>Apply for upper mid-tier CE program out of desperation because I can't stay at home any more
>Skip all lectures, only do mandatory work
>Live more or less like a NEET
>Somehow pass most of my classes with B's although I'm behind on math
>I'm now finishing my second year of this (5 year degree)
Should I keep at it? I enjoy programming at times, but it's not what you'd call a passion. And I think the overexposure of social media, apps and gimmicky shit is eroding the fascination I used to have with computers and technology in general.
Typing this out, I have no idea what I'm doing.
Anyone feel the same?
Am I fucked?
>>54242111
i never give advice on /g/. i usually tel fucker like you just to do meth.
listen to me you fucking kid. you don't go to college to learn, you go to suck dick and lick ass of people that can give you a job in the future.
grades mean shit. your degree means shit.
>>54242461
Forget money, THIS is what define class
My parents did not prepare me for life at all
>>54242111
Yeah, I'm in almost the same boat, except you sound far more proficient. I'm doing a shit tier CS degree at a shit tier uni. Basically signed up to avoid going on unemployment after being on disability for years and doing delivery driving before that.
I like computers, and I like learning in my own way in my own time, but I don't think I'm sufficiently passionate, motivated or clever to pursue a career in programming or sysadmin and I'm getting pretty old now. Even if I do make it through (also in 2nd year with exams looming), I'll be 33 with a shitty degree from a shitty uni with no previous experience.
tl;dr - at this point I'm just resigned to ending up as a bum.
Actually while we're at it when does it become a passion/hobby/something you're genuinely interested in? How do you recognise it?
Like, when I started my CS degree I felt exactly the same, it was a bit of an accident but with time it's really grown on me and I think I'm genuinely enjoying it but I was always a massively apathetic person so I'm not really sure what does enjoying things really feel like.
When people ask what my hobbies are I still honestly tell them that I'm not interested in anything.
>>54243477
Thanks for replying
I'm "only" 23 (lots of high school friends are graduating in medicine, engineering etc. soon) but I'll be damned if I don't feel like 40
I keep thinking this semester I'm either going to commit to this or quit but I never do. I don't exactly engage in self-hatred but I feel completely ineffective in taking charge of my life, it's like a daydream.
I need to seriously shake things up and form some new synapses in my brain or something. Should I travel? Get into hallucinogens?
>>54242111
If you want to be passionate about something, you have either to already be passionate about if for some reason, or knowing that doing it is an important step into doing something that you really deem fundamental.
>>54242111
camus was such a sexy beast
>>54243675
I guess my reasoning was
go to collage -> achieve some financial independence -> figure out what I really want to do -> do it
>>54242111
I feel the exact same. Thank you for this post.
>>54243763
It works, that's sure. But the chance of finishing in an ok relationship with children just because is big.
Everybody has something we think is important, or at least important enough, besides survival. Going towards it involves also refining our understanding of the whats and hows of the goal. Not understanding it so much in the beginning is not so important, if at least a vague direction is there.
>>54242111
>but it's not what you'd call a passion
This "passion" bullshit has been wildly oversold to the current generation of young people.
The vast majority of people will never be "passionate" about their work. Most people will be lucky to find consistent work that's not aggravatingly intolerable.
You should be seeking work that you're competent at. Ideally, work that brings you SATISFACTION.
This "passion" meme is some bullshit spouted by teachers who watched too many movies, and is used by employers to select for people who are easily abused and exploited.
>>54243665
I'm exactly the same as you, though doing a different, actually pointless degree. I feel like nothing is real. I float above it.
>>54243675
>If you want to be passionate about something
Look at this guy over here abusing the word 'passionate'.
Dumbfuck useless bloggers have beaten the word until it simply means, "give the slightest shit about something."
I give the slightest shit about whether or not my work is the least bit competent or satisfactory. Lemme go write in my blog about how lucky I am to get to work with something I'm so passionate about!
Passion isn't something that you choose. Passion is something that you discover. And unless you're arguably an alien creature like Richard Stallman, 'passion' will never accurately describe any feelings you have with regard to technology and/or software.
>>54243857
What is yours?
>>54242111
>CE
>5 year
>upper mid-tier
Budapest?
>>54243819
Fucking this, the whole "follow your dreams" psychosis in terms of career choice will only lead to a generation of failed musicians and shit. Nobody has passion for sewage yet we still need people cleaning our sewers.
>>54243868
Sorry if I'm misusing a word, I'm not an English speaker. But even Stallman, I don't think that is passion comes from technology, it comes from social issues and etc. It's people and relations, and that is something that's easier to relate.
Maybe "caring about something" (that is not survival) may be a better expression.
>>54243665
>>54243857
>tfw not alone
>>54243880
photography
>not networking your ass off in college
You can be a C student and still get an instant job placement just by not being an asocial hikkikomori.
>>54243665
Take psychedelics, smoke pot, move to hawaii and live on the beach. If you don't give a shit about any of this and just want to enjoy life then that's kind of hte way to go.
>>54243933
It's not pointless. Art is about expressing something you want others to see from a certain point of view. Photography has a characteristic of absolute realism, which can always be used to show some specific angles of reality of unreal aspects of reality. It can not be pointless, that's sure.
>>54243921
>Sorry if I'm misusing a word, I'm not an English speaker.
I'm not literally attacking your use of passion/passionate, I'm criticizing the entire movement to emphasize how everyone is supposed to have "passion" for their work. Passion this, passionate that. It's all self-promotion and exploitation.
I hardly ever see a job listing calling for professionalism, ability to get things done, etc. But I see lots of, "looking for a passionate self-starter". So, what, you want me to tongue kiss you in the morning? Because that's what a passionate self-starter does.
>>54244014
thanks for that
OP here
>>54243789
>I feel the exact same. Thank you for this post.
You're welcome. Hang in there.
>>54243819
>>54243868
>>54243908
Well ok, I agree and I acknowledge this. But "giving the slightest shit about something" would be a improvement for me. I feel like very little that I do is beneficial for myself, let alone anyone else.
>>54243894
>Budapest?
No, a Scandinavian country
>>54243935
Yeah, this and barely having any fun are my biggest regrets regarding college so far. Working on it though, I'm involved in the project group arranging the biggest job fair on the tech faculty this year. Resume material + meeting people
>>54243952
It's not about escape, it's about disrupting the behavior that has allowed me to be in this position for so long
>>54244288
>Well ok, I agree and I acknowledge this. But "giving the slightest shit about something" would be a improvement for me. I feel like very little that I do is beneficial for myself, let alone anyone else.
Doesn't matter.+---------------+
| Are you any |
| good at it? |---- no ---> find something else
+---------------+
|
yes
|
v
+---------------+
| Can you |
| tolerate it? |---- no ---> find something else
+---------------+
|
yes
|
v
Congratulations, you found
your career!
Finishing assigned tasks will give you a sense of accomplishment. Doing it enough times will give you a sense of mastery. A sense of accomplishment + a sense of mastery == satisfaction. Satisfaction + time for perspective == happiness.
>>54243630
If it's something you spend your free time on. If it's the only thing you can see yourself studying. If everything else disgusts you.
Maybe "passion" isn't always the best word but it might be the thing most suitable for you.
>>54243665
Yup. Very much feels like a dream. Don't really feel like I'm playing much of a part in life. Listen to a lot of Alan Watts. He makes me feel better. Puts it all into perspective. In the immortal words of Bill Hicks - "enjoy the ride".
>Study CS at pretty good private university
>Internship with one of (FB, MSFT, AMZN, GOOG) this coming summer
Life is good
>>54243665
> Should I travel?
Yes.
> Get into hallucinogens?
No.
You sound depressed.
Incidentally, don't compare yourself to others. That's one of the absolute worst things you can do in life.
