>you awake to something moving you shoulder
>you open you eyes in shock to see this face looking at you
>you say "W-what are you doing here?"
>the alien replies
>I can give you one technology from our world or answer one question about our science
How do you reply?
>>47632241
What are the specs of the iPhone 7
>>47632241
how do i install arch
>>47632241
I'd ask for a super realistic sex doll with real shitting and pissing functions.
>>47632241
>How do you reply?
ayy lmao
>>47632269
they dont have that sorry
id ask for an anal probe
>>47632281
Well then I'd ask for the best way to kill myself.
A
>>47632241
full checkup, fixing any physical health problems, completely giving me a full bill of health and extending my lifespan by double or more.
Or if possible, unlock %100 of my brains potential.
>>47632293
they dont have that either
A Y Y L M A O
Y
Y
L
M
A
O
>>47632302
the
>>47632314
Well then these are some useless nigger aliens and we should nuke them.
>>47632336
nah theyre cool
>>47632241
>I can give you one technology from our world
I don't have any idea what kind of technology they have. How am I supposed to answer that?
>>47632376
you have to know
>>47632273
>>47632301
>>47632320
Leave the memes in /s4s/
>>47632376
The point is they have tons of advanced technology. You could ask for a spaceship to travel the cosmos, or a teleportation device etc.
>>47632388
>>47632388
nice dubs
>>47632402
no they only have things we couldn't even consider
>how did you get here?
ayy lmao
>>47632241
loli robot waifu or a device that does this >>47632302 but also turn me into a girl
>>47632388
AYY LMAO
YY LMAOA
Y LMAOAY
LMAOAYY
LMAOAYY
MAOAYY L
AOAYY LM
OAYY LMA
>>47632413
they got here on a spaceshit
>>47632241
Give me your fastest method of propulsion
What is the origin of life on Earth?
>Inb4 tricycle and God
>>47632438
one question only
>>47632438
>>47632427
>propulsion
>implying
How to reverse entropy?
This would cause his brain to explode.
>>47632241
I take the tech.
There is no way I could profit from a query about science when I'm not studying to the top in any particular field of research.
>>47632455
no, it wouldnt
Can I have mind control?
Then mind control him into giving me more tech and info.
Find a flaw
Discuss.
qt pic cuz legs
>>47632461
sorry you cant have that
>>47632241
>one question about our science
How does the gravity force interact with the other 3 forces of nature?
>>47632473
it doesnt
>>47632469
>you cant have this you cant ahve that you cant have this you cant have that
well, what are you even doing here mr alien.
>>47632484
That's bullshit.
There has to be a theory of everything we are just not there yet.
How do I install gentoo?
>>47632499
afraid not
>>47632241
A memory device containing detailed information about your science and technology that can be both interfaced to and read by a human computer using a USB 3.0 port with the files translated in human language and converted into .pdf format
Thanks D&D
>>47632461
...the obvious flaw is that the aliens already have some anti-MC tech or are immune to it.
Otherwise the first alien to invent that shit would control the everything, so it became nothing more than a party trick for them , to MC some stupid human into doing dumb shit for their entertainment.
This alien is uselesss someone grab him and tie him.
>>47632530
they just dont have mc
>>47632532
I say rape
>>47632241
i would like 1 master pc
>>47632548
Yeah... now we get to do the experiments here you little bastard.
>>47632530
Well, they must have some sort of way of overpowering that anti-mc tech, it would be really dumb not having that.
Dank space weed.
>>47632585
me too
>>47632241
Does
N = NP ?
Only a faggot would ask for anything less.
Dragon dildo that doubles as a fleshlight.
>>47632585
It would destroy your mind.
>>47632585
>smoking the herbal Jew
>abusing illegal substances
>being a degenerate
Kek
>>47632618
no it doesnt
replicator or nanomachines
Replicator for the easy money.
You could put in expensive shit in there and dupe it, but things like cash has serial numbers plus you would have to sell the shit to make money and of course you can only replicate things that can fit inside the machine, if its as big as a microwave you can't make yourself a car.
I like the idea of nanomachines, make more machines with them ? You could make things but it would require some raw materials and lots of time building things atom by atom.
Maybe if you had them in your body instead to augment all your abilities.
Who knows what they run on ? Body heat if you're lucky ..
Would asking for A fully kitted out spaceship with instruction manual, starmaps, a hefty amount of space currency and a personal translator, and possibly a quirky AI be too much?
I just want some space adventures.
>>47632241
ayyyyyyy teach me the easiest way to make room temperature (or close) superconducting material
thanks fam
>>47632241
Augment me that I transcend above "git gud" level for every screen game ever conceived or to be conceived.
>>47632631
This is what I would ask for. We could travel the universe together dude! :D
advanced learning technology. Like some sort of machine that will teach you stuff right away by beaming information into your mind. Load me up with math and science knowledge.
>>47632241
the top tier MBP
the one with the i7.
>>47632623
It's weed from space so it isn't illegal
>>47632678
irrelivant
How do you desalinate water with minimal energy usage?
It would be the most important invention in human history since the Haber-Bosch process.
I would ask for the technology to turn Women into Men and then get paid to rid humanity of feminists.
>>47632629
But we don't know for sure.
On the extremely unlike scenario that it is true, the possibilities would be endless.
>>47632302
>Or if possible, unlock %100 of my brains potential.
bait right? ...or do people still believe this?
>>47632697
the other way round would be more useful in here.
>>47632725
Mentally ill transvestites don't have legitimate reasons for downgrading. I would want to give Women who feel oppressed the option to switch sexes, not promote degeneracy.
>>47632771
kek
>>47632241
My reply: ayyy lmao
Ayy
>>47632771
>believing in feminist propaganda
>>47632241
something that can start and stop time. Meaning I can stop time and still move around and do shit when everyone else is frozen in place.
>>47632457
>profit
>not taking the tech and devoting your time to advance the fate of the human race
replace my penis with your species sex organ
>>47632833
>something that can start and stop time. Meaning I can stop time and still move around and rape people when everyone else is frozen in place.
FTFY
>>47632241
How can entropy be reversed?
The cucktainer for schizos is /x
>x
>>47632822
>Implying my public lottery for use of my woman to man tech wouldn't end the feminist movement overnight.
I would use the proceeds from people paying to jump to the front of the line to fund my political whims and go full retard.
>>47632939
you monster
>>47632499
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUW00Y5x1tM
>>47632241
ayy
>>47632461
I bet you believe that four separate gods control each elemental force.
> That sounds a little like heresy
> fuck, that's really heresy
>HERESY!
> HEEEEERRESYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY----
>>47632402
Well then I would I would be a non retarded ass nigger and ask for the equivalent of the science portion of their library of congress for the past hundred years in a compatible format to our computers.
>>47632241
>moving you shoulder
How dare you, I'm not shoulder.
>>47632241
Is it true Jet fuel can't melt Steel beams?
>>47632241
I'd like to ask a question but it's hard to know exactly what to ask, so the best thing to ask is:
>What is the ordered pair that has the best question that I could be asking you as first element and the answer to that question as second element?
>>47633060
wind, earth, fire, water, bear.
>>47632241
Your most advanced computer with all data encompassing all your other technologies and science contained in it, translated to every human language and operable by humans of course.
>>47632455
You can reverse entropy locally. You are decreasing entropy at this exact moment.
>tech
teleportation pls
>science
what cern is researching (why did space appear to be lead dense, then 99% empty, etc etc until what is dark matter)
Ask if it has human compatible brainwashing tech so I could get back with my ex.
>>47633162
This.
fucking this
Fucking genius.
>>47632241
Industrial-grade molecular assembler with built-in blueprints for your starship technology.
>>47632570
It's like I'm in 2nd grade all over again.
"I have a ray gun!"
"I have an anti-ray gun shield!"
"I have anti-anti-raygun shield raygun!"
"Well, I have an anti-anti-anti raygun shield raygun shield!"
etc.
>>47633323
>Alien: "You should eat some fish."
>You: "What the fuck?"
>Alien: "You are deficient in B12, this is the best answer for your immediate nutritional needs."
>>47633331
Well, why don't you think of something better, Mr.offbytwodankmemer.
>>47633296
Am I the only selfish one here that wouldn't hesitate one second to ask for my own immortality or seriously long life instead of technology for the rest of humanity?
Or is it that everyone in 4chan is not really aware of their own mortality? Judging by the time most people here spend countless time with meaningless obsessions, that's probably the case.
>>47633162
ayyy lmoa. Since that's clearly the best answer, enjoy literally starving to death while the alien recites the never ending recursive answer.
>>47633375
I'm a firm believer in Quantum Immortality/Suicide so I believe I'll exist forever anyhow.
>>47633369
I started coming up with a bunch of different scenarios as to what could happen / could have happened with aliens and their mind control technology, and then realized "Why the fuck am I even pondering this?"
I mean, come on, the probability of this happening is zero. Out of anything. Zero. Nothing constructive or useful will come out of this thread.
>>47633323
Except that he would answer
>The first element is the question you just asked and the second element is this answer.
>>47632241
stomp his head in
>>47633409
So you got nothing, huh?
sasuga.
Help me be not allergic to milk
Can you give me a technology that gives me the same level of intelligence as your species?
>How can I extend a conscious life to the maximum possible time?
>Something for mind uploading
>>47633400
I wish I could believe in Quantum Immortality, as it sounds amazing, but I can't believe in anything these days.
>he gives me one technology
>my civilization gains technological victory
thanks aliens
>>47633356
If that's the absolute best information he can give me, then so be it.
Though I'd ask on behalf of the human race, so my phrasing would be something like:
>>What is the ordered pair that has the question that better addresses the physical and psychological needs of humanity that I could be asking you, as first element, and the answer to that question, as second element?
>>47632241
>you awake to something moving you shoulder
>you open you eyes in shock to see this face looking at you
That exact same thing happened to me before one night (without the dialog, just the scary as fuck encounter).
AND NOW IT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TONIGHT UNLESS YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS POST IN 10 OTHER THREADS.
>>47633460
Literally, that was beautiful. Saved. Best question anyone could possibly ask an alien.
captcha: whehe
>>47632917
There is not enough data for a meaningful answer
>>47633465
what if the mods ban me for spamming before i can post it in 10 other threads
what if the post time limit disables me to post all 10 before 'tonight'
checkmate christians
>Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
>>47632241
I would ask for an AI that I can always have with me, that I can always talk to, and that can learn, evolve and improve itself
When is doomsday?
Quantum Dildos. Surely, a dildo in two quantum superpositions can come in handy.
>>47632241
tell me of alien bitches, how is their foot game?
How do I make flash?
>>47633526
Sounds to me like you want a pet dog, less the AI and learn part.
>>47633541
No, but a quantum right hand would come in handy
:^)
>>47632241
Why would somebody shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane?
Can jet fuel melt steel beams?
>>47633561
Not really a dog, more like someone I can talk to everytime, who has a different vision of things than me
>>47633375
some may consider living forever a curse
having godlike powers and choosing when, if at all, you die would be good though.
>>47633595
a friend
>>47633215
Why do they have chubby legs?
Aren't they supposed to be models?
>>47633215
Please tell me she does nudes. Holy fuck.
Please make me attractive to the opposite gender.
>>47633631
You fuck right off.
>>47633618
Kinda like that, but the AI version, way more rational than humans, and always here
id refer him to someone more intelligent than me to ask him a question because I'm not about to fuck up such a gift for humanity.
>>47633652
>Ignorant human. We discovered long ago that gender is a social construct. Check you're privilege.
>>47633694
>you're
>>47633712
boring
>>47632670
>doesnt know how to use a computer
>>47633597
Ideally I'll like to be young forever and immune to disease and accidents but have a chance to kill myself if I want to. However I'd like the suicide to have with a fail safe mechanism, so that I don't suicide one day if I just feel bad. For example you request for suicide today and you die a year later and you are reminded of you request everyday and can cancel it anytime you want.
Either that or just to have a really long life. At least 300 years ffs.
>>47633655
Seriously, is this a new gook fad?
First scat porn, now fat models?
>>47632865
>aliens are a-sexual
>they need to shit on their own face to reproduce
>you must now shit on your own face every time you get the urge...
Give me Firefly season 2
and the Cowboy Bebop movie starring Keanu Reeves
and season 3 of Twin Peaks
>>47633323
>best question
>no context of relevance, just dribble about being smart
>receive best chili recipe (no beans) in universe.
you just ask for their energy production technologies. It's the biggest hindrance on progress in modern society.
>you awake to something moving you shoulder
>you open you eyes in shock to see this face looking at you
>you say "W-what are you doing here?"
>the alien replies
>ayy lmao
How do you reply?
>>47633759
Sir Cheeto has spoken
>>47633830
ayy lmao?
>how do you reply?
Ayy lmao
I want a wireless monitor that displays in 4k 480mhz. Got anything like that ayylien bro?
>>47632709
they do, sadly.
just had an argument with a friend the other day since he said the
>20% of your brain hurr durr
thing
>>47633822
> patent sauce and start a restaurant
> develop all-encompassing chili empire
> be fucking rich
> even aliens come in to taste my chili
Either that or
>>47633460
In any case it's fucking awesome
Question about science seems like the better choice because, if asked correctly, it could advance technology on our planet by centuries. So I would ask something along the lines of:
How does intergalactic travel work?
>>47633460
>the best thing humanity can do is get along with itself, literally by not killing each other anymore
grats, you wasted your question.
>>47632520
its encrypted
>>47632709
Are there people out there that believe we somehow magically do use 100%
>do u have some marriage-uh-wanna?
Can you please go and tell everyone that climate change is natural and not man made once and for all?
>>47632388
Lmao
>>47634008
>yes no question
Anta baka
>>47633954
Lol, assuming the question would be something retarded as "give us some stupid advice about how to be happy"
The logic in the question requires the answer to be the best and most meaningful question on the matter and it's answer. So no, the question wouldn't be wasted.
>>47632241
I wish to have a divine sphere, because I could get out of here with it.
So, you guys make alienware, huh?
Exponential, continuous intelligence/mental computation/memory improvement by method of technological augmentation or biological alteration... with no negative health/mobility impact (deformities not included, can't win 'em all; the mobility clause only applies to your body, not the doorways it may encounter). This trait/mechanism would also be genetically transmissible. (Maybe even to go as far as sexual transmission. Who in their right, absurdly large mind would want to screw someone who is, relatively speaking, as intelligent as a house pet?)
Add in (or potentially discover) lifespan extensions, and we'll catch up to them in no time.
How can I efficiently find the prime factors of large numbers?
>What is Cherry's birthday?
>>47633497
shit beat me to it.
>>47632241
How can our race reach your intelligence and knowledge?
>>47632771
This is literally the gayest thing anyone has proposed
>turn all of the women into men
shit nigger what are you doing?
>>47632694
>>47632694
Easy. I've already looked into it myself.
>>47632241
Give me your AI technology so that it takes over our world and brings new technology.
