What battle or war in history would you have wanted to participate in?
None?
Stalingrad, just to see the plume of smoke that formed a cross over the city.
Or Verdun just to see the destruction.
Heraclea, as a war elephant
>>1200777
>cold, dead and a commie
or
>cold, dead with gas blisters
>>1200750
All of the wars of the Roman republic up to the civil ones.
Ave Victoriam!
Roma Invicta!
The battle of Marathon would be so great, just slaughtering all those persians
>>1200750
Crusades
DEUS VULT
A battle under Khalid ibn al Walid, Drawn Sword of Allah, killing crosscucks preferably. Smashing the Byzantines, raping their women, enslaving their kids.
>>1200813
THEY'RE COMING RIGHT AT US!
>>1200835
>>1200807
Being in Germanicus's army would have been fun, teaching those stupid germanshits a lesson in pain for fucking with rome.
>>1200798
Or, on the off chance you survive Stalingrad...
>Cold, battered, but victorious and about to push the Germans all the way back to Berlin over the next two years
But yeah, even surviving the slaughter that was Verdun would be horrible. Two more years of trench bullshit with barely any progress until the last stages of the war.
>>1200848
I get that Deus Vult is a meme now, but it really would be exciting to at least take part in the first crusade, if not the other less successful ones.
Swedish side in the Battle of Narva
The russians were so utterly defeated that the chance of me dying would be minimal
And to see the far more numerous remnants of the russian army surrender to us because they don't stand a chance against us even with their superior numbers
>>1200835
>thinks they were all one war/battle
Back to /pol/
>>1200769
The only adult in this thread
>>1200942
Yeah all that plundering, raping and slaughtering jews. So adventutous.
The Battle of Lepanto. Imagine sailing with your Holy League buddies in the last major galley battle of the Mediterranean. After the glorious battle, the Ottoman fleet is defeated and together you have prevented them from expanding their influence in the Mediterranean. As a bonus, thousands of Christian prisoners would be rescued from slavery on the captured ships. It was truly a glorious day for all of Christendom.
Any battle that didn't have a casuality on my side
What's the whitest army that allowed camp followers? I'd love to the sex toy of some qt roman on the go. preferably in a war we win
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey.
>>1200990
>>all that plundering, raping and slaughtering jews
I dunno about adventurous, but it sure sounds like a fun time.
Did you forget where you are for a moment?
>>1200990
I won't deny the Crusaders commited atrocities, but retaking the Holy Land from the Saracens would indeed be an adventure. Call me a Christboo, but it sounds cool. I know it's been.heavily romanticized, but Christian and Muslim states clashed so much it was essentially a continuation of those struggles with a religious pretext.
"Bananas for demonic monkey"
>>1200990
Fuck jews
>>1200750
If all war is horrible then it would have to be one that is the most just such as the fight against the Nazis.
But nah im just kidding it would have to be the Battle of Raphia, just to see it.
I'd like to help Platius rekt Boudica that daft cunt.
fight with Caeser in Gaul
Or serve under Vespasian in the legio II
>>1200990
You think most of the rest of "adventures" in history were any different?
>>1201021
noice palindrome get brah
Siege of Constantinople. Just before the final attack i would go and close the side gate so the turks can't get in. The attack fails, and Mehmet withdraws the next day ( he promised to do so if that attack failed. ) I save christendom by shutting a door.
>>1200960
but i'm not from /pol/
>>1200990
BANANAS FOR DEMONIC MONKEY
I would fight for the Emperor!!!!
>>1200777
>voluntarily wanting to participate in two of the most miserable battles in human history "just to see"
>>1200750
Battle of the Little Bighorn on the side of the Natives.
>>1201058
The glorious felines of immunity are with me, I fear no ape.
>>1200750
I'm pretty sure there was a soccer war between 2 South American countries.. So, Battle of the Field Fairies.
>>1201308
I think tribal people might have had meme wars
>>1200769
The first post is always the best
>>1200750
I'd want to be alongside the valiant Caesar at Alessia.
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
>>1200990
BANANAS FOR DEMONIC MONKEY
None because I'm not an autistic teen ager whose impressions of war come primarily from Cowadoody
>>1200750
>>1200750
Battle of the Crater, on the side of the Confederates.
Now I'm not one of those "lost cause" morons, but if I'm going to have to pick a battle and a side, I'd pick the battle where it literally turned into a shooting gallery.
The story goes that though the Union soldiers were gallant they were notoriously disorganized, and when one of their commanders got it in his thick skull to sap the confederate line with underground explosives, he forgot to equip his soldiers with ladders, and the resulting massive crater caused by the blast filled with union soldiers who had no way of climbing out of it, and the confederates could look down on them and at pick them off at their leisure.
And then as an added horror/benefit (depending on who you ask) after they were victorious the confederates descended into the crater and slaughtered every negro soldier who had taken up arms against the confederacy like cattle while taking all of the white soldiers prisoners of war. Of course every single one of those confederates was later drowned in the mud by vengeful negro soldiers at Jenkin's Ferry, but we're only talking about participating in a single battle, right?
Another battle which went like this was Fredericksburg, which turned into such a meat grinder that it caused Robert E. Lee to utter "it is a good thing that war is so terrible, lest we grow fond of it," as he watched Union soldiers bite it by the thousands.
>>1201411
don't be a dick, this is basically a memorable battles thread. Half of /his/ don't have the courage to run into battle and the other half couldn't kill a person. I'm the latter.
Stirling Bridge is pretty interesting, fighting for something worth the trouble
>>1201505
Seriously.
So many fucking killjoys in this thread trying to shame people for fantasizing about something that every culture on the planet finds fascinating (if less so to actually participate)
but
>Half of /his/ don't have the courage to run into battle and the other half couldn't kill a person. I'm the latter.
Oh, I bet with the right cause/motivation and training they could be beaten into surprisingly good soldiers. Confederate country boys thought that they were going to steamroll over the urbanized Union sissies and changed their tunes almost immediately after the first few battles despite the fact that they were confederate victories.
Battle of Vienna. Just to see this fucking charge
>>1201154
>>1201368
>>1201384
Three candels for three saved souls. Rest of you will burn in banana hell tonight, no fancy pussy will protect you
>>1201812
Polandball detected
>>1201898
You arouse the ire of the immunity granting ones at your own peril, fuckface.
>>1200769
>>1201411
>cuckold pacifists who think they're being intellectuals for saying war is bad like none of us fucking know that
>>1201812
same
Spanish Civil War
Franco-Prussian War
Any of the Napoleonic Conquests (excluding Russia)
Battle of Las Navas de Tolosa
Peloponnesian War
Some of the Crusades.
The catalaunian field, on the side of the romans just to rekt some huns in bloody battle
>>1200750
Israeli War of Independence so I can comically BTFO A-rabs
>>1200750
One of the victorious battles of king Gustaf II Adolphus, aka the lion from the north.
>>1200750
Agincourt
I would go with a camera and video from afar just to prove to the autistic's that Longbows are effective against fully armoured knights
The Finno-Korean Hyper War.
Down with the Hwan!
>>1202429
>I would go with a camera and video from afar just to prove to the autistic's that Longbows are effective against fully armoured knights
Who are exhausted, savaged by dysentery, and trapped hopelessly in thick mud
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
Probably Gravelines, Naseby, or Blenheim desu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLwebTq9qcc
>>1200808
This. Battle of Marathon.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I22xdJgraZw
I know it's not like this but damn does it play like this in my imagination.
Narva, swedish side, so i can kill some russians and live in the good old swedish empire
>>1200750
>Gettysburg
>General... really... you do not need to do this. You are already winning the war defensively.
>>1200750
Third War for Armageddon ofc
>>1200990
bananas for demonic monkey
The Alamo
I Live, I Die, I Live Again
>>1200750
Tours.
>>1200750
none of them
If I absolutely had to choose a war to fight in I would either do the Revolutionary War (because it would be for something I deeply believe in at least) or the Kettle Pot War
>>1200848
>>1200750
Emu war would have been pretty fun
Bosworth Field on the Plantagenet side to try and kill Henry Tudor.
Alesia
> so i can be in caeser senpai's presense
The battle of Gaugamela just to see Alexander the Great pull off some of the most ridiculous tactics of all time. Balls of steel.
>>1203034
Most memorable thing Caesar said in the series imo. Ptolemy got btfo
>>1202665
>You are already winning the war defensively.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that by this point in the war the Union's blockade was devastating the Confederacy's access to supplies needed to continue fighting. The Confederate strategy to inflict costly defeats on the Union early on and force them to negotiate had failed, as they had many more war supplies and were willing to keep feeding the meat grinder in a way that the Confederacy simply couldn't afford. This led Lee to go on the offensive as an act of desperation.
>>1201411
I've never been in a "battle", but I was in the US Army for 8 years where I saw some dudes get literally BTFO by an IED and shot a guy who opened fire on us because he was butthurt over being literally cucked by a soldier. Driving down the road pretty much daily waiting for the next IED was a thousand times more frightening than the gunfight. The latter actually got my adrenaline going in a good way and seems like it might almost have been a fun experience except for the actual act of killing the guy, which I never felt good about.
>>1200852
god dammit Germanicus was so fucking awesome
what could have been ;_;
BANANAS FOR DEMONIC MONKEY
Siege of Vienna, with Jan Sobieski, I just want to hear the horses charging.
The one where I'm an artillery man or scout cavalryman
>>1201499
On that topic, I'd be down for fighting with the 21st Ohio Volunteer infantry at Chickamauga. Sure, the Union retreated in that battle, but the 21st put up a hell of a last stand with revolver rifles. They put out so much fire that the confederates thought they were up against a whole division.
Granted, they did eventually run out of ammo and get captured, but it still sounds like it would be a cool last stand to be in up until the end.
>>1200990
bananas for demonic monkey
>>1202805
/thread
The Fall of Constantinople, on the Byzantine side. Dying would be worth it.
Dardanelles Operation
On the Turkish side
>be British get kebabd
>>1202269
There's always one or two "2mature4u" asshats who hate fun.
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
Austerlitz or Guagamela just to witness a truly great commander at the peak of their powers and in person
>>1203267
Eh, they still a massive step up from the banana monkey retards
>>1200990
BANANAS FOR DEMONIC MONKEY
>>1200990
Bananas for Demonic Monkey.
The battle of San Jacinto, Texas war for independence.
Obviously on the side of the Texans, mainly because of the extremely low casualties. Why would anyone want to participate in a battle that doesn't result in overwhelming victory? Remember the Alamo.
Alesia
Towton
Brunkeberg
>>1200750
Kursk
![Dernier_carre_de_la_Garde_-_gen_Hill[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/f5UbVWy.png "Dernier_carre_de_la_Garde_-_gen_Hill[1].png")
>>1200750
waterloo
more specifically the old guard last stand, that's easily the most heroic thing i've ever heard about war - commiting and sacrificing your best men, that you personally knew and who have been there with you since your early campaigns to stall the enemy while the rest of the army retreats must have been hard as fuck for napoleon... but that's how tales of valour are made.
>pic related: you're in the club, this guy approaches you and asks you to surrender, what do you do?
>>1204855
It didn't happen like that. The committing of the guard was the last resort, it was the ultimate charge, not to save his army from retreating, but just to win Waterloo.
Except they didn't win. They retreated. The first and last time of their unit's history.
>>1200750
None but for this thread
Stalingrad
360 no scope hitler
Normandy 1944 U.S. para, or riding with general Villa, fighting federal troops, banging adelitas on the side, not getting caught by Pershing and Patton and raiding gringo border towns and not getting caught cause superior knowledge of terrain.
Pic related, famous WWII general in pic related
>>1200750
Guadalcanal, just so I can go fuck Aussie pussy for a month before the cuck upris- I mean Battle of Brisbane.
Balkan wars. Would love to kill S*rb/gr*ek/T*rk shits with my fellow hayduks
>>1200990
bananas for demon monkey
The Catalaunic fields, im eager to remove horsefuckers from premises
>>1202672
Enjoy being ripped a million new arseholes by ghazkulls robot arm
>>1200955
Is that a three-barrel gun on a sledge?
>>1203109
I know right? I mean just reading about his campaigns in germania makes me want to fire up either Rome Total War or it's Sequel and murder some barbar shits.
Also Tiberius was a jerk.
>>1205409
>Implying I'm not Ghazghkull
>>1200990
bananas for demonic monkey
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kettle_War
>you will never go back in time and save her from that dutch cannonball
Is this how Jeff Mangum feels when he reads about Anne Frank?
>>1205017
i'm pretty sure it was, since they had virtually no one to back them up... from the cuirassiers charge led by ney to the last stand of the last guard it was all about doing the "right thing" but accomplishing nothing but to get as many kills as possible before dying hence the "come and see how a marshall of france dies" quote - but ultimately it was a mere show of bravado and heroic stupidity with little hope to achieve victory
Definetly the Battle for Leipzig, just to see those 600,000 soldiers slaughtering each other.
Also for Saxony or Württemberg just see the french's faces when we suddenly start killing them.
wounded knee
>>1205892
No its the general's fleshlight for his triple cock
>>1200990
BANANAS FOR THE DEMONIC MONKEY
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
battle of Berlin for the Motherland bitches
>>1200750
All of them
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
Also, deus vult.
I would wanna do my part for the reich on the eastern front.
>>1200769
>>1200835
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
>>1200990
BANANAS FOR DEMONIC MONKEY
The battle of Narva during WW2 as the Germans. It epitomizes the eastern front but doesn't have a huge mortality rate like Stalingrad.
>>1202444
This is the only logical answer
>>1203265
Christfag pls go
>>1202665
>implying Longstreet didn't tell him the same thing but Lee was too single minded to listen
>>1203888
how did this even happen?
were the texans the only ones with guns or what?
>>1204201
>alesia
have fun building walls around walls around walls while getting shot at the whole time
>>1202574
usually movies with historical inaccuracies annoy me but honestly I think the ancient Greeks themselves would've loved 300 and it's sequel.
>>1207453
A siesta was called by Santa Anna, Texans charged during siesta, Mexicans slept and died.
Battle of Blood River, for the Voortrekkers ofc
>>1200750
Battle of Texel on French side. Be part of only time in history where cavalry captures a fleet.
BANANAS FOR THE DEMONIC MONKEY
>>1202444
This is not a joke. The most brutal conflict in all of human history, and you want to watch it like it was a fucking game?
>>1202444
Le Hyper War xDDDDDD
>>1207846
>The Finno-Korean Hyper War.
The hell is this, some /his/ meme?
>>1200990
bananas for demonic monkey
>>1207854
The Hyper-War was no meme you illiterate, countless billions died to due ultimately to the vile provocations of the Hwan, and the effects of the activation of the Giza Autism Relay affect the finns and their baltic brethren even today.
>>1207870
no seriously, please tell me more so I can get into this ebin dank meme
>>1200990
"Bananas for demonic monkey"
>>1207871
It's the dumbest forced meme ever.
You don't want to get into this shit.
>>1207904
then explain, is it /his/ only?
>>1202506
So your typical Frenchmen?
>>1207847
wow dude great post!!!!!
>>1207871
the Finno-Hwan Hyper war
>>1202444
You have no idea how much I hate this fucking meme, this is uncyclopedia tier shit. Fuck your trips.
>>1202574
>swords, axes, barely any fucking spears
fucking fuck this triggers my autism
>>1207908
It really only exists on /his/ and is based on some claims that the Finns and Koreans actually did posses really fucking ancient and really fucking huge empires. Considering both claims to the existence of these empires, and considering their possible proximity to each other, it wouldn't have been too farfetched for assume they fought at some point. As for the absurd technology shit and whatnot, I believe it's just wankery playing off the popular idea of long lost super advanced empires.
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
Pretty much any under the command of Ghengis Khan or his general Jebe.
>steamroll cucks
>rape foreign women
>loot everything
>>1208099
>you will never rape and impregnate as many women as Genghis-senpai
>your vast descendants will never live alongside his
>>1207453
Basically this >>1207546. They were caught, literally in the case of Santa Anna (their presidente and military leader AKA the napoleon of the west) with their pants down. It was a slaughter where not even Texan commanders were able to stop the killing. The troops seemed to be in a furious rage over the previous Mexican slaughters of the Alamo and Goliad. It was a bloodbath. Also they wanted to attack for a long time before that to the point of mutiny as Sam Houston tried to make them wait for the right moment. Luckily it seemed to pay off as this battle resulted in decisive victory and the creation of the Republic of Texas.
>>1208367
Also a large number of reinforcements on the Mexican side had just recently walked for days across Texas to join Santa Anna and were supposedly very tired and possibly malnourished. And the Mexicans were possibly over confident about their other crushing victories at the Alamo and Goliad. They certainly had guns though, all and all the Mexican army was larger, and more well stocked. The Texan army was mostly pioneers with very little military training. Can't really explain it.
>>1200990
bananas for demonic monkey
>>1200990
BANANAS FOR DEMONIC MONKEY
>>1202444
>You will never be a part of the ursine cavalry
>You will never see the fear on the eyes of the Hwan civilians in the sack of Gangzhou
Why even live?
The 1918 Spring Offensive, manning the Paris guns.
Take part ina battle? Maybe not. But start experiencing it just after the end/winning it. Or maybe to witness as a bystander some of the things people saw post battle.
Ireland post 1916 Easter Rising would be interesting; attitudes toward the rebels were cynical and disapproving at first but after British treatment of them and other fighters support surged for them, which would have been interesting to see.
Battle of Tara, too, in which a few hundred Irish soldiers managed to trounce over 7000 Norse troops from Dublin-it was the actual key battle in ending Norse-Irish power in Dublin as opposed to Clontarf which was really just the final nail, although it too was apparently a veyr bloody and brutal battle.
I probably sound Ireland-centric, but there's a lot of cool stuff there I'd like to have seen.
>>1200990
bananas for demonic monkey
>>1208367
>>1208378
>Can't really explain it.
I think not being on guard do to overconfidence and having a large portion of troops exhausted from a long march just before being attacked by a highly motivated force explains it pretty well. I think people sometimes forget how important morale is to winning battles and wars.
>Also they wanted to attack for a long time before that to the point of mutiny as Sam Houston tried to make them wait for the right moment. Luckily it seemed to pay off as this battle resulted in decisive victory
The Mexicans had breastworks built around around their camp, so it's probably good that Houston waited for the attack. If hey'd gone in to early they might have ended up attacking a larger force that was holding a fortified position against them.
>tfw I took part in the greatest war of our generation
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_Chinese_memes_war_on_Facebook
>>1207904
next to le smug >hre man
>>1202577
Bravo Estonia
>>1200990
bananas for demonic monkey
>>1207908
Can't believe there are hyperwar deniers to this day
>>1200990
BANANAS DEMONIC MONKEY
>>1207425
NO!
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
>>1201138
then it may be a more conducive environment for you.
>>1200990
bananas for demonic monkey
>>1200990
Bananas for demonic monkey
