Hit a deer in Wyoming. Car is totalled. Middle of nowhere. Lying in an irrigation canal, slowly being eaten by fire ants. Rations consists of two clif crunch bars. How will this affect my gains?
>>37508806
>Middle of nowhere
>At least 5 buildings visible in the photo
/sage
You have to make some, first.
Ask the ants for relative strength gains you idiot
1800AAAHELP
Fuck the deer carcass for maximum gains
>>37508806
Ants like most insects are a good source of Protein.
>>37508835
Is this meat gonna have good lean protein?
>>37508806
>skinny legs
You must have been trapped there for weeks.
>>37508835
this
you got natures bounty right here. first activate your primal fight or flight instinct and fuck that carcass to reassert dominance over the situation and get that healing test flowing. PS he/she might not be dead yet so strangle it while fucking if you have too. now this beautiful little package is going to be your lifeline while waiting for help. soon the sun is really going to bring out the juices for you to drink. you can always nibble off a chunk or two. if help takes multiple days and your wounds are looking bad just lay in the carcass until the maggots clean your wounds better than any doctor (deer does not care about health insurance)
you will make it, son
>>37508858
Deer meat is great lean protein
>>37508858
30 grams of protein and 3.2 grams of fat per 100g, senpai. Better get to eating
>Wyoming
Why aren't you driving a big fucking truck with a cattle guard on it?
>>37508806
Use your battery to make threads across all boards until someone gives you good advice
>>37508916
Probably just passing through
>>37508806
>dem legs
wat gains?
Third hour. Rations are gone, and the last of the Gatorade. Sun is scorching. Our ride who was coming to save us isn't responding. Post your best hobo recipes
Judging by those legs you don't have any gains to worry about
>>37509174
my hobo recipes involve stealing from gas stations or grocery stores, if you're not an urban hobo you're a pioneer.
Anon do you need a ride? I'm in colorado...
>>37509174
>trump supporter
That's what you get you cuck, hope the vultures rapes you before eating your twink body.
>>37509174
>knockoff trump hat
The God-Emperor would be displeased. Get your shit together and buy the real deal to MAGA.
It won't. Judging from your bitch legs, you have none to lose.
>>37510120
>cuck
you're not using that word correctly
>>37510120
>a cuck trying to call others cucks as if that will no longer make him a cuck.
you've got lmaolololing
>>37508858
>deer the size of a dog
>"car's totalled"
this is what really happened
>be OP, 16yo, no license, no car, no bike cause nigga stole it and now I shitpost on /pol/
>going for my morning fix of cock at the trailer park 'cause gargantuan faggot
>find dead deer on the road
>haha gunna troll sum 4chinzs
>>37511098
Yeah okay.
>>37511201
>american cars
>>37511201
Kek.
Try to eat the ants.
>>37511210
It's asian dumbass
>>37511201
you can just chain the frame to another car and put it in reverse to pull out the cross frame. might need to get new fenders on the sides+ bumper + hood + headlight. see if anyone is parting out one in your area.
>>37511210
>what is IHSA
New cars are intended to fall apart. They do seem a little on the fragile side more and more these days.
So all those buildings are abandoned or what? Did you check?
>>37508806
>Those legs
You won't lose any gains because you didn't have any to start with.
>>37511361
REKT
>>37511201
>Totaled
Put the bumped in the back and limp the car to the nearest settlement to trade for furs, food, and spices, you fucking idiot.
It's like you've never played Oregon Trail.
>>37511201
Scion boxmobile
Absolutely disgusting
U deserved it OP
Better break into those emergency semen rations factory equipped on thise twinkmobiles
>>37511210
do you know how physics work? serious question
>>37511375
>>37511361
Don't samefag you idiot, you're the fifth person to make that joke
>inb4 inept retard thinks mspainting the (you) away will fool anyone besides other newfags
>>37511201
wtf how could all that damage come from hitting a deer. I smashed a wall with my fiat stilo going 150km/h and it still had less damage than that.
well maybe not, but not by much.
>>37508806
judging by your legs, you've never had gains
>>37511391
>It's like you've never played Oregon Trail.
>>37511344
This.
Fucking pisses me off the entire car is a crumple zone designed to literally self destruct at any impact over 5MPH. Just give me a fucking steel car I don't care if I get bounced around inside I want to be able to drive after a 12MPH collision in a parking lot
>>37511439
>Fiat
Fix it again, Tony.
>>37511392
It's not my car desu. I'm with the driver.
Also, you're all right, my legs are trash.
>>37511436
Stop wasting you battery on reverse trolling and go blow someone in that trailer park for a ride to the nearest town.
>>37508858
>>37511469
In the first picture, the deer is off the side of the road. In the second, it's in the middle of the road.
Explain.
>>37511468
>hue hue hue
>>37510120
You don't seem to understand the word cuck
>>37508806
>those legs
>gains
try again faggot
>>37508806
Call a tow truck and a cab to the next city. Rent one or wait until your car is fixed.
>>37511412
>do you know how physics work? serious question
>>37511488
The police officer dragged it to the side of the road. The tow guy seemed interested to see if there was any salvageable meat, so I went back with him, at which point I gave it the finger.
Also here's another pic of my sexy legs cuz I kno y'all enjoying.
>>37511561
>>37509174
I hope the fire ants eat you fag
>>37511210
>American
>Scion
M8 your literally retarted
>>37511895
>retarted
>>37511561
>The tow guy seemed interested to see if there was any salvageable meat
Fucking americans. Even wold animals have to starve for your gluttony
>>37508819
You have clearly never been to wyoming.
You can be in the middle of nowhere on main street.
>>37511000
>>37511010
>>37511511
>trump supporters think he isn't using them for the benefit of his own narcissism
>>37511573
Underrated
>>37512912
Why waste meat that's good and fresh? Eating roadkill is very economical. And unless the organs are splashed, leaking fluid everywhere, there's likely nothing wrong with it.
