Ask a PHP developer anything
Post this entire comic or your mother will die in her sleep tonight.
>>55032139
how many fists can you fit in your butthole?
>>55032160
>this entire comic
Please no
>>55032139
Why?
>>55032267
Money.
>>55032139
Age/education/salary?
>>55032310
24/high school/25k € / month
>>55032371
year*
>>55032139
I started this week as a PHP developer, I know the basics but I'm a little bit nervous about not living up to the expectations, some recommendation? book/tutorial or something to git gud? I want to get into advanced PHP ASAP.
>>55032139
do PHP developers contribute to the quota of employees with disabilities where you work?
>>55032139
Why did masochism put you on the path to learn that abomination of language?
>>55032139
PHP7 is fast, isn't it ?
>php developer
go rot in a ditch and stop propagating this shit garbage
>>55034152
Namaste Rajeesh
>>55032139
Can you post the rest of the comic?
>>55032139
Would you recommend PHP to others? What do you like about PHP and what do you dislike? Are you freelance or do you work for a company?
Post it you fucking pussy.
>>55032371
Where do you live? That's 3rd world salary.
>>55032139
Why is my xdebug code coverage segfaulting with PHP 7.0.7?
>>55038620
>high school, PHP dev
What did you expect?
>>55032139
Who is your favorite Touhou and why is it Flandre?
>>55032139
Are you top or bottom?
>>55032160
No, I'm a PHP programmer.
Ask me anything.
>>55040933
Do you ever wish PHP was Perl?
>>55041083
Not really. Perl is kinda dead these days, it just failed to keep up.
>>55041109
PHP feels a mishmash of C and Perl5, which is why I asked.
Do you ever with PHP was Perl6?
>>55041127
A bit.
I would rather like PHP get some organization and standardization like C# or Java. It should have a standard library... I mean, there's the SPL, but I wish all current functions were encapsulated and aptly named.
E.g. no more array_merge(), but e.g. \SPL\Arrays\Merge().
I quite like it when it differs from Perl, but that's because deep down I'm a C/C++ fanboy.
>>55041127
Another PHP programmer here.
My boos freaking loves perl, but yet can't do shit besides "if" and "eq". Perl sucks ass. I love PHP because you can do shit fast and dirty, even if that is something most people would puke about.
>>55041158
>fast and dirty
You CAN do shit fast and dirty.
But that doesn't mean you can't do shit properly. Picking a nice framework, or a library, combining it with a templating engine, and then using an ACID compliant DB or a NOSQL is really easy to do with PHP, and you'll write fast, solid code.
Haters just don't like that because they'd rather promote their new JS monstrosities.
>>55041155
>>55041158
Do you ever wish PHP had sigils (more than just the basic $) and multiple levels of indirection/dereferencing like Perl5?
Do you cleanly separate your logic from presentation?
Do you ever use PHP for general-purpose scripting, rather than only web development?
And why are the PHP code snippets I find on Stack Overflow so terrible? They're almost as bad as the JavaScript snippets I find on the site.
What are some PHP-only constructs (or "paradigms") found in the language that you wish other languages could adopt?
>>55041275
>Do you ever wish PHP had sigils (more than just the basic $) and multiple levels of indirection/dereferencing like Perl5?
I dunno... PHP is a dynamic language, should it have anything other than $? Shit would become cryptic real fast like Perl...
Multiple levels of indirection? Never actually needed it that much... but why not, even if it gives everyone a possibility to make shit more complicated.
>Do you cleanly separate your logic from presentation?
Hell yeah. Even if you're a noob and you're starting off with a major framework, you'll be MVCed into submission anyway. Inline PHP only for quick & dirty shit.
>Do you ever use PHP for general-purpose scripting, rather than only web development?
Usually scripted cron jobs. For desktop dev I use C# on Windows when I need to conjure up something quickly. Learning Go at the moment to expand my horizons on Linux.
>And why are the PHP code snippets I find on Stack Overflow so terrible? They're almost as bad as the JavaScript snippets I find on the site.
Because most devs don't really have the time to answer all shitty noob-tier questions on Stack Overflow, thus you get shitty answers. Not so with less popular programming languages. Also, in PHP it's sometimes easy to create a shitty hacky solution, and Pajeets for some reason love that shit, which means you'll get tons of upvotes on shitty submissions.
>What are some PHP-only constructs (or "paradigms") found in the language that you wish other languages could adopt?
In-built HEREDOC/NOWDOC syntax, variadic functions, autoloading...
![2babies1foxcover[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/sBdmmdj.jpg "2babies1foxcover[1].jpg")
>>55038620
>25k € / month
>3rd world salary
wut?
>>55041822
>being a poorfag
>not having a pure maths phd
What is it like to be loved?
If you know sessions, validations, form handlings, is that enough to get a job based around php work?
>>55042059
Entry level/intern level? Yeah.
>>55042011
You feel a sense of warmth and contentment in your heart, and feeling alright does not take any effort nor do you need to medicate yourself externally.
Life is pretty great when it's just there and you don't have to be aware of it. You only have to be be aware of what love is if you've been deprived of it.
>>55032139
Why isn't HHVM use more prevalent?
Op, I used to be a pretty prolific php dev. I wrote many large apps totalling several hundred thousand lines of codeigniter. It's been about 5 years now since I was doing that. What are th cool kids doing now? Is it all laravel APIs with angular front ends?
>>55042621
Can you give me the lowdown on the current state of PHP frameworks? I swear every time I check in on the state of that, everyone is always sucking the dick of some new framework of the day.
Can you name a small handful of mostly-timeless frameworks that are good for certain use-cases, if you don't mind? I have no idea what frameworks matter anymore, or if the new $popular_framework is just a meme.
As a PHP developer, do you also have to use JavaScript?
>Node.js
>>55032139
Do you want to be my sugar daddy???
I'm really cute! :3
>>55032139
Are you developing PHP or do you use PHP while developing?
>>55032139
have you consider suicide?
>>55041822
3rd world > 1st world
>>55041275
>Do you ever wish PHP had sigils (more than just the basic $) and multiple levels of indirection/dereferencing like Perl5?
no
>Do you cleanly separate your logic from presentation?
no, except using giant echo blocks
>Do you ever use PHP for general-purpose scripting, rather than only web development?
yes, most of my shellscripts are done in php, I really love it
>And why are the PHP code snippets I find on Stack Overflow so terrible? They're almost as bad as the JavaScript snippets I find on the site.
php lets you do things as I said: quick and dirty. For many, that is enough
>What are some PHP-only constructs (or "paradigms") found in the language that you wish other languages could adopt?
variables being typeless, you can use them like you want
$kek=1 and $kek="1" can both be used as int AND as string at the same time without converting it. this is something I like (but you really have to test and know what you are doing)
Sorry if my post is seen as trolling... It is my opinion and the way I use php and how I want it to be.
AMA threads on an anonymous image board are cancer. At least tripfags, the good ones, can be a good template for newfags on posting quality content. AMA fags are just attention seeking virgins with no redeemable qualities. Instead of waiting for a thread where your PHP knowledge would have been of use (Which would never happen because PHP is shit), you had to make a thread saying "HELLO EVERYONE, I AM HERE, ASK ME SOMETHING, I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A PHP DEVELOPER BUT I AM HERE NOW ... HEELLLLOOOOO????".
go fuck yourself
>>55043206
the answer is yes. You can't suceed in webdev-stuff using just one thing.
>>55044569
>variables being typeless, you can use them like you want
What's not even anywhere close to being a PHP-only feature. Off the top of my head, scripting languages that are typeless are:
>Perl
>Ruby
>Python
>Lua
>JavaScript
>Swift
>Shell scripting
Also, do you really use PHP for general-purpose scripting? How is it?
>>55042554
Not OP, but... With the onset of PHP7, it just makes no more sense to diddle around with HHVM, even though HHVM supports Hack. PHP7 is even faster than HHVM in many scenarios.
Also, HHVM = Facebook... PHP = Open Source Community... who are ya gonna trust more?
>>55042695
Current flavor: Laravel
Timeless: Symfony, Zend, Yii
Honorable mentions: Cake, Code Igniter
Micros: Slim, Silex
>>55043206
What >>55044631 said.
>>55044260
Suicide is always an option, but it won't be determined by choice of language.
>>55044569
Not sure if trolling, or just an idiot... Your code must suck hard donkey balls.
>>55040910
thanks anon
