>St. Peter lets you in
>they have 144,000 hex bars

>the free coconut bodywash is not only coconut scented but also coconut flavored

>>37683820
the dream

Chalk is not only allowed but mandatory.

Anyone who calls Low bar squats Rippletoe squats is immediately sent to Purgatory.

curls in the squat rack

Everyone has their own station to do strip sets of preacher curls with the ez bar

>>37683718
>tfw Jesus benches 5 plates at 135 lb.
>Moses accuses him of using dat dere holy spirit for gains
>Peter denies this 3 times and goes on to do hanging leg raises
>Jesus is a permavirgin with a autism but outlifts everyone in the Sacred Garden despite doing crossfit
>Samson is more aesthetic and gets more women but Jesus is has found peace in knowing that the Father is better than high test Maria Magdalena
>Jesus proceeds to rep out 5 plates without too much effort
>Jesus' face when nowhere in the bible does it say that he DIDN'T bench 495

>0 calorie delicious butter milk bisuits

>>37683933
that's awesome.

>all the late 40s cardio bunnies are now early 20s cardio bunnies but just as thirsty

>walk through the gates
>there is a bear machine
>you are so happy
>look right behind it
>they also have a bulldog machine

Hi, I'm Jack LaLane and I'll be your spotter.

>>37683718
DIXIE DERRICK GONNA CRUSH THE COMMIES!