>received a missed call from a job I recently got
>too scared to phone them back
>go outside to do it
>"hi I missed a call from you about the job I think it's relevant" wtf
>she says "oh is this (myname)?"
>I say yes
>"Hi (myname)"
>I say "Hi (myname)"
>she tells me my start date
>I cut her off by going "thanks ok thanks bye bye thanks"
>put phone back in pocket
>drenched in sweat
this is literally me.... you may need to force socialization a little more in your everyday life to desensitize yourself
>>37678116
this
it's actually normal to have social problems if you're never socializing...
you need to socialize to slowly feel comfortable with it
/thread
>>37678116
>>37678138
Worried they might take back their job offer saying as I was such a social autist, they might think it was rudeness or something. The job is a relatively social job dealing with customers.
>>37678095
The guys below are wrong, youve got straight up social phobia mate, ive had it and it wasnt as bad as what youre describing. What solved it was half a year on antidepressants, srids or ssid or whatever it was called, basically serotonin supplement. It made me crazy confident, like stare people straight in the eyes during confrontations without a second though kind of confident. But i knew its bad for me, there is a lot about ssris people dont mention, its a short term solution with massive side effects in short term and not fully understood long term effects. After I stopped it all got worse. From then on it was basically intensive self analysis and positive thinking and "fake it till you make it" for 2 years straight. Today im pretty normal, its mostly gone and honestly its empowering to know i did on my own. Ill never be completely normal, but nobody ever gets over stuff like this completely. Do what you will with this blog post, i hope you faggots get past it like i did.
I was the same way, still am a bit, but not nearly as bad. What worked for me was actually smoking weed. Before you say >DUDE >WEED you should try it. It wont mess with gains or anything, it's really not that bad. Go buy some decent weed and on a night where you don't have much going on stay home, smoke enough and just think about your life and your behavior. I found that thinking about myself while high was very useful in evaluating my life objectively and figuring out what exactly I needed to do to improve it. Watch a movie or TV show with a character you want to emulate, you'll pick up on all sorts of nuanced behavior. Then just try to emulate it yourself.
It sounds stupid, but really just try it. if it doesn't work so what, but if it works something like how it did for me, it really helps with social awkwardness.
>>37678169
>The job is a relatively social job dealing with customers.
you mean you're a fucking cashier at a fast food lol
that's not a big deal what you did i do it all the time when i get calls from work they dont care they just want you to know
>>37678230
>below
go back to plebbit
>>37678095
damn I thought I was socially awkward but you're making me feel a little bit better, thanks anon
>>37678278
>Watch a movie or TV show with a character you want to emulate,
what movies do you like, i dont watch a lot of tv or movie
>>37678095
okay let me make this simple for you.
lifting doesnt make you more confident.
lifting doesnt make you less autistic.
lifting doesnt make you more attractive
having an jacked and asthetic physique makes you more confident.
having an jacked and asthetic physique makes you less autistic.
having an jacked and asthetic physique makes you more attractive.
Do you think picking things up and putting them down again will fix your life?
No, but looking like pic related will.
Do you think you can have that body and be an introverted sperg? Yes maybe, 1 in a million.
Stop saying: " lifting doesnt help" because he was never supposed to fix anything in your life.
Stop lifting, and start building a jacked physique
>ur all faggots, 10/10 for making me type this even though its painfully obvious
>>37678230
I had it as bad as the OP or even worse. I cringe even thinking about how I was then. So I don't. Anyway, what helped in my case was exposition to things that made me panic, time and self analysis, like in your case.. I did it without drugs, but it took shitload of time (way more than two years). Maybe some psychotherapy would help him.
>>37678431
Anyway, to add to that, I skipped over the fact, that OP found a job. It's really important step, because of exposition (which I should have had more of) and he's on a good way.
>>37678431
>>37678451
>exposition
exposure is the word you're looking for
>>37678116
Go to gym and do this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znLmhdx0STc
Force yourself to do a little bit of socialization that you wouldn't normally engage in everyday. Gym is great place to start. if your heart races/etc that's good
>>37678519
yeah, maybe
thanks for triggering in me a panic attack of incorrect grammar, jackass
>>37678095
Tbh Familia you gotta force yourself into social interactions to overcome your crippling social anxiety no way around it. So what if people think your a retard... fuck them... you won't get comfortable with yourself if you keep avoiding it. I've had my fair share of cringe moments but I'm glad I went thru with them because now if I say or do something stupid I don't give 2 fucks. I know who I am and I don't let people pleasing scare me.. if they feel me then they feel me if not then that's okay too... it's just people anon. Nothing to be scared about just fucking act like your normal self and people around you that are worth it will respect you for that.
>>37678095
And another thing I work in service industry I'm a server.. before I was, I did alot of social interactions to get me comfortable with conversing with people, but after being a server for so long your forced to socialize with every type of person under the sun... young or old, hot or ugly, man or woman... and becuase of that forced interactions I learn I grow and I have no problem having a lenthy convo with a complete stranger... u just got to throw yourself in there and remember that it will get better.. it's like a muscle you got to work out.
>>37678416
>Do you think you can have that body and be an introverted sperg? Yes maybe, 1 in a million
>1 in a million
Spend an hour going through the fraud archives and try to defend that.
>how do I get better at X
>I've been working my ass of doing Y and it just hasn't worked!
if you want to get better at socializing, socialize
>>37679476
>I've been working at x and y
>everyone says x+y=z
>why am I not getting z?
>>37679495
Becuase saying hi and then retreating to the shadows isn't working on x at all... practice on keeping a convo alive you autistic fuck
>>37678095
There's already some good advice, but you also need to manage your expectations, you'll never get rid of social anxiety completely. It's normal to feel awkward here and there, because you might have said something that can be misunderstood, sound weird and so on. I've noticed this in my classmates in college, mostly girls, most of them are socially very comfortable (many friends, talk, express emotions fluently etc.), but even then when they have to, for example, call our teacher and schedule a class earlier, the call is just... weird if I am hearing it as a bystander, because they also don't know exactly how to present themselves, what to say, how to initiate the call etc. I'm not a socially active person or very comfortable with people for reasons other than just anxiety, but these kind of calls for me are a piece of cake.
We all got our weak and strong sides, just remember that some anxiety is normal and you should be working on how to deal with the aftermath stress, experiment on people you are more comfortable with, minimize the ruminating mind that keeps telling you that you fucked up, and to do that you must get creative, this post is long enough. Understand that it's not as bad as it is, for example, do you think she haven't heard nervous people on the phone before? She probably understood your nervousness and even if she didn't, she will forget about it after 1 minute and won't care and even if she didn't, the chances of you losing the job on a phone call that gives you your starting date is close to none and you can keep rationalizing this until the end of time until there is nothing to fear.
You should manage your fears, they are irrational and with time you can see past them, you must give it thought, time and practice and you are going to be okay.
>>37679045
Well first off, that's not grammar.
Second off, exposition could mean "explaining a situation", I thought that's what you meant. As in you talked yourself through situations.
Third off, he was just correcting you. And you may hinge on that moment for a long time, but he's already forgotten. Everyone else has a life, anon. No one is that concerned about you, and it has nothing to do with who you are but everything to do with they have to deal with themselves. It will help you alot to remember that 99% of the fuck ups you make, no one will remember. There is no pressure bro. Just shrug it off. If you mess up, who cares? But when you succeed, everyone will care. Happiness is the most fulfilling accomplishment of all time.
Im trying to hire an escort but i dont want to get robbed/arrested. What are some tips?
Holy shit this used to be me. I used to spend all of my time playing video games alone then I'd go to the gym and lift alone in solitude. With this kind of lifestyle I would always sperg out every time I had to interact with someone or anytime I was near a female. Thank god I manage to fix myself.
The more you practice talking to and interacting with people the easier it will become.
>>37680632
I was just joking, lol. Also I'm obviously not native english speaker, so pardon my english.
I can't hold conversation except when telling someone off.
>>37678278
>Watch a movie or TV show with a character you want to emulate, you'll pick up on all sorts of nuanced behavior. Then just try to emulate it yourself.
You have no idea how right you are.I noticed this the first time I watched game of thrones high and noticed how alpha every male was (1st season)
>>37680632
Word choice is grammar though, you fucking moron
All you have to do is fake it to make it. Just lie to yourself and pretend to have confidence.
I feel like I should chime in as I have some experience with this. At the beginning of last summer, I got redpilled really hard on why I was a fucking beta loser that got no female attention. I moved into my my buddies house from my parents, (My only friend) and my social anxiety got 1000000% better. The difference was night and day. Just being around other people I actually gave a fuck about was so refreshing. At the end of the summer I moved back in with my parents, friend went into the military, so now im pretty much back at square one. I sperg out anytime I have social contact besides with my girlfriend.
Anyone reading this, ask yourself this. Do you think your problems could be rooted in the fact that you live with your parents? Is it because you have no social contact besides this imageboard? Both these things are true for me. I'm working on moving out into an apartment now. Were all gonna make it.
>>37678095
Lmfao
that's because nothing outside of your own personal strength is going to "make" you anything.
stop being a victim of fate.
>>37678095
Jesus christ this is me. I've given up 3 job offers already this month because I was too scared to answer the phone and had to rationalize to myself why this job would suck. I wish I was dead
>>37684323
OP here, I was too scared to go to the interview, ended up getting two interviews in a day and having to interact with a grill at reception and too scared to phone them back to get my start date. Done it all anyway and now I've got a pretty comfy robot job, just do it m8.
>>37678416
>lifting doesnt make you more confident.
You've never lifted hard enough to get a dopamine hit. You've never hit so many PR's in one session that you leave with a seriously amphetamine-like high. You've never exerted yourself enough for your body to flood your brain with endorphins to make you calm and relaxed.
If you suffer from this you have an irrational fear. You basically need to drag the fear out into the sunlight and expose it as being irrational. I mean you have to realize that people can say nasty things to you, but so what? It's not like your a hostage in a bank during a holdup. Perhaps meet with some friends and start throwing insults back and forth. Then have a friend bring in a stranger and start practicing with him. Pull the dark beast out of the closet and expose it for what it is. Nothing. And while you're doing this work on your ability to defend yourself and be just as much an asshole as the assholes around you. Apparently, in life, assholes go farther and are respected more for being that way than nice people. Just look at the Presidential election. Bunch of Major Assholes that are bulletproof to criticism!
>>37678278
Truth fampai.
I was socially broken until tenth grade which is when I started smoking weed. It let me slow down enough that I could slowly become more comfortable with people. Plus it made me want to socialize more because I don't like to always smoke alone.
Reaching that point where I'm getting bored with it so I'll eventually drop it all together. I guess once I started getting pussy again recently I haven't smoked as much.
>>37684537
>robot job
Found everyone's problem. Being comfy isn't right. The human body only grows outside of its comfort zone and the same follows with your mental gains. Go fucking do something and drop the fear of death or being turned down. Once I realized that I had to try or it would never happen I started biting the fucking bullet.
>>37678169
good that should help with social anxiety, I had a cashier job for 6 months and after a while I just didnt give a fuck, talked shit to the customers and flirted with any qts that came in
>>37683444
>mfw this is me
>>37680647
Dont be a fuckin pussy
Cures for social anxiety:
>walk into drugstore (far away from where you live) and in front of other people, in a loud voice:
>ask "Excuse me, do you have any extra small condoms"
>or "excuse me, do you have lubrication, the anal kind, for men"
>etc embarrassing stuff
You will feel like you are about to self destruct. And you will. What will remain is you with all your social anxiety burned off.
>The art of not giving a shit
>>37678095
OP if you want to improve just start with somthing realy simple find a busy street and just walk around asking people for the time, after you have done that 10-20times start asking for directions and make the conversations more and more complicated untill you get more and more comfortable realy easy way to sort this problem out OP
>>37678095
I know these feels. I often read emails 10 times before sending them to make sure I haven't made a mistake and the other person is able to understand the content.
When someone is looking at me, or I have the feeling someone is looking at me, I have to focus on not walking funny.
Lifting helped me to gain some confidence, but often my mind just goes nuts in social situations and I freak out.
