Tech illiteracy thread. I'll start:
>Cousin says he needs a new gaymen PC on a limited budget
>I tell him to build one
>Says he doesn't know how
>Tell him I will do it for free
>I give him a link with a bunch of wonderful parts
>Says he bought all the parts
>I tell him bring them to me for the Christmas party
>A few days pass and it's Christmas day
>I answer my door
>It's him and his parents holding his new laptop
>I ask him where are the computer parts
>He says he returned them and bought a laptop instead
>Claims he got a deal for only $300
>facepalm.exe
>Ask him specs of laptop
>Shows me on bestbuy.com
>Fucking pentium with upgraded 16gb ram
>He wanted to play CS:GO
>He got lower frames than his old PC
>-_-.jpg
Oh boy one of these threads, can't wait to hear about the shenanigans you were all faced with recently.
>>52206002
"It's those games the kids play making the computer slow"
*proceeds to remove programs, registry entries, and toolbars;all of which they agreed to install*
>>52206039
User couldn't login to wifi at work, deleted the old profile, readded it, worked fine.
An hour or so later she ran over to my cubicle complaining that since I fixed her wifi Word won't stop crashing and that I had to undo whatever I did to fix it.
Told her that's not how computers work.
>>52206002
You broke the cardinal rule of tech support: Never do it for free. Even if it's just a token amount, payment triggers parts of people's brains associated with quality.
>>52206196
That's actually really helpful. Will think twice next time.
>>52206219
Honestly, before I went into IT, i used to do everything I could to help people build machines and fix problems, but after working in IT about 6 months it got old real fucking fast.
Now I make up excuses about why I can't help people.
My latest is: "All I do is servers, I don't really know how windows works anymore, you should probably go to geeksquad."
Then I show them my laptop with gnome and then make the terminal go fullscreen and show them some config files.
>mom about to get a new phone
>asks me what she needs to save to copy over from her old phone
>i tell her to back up her photos and make a list of the programs she uses regularly
>she looks at me weird and says "i don't have any programs, just apps"
I need Windows to get real work done.
>>52206106
>hiring women
Enjoy your sexual harassment suit
>>52206290
She's some HR recruiter. HR is 100% female in my company, so is legal, accounting, marketing. Finance is about 70% female.
Engineering is 70% male and IT has one female (my boss).
>>52206269
>>52206002
http://www.tickld.com/x/20-most-infuriating-things-computer-illiterate-people-say-
>>52206196
Don't even let people know you do computers.
They start to view you as tech support and once you've touched it once you become responsible for everything that goes wrong with it in future.
>>52206493
This is why I'm glad my internship doesn't require me to interact with many people
>cousin wants me to build gaymen computer for him
>ask him what his budget is
>Confidently says "I have 30 quarters"
>Wants me to poof a computer into existence with thirty fucking quarters
>Tell him it would be a good idea to find an old computer and just upgrade it
>says he has something we could probably use
>brings me a fucking LeapFrog game thingy
Reminder, Telling your 7 year old cousin you can build him a computer is a terrible idea, he constantly nags me about this shit and asks when I'm going to make him one.
>>52206594
You've been breaking the cardinal rule of charging them, haven't you?
They only blame you so they can get you to fix it for free again.
>build own computer using mid-high tier hardware for $700 with monitor/peripherals
>motherboard breaks
>waiting on new part shipment
>mom asks why i dont use it
>tell her it broke
>'oh i dont know why you dont buy this new computer on sale. it's like $1000 only and i bet it never breaks.'
>check specs
>some shitty a10 cpu, no ssd, 1gb graphics card
>mfw
man mainstream stores really know how to scam. add in 12gb of shitty cheap ram, 2tb of shitty cheap storage and sell it for $1000 BECAUSE OMG 2TB STORAGE
>>52206002
lol im about to give my old comp to a friend for free.
Just made a i5 on a z170 with 16gb ram CF 390's
my old one is ddr2 ram and a old quattro card i scrounged.
>>52206621
I broke it back when I was young a naive, its too late now as word spread that I'm some kind of computer "wiz kid".
I'm about to visit an uncle who has apparently lost his photos during the recent windows 10 upgrade from 8.1.
>>52206608
>7
He doesn't know any better anon, it's cute if anything :3
>>52206668
young and stupid*
Now I'm just old and need glasses.
>>52206644
>mom tells something to hold a conversation
>le mfw lelele
post your motherboard
>>52206668
It's not too late.
Just give a quote. Say something like "Ah it'll cost $10 for me to fix this"
Pretend it's equipment cost or something.
>>52206608
Your task for this year is to source him a junked PC and upgrade it using spare hardware in your hoarding junk box.
>>52206709
I actaully am hoarding parts to give him, I've already got an am2 motherboard with 1GB ram, a case, and a power supply. What linux distribution should I give him?
>>52206759
I always recommend xubuntu. I use it myself.
>>52206686
>a recommendation to for a shitty product demonstrating tech illiteracy in an appropriate thread
>ebin shitpost response
that's the /g/ i know
>>52206625
I've never fucking laughed harder at a post on this board
>>52206759
Linux Mint
Xubuntu
>>52206759
>What linux distribution should I give him?
Honestly Windows. He's 7, he's going to want to play games and shit and he won't understand why they're not working
>>52206802
>implanting dependence in children on proprietary malware
>>52206802
This desu senpai.
>>52206802
Also, don't just make him a PC, tell him you need his help to build it. You have the opportunity to show him a computer isn't just a magic box with a power button
>>52206660
underrated
>>52206002
ah, is this the thread where all the rejects from this thread >>52205143 go to recoup some of their false sense of pride?
>>52206812
This, My biggest regret as a child is not learning how to linux when I was a kid, things would be a lot easier if I was learning at a young age.
>>52206816
Wow, good idea anon.
>>52206793
>OP bought a shitty 700 dollar PC with cheap ass MB and PSU
>MB breaks
>OP's mum knew better
>tech illiterate OP's mad
>work at phone shop in small town
>old man comes in
>tells me his phone isn't sending or receive messages or calls
>it's his first smartphone so he's not too good with them. His son gifted him this phone a few days ago
>inspect phone, its a zenfone 2
>everything works
>tell old guy to drop off phone now and pick it up tomorrow
>play WoW on shop PC because slow day
>old guy comes in next day
>put phone out of airplane mode
>tell old guy I had to replace the networking chip
>charge him 45$
>>52206835
this thread is an AFC (average frustrated chump) circlejerk
>Why can I no longer watch videos through Amazon Prime when we signed up for the trial just a few days ago?
Okay, let me take a look.
Why is your name capitalized differently than when I signed you up for the trial the other day?
Why is your recent orders list empty when you ordered things just recently?
How can you have multiple Amazon accounts and not know it?
>>52206835
>computers are magic
They're really not. You're just dumb.
>>52206660
what the actual fuck
>>52206002
>pic related 1.
People should refrain from making any statements, suggestions, or rationalizations about things they don't know shit about.
>>52206855
You're a scumbag anon
>>52206878
lmao, you think I said computers are magic, and you're calling me dumb?
bro, i think you've got bigger deficiencies than just your knowledge about computation
>>52206980
>no, really, computers are magic!
They're not, though. lol
>>52206994
>>52206980
>>52206878
>>52206835
please
i've got a small one, just happened now
>Mom calls me to ask about which phone to buy
>She tells me shes thinking about the note 5 since shes a teacher and thinks she will use the stylus or something idk
>tell her to get the note 4 instead since it has more features
>she calls me back days later telling me she got the note 5 and had to decide between the note and the iphone6s.
>Later when we met one day i showed her i could turn the tv off with the ir blaster (note 3)
>She gets annoyed and just told me that she was gonna return it for a note 4
>>52206855
nigger
>>52206493
>tickld
I haven't been on that site in years.
>>52206594
I can attest to this.
>mom has iPhone 4
>on verizon
>tells me her phone is somehow slower since the Verizon word is gone from between the signal dots and the data indicator
>i test it
>works fine
>mfw
also, had to use her laptop while i was there, my god, i haven't experienced that much of a shitheap of useless programs in my life
>IO Defrag
>Cleanup (one with toilet sound)
>>52207347
iPhone 4?
How the fuck is that POS usable?
>>52206855
>>52206911
>>52207328
>implying you fuckers wouldn't do the same thing
>>52207384
it has iOS 7, and works just fine, all she does is message her man and plya slutomania
>>52207384
I can shit post on 4chan with mine.
Shit is pretty /deprecated/ though.
>>52206196
Found the Jew.
>>52206686
>post you're motherboard
no anon, that's the problem. It won't post
>>52206886
Guy didn't have the right cable for his DVR. Front page of Reddit a day ago.
>>52206269
>not saying "yeah, yeah...same thing"
i never fix anyone's computer anymore because they think when it breaks in 5 months due to thermal strain it was my fault from 'that time you messed around with my computer'
fuck that, never again.
>>52207386
>How to justify being a scumbag to your peers
Your peers have already called you a scumbag, their opinion won't change after telling them they too, are scumbags.
>>52206660
that's genious
>>52206660
kek
>>52206802
There are tons of linux games on steam. he is going to use steam on windows anyway.
>>52206759
Cinnamon Mint looks best out of the box, has drivers and shit and is easy to use.
>>52207484
kek
>>52206625
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
TOP KEK
>Hey anon can you install Gentoo for me while I'm out of town? I'll pay you, just make sure it works.
>Things might not work, winfag, but I'll try. Your definition of working is probably very different than mine.
>Load Dota, CSGO TF2 and some other games he asked for
>everything works fine
>ANOOOOOOOON IT'S NOT WORKING I CAN'T RUN MY GAMES AT 4K YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT WORK
>Sorry? I don't own a 4k monitor
>FIXITFIXITFIXITFIXIT
>You're smart, web search for it you retard. Take some initiative.
>Why would I do that? It was your job. And I am taking initiative, by asking you!
>That doesn't count you moron. You're introducing me as a pointless middleman, and I'm not going to do the work for you when you're perfectly capable of fixing it yourself. You built your own computer for the love of hell, you can use a search engine.
>I'm going back to windows
>Fine, go back to your spyware. I'm not helping you solve some dumb graphics issue because you're too lazy to use a search engine.
Why did I even agree to help him?
>>52207762
>I'll pay you
that´s why
>>52207762
>Perform a miracle
>Be bothered when someone expects another
>>52206660
>/r/funny
>>52207762
You took his money. That is why
>>52206793
>he doesn't know the difference between a recommendation and a suggestion
>>52206855
You are the fuck that scammed my granddad on his new phone I gifted him
I will find you asshole
>>52207948
>>52207837
He never paid me. Guess it's my bad for not extracting my fee, and I'll probably never see it, but it was a paltry sum anyway, probably like a cheap pizza or something else dumb I agreed to.
>>52207859
installing Gentoo is a miracle these days?
>>52207762
>winfag asking for gentoo
You should've just told him to stick it, that shit will never work.
>Upgrade family PC few months ago
>got a nice Q6600 to replace their shitty C2D 1.8GHz
>2GB DDR2 to make 4GB RAM in total
>old SSD I had lying around
>old passive ATI Radeon X1300 for multimedia shit
>pretty sweet machine actually, considering the upgrade only cost $50, more than enough for them
>they only use their iPad
Well could be worse tb^h
>>52206309
HR is all female at my job, too, as well as legal and marketing. I think accounting does have a token guy, though. Not sure because the departments are all kind of close to each other and I'm not sure who does what there. Don't really care, I just fix their shit when it doesn't work.
alright, someone post it
you know what it is, come on
>>52208129
Did the same for my family. They never used it so I just installed Ubuntu Server and use it as a small NAS and Teamspeak server. It has an i5-2320 and I actually just purchased a gigabit switch for it so I can transfer files way faster at home. Also upgraded the RAM from 4gb -> 8gb as I had extra lying around.
They just use their phones for everything they need anyway.
My Dad is a Macfag since the early-to-mid 90's and he's going to build his first computer
>6600k
>EVO Pro SSD
>980TI
Guess what he does all day on his Mac. Yep, reads stories and watches videos. He's literally going to build a PC that obliterates mine just to watch videos and read stories.
>>52208197
>Tech-savy father
You lucky son of a gun.
This fucking thread, i deleted some 3 fucking toolbars installed steam and delted ssl AND A FUCKING dns / proxy THAT REDIRECTS ALL TRAFIC. Thay even put captachs on unistall Every fuckin 2-4 windows with ads from that softs
Not even a slight thank you for hour work, and i want to say that windows is shit for allowing user to that. Just get one simple repo for all you bullshit and ban all malware / spyware.
>>52208197
Why is he switching now? Also KEK
>>52208197
20 years into the future, your son is going to bitch about you building a super computer just to shitpost on imageboards.
>>52208194
I would do that but it uses a shitload of power and the mobo doesn't support RAID.
Also I doubt they'd use that one either
>>52208211
English please.
>>52208206
he thinks he's tech savvy, but more or less just parrots whatever he hears on youtube videos & articles without knowing what they're talking about.
>>52208215
Says he's tired of not being able to switch shit out if it breaks. It's all his fault thought and he's on his 3rd Mac in 5 years because he constantly smokes right in front of it. Basically turns the screen yellow and covers all the internals with nicotine.
>>52208227
>having kids
Bitch I'm far to ugly to even get with 5 feet of a female. I'm also against kids as I hate them all and would be a shitty parent. I play games on mine, which still rocks a 7850. Just waiting until Pascal drops.
>>52208230
Do you pay for electricity at your parents house or something?
Also you can stripe the drives with software.
>>52208206
>>52208243
You wouldn't understand. My father just sits on the couch and burps all day.
Just last Thanksgiving he said his computer was running slow, so I took a look. I installed Google Chrome for him a while back and somehow he managed to remove the icon from the desktop so his Internet Explorer was filled with 20 toolbars and fake PC virus removal tools.
>>52208259
No but I don't want my parents to pay for 70W of constant useless energy drawn 24/7
>>52208170
come on you know the one
the kid gets a laptop with his own shekels and gets forced to share it with his sister, who accuses him of putting viruses on it
he installs linux on it, later his sister can't figure out what it is so tells his parents that he broke the laptop and was too embarrassed to tell anyone, so they get it formatted or something
I know you all have it but I just searched my whole folder and couldn't find it
>>52208376
I don't have it anymore because of the hate I feel when looking at it.
>>52207402
Are you her man's wife's son?
>>52208376
First Google Images result for: 4chan rage computer
>>52208446
Also, obligatory:
http://imgur.com/gallery/iJD8f
http://imgur.com/gallery/B9wqU
>>52206855
Kill yourself scumbag.
>>52206196
This at least get the cunt to buy you some beer or something next time
>>52206660
>Not using that video composite connector from the tablet cable... aaargh
>>52208446
oh god that hurts me
right in the stomach
>Older model has more features
>>52206660
Thats some nigga rigging
>>52208461
That can't be real, can it
>>52206816
This
>>52206802
Minecraft works on linux, he wont care, hes too young to play much of anything. And if he does, you can eventually set up the whole windows vm maxed out on a second screen. with enough ram it will run fine
>>52208446
>Have to read it every time it's posted
>Always scream in rage at the back up partition part
>>52208582
>Minecraft works on linux
Yeah, it "works", nothing more.
>>52206269
everything on a smartphone is made to lose time, thus the term "apps". a PC program can actually make useful things
>>52206625
holy fuck i chuckled hard
>>52208609
its java. I understand mojang is all spaggetti coders, but how did they manage to mess it up so bad they broje the portability of java?
>>52206625
>18. My dad called me a Twat because I opened a new tab.
>>52208243
>I'm also against kids as I hate them all and would be a shitty parent.
The fact that you're not having kids because you're hate them anyway makes you a better parent than most people who do have kids.
At least, you couldn't be worse than >>52208446
>>52206625
fucking gold
>>52206608
Quarter is $250 you gook
He has nearly 2 large, plenty for a good rig
>>52208446
the pain
>>52207295
Tfw iFags can't IR
G4 here, lost remote to my TV but not even upset
When I connect to home wireless network a remote shows up in my pull down notification deal on Android. Considering trying to nigger rig a way for it to know which room I'm in and switch the remote automatically
>>52208644
they didn't it works just fine
>>52209035
not sure if dumb or autism
>>52207762
>gentoo
You could just get him Ubuntu and done with it
>Go on mom's laptop
>Install security updates
>She is upset because her facebook tier flash game isn't working
>Didn't change or install anything Flash related
>She yells at me for ruining her day
>See her playing the game 2 hours later everything is fine
>Ask her what she did to fix it
>She says "Nothing, it just worked again"
Fucking parents
>>52208034
>installing Gentoo is a miracle these days?
You are on a board filled with winbabbies who are afraid of using other keys than wasd
>christmas day family gathering
>aunt asks me if I'm good with computer
>sisters laugh, because I've been good with le computer for 10 years and they only recently caught that
>anyways she lives in some fuck rural place
>come over and look at the issue
>they bought a shiny new office computer
>they want the internet back
>do some debugging, try to download drivers with my phone, got the modem half working, still no connection
>conclusion: isdn modem from 2001 doesn't work with win8.1
>she tells me about the salesmen, wifi and other tech terms she heard
>gives me a bit of money for the drive
>they will ask the telecom people to resolve that
everything went better than expected
>work in tech support
>customer calls
>sheer panic
>"NOTHING WORKS, CAN'T OPEN ANYTING"
>thisgunnabgud.jpg
>upon ariving I see pic related
>press f2 on his keyboard, which turns on wifi
>pretend to think for a couple seconds
>open Chrome
>HOLY SHIT HOW DID YOU DO THAT, I TRIED IT INFINITY+1 TIMES
>"Computer magic, sir"
>that'll be $28 + 15travel costs
some people
>>52208461
This is by far the best IT-related story humanity have come up with yet. I hope it is true, because it CAN be.
>>52209256
You should have installed GNU/Linux
>give advice
>they ignore it
>complain to you how it is your fault that they fucked up
Is there anything more frustrating than this occurring constantly?
>>52209256
first they lure you in with easy working stuff and then the calls will start to come in and you will regret ever agreeing to anything
>>52209269
I really hope it is true, the update adobe reader is confirmed for working have done it dozens of times
>>52209271
yeah I guess... didn't have any ISOs with me, and who knows what kind of office software thing they are required to use to submit their cattle data.
I wonder when the automatic Windows 10 download will kick in, will be a blast on a 64kbit line.
>>52209283
they know I'm studying abroad and don't spend a lot of time in my home town
>>52209274
yes there is
>anon can you help me with this?
>sure can I have the mouse for a sec
>no just tell me what to do
>okay go to device settings, right click this pc and click device settings
>what I don't follow
>just do what I say
>I don't get what you're saying just fucking explain better
>can I PLEASE have the mouse for a sec
>NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THE MOUSE I GET NERVOUS WHEN YOU HAVE THE MOUSE
my dad, every single fucking time
>>52209331
desu I do too
>let me just search something
>n-no
>every letter typed into the address bar quickly flashes a list of porn websites
>>52209331
>>NO YOU CAN'T HAVE THE MOUSE I GET NERVOUS WHEN YOU HAVE THE MOUSE
He just doesn't want you to see his porn history. He's acting like a kid trying to hide his porn from his parents.
>>52209331
gotta remote terminal that faggot
>>52207762
>Hey anon can you install Gentoo
>You're introducing me as a pointless middleman
OP AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY LE MAYOOOOO
>>52209305
Yeah, updating adobe reader and a reboot is usually accepted as a fix for tons of problems. And it also will be something that makes him considered a asset in the office because he don't just reboot and finished, he actually does something on the computer.
People think they had a valid problem and the IT guy saved the day. It sounds ridiculous, but at the same time so realistic.
>at uni
>chav cunt comes up to me and goes
>alright anon, i want a new gaming pc is this good
>shows me cm haf x
>just the case
>just
>the
>case
>tell him it's just the case
>wot
>i tell him it means there's nothing fucking inside it
>how do u even know that you fucking nerd
>he walks off
>>52209363
>>52209353
I think he actually gets nervous because he doesn't know what I'm doing. and he desperately wants to know what his computer can do/should do, otherwise he will feel old and sad that he can't keep up and fix his own computer.
>>52209565
h-how did you know that? a-are you a wizard?
>>52209565
should've talked to him about airflow and shit. that's what he wanted to hear. always tell people what they want to hear. they will come back and you can charge them for telling them what they want to hear.
>>52206855
C'mon man, that's not cool.
>>52206625
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH
>>52209565
>allright anon, I want a new gaming pc is this good
>looks alright man, but maybe you want something without a fan on the side, that way there is a bigger screen to see your insides, looks cool as fuck
>a'right anon, thanks
how to actually converse with these people
>>52206855
>not telling him you had a fuckton of work but it's covered by some sort of global warranty and don't charge him
you missed a lifetime customer opportunity there man
>>52209633
>undertale maymay
>>52209651
If you're going to be dishonest, this is the way to do it.
I would have spent five minutes with the guy showing him how to tell if the phone is in airplane mode, how to turn it on or off, and explaining what it is used for. I used to do this kind of shit all the time at my old job and it got me so many repeat customers and word of mouth customers
>>52206855
>>52206002
you like posting this story... a lot.
>>52206802
Since when are adults supposed to obey to children orders ?
>read him a fucking book
>145 IQ
>Can't get grandmothers pc to boot up
>Run fedore off usb till I get a new HDD
>Spend 3 days teaching her fedora activity bar
>Finally switch back to windows 7
>She's been using it for 3 days now
>Complains to me lately she can't find activity bar
How do you not notice the entire OS has changed
>>52209956
>How do you not notice the entire OS has changed
I think if there was an AOL foss alternative with similar look and feel (just a fullscreen program that integrates some webbrowser, email and IM) most people wouldn't even complain. My mom still uses that half the time, the other half just Firefox by itself. Habits man.
>>52209122
>lost remote to TV
Tripfags are so retarded they lose TV remotes in their own homes
You can't make this shit up
>>52209956
You should let her keep using Fedora.
>>52208446
this shit is so fake it hurts
>>52207386
Yes... I can tell you right now I wouldn't do that because I am a better person than you are
>>52209956
>teaching your grandma fedora
>not having mini-windows on a hiren's usb somewhere
why do people do this?
>all those SJWs
wtf has 4chan become, seriously
>>52208446
triggered by the thumbnail
>>52206002
>-_-.jpg
oh my god kill youself
>>52206994
ah, so it's the new meme to just plain be as stupid as you physically can then?
>>52207762
the correct answer was
"NO, I WILL NOT DO THAT FOR YOU BECAUSE I AM NOT COMPETENT ENOUGH TO DO IT CORRECTLY"
could have saved both of you some grief.
>>52208034
no shit he didn't pay you, you delusional fuckwit. you fucked up his computer, and failed in every sense of the word to fufil the terms of the agreement, you little shithead.
>>52206835
>ah, is this the thread where all the rejects from this thread >>52205143 → go to recoup some of their false sense of pride?
it's a shame you're all a bunch of pompous, selfrightious fuckwits with the approximate intelligence of a computational dipstick, or you guys would actually be achieving something in life to advace the field of computation.
instead you circlejerk to the fact that you know a few google keywords, and think this act of looking up information is the supreme intelligence
>>52206196
lol you americans are fucking greedy jews, in germany we help people out of good will and because we like the other person. Sometimes you get something or he helps you with something you need sometime...
But getting paid for something you like to do (help family or friends) is disgusting and only jews do it.
>>52210853
:^)
Leonhard Euler (15 April 1707 – 18 September 1783) (/ˈɔJlər/ oy-lər;[2] Swiss Standard German [ˈɔJlər] ( listen), German Standard German [ˈɔʏlɐ] ( listen)) was a Swiss mathematician, physicist, astronomer, logician and engineer who made important and influential discoveries in many branches of mathematics like infinitesimal calculus and graph theory while also making pioneering contributions to several branches such as topology and analytic number theory. He also introduced much of the modern mathematical terminology and notation, particularly for mathematical analysis, such as the notion of a mathematical function.[3] He is also known for his work in mechanics, fluid dynamics, optics, astronomy, and music theory.[4]
Euler was one of the most eminent mathematicians of the 18th century, and is held to be one of the greatest in history. He is also widely considered to be the most prolific mathematician of all times. His collected works fill 60 to 80 quarto volumes,[5] more than anybody in the field. He spent most of his adult life in St. Petersburg, Russia, and in Berlin, then the capital of Prussia.
A statement attributed to Pierre-Simon Laplace expresses Euler's influence on mathematics: "Read Euler, read Euler, he is the master of us all."[6][7]
That's Euler. He did that. You just play videogames and post on /g/. How about you get your shit together?
>>52210853
btw i'm a girl
>>52210882
bro, you know you're a clever cunt, right?
so how about you do something clever, instead of google shit and reee about it later
>>52210885
except nobody ITT could begin to program, let alone represent computations mathematically. they're too afraid of that stuff, or just frustrated by it because it hurts their little minds.
the approximate collective intelligence of a computational dipstick, couldn't have described it better myself
>>52210853
it's the exact opposite
it's the art of tricking people into thinking we are brilliant, while performing mundane tasks and charging them for money to pay off student debt so we can finally spend money on a suit that helps you trough job reviews
>>52210892
LONDON?
>>52209701
>>52209651
In business it often pays to be not be an asshole (to well-meaning clients) from time to time.
>>52210865
How are you liking all those immigrants you bent over for? How much has the crime rate gone up, or are those figures kept seperate because 'dats racist'.
>>52210865
lol go fuck yourself nigger
>>52210950
ah, so a petty confidence artist then? pardon me for mistaking social manipulation for stupidity
but on the real, only fools who are insecure in their own abilities need to resort to malicious means to preserve their sense of superiority, or even chase superiority at all, for after all, it is only the fool claims to be a wiseman
>>52209265
>2016
>ISDN
Wat.
>>52206608
>not getting him the 5USD Raspberry Pi running emulators
>>52206039
I woke up with a yolandi in my bed two days ago
Was fun
>ignoramuses who actually believe putting a computer together is some noble feat that requires critical thought or skill
>/tinfoil/s who think the nsa is out to get them, and have no concept that it's merely a big governmental organisation
>the entire hardware enthusiast community, dont even get me started on how pointless their existence is
>brand fanboys
>people who got lost trying to find /wg/ (desktop threads)
>people who got lost trying to find their way to /v/
>my preferred software is better than your preferred software for these reasons which are irrelevant and entirely subjective:
>Much like the DJ/Producer of yesteryear, programming, aka "making apps" is the latest must-have personality accessory
>computer scientists: concerned with type systems, side effects, paradigms, etc
>programmers: concerned with available library bindings, performance, and platform support
>bosses of programmers: concerned with the language being object oriented in a way that keeps their hordes of inexperienced employees from stepping on each other's toes too much
>/g/: concerned with aesthetic issues like brackets and indentation styles
Bikeshedding is the proper word for it. /g/ mainly talks about brackets, syntax, and identation styles because it's non complex and everyone can contribute a opinion and be semi valid.
Any real issues will cause too much risk of being pointed out as incorrect or stupid if they're wrong / mistaken.
mfw /g/ once upon a time has seen better days. i weep silently on the inside. wake me up, wake me up inside (cant wake up) wake me up inside, save me
>>52210997
As much as i hate immigrants, what a fucking strawman you just invented. Everyone knows that americans are fat greedy jews mate.
>>52206855
You are the reason people don't trust repair shops. Fuck you anon.
>>52211095
>>52211058
with "EVERYTHING" he meant his google homepage, his internet didn't work because his wireless adapter was disabled
>>52206855
niggers gonna nig
>>52211130
and you're what i'd call a jackass. go hee-haw where someone gives a fuck
>>52210853
I'm doing a PhD which revolves around AI and machine learning applications.
In a knowledge-based economy, one of the most important skills you have is accessing knowledge. Most people in Western technical jobs learn what they have to do on the job and they learn it fast and efficiently.
People pay you good money for this. Nearly every single profession/hobby boils down to "just knowing, having access to information/tools that someone else hasn't". This can be said for plumbing, nursing and computer science research.
>>52206266
>make the terminal go fullscreen and show them some config files
keked softly
>>52211150
>go hee-haw where someone gives a fuck
might want to tell that to yourself
Had some dummy at work who thought he needed to use an array, but it was obvious he had to use a tuple instead, but fill it with the binary from the source file, of the header he was trying to link.
Some people are so fucking stupid, right?
>>52211095
>bitching about /g/
>>52211150
and feeling selfrightious about it
nigga, this is a fun stories you had with fucktards about computers thread
easy man, easy
>>52211193
Mate no one expects a nigger to read
>>52211172
oh, so tell me then, which complex algorithms are you implementing in your applications? please tell me the big-O notation of your primary research topic (algo), and whether or not it is logarithm oriented, as i would be quite keen to know.
and if you don't mind, could you write down some of your spec in TLA+ for me?
>>52211172
probably just some neural net shit that's been BTFO since that shit's exponentially inefficient
>>52209256
>telecom
>not superior fastweb or vodafone
pleb
>>52206002
Here's my story:
>go to /g/
>see threads like this >>52211259
>>52211291
not bad
>>52211291
I laughed way harder than I should have.
>>52208243
>he thinks he's tech savvy, but more or less just parrots whatever he hears on youtube videos & articles without knowing what they're talking about.
I think he'd like /g/.
What really pisses me off is when people are just completely ungrateful
>Christmas break 2005 or something
>Mother's XP laptop is so full of malware and shit it's just got to be cleared out with a complete reformat
>My mother, being the do-it-yourself type decides that she should be able to do it and makes me show her how to get started before completely screwing it up and ending up with two different windows installs on the same partition (incidentally a semi-tech illiterate friend succeeded in the same thing the year after)
>We agree that it's best that I should do it
>Try to get it done, but due to various christmas preparations that she also has me help out with I only get Windows and some of the updates and programs, but no real anti-virus software
>Before going to bed specifically tell her that it's not finished and not to touch it until I finish up
>Get woken up the next morning by her barging into my room and going "ANON!!! WHY CAN'T I ACCESS MY EMAIL?!! YOU SAID YOU'D FIX MY COMPUTER BUT YOU BROKE IT"
>Find out that she's gone on the open internet with lacking updates, no AV and no firewall (intentionally kept it off the open internet for that reason)
>Makes me continue work on her machine
>Then 20 minutes later barges in again and tells me to leave her computer and do some other chores
>Is angry at me for the rest of the christmas holidays
>Now acts like she did nothing wrong whenever this incident comes up
>>52206660
what am I seeing?
>>52207386
No anon, being a nigger is not for everyone.
>>52207338
Me neither
Here's my story:
>go to /g/
>see threads like this >>52194631
>>52204762
>>52206735
>>52205895
>>52211021
>>52209619
>>52202968
>>52205478
>>52204344
>>52206832
>>52211227
>implying he's even going to be granted that ph.d being as incompetent as he is, or that he's even studying at all
Can we agree that people who don't have a clue, but still act like it are the worst?
>Uncle is one of those supposedly tech savvy types back in the XP days
>Family gathering at his place when the question of computer security comes up
>Starts insisting that you don't need firewalls and anti-virus if you want to stay safe, all you need to do is just keep off shady sites
>Tell him that this isn't true and point out how a few years earlier he had moaned about how annoying the sasser worm was
>Says that the sasser worm was an exception and that you're still completely safe if you just stay away from shady sites
>Tells me he'll prove it to me by powering on his computer and showing me that it doesn't have any "viruses" on it
>Boots up about as fast as you'd expect and XP machine with a mechanical disc drive
>"See, no popups and the browser works just fine, meaning that I don't have any viruses"
>Point out that most viruses don't announce themselves and instead like to collect your data like logins, browser history, emails, contacts, etc.
>Offer to prove that there is malware on his machine by downloading and running a scan with Avira or one of the other free anti-virus suites
>Agrees to this, so we download the suite and run it
>Turns out he's got loads of malware on his computer
>Really embarrassed by this insists that the scan is lying and that it's just trying to sell you something
>Family laughs at my uncle for his failure
>Find out that he took his computer to a local repair shop and they gave him the same diagnosis
>Has since then been paranoid as shit about anti-malware, using not only proper anti-virus, but also both software and hardware firewalls
>>52211148
>>52211123
>>52209713
>>52209651
>>52209627
>>52208474
>>52208016
>>52207386
>>52207328
>>52206911
>all these stupid fucks thinking this is wrong because it's le kind old man
PROTIP: Old people are the cause of everything wrong with the US today. You should not be kind or nice to them. They have fucked your future, and will continue to fuck it when they elect Hillary or whomever the GOP chooses instead of Trump.
>>52206855
You are worse than testicle cancer.
>>52207484
Yes * Yes
>>52210865
Norwegian here and he's fucking right. Do it for free and people will walk all over you. >>52206594
is also right, but if the damage is already done and people know you know shit, demand payment.
>>52210885
>>52210926
Euler's Number (and indeed, over half of calculus) is literally worthless. Fuck off.
>>52211300
hey i hope that you saved that image ironically and gave it that exact filename ironically but just to be safe:
go back to reddit and then kill yourself you fucking normie nigger faggot
>>52209331
Now try to do that over Skype or phone with your soon to be retired, histrionic mother.
Just fucking kill me.
>>52210865
Nazi
>>52211097
why do you hate immigrants? it dosen't make much sense to hate someone based on the country they were born in rather than the intelligence, attitude etc. of the person
>At recent Christmas party
>My Grandma talks about WiFi being enrolled at her retirement home
>Wanting to do some course there to learn stuff
>She's 80
>I think she will mainly use the Internet for news, and communication with the family (Facebook), maybe YouTube
>My father and uncle suggest a small Windows laptop.
>I suggest an iPad, because literally everyone can use it. I have seen 2 year olds succeeding in using those things. (not said that last part of course)
>Get ignored for some reason.
>Dust flies of case of Family PC
>Laptop screams for user input.
>Everyone uses their smartphone all the time.
Why do people do this? Do they not know their own habits? The only reason why they know how to work with Windows PCs is habits since the 80s. That's also the reason of the outcry that happens after every new Windows release. Please don't try to teach it to 80 year olds, give them something they can use without much learning.
Also who is going to fix my Grandma's cheapo laptop?
Protip: not my father and uncle
>>52206855
>Aunt works as an editor at a local newspaper
>They decide to do one of those mystery shopping tests on local computer repair places
>Being the family "tech person" I get roped in setting it all up
>We basically send the same laptop with the same problem, in this case windows not booting because we messed with the registry, and give them the same description of the problem (i.e "not boothing, could be the HDD or RAM")
>Unbeknownst to them we've put some strips of tape on the HDD and RAM, both of which are in perfect health, in case they try to replace them
>3 places get tested, one of them just re-installs windows and another replaces the HDD
>Third place CLAIMS to have replaced the HDD and RAM, but on closer inspection it's still the same RAM and HDD with the pieces of tape in place (i.e they haven't been touched)
>Contact the third place to ask them about it
>Owner completely explodes on the telephone, saying that they DID replace the parts and when we show him our before and after pictures he claims that we just put the old ones back
>Threatens to sue the newspaper
>Newspaper publishes the comparison anyway
>Tries to sue the newspaper, but has his case thrown out
>Goes out of business a few months later after people stop coming to his business
>>52210638
Because Linux is generally easier for people to learn these days if they have no experience. And harder to mess up, cause less problems, malware and so on and lead to less tech support until you can get windows back on the machine. it is easier to deal with for them AND tech support.
>>52211785
Same thing goes not OSX as well. Used to have to help my mother all the time, after her getting a mac I very rarely get any requests for assistance and even then it's never stuff that's she's fucked up or that has fucked up on it's own.
>>52206196
bad idea, where i live if you do it for free then you have no legal obligation if it breaks but if you take a payment then you do.
>>52211763
If they get the cheap laptop, put chromeos on it.
done.
>>52211082
Sounds like great fun
>>52206084
this x10000000
>>52211288
in some places there is only the telecom aviable
My main pet peeve is people who will never learn nor will ever attempt to fix shit themselves and always rely on you to do tedious tasks like "installing e-mail" when it's the exact same servers + username and password for any device and any e-mail software. Yet I need to do it pretty much each and every time my parents buy a new laptop/phone/tablet or such.
On occasion I've written very detailed instructions on how to do shit like download music from youtube through a 3rd party site, or how to resize photos so they can fit the 5 or so MB restrictions e-mails tend(ed?) to have per message. Yet I am ever so often asked to perform these magic tricks on behalf of them because "you're so handy with computers and it all seems so easy to you" which might be true because I'm not constantly relying on someone else to do this shit for me.
The old chinese saying "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach him how to fish and he'll eat for the rest of his life" goes well here. If they'd try to do this by themselves for once, they wouldn't need me to do it every single time. I wouldn't even mind helping out, and I'd gladly be there to overlook things in case of problems, if only they tried instead of automatically dumping all the banal repetitive shit for me to do.
I don't mind helping people out but I do mind being abused for my skill, or being made to feel like this shit is something everyone is entitled to whenever it suits them.
>>52211553
Dude its not old people, is the Jews
>>52211806
Give a family member tech support for free and he'll expect it for free for all time, ask for money and they're unlikely to ask at all.
>>52211774
Similar story
>dad is not that good with computers
>uses laptop mostly for browsing the internet and taking to relatives on Skype
>laptop dies out
>I call him from univ and tell him to take it to a repair shop
>he does
>repair shop people say the motherboard is broken
>repair shop people fix laptop, dad is happy
>I come over for holidays
>HDD is now somehow 160 GB instead of 500GB
>RAM is now somehow 2GB instead of 6GB
>instantly know what's up
>ask dad for the receipt, he says they didn't give one
>fuck.png
>call cop friend, take laptop to shop, tell them to return all the original parts
>dindu nuffin.jpg
>tell then I have a list of serial number of parts and they're different now, so they obviously have the parts (lie, who even does that?)
>threaten to sue them, cop friend is in uniform so there's extra pressure
>they take in current parts and replace with the original ones
>they say the technician must have made a mistake and it wasn't intentional
Remember kids, always have atleast one friend who's a cop or a lawyer, that shit pays off big time
>>52211938
I do it for a minimum of a beer, more if they want to.
That way you're not always asking for shekels and they know you won't work for free
>>52212095
Yeah that's fine.
Just never do shit without compensation.
I got one
>be at Christmas party with senpai
>talks about how my little brother is gonna build his first pc
>my father is gonna help build it
>hes a little too old school
>ask what the parts are
>raid max shit box that comes with a 450watt piece of shit already inside
>8gb ddr3
>500GB FUCKING SSD
>mfw only have 120
>FX 4350
>and my father's old GTX 260 core 216
>tell father the gpu probably won't get enough power since it's 200 watts under load
>says it'll be fine
Building process
>cpu, motherboard and cooler already in place
>put in gpu, now for the power connectors
>dad puts wires fucking everywhere
>ask why not cable manage them?
>says it's like engineering a plane, all out where I can see them so if one of them messes up I can fix it easier.
>decide not to argue
>skip to 6 pin connectors for gpu
>the fucking psu it came with doesn't come with 6 pins
>I fucking told you
>father says it's OK I have adapters
>tell father that he should probably just order a new psu since the one it has will probably not work for the gpu
>decide to use adapters anyway
>actually don't have any and have to use mine
>start up computer, boots fine
>literally 10 fucking minutes later the computer catches fire
>mfw only power supply was damaged
>IFUCKINGTOLDYOU.JPG
>I NEED THE COMPUTER FOR WORK ANON , HELP ME PLEASE ITS AN EMERGENCY
Then you see he has ares installed , open chrome and see 5 zoophilia sites on new tab.
Browser history containing jewels like nude female cunts sluts.
Most of the time it's the most normal looking old normalfag.
I want off this ride
>nephews PC (he's 12)
>no internet connection
>think it's the router and go reset it
>still no connection
>wait, there's not network adapter
>is it turned off in hardware manager?
>it's not there either
>is it turned off in UEFI?
>nope, it's on in there
>open the case, remove the GPU
>look for the network chip
>seems fine
>oh look at that, a coil next to it is ripped off, hanging by a single thread
Fucking how does someone even do that accidentally...
>>52211541
>Can we agree that people who don't have a clue, but still act like it are the worst?
then who was it, you or your uncle?
>>52208206
>tfw convinced my dad to get an s5 over the iPleb
>one year later and he's become more tech savvy
>can talk tech with him daily
Feels good, anons.
>>52206196
This. Do it free once, and you'll be doing it free for the rest of your life. If you value your time and the person you help's time, then quote them your rate. Could be low as $10/h or a small static rate like $20. As soon as they see that, they'll understand the value of time and appreciate it more. If you do it for free, you're not helping either your self or the other.
>>52212508
his uncle probably didn't keep java/flash up to date
>tell senpaitachi to buy macs
>never hear any complaints
You people are dumb as shit desu
>>52206660
>fryneat.jpg
>>52206002
Full sized image Anon?
>>52206196
Jew
Be me
Be school
Be shitty internet
>Anon you like computers, can you tell us why the internet is slow
>Sure principal anon, let me look at it
CTRL + R, cmd.exe, ping -t 192.168.1.1
>I fixed the internet!
>Gee Anon! Its soo much faster!
>MFW Placebo
>>52208446
gay and fake
also /r9k/
>>52213207
It's fake... and yet I'm still triggered
>friend wants to buy new gaymen laptop
>tell him to absolutely not buy until i look at it
>ends up getting used laptop for 800 euro
>shit tier i5 with 650m, 8GB ram and no SSD
>tells me he got it because i wasnt online at the time or answering my phone
>couldnt wait a fucking day
>tells me its fast enough to run ARMA 3 "he checked"
>respond by saying that the laptop i got for 600 euro almost two years ago had high end i7 from same gen, 670mx, and 16GB ram. And its barely fast enough for ARMA 3 to playable
>itsmyfault.jaypeg
>friend asks me to help find used gaming PC for his senpai
>gives me budget
>keeps going over or under budget and complaining i cant fix prices on used computers
>tells him to get a 2500k and spend whatever is left on GFX
>ends up buying a fucking shit q9550 with shit old amd mid tier gfx(dont remember which) and shitty parts for more than i wanted to use to get a 2500k with a 760
>manages to go over budget buying a 144Hz monitor for a system that will never produce more than 60fps anyway
>BF4 runs like shit, ARMA 3 runs worse than my laptop, friend says at least it looks good in his shitty MMO. Notify him that the MMO is locked to 60 fps and that he will have to upgrade to play with us.
>"why didnt you find a better system for us then?"
>"i did but you bought a calculator that doubles as a space heater since you OC'd it for crazy 10% gains"
>itsmyfault.jaypeg
>sister wants to play sims
>says i need to get it running on macbook with shit throttled cpu and onboard gfx that can hardly play minecraft
>tell her she cant play sims on it
>tell her she can sell it and buy a laptop with the same specs as her mac, and then get a gaming pc
>"no used is shit"
>"mac can play games i dont believe you"
>itsyourfault.jaypegmyass
i wish i wouldnt get involved in peoples problems, one friend yelled at me because i said skylake would only give 1-10fps max over devils canyon.
fuck normies ;_;
>>52213326
There are plenty of reasonable "normies" out there. This thread is for those who are willfully ignorant and spiteful.
>>52213620
If i slighted you, or other normies i apologize. I was in a state and i realize that people are very different and i hope i didn't offend or marginalize anyone.
#NotAllNormies
Thanks for standing up for the innocent, we must all stand together in unity and make this a safe space for everyone.
Cunt.
>>52213704
I like you
>>52213704
You're trying too hard to fit in, lad. Tone it down a bit.
>>52211368
Someone using the free content provided by verizon on their tablet through the NFL app.
This is probably the only way of getting it onto a TV without seriously screwing with the DRM code.
>dad is looking for a computer to watch videos, listen to audiobooks, and do taxes on
>tell dad for what he does on his computer he'd be better off with a used desktop PC and a tablet
>he says he wants a laptop
>"o-okay, I can look for one if you want" (intending to get a used thinkpad or dell work laptop)
>he says he can do it on his own
>comes back with a 2007 Macbook like pic related
>he's proud that he only spent $500 of his budget
>it's slow as fuck
>tells me it's more of a symbol of status and that I don't understand
>he doesn't even leave the house ever anyways
>visiting recently and find he now has the retardbook with one USB-C port
>it's fucking fake gold plated
>he's got crusted guac all over it
>doesn't care
>>52213704
That autism
>>52206855
nigger
>>52206660
Where's the bowling ball and dominos?
