what /his/torical fantasies do you have?
I personally spend at least an hour before bed fantasizing what it'd be like to ride the steppes and conquer the world under one banner
I spend time dreaming about being a well to do during Le Belle Epoque.
Taking some whore from nam back to the United States
I sometimes have historical fap fantasies along those lines
>>1016731
Being a Britbong sailor in the 18th century, sailing across the Pacific and trading iron nails for sex with hot Polynesian girls, all without having to fear scurvy.
>>1016774
what about constant torture from the higher ups?
I want to be a vicar in the Church of England reading the news that they just did away with clerical celibacy and shouting "I can get laid now let's go to the pubs m8s and then we can worship God in the morning, God Save the King!"
i have a dream
that in 20 years time
i will conquer the world through...the word.
Emperor Hadrian, decorated most of the Roman Empire with statues of his nude teenaged boyfriend after he drowned himself. Hadrian was in his 50's at the time.
>>1016731
I want to be comfy European monk in a 11th or 12th century, doing things that monks do. Sometimes it's a hermit, or both.
>>1016815
you wouldn't be gettin laid tho
>>1016778
Sex with syphilis-free brown girls more than makes up for it.
Being King Solomon in the apocryphal stories where he is not only the smartest monarch in sight but also pulls off the weird trick of both being loved by God and a powerful demon-commanding sorcerer.
Roman patrician during the Republic times, fucking slaves, watching gladiator fights and conquering for the glory of Rome.
>>1016815
I also wished I was on the fantastic voyage of St. Brendan.
Octavian selects me as his heir.
I'm young.
I use my knowledge of economics, science, and public management to turn Rome full unstoppable level.
By 70 everything is ready. We are going to fucking ruin the Parthians.
>die
>>1016875
What if Livia or Tiberius or someone like that kills you?
Wouldn't you have to marry his whore of a daughter?
Being an Ottoman sultan with a harem of multicolored QT wives
>>1016930
Ottoman sultans had more than adult women in their harems
creepy rapist perverts desu
>>1016731
sounds like you should play mount and blade warband
>>1016930
I have way too many historical lewd fantasies to list. I should write some smut sometime.
>>1016849
My man. Shit must have been so comfy. Alternatetively, I wouldn't mind being a 19th century english Lord earning money doing nothing.
>>1016939
>Riding across the steppe and conquering the world feels just like clicking on a map and flailing around a mouse in a jank-ass vidya
>>1016939
When will those roaches finally release Bannerlord?
>>1016934
>Ottoman sultans had more than adult women in their harems
Yeah, like their moms and a small army of castrated black men.
>>1016949
>jank-ass vidya
you dont understand how great warband is, and how great bannerlord will be
i tried to help you
>>1016939
Who doesn't?
>>1016959
Warband is many things. Quality is not one of them.
Being a Hussar and best bros with Lasalle
>>1016731
Spanish Cavalry Officer from a wealthy in the early 18th century...see the world, fight the world, hump the world.
>>1016965
its a great game with awesome quality, especially with the mod potential and community it has. what exactly dont you like about it? i get it if the game doesnt appeal to you, its entirely your opinion but im curious.
>>1016983
Look, I like it like I like cup ramen. Just because it can be fun doesn't mean it's very well put together.
Hunting whales in the early 19th Century and telling that faggot stowaway Herman Melville to quit obsessively taking notes about every god damn thing and do some work before I push his shit in.
Going back in time so I could warn the founders about how people in the future would use all sorts of bullshit mental gymnastics to get around the constitution.
I'd also tell Franklin about metallic rifle cartridges and bolt action rifles. He could probably figure out how to make them in time to kick the shit out of the Canadians and Brits in 1812.
I sometimes fantasize about showing historical figures and authors modern movies, curious about their reactions.
>>1017004
and smokeless powder, don't forget about that.
I'd give the British right before the American revolution Maxim machine guns
And I'd also give Austria-Hungary nukes right before WWI for funny shenanigans
Being a Criollo in 16th century Mexico
>dad's a conquistador
>no duties
>no taxes
>have luxurious hacienda maintained by indio serfs
>attend operas and plays and read latest Spanish Golden Age literature
>brown qts lust after you all day for the privilege of bearing your children
19th century British Spy in Central and South Asia
>>1016731
Rescuing Joan of Arc on the eve of her execution and raising a family with her in the comfy French countryside
>>1017056
oh shit, you gave the british fancy paperweights, because the technology to make replacements and ammunition is a century ahead.
Exploring America with fur trade bros bringing in some cash to diferent European crowns
Time-travelling back in time to like the greeks and just dropping future knowledge on them, I was thinking about it just now. Are there any good time travel books that focus on this form of culture shock?
>>1016824
It's not like we will get that now either.
>>1016731
I mean, I think the historical period in which anyone sane would choose to live would be 1870-1914.
Looking for El Dorado with my bro, Aguirre.
>>1016731
Show the Japanese that their country would be mostly remembered for animu, tentacle porn and getting rekt two times by giant bombs.
I'd love to be a Russian Guard Infantryman at Borodino, just the scale of it all. Being in a massive infantry square being assaulted on all sides by french cuirassiers, artillery going off all around you. Just the complete and utter chaos of it all. I'll never be able to live during this time, honestly feelsbadman.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26cr_rBQu74
>>1016731
I did that too when I was 12.
Sometimes I fantasize about what the world would be like if world leaders cared for people other than themselves. F.e.: If Wilhelm I of Germany tried to improve the living conditions in Germany and in the colonies instead of waging a world war. If all powers cared to improve the lives of the people in the colonies, and not just exploit them. If Wilhelm I let Alsac-Lorraine vote democratically to which country to belong, Germany and France, and resolved the tension between the countries. If Austria did the same for Bosnia, Croatia, Slovenia, Czech Republic and Slovakia.
What the world could've been like if people, especially the powerful ones, cared for others too.
>>1018119
That was hell on Hearth.
>>1017368
My nigga
Being at the UN when Adlai BTFO Zorin over the missiles in Cuba.
That or riding across the Silk and Tea Roads, meeting other travelers, visiting far-off places, and being able to see Central Asia in its prime.
Being able to see the Battle of St. Quentin where d'Esperey attacked across the Oise River with military bands playing and regimental banners flying.
I've always desired to be a knight, fighting for God, King, and Country against those who would seek to harm the innocent or impose upon us their heathen ways.
>>1018739
>If Wilhelm I let Alsac-Lorraine vote democratically to which country to belong, Germany and France
What the hell, man. These territories have been German since forever and weren't incorporated into France until the 17th and 18th century. It was France, on the other hand, who had a very bad repuation for straight out genociding every people under its flag. One king, one religion, one language.
If you want to blame a monarch or people, look for someone else. If there ever have been a couple of good guys in Europe, it were the Germans.
I want to be a part of the conquest to take back Constantinople.
>>1016858
Big ol' statue dedicated to that where I live
>>1020198
>The Treaty of Frankfurt gave the residents of the region until October 1, 1872 to choose between emigrating to France or remaining in the region and having their nationality legally changed to German. About 161,000 people, i.e., around 10.4% of the residents of Alsace-Lorraine, opted for French citizenship (the so-called Optanden); however, only about 50,000 actually emigrated, while the rest acquired German citizenship.[4]
>>1018739
>What the world could've been like if people, especially the powerful ones, cared for others too.
you sound like a gay lmao
>>1018033
Lest Darkness Fall.
>>1016992
It's extremely well put together though. Just because it has shit textures doesn't make it poorly done.
>>1016983
>awesome quality
>especially with the community is has
nigga have you been on the forums lately
I wish I was Irish.
Specifically, I wish I was Irish and fighting the Brits in the troubles, and I wish the Troubles had been on a larger scale and the Nationalists had stuck to only targeting police officers and soldiers instead of devolving into thugs 2 seconds into the conflict.
I wish I could fight through streets of Belfast and eventual win the land back from the Brits and I wish the south had a strong enough economy to support it.
Fucking god dammit Ireland which are you all such shitters
>>1016731
Being able to convince Wilhelm not to get involved in some damn fool thing in the Balkans.
>>1016731
I always love the idea of inheriting a county or something from a medieval kingdom and with my knowledge of economics, history and decent maths I will make it a profitable, well fed and safe province. I would rule it like an anglo saxon kings law you know
I fantasize about saving Joan of Arc with a big black woman sining corny disco-pop in the background
>>1016956
If you don't want to get cucked you have the remove the cuck tool.
I think life as an ottoman sipahi in the 16th century would be great.
>own some comfy balkan village
>have a qt balkan wife
>destroy the sultans enemies
Use medicine and future knowledge to prevent the plague of Justinian and prevent the spread of Islam.
Use medicine and future knowledge to help the Americas survive the incoming disease and provide them with better firearms then the Conquistadors had.
