>>37620826

You already eating big, son. Now it is time to lift heavy and enjoy sweet gains.

>>37620826
also keep in I'm mentally ill

I've sent to two psychiatric wards for trying to kill myself

my dad died when I was 5

my psychiatrist diagnosed me as a borderline

and worst of all i was raised by a single mother

>>37620858
I've already started lifting since I started my weight loss
it's the only thing I enjoy these days

>>37620866
Just blame your mother

>>37620918
I already do some times unfortunately

I appreciate all the work she puts into trying to raise a family of 5 kids, but why would you come to America and have 5 kids in the first place when you aren't educated and your husband has a history of health complications

I mean for fucks sake she had 5 kids just because she wanted a daughter, how selfish is that when you know you wouldn't be able to fully provide for them

please help me /fit/
my therapists have all been useless
dbt is useless
cbt is even more useless
I don't know what to do anymore I'm at my wits end

>>37621023
>>37621023
Don't be at home so often. Go out and do things.

>>37620826

>it's like if I eat something that I think is unhealthy I tell myself that I'm a failure and I fucked up so I might as well fuck up even more and eat like a pig

I started at 430 pounds. That's the exact mindset that held me back from getting any lower than 280. When I fucked up my shoulder and lost all my gains, my binge eating took me all the way back up to 375 before I got a hold of myself.

Currently at 230. There were two things that helped me defeat it.

The first took months of addressing my relationship with food - seeing it as fuel rather than pleasure.

The second was resetting my palate. For two months I ate nothing but unflavored whey and unsalted chicken breast. After those two months I found myself unable to stand even a few ounces of soda, for example. Or more than spoonful of Ben and Jerry's. My sense of taste and smell became extremely sharp.

The other suggestion I can make is to plan out your binging.

Take on a cycling ketogenic diet. During the week keep to a 500-700 calorie deficit - high protein, moderate fat, low carbohydrates. One day a week eat whatever the fuck you want. As long as you keep your binging to the refeed day you can use it to help you cut fat and build muscle mass at the same time.

If you want the science behind it, find a copy of Lyle McDonald's Ultimate Diet 2.0. It's a little more complicated then a 6/1 split, but it works.

I would actually suggest a combination of the two.

Cook your own meals and meal prep for the week. Eat the exact same thing for 6 days - that will give you perfect macros and calorie total. No snacking - drink water/tea/club soda instead.

Then you have your one day a week to go hog-fucking-wild. Hopefully this will accomplish two things - it gives you a release to indulge in your pleasure, while at the same time it gives you a defense against fucking up during the week.

Over time, start planning out the calories and what you eat on your binge days.

Good luck, brother.

>>37621114
thank you for your support man
I've been trying similar stuff into finding "work arounds" or "cheats" to my BED
personally I've been doing IF to mimic the binging by having small feeding windows of huge portions

the thing is though, I'm not particularly addicted to sweets when binging. one of the many things I binged on today was unsalted crackers dipped in spicy guacamole
I don't even like crackers or guacamole I just ate it because it was there

Start by binging on vegetables and fruit

Fills you up fast as fuck and even if you do eating 3 brocollis the calories won't nearly destroy your progress as much

>>37620866

Sorry to hear all this. Sounds like youre using it as an excuse to fuel your additcion, though, and generally by looking at things from your past to justify the shit you do now youre setting yourself up to continue to do that. I was raised fat by a single mother who was physically and mentally abusive, I was sexually molested as a kid and raped 3 times from 13 to 18. I had to raise my siblings at 14, forcing me to drop out of school to do that as well as care for my mother who at the time had recently became a cripple. I had to find a job and pay off her shit house. I had to take care of my neices and nephews when my sister popped out a bunch, and then at 17 my mother kicked me out and wouldnt let me back in because I told her I wanted to go to school. My life spiraled for a few years, i ballooned to 275 and I had major depression. Then I said fuck it, moved to NY over night to stay with someone I met online, lost a shitton of weight, finished school, got married and a bunch of other great shit. Stop sitting in the past blaming your present on it. Just fix yourself. Stop lying to yourself that food makes it better. Just fucking moderate yourself.

Also I started smoking weed.

>>37621321
damn I'm glad to hear that you're doing better now

you're right though, there is no special trick
I just need to control and take responsibility for my actions; I must moderate myself

>>37621217
Eat a HUGE steak for breakfast every day and then snack on meat like corned beef, spam and beef jerky. The fat of the steak will satiate you and provide energy without any carb-crash and you'll find yourself less inclined to gorge, also steak is delicious. A $3.50 chuck steak fried for a few minutes on super-high heat until it's a little crisp on the outside but wet and soft inside is one of the greatest pleasures a man can experience