I'll preface this story by saying that I've always had a pansy stomach.
>Be at work
>decide to take preworkout as I leave since I always go directly to gym
>haven't eaten anything all day besides big breakfast, it's currently 5
>get nauseous on drive there
>get progressively sicker the closer I get to the gym
>pull up to gym
>eyes begin to water
>my head draws into shoulders like frightened tortoise
>pleasegodno.jpeg
>grab backpack and empty it quickly
>open backpack right as head lurches forward
>projectile vomit with the force of 10,000 Courtney Loves
>vomit won't stop
>live out a million lifetimes vomiting into this backpack
>finally stop
>I'm just leaning against the steering wheel defeated
>slowly muster enough strength to check backpack
>backpack is filled to the top with rancid yellow vomit
>begin to panic
>just open door and drop backpack in gym parking lot
>quickly speed away to run from shame
>finally get on interstate about 8 miles away
>beginning to feel like a human again
>focus on nothing but getting home
>I hear honking
>elderly couple next to me is waving wildly
>assume its alzheimers so I keep driving
>drive about 15 miles to gas station near home for water
>open door and hear a plop
>look down to see vomit filled backpack
>i slammed the very bottom of my door on the backpack strap
>essentially created a large throw-up kite
>i turn to see that the entire side of my car is coated in yellow vomit
>it's everywhere
>still no clue how I didn't notice the jackson pollock being created on my vehicle
>mfw i've drug a vomit filled backpack 20 miles at 75 mph.
Gym/Pre-gym fail thread.
why not just throw up on the ground like a non-autistic person?
>>36718862
>>36718862
My god
I guess I can post this one, as it does involve the gym sort of.
>be me
>middle school
>morning time before classes start, stomach begins to rumble violently
>run to bathroom and let out an explosion that would put Mount Vesuvius to shame
>finish my burden and proceed to first class
>halfway through first class, stomach comes back with a vengeance.
>WakeMeUp.jpeg
>spend a solid minute attaining hall pass.
>the intestinal volcano of fury waits for no man
>halfway through pulling pants down when
>cantwakeup.jpeg
>shit EVERYWHERE. Shit explodes, hits the toilet, wall behind me, and gets all over the inside of my pants and shoes.
>middle school brain can't go to office and call home, parents are at work, they'll kill me
>sit through my next 6 classes in my own cesspool of shame and disgust
>girl in front of me actually gets blamed and sent home in second period
>IAmABeaconofSin.jpeg
>eventually have to lift weights in football period
>older brother sees my shit stained socks in locker room, asks what the fuck is going on
>can't look him in the eye
Mfw I went through an entire day of school covered in my own fecal matter and a girl was blamed for it, and the only person who knows it was me is my brother. We laugh to this day about how aspie I used to be
>>36719530
Where do you think you are? /fit/ is literally a board of aspies trying to lift away the feels and autism
>>36719576
I'm aware I'm one of them
but even autistic people should realize they can open the door and puke outside of your backpack
>>36719564
>>36718862
Holy fuck my sides. The autism is strong
>>36719588
Fair enough. I want to hear OP's reasoning desu. I want to know his train of thought.
Not quite as aspie or gym related but
>be me this past summer
>go out downtown for a friends birthday, get very drunk
>Group of about 20 of us go out for brunch the next morning
>tfw think I'm not that hungover and pretty hungry
>order a burger
>one bite and immediate regret
>can feel myself getting sicker and sicker
>as I'm trying to fight off throwing up group of friends gives birthday friend a book of things we all wrote in
>Can't fight it off
>panic and get up in the middle of this birthday moment
>make it halfway across the patio of the restaraunt
>place is packed, I'm talking at least 50-60 people eating outside
>Proceed to projectile all over the patio
>sprint inside
>barely make it to the one man (thank god) bathroom and proceed to paint the walls with vomit
>only had some watermelon and a caesar so far so vomit is bright red
>mfw I stayed in the bathroom for 45 minutes and then left
>be at work
>junior high science teacher
>end of prep period, first group of students to arrive in t-5 minutes
>get the serious mudbutt feeling
>gottafart.png
>it's a shart
>Mission Impossible mode engage
>go to student bathroom (faculty bathroom is way across building)
>quickly remove boxer briefs
>shit out last poo remains
>don pants
>bell rings
>bundle underwear in paper towel and hide in trash can
>go teach kids about Newton's Laws of Motion
>rapidly
>>36719530
Because he would have to clean that shit up off the ground
>>36719696
nobody would make him clean up after throwing up in a gym parking lot
>>36719693
It makes me kinda happy that there are retards who browse 4chan that teach our children
>>36719564
Might as well
>middle school
>feel sick and really need to shit
>need it so much i turn pale
>ask teacher to go to the toilet
>this school had these old toilets that didnt have doors on the entrances, imagine something like roman baths with a common hallway and splitting in male and female section
>sections had individual toilets that had doors naturally, but had open high walls between them
>see hot girls hanging in their toilet hallway
>know they will hear me shitting and decide to pretend i pissed and just wash my face with cold water to freshen up
>at this point go back and so sick i ask teacher to leave the class and go home
>she says im very pale and got the flu
>heh
>make it hallfway home before it got really bad
>start sprinting home while crying and having liquid shit dribble down my leg
>feel shit dribbling down my socks
>cold weather hardens the hot shit that dares peek down my pants
>of course we had guests at home
>run straight in the bathroom and proceed to throw my clothes in the tub and wash the shit caked socks
>literally had to change everything because somehow managed to literally shit up all of my clothes
>mom found out and said that shit happens
Also there was one time just before an operation where I had to take a shit, there was no toilet paper and I proceeded to wipe my ass with a used pad from a can. It was fucking disgusting and I wanted to cry.
Never hold in your shit kids, finish the deed before you go anywhere.
>>36719725
This is a true story.
I do teach kids and browse 4chan.
In a way it helps me keep a pulse on the heartbeat of the memes that the kids love.
Of course, I have been on here since like 2008 so take that how you will...
>>36719530
I entered panic mode and wasn't really thinking straight. Looking back that would of been a better choice.
>>36718862
>>36719768
Tbh wish you could teach my children senpai
>>36719768
how does it feel knowing that you've probably called some of your students faggots on this site?
>>36719768
but seriously I bet you're a pretty cool teacher, science teachers always are
I was never really a sperg as a child, but there were a few moments that make me feel like I was one.
>first grade, about 8 or 9
>eat chicken nuggets from the school cafeteria, usually bring my own lunch
>we have recess right after lunch
>shit myself during recess
>go back to class, teacher asks if somebody stepped in dog shit
>sitting in class festering in my own feces
>eventually ask to go to the nurse and waddle my way there
>the nurse gives me a spare change of underwear and pants
>end of the day, about to get on the bus to get home (it was an hour ride between my house and the school)
>shit myself again right before I get on the bus
>sit through the hour long bus ride swimming in liquidy shit
>mfw
Thinking about it now, I've actually had an excessive amounts of sperg moments.
>>36719799
I love teaching science and I don't tolerate bullshit so yeah send me your kids I will teach them about power versus force and proper training
>>36719803
Faggots need to be called faggots. This is tough love and the goal of good teaching should be to teach the kids more than just how to be a scientist. I hope and pray that my students who are faggots will learn the error of their ways and see truth;
>>36719812
I am cool unless you are a lazy douchebag in my class
Thread reminds me of WOAH NELLY
>WOAH NELLY inbound
I guess I'll post this
it doesn't have anything to do with fitness, but it does have to do with shitting which this thread seems to be about
> always had a pretty weak stomach
> smoked a bunch of weed
> starts to grumble but dont think anything of it
> going to hang out with a qt I know
> while we're walking to her house in the middle of the night, my stomach starts getting its jimmies rustled
> tell her I gotta shit cause of the weed
> go to side of road
> prop myself on a little retaining wall
> openthefloodgates.jpeg
> use my socks and underwear as toilet paper
> go to her house
> wash myself off a little more
> still got my dick sucked
It was a good night, but thinking about her brings me lots of feels
>>36718862
1/2
>freshman year of high school
>nearing end of period 6
>class before is weights, 5'7 skelly who could barely lift the bar
>iffy taco tuesday with a protein bar
>sitting next to qt asian foreign exchange student that i liked
>begin to rip rancid farts, the likes of any fat man could only hope to dream of creating
>stomach feels fucking awful
>get out of class late due to asshole teacher
>so afraid of being tardy to class that I walk straight over there, we had short as fuck passing periods as it was
>sitting in class watching a video on ebola, stomach feels awful the entire time
>begin to feel a warmth in my bowls
>oh fuck oh fuck
>raise hand to get teachers attention, he looks at me but says nothing
>begin to wave it around
>no response
>too scared if I were to rush to the bathroom if he would yell at me
>try holding back the volcano of raging lava shit
>look at clock, class isn't even close to over yet
>hear people behind me complaining about an awful smell
>sweating
>butt losing its strength
>oh god i can't keep this up much longer
>clock
>30 minutes left
>oh fuck oh fuck
>>36719961
2/2
>butt gives out, molten shit spews everywhere in my pants
>people laughing, complaining about the literal sewer in my pants
>sweating profusely, 1000-yard stare
>completely lose cognitive abilities to be able to deal with this amount of humiliation and shame
>30 minutes of this passes by
>time to leave
>supposed to stack chairs, just sit in mine with the same stare
>either that or get up and let everyone see my shit stain
>as class empties, teacher says "uhhhh, anon.... you can go now."
>girls giggle
>"o-ok.."
>slowly get up, walk shamefully in front of a bunch of girls and chad behind me, saying "oh my goddddd" and laughing
>get to the restroom, stay in there for a good hour and throw my underwear in the trash
>clean off my shit-covered legs as best I could, pants completely stained
>had to hide it with my backpack, traversed the school metal gear style and walked home through a bunch of wilderness
>didn't go back to school for 2 weeks, never wore that shirt again
>>36719973
Holy shit
So I guess shitting yourself is normal at some point in your life, thanks guys
Op here. Thread is now soiling yourself thread, no gym required. Got a feces story.
>Eat at ruby tuesdays, disgusting place gives me food poisoning.
>don't leave house for over a week
>constantly spewing liquid magma from both ends
>finally get well enough to leave house
>decide to go to mall
>walk for around 15 minutes when the rage hits me
>start looking for bathroom
>search continues more fervently
>finally make it to a sears and know they have one in the back
>by this time the dams beginning to burst and the villagers are looking for higher ground
>honestly look for dressing room to vacate bowels
>manage to make it to bathroom without ruining some woman's shopping trip
>drop pants before im even in the stall
>bend over to commence communing with the spirits
>dont even make contact with toilet seat
>its like a shotgun goes off
>coats the entire wall and sides of the stall in feces
>literally none makes it in toilet
>dont know what to do
>decide to shimmy to next stall and close the door
>hear people approach door
>can tell by voice its an elderly black man and a kid
>first thing kid says when he opens the door, "oo it smells bad in here."
>hear them shuffle to front stall
>elderly man says," Oh god, oh god, we got to get out of here."
>child says," but i got to go."
> man replies," I dont care what you got junior, we leaving."
>i manage to clean myself up decently and check the first stall
>crap stalactites hanging all over stall
>im sure I made a janitor quit
>>36720109
God in heaven I just spat out my water at work
