have you ever been to a dominatrix?
thinking about it, but not sure where to find a good one or what to expect
bump for interest
>>961287
This is an image board not /adv/. Enjoy your ban.
>>961287
>have you ever been to a dominatrix?
Yes. It's fun.
>>961366
sorry for broken one
>>961287
Yeah. It's neat but depends on what you're into.
If you are into femdom, know what to expect, and know a bit about who you're going to see, it's incredible.
I've wondered how many pros keep it professional. And how many attend like every public event. I'm in Dallas, and I don't think my local clubs really allow pro domming. Not strictly, that's just not what they're there for. Maybe some of the other swinger clubs in town do that though.
>>961287
You should give it a try, OP. I've been to dommes and it's fun.
Do your research and pick someone who seems to share your interests so you both have a good time.
When you contact them, email or whatever, include a little money or an Amazon gift card code. It doesn't have to be a huge amount, even $5 is something. The reason for this is to prove you aren't a waste of her time. The world is fully of beggars and people who want something for nothing. Show her that you value her time, and she will probably value what you have to say, and take longer talking with you about what you're into before you actually schedule a session.
Be as clear as possible. Say what you like and why you like it. She probably won't judge you unless you say you have a humiliation fetish and want to be judged.
>>961915
Dollhouse?
>>962319
Dollhouse?
What is Dollhouse?
>>962298
well there are some kind of kinks i never rly tried before and i am not sure if i'm really into it.
like ballbusting for example.
still what did you guys pay for an 1h session?
>>962346
Not that chap, but when I first went, I only went for foot worship and watersports. During that first session, I also got to try out being spanked, having a butt plug in and nipple clamps.
You will flesh out what you're into and there is always a safety word anyway if things get too intense.
>>962346
That's fucking shopped
>>962330
Sci-if show staring Eliza Dushko. She's a 'doll', male and female agents with no real personality. They have memories and different personalities imprinted on them in order to carry out contracts.
Anything from an assassination to having a very expensive prostitute.
Show was alright. I didn't mind watching Dushku getting slutty at times and Dichen Lachman is gorgeous.
>>962383
I was making a bad joke referring to Victor, the doll, who was playing the low-level gangster that Paul Ballard tries to push for information on The Dollhouse. He responds to the demands for information with confusion.. So.. thus the joke.
>>962367
The unshopped version is better
>>962504
yes
>>962503
Wow, sorry.
Been a few years since I watched it.
>>962347
>Not that cheap
How much??
>>962643
I had a offer of 200 euros for a hour.
>>962298
It varies a lot. Some places have a set hourly rate, some places you negotiate* the price based on what you want to do. Unless you're going to travel far away to see someone specific, then just look around at what's offered locally, just use Google. Email your favorite or favorites and set something up.
Some dommes also do social outings which is a great way to get to know them. You still have to pay of course, this isn't a "date" because they "like you." You're a customer, but for $100 or something like that you can take them to lunch and just chat, learn how things work, etc.
*Note: "Negotiate" does not mean "$500? C'mon baby, how about $400?" Negotiate means you learn from her what she charges for things and if something is too expensive for you, you can ask what's cheaper. "$500 for watersports? Hmm, maybe I'll save that for next time then. Is there anything in the $300 range?"
As a good rule of thumb, think about what you do for a job. If someone wanted you to do it for less than you get paid at work, you might be offended. Even if you flip burgers for $10/hr, if someone wanted you to flip their burgers for $5/hr, you might think it was rude of them to assume your time wasn't worth $10/hr, but if they wanted you to do something more enjoyable, like EAT burgers for $5/hr, you might be down for that.
>>962659
That's actually a pretty low price for that kind of a service
>>962737
Thanks anon, hope they have this kinky stuff in my country.
By the way, does anyone know if its okay if a guy comes there without having a relationship or sex before in his life?
I've read about some people who avoid virgins for some reason, and some wont even accept people who aren't at least 30 years old or even those who are in-experienced
>>961287
why would you want to go?
you apparently have no clue weither it will be what you're looking for
>>961382
Hot damn I need a source on this. To contribute to the discussion though; what do you do at a dominatrix? Do you just get spanked and shit? Do you get to touch her at all? Is it just kind of femdom sex or is there no real sex involved?.
>>962861
They will not care if you are a kissless virgin.
Unless you want them to care and make fun of you for it. If that's your kink that can probably do that. But I don't think they'll turn you away. But of course, it's all individual. Can a woman have a "no one under 30" policy? Sure, no one can stop her. I'm confident that you can find someone who will see you in your nearest decently sized city.
>>962934
>What else can I expect?
Expect the unexpected. Nah, but seriously this question is too vague to answer. You're seeking an experience that has a lot of variety. It's like if I asked, "I'm going to see music performed, what can I expect?" Um...music? Other than that it's going to vary a lot.
>What's the average going rate?
What's the price of a nice meal? You see how there's no way for ME to answer this question. for you. The price can vary based on who you are seeing, what you want to do, and WHERE YOU ARE. If you post your location I will happily go on http://lmgtfy.com/ and Google dominatrices in your area for you, then you can click on the link and see what I Googled for you, or, you can Google it yourself, cause you already know where you are.
>Where do you meet em?
Some have their own dungeon where you will meet them.
Some rent a space as needed that is also rented by other people for other things.
It's very unlikely that someone would give a perverted strangers their home address, but it happens, so they might meet at their home, but this is very unlikely.
There's always your house, but walking into a complete stranger's house is a very bad idea, so it's unlikely anyone will be dumb enough to do this.
>Any frequent customer discounts?
This is actually possible. If you see them multiple times, and they get to know you, they can actually enjoy working with you. The "discount" might be that they'll charge less, but it's far more likely that they'd charge the same amount, but provide more, or better service. The first time you see them maybe it's $300 for a 30 minute spanking, but the 50th time you see them, maybe it's $300 for a spanking, and making you lick her boots, and giving her a foot massage.
>They let you cum at the end or what?
It varies based on their preference and local laws. I wouldn't make it the first thing you ask, but you can just ask them what's allowed.
>>963049
>what do you do at a dominatrix?
Depends what you want, what she’s willing to do, and what’s legal in your area. It can very by city ordinance, state/provincial laws, and of course by nation. This is like asking “What do I order at a restaurant?” Food, is the very vague answer to your very vague question. If you go to the ice cream shop and order a steak, you’re going to be told you’re in the wrong restaurant. If your order an endangered species, they’ll tell you that no restaurant offers that. Look at the restaurant’s website and call ahead to make sure you can order what you want, how you want it.
>Do you just get spanked and shit?
“And shit?” That’s super vague unless you’re literally asking about scat play. See my restaurant analogy.
>Do you get to touch her at all?
That’s up to her. I’m sure some have a strict zero touching policy, but usually some level of touching is permitted. Just ask what’s allowed and what’s not? It will vary depending who you see. There will of course be some limits beyond which things would be illegal, unless you’re in a specific place where prostitution is legal, then she might not have any limits, but you still have to ask, even if prostitution is legal, she might have personal limits. One of the cool things about people who do sexually related working like pro-dimming, is that they probably won’t judge you for an honest and respectful question.
“I was wondering, am I allowed to have intercourse with you?” No, sorry, honey.
“Hey bby, le’me hit dat pussy!” “Get out!”
>>963049
>Is it just kind of femdom sex or is there no real sex involved?.
Unless you’re in a place where prostitution is also legal, then don’t expect sex. Now keep in mind the definition of “sex” varies, legally speaking. Some countries it might be legal for them to jerk you off by hand, other countries they can’t even poke you with a stick while you’re jerking yourself off. You can look up your local laws, or ask the domme. And of course, she might have different rules than the government. Maybe prostitution is legal, but she doesn’t fuck clients personally. Asking me is a dead end, I’m not the one dominating you.
>>963199
Literally just went and downloaded her entire reddit "catalogue".
>>963192
you are supposed to say "gimme da pusi plz b0ss"
>>963342
Protip: pronounce it "b-zero-ss" like Strong Bad.
>>961915
sauce?
>>961287
My gf and I got one for a night. she tied up my gf and locked my chastity cage on my penis and edged the fuck out of me, then she fucked us both with a strap on while insulting and humiliating us. The dom seemed to have a legit good time since neither me nor my gf are fat nasty slobs.
>>961287
It's been a week. Did you do it?
>>965756
not yet
>>962032
I'm in Dallas too. Where do I find swingers clubs?
>>966339
Austin.
Nah, I'm joking, here's a list for you http://lmgtfy.com/?q=dallas+swingers+club
I have been twice. The first time was a mismatch. She was too softcore for me. For example, she thought gags are too dangerous. The second time was much more interesting, but still not the revelation I thought it would be. I was plenty aroused throughout the session, but my dick ended up confused at one point and she couldn't make me cum, which she was intent on doing. We ended it with no hard feelings.
She was quite cool, a female bodybuilder.
>>965988
What are you waiting for?
>>967305
Follow this OP
>>961287
depends on who you find and what you agree on
the less you specify the more she will treat you the way she wants, which can range from boring to full blown sadism
this largely depends on whether shes just a escort doing a fetish thing or if shes an actual dominant in the bdsm circles
with the latter it can even get a little scary, especialy if youre not respectfull
>>961915
Total babe
>>966751
I'd do anything she asked
gross grossy grossington, wutamoll.... lyk, wtf, WUT D FUCKING fuck?! she is well gross, innit lads, ffs, what r u, new?
try harder.
>>968142
grow up, you have to be 18+ to be here, kiddo
>>966866
Christmas
>>961287
I was always interested and finally paid mistress misook in norcal. I requested a very Asian female racial superiority angle and it was amazing. Hardest I'd ever come before. After that I knew I needed a real Asian dom so I joined fetlife and married one.
She whipped my ass till it bled, I told her not to stop. I loved it and I discovered stuff about myself.
I've been asking my gf to domme me full-time for weeks, and she's finally accepted, on the condition that I write a list of things that I'm interested in. What should I say?
She's done some light domming in individual sex sessions, but never anything that carries outside of the bedroom. I'm not sure I want to include things like humiliation or feminisation because our relationship is a loving male/female traditional romance, and I don't want to compromise the non-sexual side of things. All suggestions or advice are appreciated.
So far I think I'm interested in trying:
>chastity/denial/edgeplay/ruination
>cbt
>pegging/buttplugs
>bondage
>forced oral/ass worship/facesitting
>>970165
Sure. We met through fetlife. As far as fetlife, it's the same as using match or tinder or any of that shit. It's gonna be 9 or 90 thirsty dudes for every girl. Dom women have no trouble finding sub men, so you're not going to stand out by being "more sub" or "more into the scene" or "more into extreme humiliation." Dom women like being worshipped by traditionally high value men - fit, tall, handsome, successful, wealthy, charming, funny. She gets turned on majorly, and we talk about it in our sex life, that I'm very eligible and could get some other (white - race is a big part of our relationship, she likes the idea of stealing white men away from white women and talk of Asian female superiority) woman to suck my dick and wash my clothes but I choose to worship her like a goddess instead because only she deserves it. "Do you want somebody else's lips on your dick? Do you want somebody who doesn't hurt you? Do you like your face in my perfect Asian ass more than you like your dick in some stinky white pussy?" God damn I'm getting so turned in now.
if they want a relationship or marriage they'll also obviously be looking for husband qualities as well. So bottom line is that being sub is no shortcut to the usually shit these chicks are looking for.
Because the courtship was clearly looking for a long term relationship with DS as only a part of it, we dated a few times before sex started and got to know each other. I had to cook, drive, pay, bring gifts, etc. Not too much different than normal dating and definitely more of a worship vibe than a regular courtship. More explicit early talk about how is perfect, beautiful, talk about face sitting, her pinching me and slapping me during "making out." she was very demanding of me and my time (bring me food, I want a gift, cancel your plans) and that turned me on immensely.
Pic related. I laugh when I post this pic because I have to click the "submit" button, hahaha. >>970165
>>961915
dat filename
>>970505
I'm in a female led relationship and I can tell you "a list" isn't going to cut it. This sort of thing is a conversation, an ongoing one. Make a list, yes, but it's only use is as a reminder to yourself of points you want to hit in the conversation. Talk about what you like, why you like it, how you like it, your limits, and also talk about her needs, what she wants out of this, that's extremely important. And talk about how things will change over time, your interests will change, as will her's, and that's part of life, just role with it. Never stop communicating with each other.
>>970787
That's good advice in general, not just with a female-led relationship. Thanks.
Do you have any advice on how to avoid compromising the romantic love with the sex powerplay stuff once it leaves the bedroom?
>>970816
Doing something weird and fun together, like anything kinky, will probably be more romantic, because you are being open and vulnerable with each other, and sharing something hidden about yourself that you don't share with the rest of the world, if you're both into it, it will make you closer.
Talk beforehand.
Have fun and talk during as needed.
Talk after and cuddle if that's something you both like.
Some people want a roleplay, and when it's over they want to be held and petted and told "You're not really scum, but it was fun to play." and others like it to be more real, and afterward to be held and petted and told "I love you even though you're scum." And probably some people don't even want the cuddling, but it's hard to picture them cause cuddling is fucking awesome.
>>971053
Can't picture cuddling with a dom actually
I'd rather have a cuddly one on the side
>>971053
I've just had a conversation with her about what we both want from it. I've told her to be able to talk to me all the time as she normally would.
When I ask how to keep the sex and RL separate once the sex seeps into real life, I'm not sure my question is coming across properly. How do you actually interact with the female in your relationship sexually? Is it just like a normal relationship, except most of the sex is powerplay-based? Or does the sexual stuff seep into the other 23 hours of the day? If the latter, how do you stop it from affecting the way you think about her?
>>971054
Yeah, it's probably less likely when paying for it. Still, I'm sure some do it some don't, I don't think anyone has done statistics on it. In kinky relationships cuddling is more common than in professional arrangements.
>>971071
Think about how you keep sex and real life separate in non-kinky relationships.
In sex, you're naked and touching each other's fun bits, in real life you're wearing clothes and talking about whatever doing stuff your social group talks about. But it's not fully separate, if you piss your partner off in real life, you're not getting sex tonight. So don't think of things as 100% separate, or 100% melded together.
You can still have a powerplay dynamic in non-kinky situations, in polite society we just call it being polite, or nice, or courteous. In Starbucks, it might look a little odd to kneels down and kiss her shoe before you hand her her coffee, but it wouldn't seem weird at all that she gets to sit and relax, while you wait and line and order coffee to her specifications, and then place it in front of her and kiss her on the hand, but in the latter, you can still feel like you're serving. To anyone nosey enough to bother paying attention, you're just being an attentive caring boyfriend/husband. But you and her know that you're her devoted slave.
In my relationship, we'd look really normal in public. I can even disagree; I can think she's wrong and fight for my side of an argument. Of course, there's a big difference between "Here's why i think I'm right about this" and "You're a stupid person and I don't value your opinion." Obviously I value her viewpoint, and the thing is, she values mine. If I were a doormat, she wouldn't want me as a sub. That's her personally, I'm sure there are mistresses who prefer consensual doormats, and that's fine. Part of why my mistress likes me is that I'm a strong willful person who makes the choice to submit to her, I don't just submit to anyone. I can be an individual with opinions and rights, and still voluntarily give up control over when I get to have an orgasm - for example.
>>971071
You can't copy my relationship though, cause you're not me, and your partner isn't mine. You have to work together to find what works for you, and makes both of you happy.
I'm not sure what you mean by "how do you stop it from affecting the way you think about her?"
It's a huge part of how I think about her. Like any two people, were are many things to each other. One of those things, maybe even the most important, is that she's my mistress and I'm her submissive. We're both just humans though, I'm not perfect and neither is she. I fuck up, she fucks up, we fight, we help each other through things, we disagree on some issues, and agree on others. There's never a situation where she specifically "is not" my mistress, but it doesn't mean she's not other things, friend/girlfriend/lover etc.
If your girlfriend being your mistress changes how you think of her in some bad way, you're doing it wrong. She's just adding one role.
Maybe you're both switches. Maybe some nights, she sits on your face and smacks you in the balls, maybe the next night, you spank her and gag her with your cock, she can be your mistress and your slave, at various times. Maybe she's not a naturally dominant person, and for her, mistress really is just a role and nothing more, that's fine. There's no wrong way to do this as long as it's all consensual.
Another piece of advice - don't take yourselves too seriously. Don't get nervous and think you're doing it wrong, just enjoy, make mistakes and laugh about them together. Be honest, if you want to TRY something new, like her fucking you with a strap-on, and it doesn't work, just say, "Didn't really work for me, but I'm glad we tried it together." Or maybe it does work, and you love it, or maybe it kinda works a little, and you think with more practice it would be the best thing ever.
>>971487
>>971500
Thanks buddy, your advice is good. Hopefully it works out.
>>970534
Woah holy shit, how has nobody said how hot that shit is?
>>961287
So...have you done it yet?
>>971054
>Not cuddling with your partner
Honestly, dom cuddles are the best thing in the world.
>>971485
Yeah, obviously it's a relationship thing - not anything that you'd do with a pro-domme.
I have no idea how anybody could ever enjoy time with a pro-domme, but whatever floats your goat. For me, at least, BDSM's a really intimate and romantic thing that I'd only want to share with someone I really love.
>>964137
that sounds hot as fuck, care to give more details ?
>>970534
Please share more, I've seen your pictures posted before, hearing the stories makes it even better. Your wife is a goddess
>>970534
MOOOOOAR!!!! pics and stories please!
>>971487
I'm in the same situation as that other anon. Always thought about how to make my gf dominating me. Your advices are amazing, thanks a lot.
>>974223
I hope you and your girlfriend can both be kinky and happy, but I'll tell you the most important lesson I learned over many MANY relationship: just don't date vanilla women, only date women who are already kinky. It's not impossible to "get your girlfriend into it" but you have a much better chance of being compatible with a woman who was kinky before she met you.
>>974208
The first and only time I've ever found chastity hot.
i visited van darkholme once, best 300 bucks i ever spent.
>tfw I'm going tomorrow
I'm currently edging because she likes that before you go in. I specifically asked about strapon play and foot worship stuff, among others and she's cool with it. Very fucking exciting, my second time seeing her.
>>975286
Not op, btw. Obviously.
>>975286
So, how'd it go?
>>973980
>>974208
She is teasing me with her asshole right now. I've never had my dick in it, and frankly I think my dick is too big for it but she tells me if I can make her cum 10 times in a row vaginally then I can try it. She bought the lube and she teases me with her buttplug and makes me beg for it.
I am well-endowed (willing to prove it) and one of the games we play the most is that I am just her sex slave, that she's only interested in my giant cock and that it exists to serve her. She will let me enter her vaginally and I have to make her cum and then stop. I can only cum if she gives permission or a countdown, and sometimes she won't let me cum at all. Sometimes if I gave her a strong orgasm she will reward me with oral sex, and she says it's because my dick is her sex toy and she needs to take good care of it sometimes. The idea of ownership of a big dick that can please her and my reduction to nothing but a giant sex toy for her tiny tight vagina turns us both on so much.
Sometimes I can't make her cum before I cum myself, but right now I've gotten her there 8 times in a row and I think she's going to let me try to fuck her ass soon. It seriously won't work though.
>>975673
Here she is after I made her cum vaginally. She denied me orgasm and I begged for oral sex, and she decided to give in. She is a generous mistress most of the time actually. >>975673
>>975673
>>975781
No just here
>>975781
She seriously loves owning such a gorgeous cock. She calls it "her monster"
>>8592888
>>8592888
>>975781
>>975372
I just got back a couple of hours ago
Fucking incredible. I love her, she's absolutely amazing and has a perfect ass. She can be very cruel and punishing, obviously enjoying it, but has the softest touch when you earn it. Ending with her just stroking my hair with my head in her lap was perfect. And she's a really cool person outside of it, I dunno Im just gushing, head still spinning a bit. It was great, one of my favorite moments was her making me drink out of a dog bowl and then forcing my face into the water until I drank it down so I could breathe. I could go on and on.
>>975793
>>975796
>>975799
>>975801
>no tumblr
Too bad, guess I'll see you around in femdom type threads on here.
Her outfit is amazing, fits her perfectly. Makes her look even better. You're a lucky guy.
>>>/gif/8592888
This should work. Amazing stuff as well.
Does she keep you in chastity? Any more stories to share, pics to dump?
>>975837
Here is a pic she made me send her. She needed to see her monster at full size, I was allowed to touch myself watching the videos she makes for me. She forces me to be hard on demand and whips me hard until I bleed if I cum without her permission. My erection is for her pleasure
>>975893
The crop
>>975893
Outfit
>>975893
Outfit again
>>975793
Swank bedroom, guessing you're crazy rich?
I'm still mad jelly tho.
>>975893
Damn son you got a curve on that bih
>>975822
>I could go on and on.
Go on.
>>970534
How do you meet people on fetlife? Just go to events? It's not exactly set up as OKC where you get to message people easily.
>>976333
Well after inspection and putting on the collar she started out with some CBT, clothespinning my balls with some really tight motherfuckers, my god they hurt only really once she removed them. Once you embrace the pain its fucking glorious. ended up attaching a bucket to my balls and hanging 119g from them. I lost count of them and guessed 105 so I had to take 14 hard cane swipes to each cheek. Not to mention earlier when she grabbed my by the throat and slapped my face about 5 times for making eye contact without permission.
However as cruel as she can be and take great pleasure in it, if you make it through all the pain without pussying out she can have the softest touch, after some foot worship ending it just stroking my hair with my head in her lap.
Hey just came across that thread and i'm actually a 21yo domme, been working in that field for the last 2 years and a half. Did it both in clubs/dungeons as an employee and on my own as an independant.
I'll try to go thru the thread to see what you guys talked about but in the mean time if any of you want to know more about either my job or bdsm in general you can ask away.
Keep in mind however that i'm french, so it may differ from your own country; and also that "femdom" is a really generic term that entails A LOT of things. Every single domme i've ever met held different views on why and how they're domming. That's why i always refer to it as "personnal femdom" since i'm sure most other girls don't do it the same way.
For the one looking to try it for the first time or who got disappointed by their first time, keep that in mind. Finding the right partner, whose reason and fetishes align with you can be a tough thing to do. I've had clients literally fall in love with me and others genuinely hating every minute of our one and only session.
>>976572
>Every single domme i've ever met held different views on why and how they're domming.
But why and how do you domme?
>>976419
Yeah, the call the munches. Join some groups that match your interest as well. Fetlife has a shitty search engine though, so its hard to just add people in your area at random unless you have a ton of free time to scroll through the pages.
>>976419
Go to the meetups, start in a club. There's really no shortcut though. Like in real dating, women are in demand and men are cheap. You won't find any dom female who is impressed or relieved to finally find a submissive male. You will have to be attractive in the traditional sense, and this includes having non-fetish conversation. One thing I learned over my years of pursuing a dom relationship is that the courtship and "getting attention" phases between a dom and "regular" relationship are almost indistinguishable. I mean obviously you tailor your behavior a bit and the conversations are more sexual more quickly since you've met via something explicitly related to sex, but the best advice is to be attractive, handsome, groomed, charming, funny.
Not to get overly racial here, but being a six foot tall guy with blue eyes and light hair and a high income while seeking an Asian dom made things easier for me than a lot of men.
>>976419
>How do you meet people on fetlife? Just go to events?
Well, events is always, Always going to be the best way to meet people. Online, you're just up against greater odds. Think about it, sending a message to someone is easy, so if that's all you do, you're one of 1000 messages that probably won't even be read. Very poor odds.
But if you go to an event, you're one of a small number of guys at that event. A small number compared to 1000 anyway. Maybe it's a small event like a Munch with under 10 people, maybe it's a party with 50, maybe it's a big event with over 100, but your odds are still better than online.
Plus, in person, you can be casual and normal. There's a reason "Hey, what's up?" Doesn't work online, cause 500 people sent the same message. In person, "Hey what's up?" is just a way to start a conversation.
>It's not exactly set up as OKC where you get to message people easily.
...have you been on the site? It's insanely easy to message people. I am sincerely asking what's in your way of messaging them? Cause as far as I can see, there's nothing to prevent you messaging anyone.
>>976610
>Fetlife has a shitty search engine
You can find people BY FETISH, by location, and by being in the same group. What more do you want? Do you think Google is shitty too because it doesn't feed you cupcakes while you search?
>its hard to just add people in your area at random
Yes. It is. And that's a very VERY good thing. If you could do that, every loser joining for the first time would do it and all the women on the site would just leave the site. You realize that your asinine "complaint" is the reason the site did't fail in its first month, right?
Since there seems to be demand for this info I will tell you the secret of how to meet people ON FetLife.
Step 1: Join the site. Use your existing email or make a new one, it doesn't matter. Just sign up, it's free, and now you have an account.
Step 2: Put a few good pictures of yourself up. Pictures that reflect who you are, as a whole person, not just a guy looking for sex. You don't have to put up face pics, but it doesn't hurt, people understand that not everyone can be 100% open online, so it's okay to not put up a face pic. Pics that show you being social are good, out and about, having friends, that sort of thin. Others like people who are socially active. Put up pics of what you like. Post pics of your dog, your favorite food, a meme you like, literally whatever, just to show you're a well rounded person.
Step 3: Fill in the profile, not too much, not too little. Just the basics and a few fetishes is fine. If it's too long, people won't read it, if it's too short it will seem like you're not serious about this.
Step 4: Join some groups based on your interests. These are easy to find, they're online discussion groups.
Step 5: Chat in those groups a bit, this fills up your history, makes you look like an active member of the community.
Step 6: Join LOCAL groups on the site. "West side Munch" "Downtown singles" whatever is near you. Chat in these groups as well. For now, just keep it casual, not looking for a date or a hookup, just being friendly.
Step 7: Make local friends. You can do this online-only but it's 10 times faster to go to an event and then friend people you met at the event. "Hey, nice meeting you at the event, I sent you a friend request."
Now that you have friends, and don't look like a total newb/friendless loser, you are ready to hit on women, which again, is Much Easier and Much Faster face-to-face at a local event, but people keep asking how to meet women on the site, so there you go.
Step 8: Find gals you like based on being in the same group, or search by fetish.
Step 9: Read their profile, the whole thing, maybe read their recent posts in groups. Now you can message them with something more than "Hey, hot pix, babe, you like the dick?" You can say something meaningful based on why you messaged her instead of 1000 other women.
>>976868
>>976881
Ahhh okay gotcha. Thank you kind anons. For the record I'm not socially awkward and am 6'4 / work out / professional field. Just wasn't sure how fetlife worked and I didn't fool around with it much. I got an invite or two to a few events near me but never went because I was swapped with work and spent my free time on Tinder hitting up local sluts. Guess I need to put more effort into it. I just thought it would be a lot easier to get pegged and ballbusted but as a guy but you still gotta work for it. I think with my luck I'll eventually find a domme that's gonna make me regret it lol...
>>976963
Depends what you want out of life.
Are you looking for a long term relationship with pegging and ballbusting?
Very attainable, I'm in that relationship myself, but it does take the most work. You have to meet lots of people, get to know them, form a relationship and maintain it. It takes time, but it's worth it.
Just want some kinky friends to fool around with?
That takes less effort, but still some. You have to get to know people and become close enough with them that they are comfortable being friends with benefits.
Just want a session? Pay a pro-domme. Very little effort, but you have to have the money.
>>976965
I honestly wanna be dommed in the bedroom only. Outside of the bedroom, I don't mind if women took control, it's just that they suck at it. Most of them. I met a dom on AFF and charmed the shit out of her in an hour but she lives 2.5 hours away and I didn't feel like driving that far (fucked up I know). Looking for someone cool locally, a friend, a switch for casual play. Guess I gotta get out there more often. Hard to do with work. I thought I could take a shortcut with fetlife. NOPE. Still gotta put in work.
I might pay someone first and see how I like that. I don't mind paying $200 or $300. I'm only looking for bondage, some s&m, and humiliation. That's like very average kinks. Shouldn't be too expensive especially if I pick an average looking chick, right? Do those pay in advance findoms work on collarspace or no?
>>976977
>they suck at it
I assure you, you have met a very small sample size of women.
I have also met a very small sample size of humans, but let's neither of us forget, that our notions of a large group are colored by our personal encounters with members of that group.
I'm not sure what it is you're looking for when it comes to a woman "taking control." All this kinky stuff, when done legally, is consensual, so she only takes control if you willingly give it. Now if you mean that when you do give it, the women you've met didn't know what to do with it...well you and I have met different women. Certainly not every woman I've met is or would make a good domme, but I've met plenty who in my personal opinion are very good at it.
Yes, if you want a relationship that's kinky in the bedroom, you have to put in the work, just like a non kinky relationship. I understand you're busy with work, but remember that it's about choice. Work is rewarding, they pay you a reward every other week, and you can be proud of your job, and advance in your career, but you only have 24 hours in a day, no matter what, and you are the one who decides how you use them. If you want to have more time for relationships, or getting to the gym, or reading, or anything, you can't just decide "I'll do 30 hours worth of stuff on Tuesday. Sorry, Tuesday only has 24 hours like all days, so you need to make choices, and some things end up being sacrificed. It sounds like, up til now, what you've been sacrificing is social time, and hopefully you are happy with the choice you made. Maybe it's time to get a little more serious about making friends and finding a relationship. And I know, you don't have time. No one HAS time. We make time - if something is important to us.
>>976977
There's a lot of factors to how much a professional domination session will cost. There's a base pay for her time, obviously, even if you want to just feed her chocolate and tell her she's pretty, it's not free, cause she could spend that same hour expertly whipping someone for a lot of money, so you have to pay for her time, just like your employer pays for your time no matter how hard you work (in hourly jobs of course).
What you want to do with her makes a difference in multiple ways.
How difficult is it for her to do, is it physically difficult, or did it take time and training to be good at it, like whipping? That's more than just stepping on you, which pretty much everyone can do easily.
Does she like the activity? Obviously she might charge more for things she finds boring. Maybe foot worship is boring to her, so she charges extra to make it worth her time.
Is equipment required? Leather whips aren't cheap, she has to make enough to cover the expense of buying her outfits, equipment, etc.
How attractive she is might be a factor, indirectly. Simple supply/demand. If she's booked solid every day she works because she's hot, then she can charge more without losing customers. It's the nature of capitalism. Just don't think you'll get a discount saying "You're kinda ugly, how about half price?"
In any case, you can ask about prices before you put down your cash or credit card. And for in-person sessions, a "tip" might be expected if you enjoyed yourself. Obviously, after services have been rendered, it's optional, but if you don't tip or tip poorly, she probably won't want to play with you again. Which, if you never want to see her again, you probably don't care about. But if you had a great time and want to come back next week...might be a good idea to tip well.
>>976977
I have no idea if anything on CollarSpace is good. Most major cities have a local dungeon where you can just book an appointment, or show up unannounced and pick one of the women who's available when you stop by. You can also usually go to their website in advance and pick a woman you like based on appearance and interests. You can often even message them in advance with basic questions. Keep in mind they know how to avoid guys who just want free humiliation.
"Do you like flogging?"
"Yes, I do."
"Can you make fun of my small dick?"
"Yes."
"Like, it's really small."
"Okie dokie."
"What's your opinion of small dicks?"
"My opinion is that if you want me to be mean to you, you should pay for it."
If you try to trick them into free play they won't hit you harder, they'll just charge you more.
>>974278
I'll second that, and I'm not *at all* into femdom. I don't have to be The Boss all the time, but getting humiliated by a woman is "down periscope" time.
That said.
My wife won't do much of anything, and pushing it just leads to bad feels. Since she won't do the little things, I haven't asked her about the big things. Anyway - make sure she's on your level before you reel it in. Don't make the same mistake I did, or you'll be stuck with worse than vanilla, you'll get unflavored ice milk.
>>977006
>unflavored ice milk
You guys need to sit down and have a difficult conversation about ending the relationship.
>>977006
>
My wife won't do much of anything, and pushing it just leads to bad feels. Since she won't do the little things, I haven't asked her about the big things. Anyway - make sure she's on your level before you reel it in. Don't make the same mistake I did, or you'll be stuck with worse than vanilla, you'll get unflavored ice milk.
I'm in exactly the same situation. She was a virgin when we started dating, and I tried to introduce her to more /hc/ material and she freaked out and went back to the most basic stuff. It's very difficult to get her to do anything interesting now.
>>976599
Hahaha guess i shud have expected this question. It's both complicated and really simple actually, and the answer to both question is linked.
I'm really (really) sadistic. I love humiliating, degrading, hurting the person i domme. And i domme to hear my slave thank me for doing all these sadistic things to him/her (mostly him). My ultimate goal in domming is to make my slave love being my slave, even if it means getting degraded and slapped for hours on end.
So that's both an answer to why and how, but there is more to it. I prefer a specific kind of slave, the strugglers. I get bored really really easily if my slave is just "spineless", really submissive from the get go and i feel that he accepts w/e i want to do without fighting back too much.
On the other hand, a strong, powerful guy/girl with a strong ego won't submit easily, he/she will fight back psychologically. And there is (imo) no better feeling that taking one of these person, breaking them apart, crushing their egos and turning them into obedient slaves.
So yeah; tldr i guess : i do it for pleasure, and how : by being sadistic as fck and breaking my slaves :D
>>977027
>It's very difficult to get her to do anything interesting now.
It's a rough situation to be in, but there's no reason to spend extra time being unhappy, you both need the opportunity to move forward. Looks like you two need to have that conversation about ending the relationship.
>>975793
I like the boots...
I only post pics I took myself.
>>977248
I only post pics I took myself.
That's a clit
>>977086
>I'm really (really) sadistic. I love humiliating, degrading, hurting the person i domme. And i domme to hear my slave thank me for doing all these sadistic things to him/her (mostly him). My ultimate goal in domming is to make my slave love being my slave, even if it means getting degraded and slapped for hours on end.
>So that's both an answer to why and how, but there is more to it. I prefer a specific kind of slave, the strugglers. I get bored really really easily if my slave is just "spineless", really submissive from the get go and i feel that he accepts w/e i want to do without fighting back too much.
You sound like a fun dom. Do you work as a dominatrix profesionally? Or do you dom just for pleasure?
I might be interested in being your sub.
both and i'm not interested in meeting anyone online sorry >>977272
>>976572
Bonjour, êtes vous par hasard en Île de France?
>>977290
No problem.
I was just asking because you live in France, and you are the closest young domme I have ever heard off.
>>977272
If you asking for advice on meeting doms and being in a dom relationship, this is exactly how NOT to do it. "I might be interested in being your sub."
It's not Pokémon dude. Just because you're sub doesn't mean a dom just wants to collect you, don't overvalue yourself. Dom women want to be attracted to the men they're with.
To wit:
"Do you live in California? If you do, I have great news for you: I might be interested in being your boyfriend! "
Smgdh
>>977361
Why do you get so mad about it?
I had a Mistress I met in /d/ and we met in a similar way.
>>976987
I appreciate your advice dude and I'm not trying to start an argument but I met a bunch of women and as far as "dominant women" in general, it's a very, very small percentage of women in general. Thus they are difficult to find much like a rare sports car in good condition. From a biology perspective, dominant women only exist because we (men) let them - both outside and inside the bedroom. And as far as "dominance" goes, they don't act like men do. They still expect you to make the first move, pay for them, and pursue them. That's why this whole thing is difficult for me to understand and take in. And again, I'm not trying to argue, I'm just saying what I see in my experience, the experience of my friends, celebrities, etc. A successful woman (in the best shape of her life, hot, and financially stable) might marry down but it's very, very rare.
I have had "bossy" girls pay for my drinks, their share, and plan evenings all by themselves but it's usually just to get my attention focused on them. Once I do that, they go back to being regular women - submissive and clingy and I end up making decisions for them. And they are especially submissive in the bedroom which is the reason why I'm here.
At any rate I'll take your advice and keep looking and probably look up a findom. Maybe I've indeed had the shittiest luck across hundreds of girls. The point you made about 30 hours of work in a 24 hour period was well said. I'll keep that in mind for next time. Thanks.
>>977368
>I had a Mistress I met in /d/
I want to hear the full story of this please.
>>977409
>Maybe I've indeed had the shittiest luck across hundreds of girls
Maybe. From reading this post it sounds like you and I have had drastically different life experiences. Drastically. I'm sure there's a reason, I just don't know what it even might be. Maybe we live in different countries. Maybe we were socialized in different social castes. Maybe it's just coincidence. Maybe it's just a lifetime of experiences that have caused us to see the same world differently. Maybe we just use words differently. If a woman pays for her half of a date and plans dates, I don't see her as "bossy." But I completely gave up on vanilla women over a decade ago (Well, vanilla people in general really). I kinda see vanillas like adults see teenagers. They're in their closed little world, trying to get by, sometimes they're annoying, but for the most part, I don't have to be around them or deal with them so...I mind my own business.
Everyone I'm friends with is in the fetish community, because that's how I choose to live my social life. That probably wouldn't work for everyone, but it works for me, and it has been immensely helpful with dating. My perception is also colored by the fact that I don't date people I barely know, I date people I know a little bit, who are in my social circle, people who I already see at friends' parties and events so I know we have the same interests, enjoy a similar lifestyle. I am pretty out of touch with the vanilla world so there's a bunch vanilla women who aren't in my sample size of humanity. I've just never met them.
>>977409
>they are difficult to find much like a rare sports car in good condition
Maybe for most this is the case. Sorry if I seem flippant, like this should all be easy. It might be like I'm a person who's really into rare sports cars, and I put a lot of time into the hobby, so I forget how rare they are, because I surround myself with follow hobbyists, and thus half the people I know have a rare sports car, some of them have more than one.
The point to take away is that, it's possible for anyone to get really into the hobby of rare sports cars, or kink, or anything else.
>From a biology perspective, dominant women only exist because we (men) let them
I want to be constructive and helpful. I'm as sure as I can be that you will have a better life when you are able to get over that misconception.
See them as humans first. Humans can be dominant, or submissive, or both, or neither. Half-ish of those humans are women.
It's like you said "Almost all women have pierced ears. Women without pierced ears exist because men allow it." See how silly it wounds? Culturally, women are more encouraged to see pierced ears as a normal part of being a woman, but's it's not a fact of biology. But due to large scale society factors, we have a lot of women with pierced ears. Plenty of women without pierced ears exist. Maybe they even have groups, I don't know, I never Googled it.
>>977495
This sounds like a lie to me.
>>961287
>what to expect
Fat ugly NEETs. Come on OP you know it to be true.
