How often do you poop /fit? I have my scheduled poop at 7:40am and sometimes a second in the early afternoon.
IBS MASTER RACE REPORTING IN
I have health issues that are not possible to fix with modern science.
Those people have no idea how lucky they are because they wake up every morning and take big clean dump with extremely pleasurable feel of emptiness in bowel and anus happliy gaping afterwards. It takes less time to take a cleanliness dump that require no wipe after that it takes me to pee.
>>34898843
used to be vegetarian and was pooping all day long
now I have 2-4 little poops in the morning between 6 and 7 am
Every morning before shower represent.
This is party because of how I traumatized myself when shitting in public
>3rd grade
>real bad tummy ache
>pooped myself, keep quiet about it, run to toilet
>poop every fucking where, throw away underwear, get back to class
>later, hear classmates talk about some underwear covered in shit
>everyone is talking about it even the teachers
>swore to never shit in public ever again
This is actually funny because just earlier, while I was at work, I think I ate something bad and made my stomach hurt. You know that cold sweat feel? The moment it kicked in I knew I had to rush home. Luckily my tasks were signed off and was literally doing nothing so I was able to go out.
>>34898843
twice a week
>>34898843
what's a great laxative I can make at home?
>>34899137
Dick.
>>34899156
what are the ingredients?
>>34898843
I can't poop until I have eaten breakfast.
Normaly 20-30 minutes after I eat.
then once more in the evening .
Everytime i pooped my weight went down so i stopped pooping completely, my gains have never been better
>>34899253
I lost 500g last night after dropping a gigantic one
>>34899137
Eating fibrous veggies for dinner the night before and then the warm water of my morning shower stimulates my bowels
>>34898861
Fuck i love Pia Mia
About 9 or 10 times a day.
I don't actually have a large intestine.
>>34898843
3-4 times when im bulking
Once in the morning, sometimes some other part of the day. when I was bulking I was pooping 2-3 times a day.
>>34898861
I'm sorry.
Have you tried a fecal transplant? Do those actually work?
>>34899095
Too young to know any better poop stories thread?
They didn't even know it was you that pooped in the underwear! I'd call that success and I'd actually be kind of proud of it.
When I was really young, like 1st grade or so, I was straight up afraid of pooping and didn't do it for about 2 weeks. I got constipation and had to get some stuff for my Mr Poopybutthole, which my mom helped me apply. I still feel pretty stupid about putting her through that.
In first grade, as well, I accidentally shat my underwear. I calmly asked my teacher if I could go to the bathroom and I just threw them away.
First grade was rough.
>>34899384
You shower and then shit‽‽‽ You are doing that ass-backwards. Let me guess you also shave after you shower too?
>>34899716
Have you killed all the alien parasites?
>>34899095
>that
>traumatized
Fucking scrub, this is how you shit yourself to the highest tier of ohgodwhy.jpg
>break arm
>go to hospital to have arm fixed
>while in hospital contract pneumonia and salmonella
>isolated to a private room while I recover
>bedridden, oxygen-deprived, and intermittently passing out from pneumonia
>having to shit every few minutes from salmonella
>one night wake up
>oh fuck I have to get up NOW
>get out of bed, start waddling to the bathroom door
>too late
>my asshole becomes pic related about halfway to the toilet
>almost there, just keep going
>trying not to slip over on my own shit
>make it to the toilet
>sit down
>cry as my entire abdomen trembles with the force
And it gets better...
>>34899822
>sit there contemplating the life steps which led to this moment for about five full minutes
>look up, the bathroom floor is coated in shit
>decide it's time to assess the damage
>clean myself off in the shower to the best of my ability
>hospital gown is ruined, so I just take that off
>now completely naked
>waddle out to the room covering my shame
>floor is coated in a liquid layer of clumpy, infectious shit
>try gingerly to clean up what I can manage
>I don't have the strength, and collapsing into a pile of my own shit from oxygen deprivation would not be a good thing to happen
>decide there's only one thing left to do
>stumble over to my bed
>press the call nurse button
Con't.
>>34899848
>I stand a few steps back, covering my dick with my hands
>door opens
>nurse walks in the door
>one of the most attractive female nurses I have ever seen, easy 8/10
>FUCK
>explain my situation
>she just stands there taking in the damage
>apologise profusely
>"it's fine."
>puts on a biohazard mask, gloves, full-body apron, shoe-covers
>comes back into the room
>starts mopping my mess up
>mfw still standing in the corner of the room completely naked, with a little bit of shit still on me
>mfw I just stand there unable to move or do anything as this incredibly attractive woman cleans up something right out of a kindergarten teacher's worst nightmare
>mfw after she's done and I'm back in bed I hear her recanting the story to the other attractive female nurses also working that night
Ulcerative colitis. On loads of sick drugs, on an average day once morning, once early evening, once late evening, between 0 and 2 times throughout the night. Hard to make gains brehs.
Once every 3-4 days. I'm just a 5'8 manlet runner though who eats 1-1.2k cals a day.
>>34899877
>mfw after she's done and I'm back in bed I hear her recanting the story to the other attractive female nurses also working that night
What a bitch.
>>34899877
I kek'd
>Like 4 times a day, specially just 5 minutes before leaving home, it allways makes me arrive late everywhere.
Used to poo once a day before eating 4-5 pieces of fruit a day, nuts, and benas on a daylee and some vegies. I will not get colon cancer but what´s the point if i am going to waste 1 total year of my life in the toilet?
>tfw so constipated that I get naseous
I haven't pooped in 3 days
It's not too bad actually, I blame drinking grease though
Ever since I started taking creatine I've been shitting 4-5 times a day, it's horrible. Is my body gonna get used to taking it soon?
>>34901391
Off-topic but does creatine count as non-natty?
>>34901404
Nope
>>34901404
yes
I poop about once per week. Are your shits tiny that you're able to shit even twice a day?
>>34901391
You're taking too much bro. 5g a day is fine.
Maybe once every 2-3 days.
I'm 19 losing weight.
I think I have a problem
>>34898843
i poop once every 32 hours about. Recently i've had to hold shits until mom comes home. She invited a homeless lady to live with us, but i know she's criminally insane. When my dog was on his deathbed, me and my brother were mourning his pass, she was walking around us, up and down the stairs with a purse, talking to herself, and then went outside and sat on a chair.
This bitch refuses to leave, i haven't gone to work in 2 fucking weeks because this cunt nigger faggot wont kill herself already. 26 years old and she is squatting at my fucking house when we cant even afford to eat out. Women are literally fucking retarded, and if i was a betting man, moms probably the reason i despise women for anything but their vaginas.
I washed all the liquids down the sink, i think she poisoned them. She might have killed my dog the night before his death, and she prevented me from laying next to him as he passed because i'm sure she would have stolen from my room had i not been there at night. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking she's watching me through the crack in my door, and that my mother is dead in her room and im next.
I looked up how to make cyanide, she cant stay here for another week, i wont allow that. I kicked her out yesterday when mother was working(and i was guarding the house for another day), and the cunt came back like an aids infested niggerang bikey boy. I'm going insane, I've never hated someone so badly before.
I think i could get away with it, nobody would care about a homeless nigger.
pic related, wake me up.
i cant wake up.
first thing in the morning and around 8pm. like clockwork.
was about to walkout the door for the gym when mr. poop said nope.
get comfy on toilet, browse fit and whammo here is this thread.
once or twice a day.
>>34901922
how the fuck
>>34899877
lol'd like a muhfucka
5'6.5" manlet here. Bulking on around 3200 calories at the moment. Drop a deuce at least 2 times a day. Morning. Mid-late afternoon - sometimes twice in the afternoon. Sometimes early evening if I didn't late afternoon.
>>34898843
2x a day, clockwork
>>34901742
m-m-me too
>deuce bros?
