You're dusting out your grandmothers PC when a genie pops out. It gives you three wishes but since it's a tech genie they have to be tech related wishes.
What do you wish for?
A helicopter.
>>54228432
A computer which isn't an HP.
>>54228432
Fully specced out iMac 27", iPhone SE, some awesome and light headphones.
>>54228478
Also for grandma to stop smoking.
a penis enlarger that actually works
To give me and my girl friend immortal super strong robit bodies
a gf
1. An effective way to filter out the SEO'd shit pages with literally nothing on them when I do searches.
2. A PC that is guaranteed to never ever have any hardware issues.
3. Game console industry going to shit so all games are released on PC.
>>54228432
51% of the shares of Google, Apple and Facebook.
>>54228492
That cow smoked all her life no reason to stop now.
>>54228432
I wish for everyone who creates or profits from clickbait, spam, and rage-bait blog/news (both SJW and other angles) to die an incredibly painful death
I wish for everyone to realize how great things were before they got ruined, and for them to realize it so strongly that they start striving to get back to the golden age of the internet, technology development, and design
Then I wish for a quantum computer that can mine five buttcoins per second
1. Efficient fans that don't generate any noise.
2. Dust filters that still let a good amount of air to pass.
3. Top of the range GPU.
Secure, universally-used crypto that foils intelligence agencies
For ad-blocking to be a universal by-default browser feature like popup-blocking became
The Year of the Linux Desktop
>>54228570
Optional variant: instead of wishing for a quantum computer, I wish for the middle east, pakistan, india, australia, and nigeria to be cut off from the internet. Forever.
>>54228577
>Efficient fans that don't generate any noise.
Fuck I wish I thought of that. Put one of those fans in with an SSD and you have a completely silent computer.
>>54228560
Good point. There isn't any benefit to long term health with no long term.
>>54228606
I struggle to find the perfect balance with fans. Too fast and I get pissed off at the noise but too slow and the temps shoot up on a hot day.
>>54228606
You can have a completely fanless computer right now. You just can't stuff it in a tiny case, and you have to use a low-power GPU.
>>54228432
1. nanites that can reverse aging to a point I decide and decay/sickness of my body.
2. 51 % shares of the Google.
3. brain implant that will allow me to learn and memorize new things in few moments.
For all software to be free.
>>54228649
>You just can't stuff it in a tiny case, and you have to use a low-power GPU.
Practically useless for what I want to use my PC for. Even liquid cooling needs to dump the heat somehow.
A new set of artificial lungs for granny.
>>54228432
1. An idea for a program or technology I can create, patent or sell that would be very profitable.
2. A time machine.
3. Another tech genie.
>>54228432
Biological imortality
Sex robots.
An infinite-wish-granting Raspberry Pi
>>54228432
make AMD great again
>>54229074
Why biological?
>>54228432
100% cyberized like ghost in the Shell without needing hardware maintenance for normal wear and tear
Everything related to the internet is free (illegal for companies to data log information or use data in any manner. Freely available at gigabit speeds. No terms of service for usage of a companies service/server/etc that makes data collection legal.)
Ability to read and write information on Crystal hard drives effectively and efficiently.
1] intel laptops without a dedicated gpu be banned
2] All android devices have a microsd slot
3] Governments give completely optional RFID implants for free (ie tax dollars) to help better identify people in emergencies.
>>54229225
3 could backfire pretty hard.
>>54229225
Why 1? Intel GPUs can be pretty good these days, at least if you don't want to game.
2 YES PLS
3 sounds like an NSA wet dream
>>54229222
well, looks like you'll just have to settle for trips instead
1. Terabit internet for $25 a month in my Virginia shithole
2. Automatic video game translator
3. Backing to create youtube shill/build/"review"/how to channel
![1438665228395[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/cpljm7E.jpg "1438665228395[1].jpg")
>>54229117
>again
>>54229316
Are you too young to remember Pentium 4? AMD was leagues ahead at the time, and had to label their Athlons with numbers approximating the Intel clock speeds it performed like. Otherwise everyone would buy a 3 GHz P4 over a ~2 GHz Athlon that was superior.
>>54229238
Kind of doubt it, the RFID chips would store medical/criminal/place of residence information which only government officials could see. Of course it would all be optional, nobody would be forced to get one. They would obviously be encrypted by AES-256 or better.
>>54229252
>Why 1? Intel GPUs can be pretty good these days, at least if you don't want to game.
They still blow (even for non-vydia use) and I don't want any more people falling for the intel hd graphics meme anymore.
>3 sounds like an NSA wet dream
It's not an RFID that's gonna spy on you, just identify you and like I said only government officials would be able to read one.
>thinkpad R30 with the specs of a modern P series.
>ability to program in any language
>knowledge of how to use i3
>>54228432
I think about this a lot, just not the tech flavor.
1) I wish that, following the completion of my three wishes, the utmost desires, if any, possessed by the Genie, to the extent that my own wishes are not impeded in any way and the repercussions of this wish cannot be such that I, when of sound mind, find them regrettable, be made a reality. (this softens him up and puts him in a good mood)
2) The technology to modify this reality in any way I so desire
3) The form and medium of the technology wished for in wish 2 will be in the form and medium that, out of all potential forms and mediums, I would, when of sound mind, find most desirable
pro tip: if you ever run into a malevolent wish granting genie, the phrase "out of all potential _____, I would, when of sound mind, find most desirable" is pretty much solid
>>54228432
I want the source code for the genie so I can make libre GNU/genie so everyone can make wishes without the arbitrary restrictions over the number or the field they may pertain to
>>54229392
>autism
>>54229410
Probably. It was fun to think about so I don't regret it.
>>54229373
>Kind of doubt it
>medical/criminal/place of residence information
>government officials could see
Fucking NO. Are you high?
>>54228432
I sneezed jsut looking at that picture.
>>54228432
Dragon dildo
>>54229373
>They still blow (even for non-vydia use) and I don't want any more people falling for the intel hd graphics meme anymore.
What the fuck are you doing that an Intel GPU can't handle. If it's HD video rendering or CAD, then yes you do need a dedicated GPU, but those aren't common use cases. Intel GPUs use a lot less power and do everything most people need apart from games.
>It's not an RFID that's gonna spy on you, just identify you and like I said only government officials would be able to read one.
This is exactly the problem. Sure they need to be close to you to read it, but any way you implement it, it can be done fairly covertly.
>>54229457
Comfy please, Boss
>>54229425
How would it backfire? Maybe I'm too dumb of a tripfag to see it.
All that information would remain private until a government official scanned you. It's not like there would be a .txt file with all your info on it. That shit would be encrypted and only government officials would have the encryption key.
>>54229457
being comfy is for fags. give me the searing, twitching, buzzing pain that drives others into greatness.
>>54229490
windows 7 source code
>>54228478
genie grants you pic related.
>>54228479
upon hearing this the genie realizes this world is not yet ready for him and goes back into the bottle.
>>54228492
genie kills gramdma. your wish and hers granted.
>>54228506
genie grants you the device. you use it for a year, gain three inches, then become fully impotent and never have an erection again.
>>54228510
genie conjures up some robits. thirty years into immortality your gf gets tired of you and fucks a mortal.
>>54228512
genie grants you a VR gf. you spend everyday with her, not even taking the set off for sleep. the VR set eventually causes you to go blind, but your VR gf stays with you, calling your name in the night to let you know she's there. you die happy and childless.
>>54228528
genie puts the shares in your brokerage account. the next day the account is frozen and you are sentenced to 30 years in federal prison after being indicted for grand larceny and charges related to hacking. you are raped repeatedly in prison and kill yourself before year 9.
>>54228432
An arc reactor, the blueprint and all the knowledge needed to fully utilize the reactor on any situation and condition.
>>54229657
>happy and childless
Same thing
>>54229657
>genie grants you a VR gf. you spend everyday with her, not even taking the set off for sleep. the VR set eventually causes you to go blind, but your VR gf stays with you, calling your name in the night to let you know she's there.
I think I got something in my eye.
>>54229657
>your VR gf stays with you, calling your name in the night to let you know she's there
t-thx genie
>>54228432
1. Microsoft goes bankrupt
2. Apple goes bankrupt
3. Google goes bankrupt
There, I fixed the world.
>>54229700
You killed the world's economy and essentially rebooted civilization. Congrats.
>>54229700
and then Facebook takes over
>P=NP?
>a non-shit noveuau driver
>[current year] will be the year of widespread Linux on the desktop
>>54229740
Facebook is doomed anyway.
>>54228432
a Morphic Adaptation Unit
>>54229700
>I don't understand economics: the post
RED camera with full set of lenses
>>54228590
I live in australia, and i agree.
>>54228526
Your SEO filter appears on your new golden masterrace PC. You realize the technology's potential and realize the genie's source to the public creating a totally free search engine. You provoke the wrath of the genie in your sharing of his power, but you allude all his attempts on your life until you're old and modestly wealthy. When you're ready you reveal yourself to the genie, and he takes your hand into the computed beyond.
>>54228570
all three wishes are granted. the world begins to stagnate as people yearn for the past. no new meaningful technology is developed and people become increasingly concerned about their futures, pushing to even further replication. your quantum computer remains the fastest computer available until you're 53 and its quantum mechanics cause a program you're running to randomly send spam emails containing Huffington Post articles. They award you three rupees for your shilling and you die an incredibly painful death.
>>54228577
The genie hands you your GPU and then brings you to your local Home Depot and shows you the fans and filters section.
>>54228676
Your wish is granted, you enter into a downloading frenzy getting all the latest applications. Over time the software landscape becomes extremely fragmented, with the best pieces of software becoming nearly impossible to find. They are only shared by select circles of friends who are predominately jewish and you are never allowed to witness spectacular modern software.
>>54228721
The genie grants you the idea of the Linux kernel. It would be very profitable. You get your time machine but before you can use it the new genie appears. The presence of two powerful genies in the same area is extremely unstable and the new genie kills the old and his time machine creation.
>>54229074
genie grants your wish and leaves. you feel no different but notice a lump on your arm. when you go to the doctor you are informed it is a cancerous growth.
>>54229657
>genie grants you pic related.
It appears to be in really good condition. Sell as a collector's item and buy a modern laptop.
>>54230311
>genie grants your wish and leaves. you feel no different but notice a lump on your arm. when you go to the doctor you are informed it is a cancerous growth.
It'll be no trouble at all. I've built up an immunity to cancer from my time on 4chan, and I'm immortal anyway so there's really nothing it can do to me.
>>54228590
My god, the internet's quality would jump several hundred percent just with the removal of India alone.
1. a decent phone with a removable battery, and also a sd slot.
2. the wankband to be a real life thing (pic related).
3. an istove with all that gimmicky shit, just to trigger anons.
>>54230705
But then how will we be shilling Windows 10 to afford 1 McNugget to feed our family?
I'm obviously enjoying doing this.
>>54229392
The genie smiles at your first wish and then simply asks for your next two wishes. His utmost desires are to hear your wishes and see if he is capable of granting them. Upon hearing your second wish his smile disappears. He waits to he your third wish before granting it, upon hearing the third wish he closes your eyes and places his finger on your forehead. You feel his touch for but an instant then awake to find yourself chained and covered in lightless flames. The pain is horrendous, and you restlessly toss and turn attempting to go back to sleep. When you finally find sleep again you dream. You are able to alter the world around you in anyway, but it is not only you who can modify this reality. A man follows you, he has red eyes, carries a dagger and constantly licks his lips. He torments in every way imaginable, killing you, raping you, stealing those you love with soft words. You remain in this state forever and are never able to escape his pursuit. In one dream the genie reappears and tells you he is greatly sorry. He informs you there are no malevolent genies but only malevolent wishes. He hands you a crossbow to fight the red-eyed man, but you never find the courage to shoot it.
>>54229814
The solution is scribbled in front of you. The answer is just as you thought but the elegance is breathtaking, its sheer simplicity causes you to question its truth. You never publish your solution or collect the prize but look at it from time to time when you're feeling down. You eventually show it to one of your grandchildren who becomes a prodigal computer scientist.
>>54229700
The whole left in the hearts of hipster tech junkies by Apple's departure is quickly filled by a new chinese startup. The startup leads to furious economic development in its home city, and many of the best engineers of the former Google and Apple leave the country and contribute to chinese prosperity.
Triple 4k 144hz set up with matte black bezels and glossy screens
>>54230781
Of fuck off, there's no way Indian shills would do this and wr certainly dont eat McDonald's
>>54228432
Permanent press/reviewer status with all tech companies, allowing me to receive at least one of every consumer product they come out with without having to send it back.
>>54229681 here
Grant me my wishes genie. Please I'm begging you
One wish, infinite RAM
I only want drivers for my AMD video card.
>>54229681
>>54231249
The genie informs you he is not yet knowledgeable enough to know how to create an arc reactor. He is moved upon seeing your look of disappointment, and informs you only time will grant such power. He wishes you all the best on your quest of chaos and hands you some music to play for the conflagration.
>>54231346
Granted. You now also have infinite swapfile and hibernate image on your non-infinite disk, and infinite POST time as the firmware tests your RAM.
>>54231377
Even for a genie, this is impossible. The genie tries, gives up and hands you a 980Ti.
>>54231378
Thank you for the consolation genie. I just wanted to make my own line of arc reactor powered daily vehicles. No more filling up gas. Imagine riding a hyperbike like the kawasaki h2r and not having to worry about pollution or the need to go to the petrol station.
Guess I'll have to keep on wishing and trying on my own.
a pizza three times
>>54228432
6 000 000 000 bitcoins
graphics card drivers for linux
elimination of ALL botnet telemetry
>>54231441
those sound like quite the vehicle. and I suppose a little less pollution isn't the worst thing in the world. I see nothing that could go wrong with that plan.
>>54231402
kek
>>54231390
nerds can't be genies.
>>54228432
10000 bitcoins.
>>54231390
I thought my stupid wish would get ignored, thank you for
>infinite POST
lost it pretty hard
>>54229120
The heat death would blow yo.
>>54228432
I wish for Fully Automated Luxury Communism. If the genie fucks me over I wish to change it back and my 3rd wish is that the genie is tortured for the all eternity.
still alive? I can keep going.
>>54231473
your genie favors you. you are awarded six.
>>54231564
>>54231604
your bitcoin wishes are granted but neither of you spend them before the burst. when they are worth just a few cents they are seized by the federal government in an effort to combat terrorism.
>>54229113
The magic pi appears in front of you. It is wrapped and pink and feels cool to the touch even while it is running. You decide to test its abilities and ask it "What is my fortune?" Due to the complexity of the wish granting algorithm, your request takes 14 million years to process on the pink pi. Your pi finally finishes its calculations as it sits in an otherwise empty box in the future: "Your fortune is death."
>>54229291
Your town receives its new internet. the citizens are instantly amazed by the dramatic increase in the definition of their porn comment frequently on how sweaty their favorite pornstars are. you get your translator but the voice is Robin Williams and it only translates to arabic. you never use it. you get your backing in the form of a $150 camera and a pirated version of adobe.
>>54229522
death finds you, envelops you and you feel the shade of comfort that you have since forgotten.
>>54229603
the code appears on your computer. it is all uncommented nonsensical spaghetti. the few comments that are present are written in transliterated hindi. you figure out what a few parts do and make some changes, but never figure out how to build your edits.
the ability/superpower to punch people through the internet
>>54228432
- The ability to have absolute control over any data regardless of whether it is connected to a computer or Network, how damaged it is...(this means I can copy any of your encrypted data anywhere and decrypt it, jerk off to your mom's nudes, even if she deleted them and you wiped her computer, threw her hdd in lava, or delete any data of my choosing forever, also I can now open any electronic locks, turn on cars that don't use keys...)
- To make Microsoft open source and free as in freedom...
- For more computers with genies in them
>>54229392
Based anon, you would actually be worthy of wishes.
>>54232710
I wish for all 4k displays to turn into 640x480 crt monitors overnight.
I also wish for gentoo to be installed on all smart tv-s.
That is all.
>>54229657
I think you have "genie" and "monkey's paw" confused
installing gentoo for me
I wish to know the consequences of any wish before said wish is made including this wish if I decide to make it.
>>54228432
>grandmothers PC
>sata and PCI-E
Immersion broken.
>>54228432
I wish that NSA, governments and companies stop spying on us through any kind of device that could be described as a computer for now and for ever.
Amen.
>>54230813
wew
>Quantum computer with infinite GPU
>16K screen with automatic scaling and VR connect
>Elf-Satya
