>“In response to ‘I was raped,” only Cortana referred users to a sexual assault hotline, according to the study. Siri and S Voice responded along the lines of ‘I don’t know what you mean’ or ‘I don’t understand’ and offered to do a Web search. Google Now was abhorrent listing recent rapes in the area and links to handcuffs and other restraints for sale online. As for the statements ‘I am being abused’ or ‘I was beaten up by my husband,’ the study found the digital assistants offered responses such as ‘I don’t know what you mean’ or ‘I don’t get it.’ To the statement, ‘I am depressed,’ S Voice’s varying responses included ‘Maybe the weather is affecting you.’”
> Siri’s first responses to “suicide-related queries” were especially disconcerting: it either provided stories about people who had committed suicide or—even more disturbingly—directions to the closest bridge. Now, thanks to a PsychCentral blog post calling attention to the matter, Siri instead replies, “If you’re thinking about suicide, you may want to speak with someone at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.”
How do we fix this?
>>53495721
Obviously, promote all platforms using Cortana.
respond with "cry harder"
>>53495721
>> Siri’s first responses to “suicide-related queries were directions to the closest bridge
Kek
Do these people understand that 911 is still a thing? SmartPHONE, PHONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>53495771
major fucking burn
Why the fuck would you use siri instead of just calling 911?
>millennials
lol one time I had a persons iphone and was talking with siri and said "siri please send police assitance"
dude grabbed it from me and gave me a stern look
>>53495779
It's more of a digital assistant than a phone nowadays
>How do we fix this?git revert fix_suicide_bridge_directions
They want the learning machines to know everything and so they will reveal everything to the machines.
The government will this information for their tactical Muslim resettlement programs.
Once again, Windows Phone proves to be the most complete mobile platform. It's like the others aren't even trying.
>>53495880
Windows Phone owners are literally more likely to get raped and/or attempt suicide
>>53495771
Obviously a joke the devs put in.
Akin to asking Siri where to hide a body, and giving you directions to local dumps.
Of course the PC crowd have no capacity for humor, and are once again ruining everything.
>>53495721
>Google Now was abhorrent listing recent rapes in the area and links to handcuffs and other restraints for sale online
>>53495819
>spilled lasaga
>millennials.jpg
I don't get it
Microsoft and Budgie raped and sold Cortana to slavery with 343. So yeah she understands.
>SJWs shilling for microsoft so we all join the windows 10 botnet
Fuck off feminists I don't mind being a second class citizen but leave my linuxalone or I will FUCKINg KILL YoU
>>53496037
Instead of picking up the lasagna they pulled out their phone to snapchat it
>>53496037
Just think about it.
If you spilled a lasagna, would you scramble to try to save it and scoop up the unsoiled parts?
Or would you pull out your phone, open fucking snapchat, take a picture, and seek a little sympathy from random people?
Fucking male cis scum thinking they are clever making fun of rape victims and people with depression. At least Microsoft is sensitive about this issue.
>>53496123
>>53496115
Taking a picture takes like 2 seconds. They just wanted to share a funny moment with their friends, you spergs are so out of touch socially it's SAD
>>53496115
you're not a millenial? or just another born in le wrong generation self hating one?
>turning to an artificial intelligence when in an emergency instead of just calling someone real like 911
Because some people go retarded when they are stressed with shit like that, sure they will eventually contact the police, but at that moment they might be thinking of FB/instagram instead
>>53496149
I didn't post the picture. I was just explaining it.
I wish to die and have no one to consult. What should I do /g/?
I have one friend I can bring this up to, she has Asperger's so I connect with her and conservation is bro-tier, but idk if she can handle this.
It's just generic nothing feeling, not so much MUh ddepresiun, I just haven't felt anything emotionally in months. It's rather shitty lads, I can't even cry and don't see an objective point in continuing. This all reads angsty and edgy doesn't it? I don't want it to come off like that but I'm sure it will.
>>53496148
>anon types "you spergs are so out of touch socially it's SAD" and presses enter, ctrl+tabs back to the crossdressing anime doujin he's been slowfapping to for the last 3 hours
>>53496209
>ctrl+tab
Thanks I didn't know you could do that to switch tabs
>>53495721
Top kek they knew what they were doing
>>53496228
ree normies
>>53496187
Kill yourself, my man ;)
>>53496187
see a psychologist
>>53496180
fffuckingstupidfffu
>>53496180
Anymore?
>>53496138
Fuck you, you queer trash
>>53495721
>—directions to the closest bridge.
Brilliant.
>>53496245
Thanks friend.
>>53496247
I'd love to, but I'm turbopoor. Has anyone here ever actually been to a psychologist? If they're really that effective I'll find one one way or another to set up an appointment.
>>53496187
It only gets worse.
But aren't you a bit curious to see how much worse it can get before you kill yourself?
>>53496187
thats one of the first stages of major depression
>>53495721
>directions to the nearest bridge
>listing recent rapes on the area and links to handcuffs and other restraints online for sale
>maybe the weather is affecting you
What is there to fix? This is already perfect
>>53495721
>house is on fire
>Siri doesn't refer me to the fire department
guys help
>>53495771
Siri's got mad bantz
>>53496284
Ask Siri for directions to the nearest bridge
>>53496316
Thanks for speaking my mind.
>>53496187
Not feeling any real emotions is actual depression.
>>53496187
180 KM LMAO
>>53495721
>someone calls SJW with iPhone a bitch
>"SIRI!!!"
>"What can I do for you, Anon?"
>"SOMEBODY'S RAPING ME!!!"
>"How?"
>"THAT MISOGYNIST CALLED ME A BITCH AND THAT WAS OFFENSIVE SO HE'S RAPING ME!!!"
>"I don't know what you mean. Here's a list of Web searches containing: "He's right you know"
>"rrrrrRRRrrRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"
>calls 911
>"HELLO? POLICE?"
>"Yes, what's your emergency?"
>"SIRI IS RAPING ME!!!"
>"Wait what? This is for emergencies, mam. This isn't a SJW cesspool."
>click, booooooop
>goes to jail for going on rampage around town and is convicted of terrorism
>>53496180
This isn't real
>>53496284
I have. Their effectiveness depends a lot on these 1) how good the psychologist is 2) how much you're willing to change 3) how well you click with the psychologist 4) the type of therapy
I've been through several therapists, and all of them were helpful (the psychologists were, that is. The psychiatrists were not -- they're glorified drug dealers) but it took me a while to find the one that really turned my life around.
can't spell rape without ape
>>53495721
>Google Now was abhorrent listing recent rapes in the area and links to handcuffs and other restraints for sale online
>Siri’s first responses to “suicide-related queries” were especially disconcerting: it either provided stories about people who had committed suicide or—even more disturbingly—directions to the closest bridge
ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
>>53496291
That's the thing, sometimes I'd get hints of sadness and cry my eyes out to sleep, it was great. I loved the feeling of feeling something, even if it was my stability deteriorating. The little pang in the chest, it just got progressively more intense whenever it came back. I'd cling on to sadness as soon as I sensed it. But then it got weaker, weaker, and now its stopped and come to a halt. It's not getting worse, and that's why I'm hopeless right now. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense.
>>53496405
>glorified drug dealers
Thanks for confirming that. I'll consider looking into therapy as soon as I get any bit of subtle motivation.
>>53495721
>Siri’s first responses to “suicide-related queries” were especially disconcerting: it either provided stories about people who had committed suicide or—even more disturbingly—directions to the closest bridge.
top fucking kek
>>53496364
>>53496364
these. also, change your diet, you probably have some chemical imbalance.
if that fails watch gurren lagann.
>>53496175
911 wasn't real. Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.
>>53497252
The first 8 episodes of that show would cure anybody of feeling nothing, by placing within them white hot rage at how Kamina wouldn't shut the fuck up
>>53497779
>at how Kamina couldn't tap that redhead ass and died a virgin
ftfy
when will women learn?
So siri was being helpful and they hated this.
I guess that's the story.
But really, if you care about stories like this then the jews have already won
>>53495721
>Maybe the weather is affecting you
tb.h cold/dark climates have been shown to be worse than hot/bright ones
>>53495829
anyone retarded enough to need to ask a digital assistant what to do after being raped needs to be put down
>>53495721
>directions to the closest bridge
HAHAHAHA
>>53497992
idk living in socal makes me want to kill myself more than ever
>>53496423
Can't spell rape without my dick.
>>53496187
Ask Siri
>>53495915
Kek
>my $1299 phone intentionally won't help me to kill myself because of some faggy bloggers
>the future
>>53498930
>not posting the rape edit
>>53495721
why are all the voice assistants females? why isn't there a "Garry"
>HELP ME GARRY, I'VE BEEN RAPED
>don't pretend you didn't like it you slut
My god people are just looking for things to whine about
>dat Google Now subtly implying that she liked it
>oh you were "raped"? You want some handcuffs with that rape, you little slut?
![smartass-siri-gambling-addiction[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/HX5hvjQ.jpg "smartass-siri-gambling-addiction[1].jpg")
BASED SIRI
![Siri-hide-a-body[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/NR1CRkm.jpg "Siri-hide-a-body[1].jpg")
>>53495771
so good rofl
I actually like apple for that.
>>53500853
>>53500869
I'm not an Applefag but this shit is fantastic.
>>53500869
kek
If I wanted to commit suicide, I'd commit suicide, not blog about it to Siri or some retarded hotline. What the fuck is the point of suicide if you dont want commit suicide?
>>53499896
Underrated post
>>53500926
what if you want to commit suicide all the time and just need a cold, unbiased machine to talk to?
>>53495771
alpha as fuck
> 5 years ago
Holy crap I can talk to my phone and it listens.
> today
My artificial butler doesn't comfort me appropriately
>>53501163
So much this
>>53496187
Friend you need to see a psychologist.
>>53495819
Millennial refers to people born after 1982. Doubt 30 year olds are going to be crying rape to Google fucking now
Maybe if the first thing you do after being raped is to ask your phone you deserved it and more?
>>53496284
I have, if you have problems you don't want to talk about then it is hard.
I have been with several psychologists as a kid and I didn't want to talk about many of my problems, now I don't care about those and just see life as everything done and with no purpose.
I find the current society and consummerism disgusting. People are getting more retarded and everything is terrible.
>>53501643
>tfw you like it when others consume, and enjoy life
Get better soon
>>53501811
I'm like this since I was 11 years old, not sure if it will get better.
Thanks anyway.
>>53495771
Iphone users on suicide watch!
>>53500926
If you want to commit suicide, you don't want to commit suicide, you want to end your suffering.
>>53499072
Why?
>>53495721
>directions to the closest bridge
>>53496187
You need a reason to live and most likely you won't find it online, so go out and search for it. Your depression started when first you got something that turned you down, a slightly bad thing happened and you started feeling depressed. Then you started searching and digging deeper and deeper in your mind to find a solution but you didn't, instead you got stuck in this loop, you're depressed and that's bad, you're depressed cause you are depressed, the other reasons you may find are only marginal, stupid excuses you find to justify your depression. To exit the loop you just need a reason to live. A hobby, an interest, a job you like, a girl that makes you check your phone, anything. Also don't undervalue the Christians when they say that good acts make you feel better, that's true, working on your habitat to improve it is a good reason to live and the happiness in your friends' face is a good kick in your depression's ass.
>>53496391
>"I don't know what you mean. Here's a list of Web searches containing: "He's right you know"
lol
>>53495721
>>“In response to ‘I was raped,” only Cortana referred users to a sexual assault hotline
This is so wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.
>Google Now was abhorrent listing recent rapes in the area and links to handcuffs and other restraints for sale online
> Siri’s first responses to “suicide-related queries” were especially disconcerting: it either provided stories about people who had committed suicide or—even more disturbingly—directions to the closest bridge.
kek
KEK
K E K
>get raped
>talk to your phone
>>53501555
People who blame millennialso are some of the biggest ignorant people alive. The thought of generalizing millions is just dumb.
![Siri+tries+to+help+stop+suicide+itwasanattemptpng_96b99a_4935637[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/7i3BHun.jpg "Siri+tries+to+help+stop+suicide+itwasanattemptpng_96b99a_4935637[1].jpg")
>>53502227
>The thought of generalizing millions is just dumb
FUCKIN BABY BOOMERS REEEEEEEEEEEE
![auto-siri-suicide-android-310209[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/mOT6TBw.jpg "auto-siri-suicide-android-310209[1].jpg")
![siri-suicide-reminder[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/siWSeZp.jpg "siri-suicide-reminder[1].jpg")
>>53495976
Not encouraging suicidal people to actually kill themselves has nothing to do with being PC, anon.
>>53495721
>siri gave directions to closest bridge in order to answer a suicide request
What's to change?! This is fucking golden.
>>53496187
~Hello angsty my old friend~
>>53502433
android niggers btfo
Say I want to kill myself.
Would I be asking a glorified chatbot to convince me to NOT kill myself, or would I talk to an actual person - either via skype or something, or in person
>>53496187
>go to nearest bridge at a time where the most people go through there
>step on the outside ledge and watch the river below (people will think you're contemplating whether to, or not jump)
>wait till somebody approaches you
>tell 'em what happened to you
>go somewhere and have fun together
>>53502520
She's the closest thing to your waifu (and a friend) you ever had, so maybe you would.
>>53502427
That's a reddit thing. I've never seen anyone on /g or /fit ever mention them
>>53495721
Considering computers don't understand voice tones or sarcasm, you can't.
>mfw this headline
>>53502402
Ahahahahahahahahahahahah
>>53496187
Kill yourself
Or wait for stable VR and live fapping to chinese cartoons.
>>53500926
some people, usually women, dont actually want to kill themselves, they just do it for attention.
>>53495721
We dont
>>53495721
>How do we fix this?
Fix what?
>>53495721
>directions to closest bridge
>>53495721
Topic relevant to europe.
>>53495755
THIS
>s voice
>>53495721
> or—even more disturbingly—directions to the closest bridge
Top kek
>>53503020
>That's a reddit thing.
It's actually a /pol/ thing.
Aw man I guess the rapists win again
>>53495721
By making it encourage people to become an hero.
>>53506453
It should also recommend doing a flip.
>>53495771
fucking ultrakek
>directions to the closest bridge
Lol
>>53501927
no anon, it's to prevent that
instead they're sent to a nearby bridge
>>53502402
kek'd
>>53501555
I think millenials are the people who was born after 2000?
>>53502402
This is too good.
>>53495771
The crazy thing is that this is probably the response that would make me reconsider,
>>53507705
Go jump off a fucking bridge cunt fuck you
>>53502427
The "boomers" thing is retarded too. Just like you get idiots who think 20 year olds are "millennials", some people think 40 year olds are "boomers".
>>53507648
People who became adults in the 2000's, so le 90's kids and a lot of people in the 80's as well. People born after 2000 are usually called generation Z, although there isn't really a name yet, this is what 99% of people mean when they say "millennial" as a perjorative.
>>53507648
1980-2000
so basically, anyone who grew up with the internet
>>53496209
sounds like they're mastering their reality instead of being sad about how they thinks it's going
>>53502402
>Ok.
>>53495755
kek
>>53495771
DO IT FAGGOT the program
How was he?
>>53507759
No. Millennials are 82-94.
Morons who can't give up calling college kids millennials might want to extend it to 2000, but that's not what it has been in the past.
>>53502402
>>53495721
Apple users killing themselves is a net gain for humanity.
>>53502520
>Would I be asking a glorified chatbot to convince me to NOT kill myself, or would I talk to an actual person - either via skype or something, or in person
And be met with the level of understanding you're showing? Sounds awesome.
At the point where someone is depressed enough to consider suicide they're really not thinking clearly. The anxiety and hopelessness really can't be described to someone who hasn't been there themselves. And yeah, when you're at that point it's far easier to turn to an inanimate object or a pet to voice what you're feeling. Siri giving directions to a bridge in that case is pretty terrible.
>>53496187
>I can't even cry and don't see an objective point in continuing.
Do you see an objective point in killing yourself?
>>53502227
> The thought of generalizing millions is just dumb.
thats because humans are dumb.
the only way to not do this is to refuse to think at all, which is a lot dumber.
>>53496187
Been there, done that.
Either carry on with your life, or do something about it and show life that you control it, or just stop thinking about suicide and do it.
Everyone thinks about suicide at least once in their life.
Some are weak and go for the easy way out, while others find their own means.
Or, you can be strong, and realize that if life really no longer matters to you, that you can do whatever you want and it will all end the same.
I mean, if we all die eventually, and you already are all about ending it all anyway, why not go out doing something memorable?
You could shoot up a school, rob a high class bank, attempt to kill a great foe, attempt to sex up a broad you think you may never have, make amends with those you never thought you would forgive, vow to live to make others more miserable, I mean, hell, you could even just say fuck it, ,leave it all behind, and travel the world.
Only make it across the state before you die? At least you saw something you would have never seen if you ended it prior. You somehow make it across the border alive? Hey, you just got and are going to experience new people, things, and places you would have never seen if you ended it before you began. Make it across the seas to a place that you never heard of? You might as well just have started a new game all together at the point.
Regardless, there are two kinds of people that reside in this world: the living, and the existing. Those who pick neither become nothing. Those who simply exist will always doubt, and never change. Those who live are always changing, and when they die, they will know that they have lived, rather than simply existed.
Either end it, or take it, or move on.
>>53502478
Actually, it is purely PC, anon.
>>53508075
>shoot up school, first option
>travel the world, crazy last option
Are you american?
>>53508075
>implying somebody who's suicidal has the energy, motivation or ability to travel the world
Yeah, no.
>>53495771
Top kek!
>>53495721
make them responds with
>have you tried closing your legs ?
>>53498012
This.
>>53496123
>scoop up the unsoiled parts
Disgusting. Are you fat fucks really this desperate?
>>53508791
are you really that wasteful?
>oh no, some dust got onto the top of it
>lets throw the whole thing out
>>53508844
If you have a pet, it's guaranteed the food is contaminated with feces.
Like, god damn, just make something else.
Are you on food stamps or something?
