What do you guys do to clean up your jizz? Surely you don't just cum all over your keyboard or monitor or something? How do you stay at the computer while cumming and not make an enormous, pain in the ass mess? In the meantime, I'll post one of my favorite doujins, Broadcast Girlfriend.
Uncut so the jizz pools in a nice little puddle on the top of my hand for easy cleanup. It's a great feature.
>>3804869
Excuse me, what? Your foreskin just catches the semen?
>>3804869
i use a sock before im about to blow my load and then throw it in the washer, rinse, and repeat
>>3804858
I do it in my bed and cum onto my stomach then wipe it with a tissue.
>>3804876
I used to use a sock but the head of my dick is too sensitive for that, as soon as the orgasm starts it's overpowering and almost painful, and pulling it off afterward sucks.
>>3804879
That sounds... less than ideal.
>>3804871
No but it keeps it from flying everywhere.
I jerk off sitting on the toilet and just aim down and cum in the toilet. Take a piece of toilet paper to clean my dick off and flush it all down afterwards. Easy cleanup.
And that's a wrap.
I usually cum inside the toy I use to fap. Go to toydemon dot com. Your wrist and your cock will thank you.
>>3804899
Speaking of which, what are the best onaholes? I don't even know where to start
>>3804858
cum onto belly, use a straight edged plastic thing like an old credit card or ruler to squeegee it off. Pour it down toilet or sink. Toilet paper to wipe off residue from skin and plastic thing.
greatest love story ever told
>>3804897
Thank for this anon.
>>3804905
No problem, like I said it's one of my favorites ever, probably my number one favorite. Great art, great story.
This is insane. Are you all serious? That's waaaay to much mess.
I use several layers of toilet paper. Maybe folded in half three times. Ok, so eight layers. I get it ready before hand and leave it sitting on my desk. When I'm ready to come, I hold it in front of my dick and I come on it. Then I fold it a couple times to contain it and then I flush it.
I usually fap in the bathroom and I shoot my load to the toiler. Use toilet paper to clean up the tip afterwards.
>>3804907
This, if i came on my stomach i would be all sticky and probably hit my face or other objects around me
I learned that nothing can contain projectile cum
>>3804890
this guy gets it
Condoms work fairly well. A bit sticky on the outside from the lube, but gets the job done
Don't use lube. Use coconut oil. Much healthier for your dick.
I cum all over myself and wipe it up with tissue, socks, old underwear, ect.
It doesn't get everything off. You can still smell the cum. However I think this is a sexy smell that adds to my alluring male musk.
>>3804921
hahaha are you serious
>>3804913
You can't feel anything with condoms.
>>3804921
No, you should use shampoo as lube.
Heh heh heh.
>>3804903
maybe that's the point
>>3804883
You must not cum very hard.
i straight up cum in my boxers and let my mom clean it.
>>3804903
Not necessarily, because you should not be aiming your dick at your face. I'm a stomach cummer, and most of my jizz spends its momentum going upwards before it hits my stomach.
I prefer to not bother about catching the jizz because it lets me fully concentrate on going wild with my orgasm.
Do most woman bother catching your juices?
>>3804935
LOL, meant to say THEIR juices.
for real
enourmous pain in the ass mess
i need like 2-3 pieces of toliet paper
fold em over and grab em when im close
ez pz
I cum in my hand and then just wash it off with the lube in my bathroom sink. Feels gud holding onto the head and feeling it hit against the inside of your hand
>>3804940
this guys gets it
>Not just cumming into tissues
What the fuck is wrong with all you plebs.
>>3804948
this
I have a box of tissues in my room. cum into tissue, throw in trash. How difficult can this get.
>>3804858
Jizz into a condom ofc. zero mess, plus penis smells like bananas.
>>3804900
/jp/
I edge then get a long roll of soft toilet paper and mummify my dick but leave open space at the end so it doesn't rub the head. I grip below the head with the toilet paper around and then continue. My load is neatly released in this wad of toilet paper and I simply toss it.
If you actually have the motor control to do anything but cum violently during your orgasm, you don't have good orgasms.
Kitchen tissue/towels are pretty damn good. I usually get two squares and fold them over. Nothing gets through and they are good more multiple uses over days. Smell isn't an issue I've found but after about two weeks max, it needs to go.
Its a good thing I use them as I don't need too many so one roll can last a good while.
>>3804858
I cum on my girlfriend's tits.
>>3805067
Then I just have her lap it up over her tits.
Bathroom trash can. Simple.
>>3804858
I put a rag on my stomach
>>3804858
Tissue. Just cum into a tissue. Sometimes takes two or three
>>3804858
A useful tip I learned is to use an index finger and put pressure to the bottom of your penis, to hold the cum back right after ejaculation.
Then I simply walk over and let it out in the toilet. Zero mess if you do it right, you don't even have to use tissues either.
I kind of close up my foreskin and cum and then I dump it in the toilet. Might seem strange, but it works.
your guys foreskin covers your dick even while erect? sounds like phimosis kek
>>3804879
I don't do it in my bed but on a chair instead. I hope that I don't cum so hard that it ends up on the floor but meh thats what tissues are for.
>>3805104
You're either victim of a joke or trying to make people victim of a joke because that shit can give you a really nasty infection
I just blow into a little plastic bag, like one of those little lunch bags. One hand holds the dick inside the bag and the other hand holds the bag over. No mess and very simple, without the disadvantages of a condom.
I have three rags under my computer desk and I just let my cum fly into them when I fap. Of course they start to smell after a while so I have to replace them after every session.
what the fuck is so hard in using tissues, why do you guys want your own jizz on yourselves, or on your furniture. Even socks/rags is retarded, do you toss that shit in the laundry each time?
The fuck is wrong with you guys
>>3804938
Not unless we get really wet during that particular session, and even then it's usually not so much that much at all actually touches the underwear -it just kind of stays around the labia and just inside. Therefore, you just wipe with some TP and go about your day. At the worst, if you've been there a while and panties are all soaked, you just wipe and change underwear and that's it. Lots of times you can orgasm without getting very wet at all. If you stuck a finger up, you could feel that the inside did moisten, but it doesn't translate to any external wetness.
>>3805148
'Sup dude.
No one's said stealing panties, and cumming into them.
It's fun.
>>3805134
>what the fuck is so hard in using tissues
why would i want to hold something else other than my dick while fapping? that's blue-ballsingly distracting.
laundry is done every three days, and i have enough old and fresh socks to cum into while waiting for that.
You guys know kleenex?
They make these wonderful boxes of tissues that you can literally grab in an istant before you spray your surrender all over the place.
I used surrender because I actually just finished fapping to MGQ.
>>3805177
>literally grab in an istant
that's still an instant i couldve used to please my exploding dick even more.
if you enjoy wasting a precious second of orgasmic goodness by trying to grab something else while fapping, well, good for you.
>>3804858
Believe it or not I can hold my cum. Can anybody else?
>>3805179
Just wrap some qt 3.14 pantsu around your cock and watch your cum dribble through the fabric and down your cock
>>3805179
>Not appreciating the extreme pleasure boost of an orgasm held for a few more seconds.
Enjoy your regular and boring orgasm
I bet you haven't even tried to massage your scrotum with your other hand while cumming. (Add a bit of nails to add some more overdrive)
>>3804935
My panties catch most of it.
I usually go wash myself in the tub afterwards and put a new pair on. Sometime with added panty-liner to catch any late leaks.
The worst is that the smell won't come off my fingers for hours, even after washing multiple times.
>cum on the floor
>anything that gets on my hands I just wipe on my blanket/clothes/sheets
>if I cum on my desk/keyboard, I just wipe it up with the underside of one of my pillows and eventually wipe it down with a disinfectant wipe
Into a tissue like any normal person.
[spoiler]Or into my hand if I'm in the mood to eat it[/spoiler]
>>3805213
>Like a normal person
>Eating your cum
You might want to recheck your last sentence.
>>3805213
The fuck is wrong with you
>>3805217
I don't see anything wrong with his post.
Option 1: Like a normal person. (Tissue)
Option 2: Like a fucking weirdo. (Eat)
I fap under the table, that way you don't have to blueball yourself by being cautious of a mess and the underside of your table is large enough of a target to stop the flying babysyrup.
Enjoyability >>> 8/10 because you are slightly restricting yourself of some positions.
Difficulty to clean >>> 9/10 the cum might leave a stain if you don't bother to clean up.
Difficulty of execution >>> 9/10 you have a table, right?
Bonus features: It's a great technique for fapping in the office.
>>3805275
this nigga rated his faps...
>>3804882
>my dick is too sensitive for that
Must suck, my dick is super sensitive but never painful. Cut but the more wet it gets the better everything feels, to the point that I've literally had 4 orgasms in a row when using a toy. Gotta say though, slightly jelly of foreskin.
>>3804858
I wrap toilet paper over my dick and little bit over. Then I twist the top so it becomes something like a cap for my dick.
>There are people in this thread who actually stop stimulating their penis as they cum.
That's a waste. Keep moving your hand for max pleasure.
I prepare a 2L plastic freezer bag beforehand.
Just roll up them egdes, place on table, enjoy.
No need for hand holding.
Squeeze that sack good.
....*Just usIng tISSUES* ....
If you put your legs above you on the wall and move yourself up there so your back is against the wall you can masturbate upside-down and then just cum in your mouth. I do that all the time, good protein.
>>3804871
i am uncut and have a lot of forskin. i pinch the foreskin when i cum and then walk to the toilet and let it all out.
>>3805391
Pop it in the freezer turn it into ice lollies for all to enjoy.
>>3804925
I do, I don't know what people are talking about burning, maybe my shampoo sucks.
>>3805107
not all foreskin is of the same length, anon.
now, if you are unable to easily pull it back when your dick is erect, then you have issues.
I'd still stick to the toilet paper method.
i am cut (had a really bad phimosis, it was an adult decision)
I take a tissue and cup it in my hand and hold it over my dick, that makes a little pocket for it to collect in. then i just toss it away
I simply prepare a tissue, leaving it in grabbing range.I fap, and when I'm almost cumming, cover my dick with the tissue and close it around the head, firmly keeping it closed with my hand at the base so nothing will leak out. Then I just finish fapping and jizz into the tissue. Then just wipe it clean, most of the cum is in the tissue anyway, throw away, no mess at all.
>>3804935
nah bc there isn't that much of it. just contributes to the layer of junk that's always accumulating on panties.
>>3805148
basically, it doesn't seep out because it's mucus-y.
just stays in there pretty much and...dries?
>>3805148
>>3805192
>>3805579
>masturbating with your panties on
I get it if you're doing in a cheapo pair or if they're stained, but come on. If they're worth salvaging, at least put on a pad or a panty liner so it doesn't get too gross, even if you don't get too wet and wild down there.
>>3805123
Dunno, I did that for a couple years with an ex because she said i didn't need a condom if I could avoid going inside and not make a mess. I'd just firmly pinch onto that specific part of my dick and just transition to a few tissues.
Am I the only one here who drinks their own cum? That's not gay right? I mean, I'm not even into traps and futas so I'm straight even though I drink my own cum right? Please reassure me.
>>3804858
I cum inside my onaholes and wash them out after.
>>3805650
I used to eat my cum when I was younger and didn't know what to do what to do with it, but I don't anymore. I really don't mind the taste the first fap, but if I go more than once it tastes pretty foul.
>>3805650
If it's your own cum and not another man's, there's literally no way it's gay.
I've wanted to try tasting mine for years, but chicken out every time I finish... even CEI videos don't help
>>3804900
Onahole 4.0
Fap on the toilet (great acoustics), cum in the bowl, take a piss and a shit, flush, wash hands.
Would recommend.
>>3804955
There we go. What the fuck is wrong with the rest of you?
Er, why don't ya'll use boxers or similar under garments? They are all soft, can be reused multiple times before washing depending on your power level, won't tear to pieces like tissue, and can be color coded. Plus if for some reason you won't wash, shits like a buck for 10.
>>3805605
Don't give a shit. I'm a gross fuck like that.
Besides, it's not like the vagina isn't constantly leaking mucus shit and staining all panties.
>>3805605
Can't even wear panties without staining them. Vaginas constantly discharge.
>>3805650
how could something you do to yourself possibly be gay? do you want to drink other guys' jizz?
>>3805650
Why would you want reassurence? Your sexuality is your own business. You can do what you want and not give a shit.
>>3804858
cum in underwear
throw in laundry which i do myself
0 fucks given
>>3805704
here's a tip: make ur faps in a situation where you are forced to dispose of your semen by eating it e.g. have a sleepover with a friend, be in the same room, fap under the blanket and eat it fast before you start smelling up the place.
I just wrap my hand around my tip the second I start cumming and make sure to leave some room inside for it. It feels very nice and probably better than any cold anorganic onahole. When finished grab a tissue and done; it's probably become jellylike by then from the warmth. Or play with it/taste it/whatever if that's your thing. No, that's not gay. Not more than touching your own dick. Getting used to it that way will be a huge plus once a girl asks you to kiss her after a bj to test you.
When I'm about to cum I'm just going to the bathroom and doing it there, aiming to the bath. Then just washing it down with water. I'm also using body lotion as a lubricant, feels fantastic and helps to clean your dick afterwards.
>>3805745
This.
>all these people using tissues
With the amount I fap, the expenses add up. That and I have all these damn tissues to keep throwing out.
>>3804858
Either on my stomach and i'll just wipe it off later
or sometimes when i get close i'll do a hand stand and cum on my face
or ill cum in my hands and drink it
>>3805934
>Fapping into a toilet.
How do you dodge your mom on the way to the bathroom? How do you get over the smell of shit and urine? How do you stay aroused while looking at a toilet bowl?
>>3804907
I do this sometimes aswell
>>3806016
is this done facing forwards or backwards? doesn't it hurt to force your boner to point down?
>>3804858
I either cum in my hand and then go wash away all the cum or cum on floor and wipe it.
Put a towel on your chair, when you're about to cum, lift the front part up so you cum on the towel.
>>3806183
I've done it a few times when parents were at home and I just needed to fap badly. You sit like you usually do when taking a dump. As for my dick - no it doesn't really hurt when I point it downwards, althought I wouldn't want to 'stretch' it any further, it probably depends on the angle of erection, which is just personally unique for everyone. Mine is usually a straight horizontal line with a slightly upward curve.
>>3806001
Not the guy you're replying to but I'll take my best guess anyway:
1) You live alone / parents aren't home
2) My bathroom sure as hell doesn't smell like shit and urine. I don't know how you keep your bathroom but damn.
3) He says "When I'm about to cum" which sounds like hes already ready to climax so don't really need to stay aroused for very long.
I fap with the tissue enclosing my penis and cum in it. I thought this is what everyone is doing but it seems I am sole case here.
Because I am a lefty and fapped too much, my penis instead of a simple upward curve, it is now slowly curving the the right side. Now I am trying to fap only using my right hand to stabilize the right curve to a upward curve.
>>3806195
Just fap with a straight grip or a toy.
I jizz onto the floor, i find it leaves the carpet looking clean and as it was before i spilled a bunch of coffee on it.
You get these nice white circles and after a while the area which you fa around becomes a pearly white.
I cum into a nearby container (like a used bowl or glass, or if none are around an empty mint container I leave in the bathroom). Can lightly scrape any excess with the edge of the container or use a tissue.
Then I just wash the containers contents down the sink when I wash my hands.
jesus just use a fucking tissue you inbred faggots
no mess, flush it down the toilet when done. Easy and simple.
I get some paper towel, fold it in half, lay it on my stomach to the base of my cock, ejaculate all over that bitch, put it in the garbage.
I don't understand people when they talk about jizzing in socks, on pants, on stomachs, or in boxers. That shit is so foreign to me, why couldn't you nasty fucks use paper like me.
>>3806327
My dick curves downwards so cumming on my stomach is not really an option for me, just easier if I go in the toilet or fold some napkins and cum in that.
Just let the sperm go everywhere, guys. It's way better than trying to contain it like you're some guilty catholic.
>>3804877
>Don't worry, I'm wearing a condom
why would you lie about that
that's fucked up
>>3806327
last time i tried that the jizz landed above the paper towel anyway i think its much better to put the towel on a desk and point your dick down at it for better control
I use a Black Tenga Flip Hole.
It's clean, kinda loud, and gives some intense orgasms. Just gotta rinse it out afterwards, it's like $60 but god damn is it worth it.
If you're slightly larger than average in girth though it won't fully close. It's made by da japs after all.
Cum into hand, wash it in sink. Hope that shit doesn't get caught in the pipes. Or doesn't leak into the garden which it probably sort of does
To all those cumming in their hand and washing it in the sink...
I call it The Sticky Bandit
sock
I cum on my hand and eat it... it's easy disposal lol
i just get some old nylon shorts and put my dick inbetween the crouch of the pants point towards the waste and fap away, i don't cum so hard that it shoots like a mile away i do get some semen on my hand but i just wipe it off on the pants fold them up then throw them down the side of my bed it does smell after a while but i really don't care while i am fapping, i clean them after the smell like musky cum.
I'm a super scuzzy cunt and I have a dedicated jizz t-shirt. I never wear this t-shirt, I'm not that scuzzy, but what I do do with it, is jizz leave it next to my bed a jizz into it whenever I fap.
Then I just leave it there.
Longest I've left it without washing it has probably been about a month.
>>3804897
>that everything
I pity the dead who can no longer know such joy
You made my week, OP
I just pinch my foreskin and use it like a reservoir tip on a condom, then waddle over to the toilet. my foreskin is hella stretchy though.
>>3805104
That's not good for you. It can fuck up your bladder. Seriously, not joking.
>>3804858
I pinch the head of my dick when I come, go to the toilet and shoot it in there.
>>3805123
[citation needed]
It also feels nice, you can feel the cum flowing and the area is sensitive when cumming.
>>3804858
At home when I want to watch the blast, I spread a slightly used towel over the bed and put it in laundry afterwards. When someone else is home I use my foreskin as a container for the sperm by narrowing the entrance to a point where the skin just folds and closes. Then I dump it in the toilet.
When outside, whether that may be in a train- or public toilet (don't worry. There are self cleaning neat ones in my country) or in nature, I just cum all over stuff.
I just eat my cum, no tissues - no issues.
Cum on a table/on the belly, collect the jizz in my hands and drink it.
It has the added benefit of telling me if I have a really bad diet if it's bitter.
>>3804922
This
>>3805171
Yes it is. I used to have a friend whos mom is a famous model and we were home alone in the big house so me and another guy did this to his mother and sisters panties.
>>3806001
jesus christ. I cannot believe the amount of retard in this thread
>>3804882
this. It gets to the point where its not pleasuring, its just ticklish.
When I am about to come, I can't be touching the head, and I am not even uncircumcised. All those folks who say you lose sensitivity, I can't even imagine how sensitive it might have been before, because its nearly too sensitive now as is.
I use sock though. Needs to be a certain kinda sock, a short ankle sock works best.
>2014
>Not just cumming into your boxers and throwing them in the wash later
>>3804907
Whew, I was starting to think I was the only one to do this.
>>3807457
I just edge, jizz on myself, and then take a shower. It's no big deal, and a good way to unwind at the end of the day.
I made a DIY fleshlite and it feels waaaaay better than using hands. Plus cleaning up is easy. Just need to remove "cling film/ Saran wrap", layer from fleshlite and bin it.
>Seriously giving a shit about making a mess
Just cum everywhere and clean up afterwards, you freaks.
I use my trash can under my desk. Grab the can with one hand, dick with the other.
dude you guys are leaving to much evidence. For me i use my mouth to catch my sperm and then swallow. almost no clean up, no one will know that i masturbated, and saves money on food.
Believe me or not I don't clean my jizz. I cum buckets but it's not like my monitor gets dirty or anything.
>>3805171
I like to have a fun foreplay filled sex session with my wife. Rubbing and what not with her panties on. Then later steal them to sniff and beat off to. Then fill them up. And toss into the laundry. She hasn't figured it out yet
>>3805104
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Retrograde_ejaculation#Myths_and_history
>>3805107
The foreskin isn't supposed to pull back during erection, it's only supposed to be able to. Different people have different lengths of / mechanical function of their foreskin.
>>3807254
>kinda loud
Does it have a sound chip in it or something? Because now I'm imagining some neckbeard jerking into an onahole and the the thing's playing low quality sound clips of moaning girls, or those generic sci fi noises all cheap toy laser guns make
>>3807838
You made me imagine someone fapping with an onahole that plays storm trooper gun sounds. I'm not sure what to think of that...
Shit I usually just open up the window and let the wind carry it away. My neighbour's wall is a mess tho.
I jizz into a cup, take it to the kitchen, clean it then put it in the dishwasher.
>>3805104
You are already dead
Usually cum in a cup which I briefly wash with dish soap afterwards. Can't be bothered to go through extra stuff to catch my jizz with when there's a cup next to the computer I just had something to drink with. If other people in my house use the same cup I always scrub with soap extra hard, and I wait til nobody is in the kitchen to do it.
most of the time i come in my hand.
but sometimes I use a banana peel. you cut a banana in half so that you have two halves about 4 or 5 inches long. Then, cut lengthwise down one side of one of these pieces. Then, gently peel back the banana peel and remove the fruit. this leaves you with a nice, penis shaped sheaf, already lubricated, which you can use 2 fap, as well as to jizz into.
if you really want to be a pro, you can shape the banana peel sheaf to contour along with the head of your penis. You can also try many other shapes with the banana peel. Like cutting off the end of the banana near the stem about 3 inches and using a spoon to scoop out the fruit, leaving you a little cap with the stem as a handle. You can fit this over the tip of your penis and spin it. you can also cut a small triangular hole near the stem to allow for air flow. If you cut this piece a little longer, you can thrust into it with the hole open, then cover the hole with your thumb and pull it off your penis. This creates a suction which makes it feel like you are being sucked.
Tldr, try experimenting with a banana peel. It comes pre lubed, provides a reasonable place 2 ejaculate, and is fairly inexpensive. Granted, you will probably want to wash the fruity lube off your penis after.
try it and enjoy!
I just cum into two stacked kleenex, then use a third to wipe the remnants off my dick. I wrap the first two in the third, then flush it.
When I cum I usually just use a few pieces if cleanex, but if the eruption is too extreme I turn around, lift my beds mattress, and shoot my goo allover the box spring, or if I'm home alone, I grab a long sock and fill it with my cream, however nothing beats freely cumming allover the place.
>>3805196
Sadly this is me. I am fucking disgusting
