>"hey pal can you make my pc faster?"
>>55075753
"Sure let me install Registry Cleaner™ pro and Turbo™ pc™ cleaner™ ;)"
of course man, that'll make 100$
Grease your rams, its almost free
>>55075753
The worst is that they expect it to be free.
And even worse, they will bitch if you do it for free.
>>55075753
Yeah, but the upfront fee is 29.99 dollars with a value added 10 for labor.
Once I perform a proprietary cleaning for about 89.99 dollars for supplies and speed enhancements, you'll be good to go.
You can also purchase Every Year Faster(tm) insurance from me for 99.99 anually when you purchase your first cleaning.
If you come in twice in a year, the second upfront fee is waived! After your fourth cleaning during a single fiscal period, your fifth is completely free!
never had this problem, they pay me at least a little bit of money when i help them with their computers usually
>install ccleaner and let it scan actively all day and your pc will be faster
God...
>>55075876
My grandad says a little WD40 can fix anything
>>55075850
This. All you really have to do is install a fresh Windows 7 + drivers and maybe a SSD if customer is willing to pay for it (120GB is like $40). Finally install chrome, MPC-HC, set MP3/MP4 files to open with it and you're pretty much set.
I only do this for my brother and friends and they literally drown me on beer in the process.
>>55075753
Put some wheels beneath it. That'll make it a lot faster.
>Sure
>Actually install Arch GNU/Linux
>Leave them at the command line
>Never ask for tech support again
>>55076805
>installing Arch
>not /g/entoo
One job, anon.
>>55076872
Compiling and emeging on an old machine takes too long.
>>55075753
Sure, download/install teamviewer. Tell me your codes, let me diagnose your dextop.
>Ctrl+r (assuming you're not autistic)
>cmd
>root
Sir it looks like your dextop is infected. My one time cleanup starts at $299.99.
Please provide credit card information
>>55075753
>not using baidu pc faster to speed up your pc
>>55077024
hello pajeet
>>55077094
NO SIR YOU ARE DE SKAMMER. WHY YOU CALL?
>>55076003
oy vey
>>55077103
to see if you're legit, obviously.
>>55077157
I am microsoft certified technician sir. Why are you wasting my time. Your dextop is infected. Please provide credit card number, expiration and ccv sir. I will remove infection of your dextop.
>>55075753
> Work in IT
> Family/ colleague asks you to fix their tech shit after work
I have to deal with IT shit all day. I don't want to have to try and fix your shit pile laptop with some outdated Norton Anti Virus.
>>55077242
Please have them download to teamviewer. I will diagnose their dextop and provide premium licenses and warranties. I am microsoft certified technician.
>>55077242
> Outdated Norton Anti Virus.
> Browser link shortcuts all over the desktop
> Pixelated desktop wallaper
> Browser hompage is a fake google
> Touchpad worn to shit
> IE 8 is the default browser
> Loads window popups from pre-installed bloatware
Every. Fucking. Time.
>>55075753
>"hey pal can you make my pc faster?"
>Drop it from a window
>Now it's so fast...
>"sure, that will be 27.50. and i'm not you pal, buddy"
>>55077299
and then they get pissed at you for changing things, like you're magically gonna make shit faster without getting rid of stupid idiotic shit
Sure buddy, just install gentoo with costumized kernel and fine tuned use flags
No, sorry. I don't know the first thing about computers.
>>55075753
>pepe poster
>>55075753
>"hey dude I know you are on computers, can you change my smartphone screen?"
downloadmoreram.com
>>55075753
>"sure"
>install CCleaner
>run cleaner and registry clean
>it's literally the same shit but normie thinks its lightning fast now
>take my money and leave
>people pay our shop to run free programs and do a checkdisk
>>55079300
Don't feel so bad they pay you because they are too stupid to troubleshoot their crap. They'd much rather have someone who knows what they are doing and with the time to do it. Thats why they pay.
If you're gonna make me do tedious work they better pay up.
