Does anyone else have families who exploit their attempts to get fit?
>Family are fucking fatasses
>Get takeaway 'food' 3 times per week
>I offer to make them a healthier version of their fast foods to prevent them wasting money
>Make them fish and chips
>Oven bake everything, use sweet potato for the chips
>they really like it
>they tell me I will have to do it again some time
>now everyday they wait for me to come home from work or the gym
>'the takeaway is here!'
>they run torwards me and demand I fucking cook for them
>I don't pay rent so I can't get out of it
>They have basically stopped seeing me as a person, they see me as a fucking takeaway menu
>they have photoshopped about half a dozen takeaway menus with my face on, for example my dad made a Chinese menu with pictures of me with a yellow fade and slanted eyes
>I have to cook them chow mein and other chink dishes at least twice a week
>was my birthday last week
>they bought me a new phone
>it is my 'takeaway phone'
>I have to carry it with me at all times to 'take their orders', basically they ring me when I am walking home and talk to me like a restaurant so I can buy the right ingredients
>dad 'misplaced' my keys, to get into the house I have to knock and say 'your food is here'
It is a fucking joke. I have no time for myself and as a result have started stress-eating candy and sweets and have lost gains. What the fuck do I do?
inb4 move, I can't afford it.
>>37471806
wow it kinda sounds like your family is dysfunctional
>>37471842
this anon it sounds like maybe your family doesn't respect you and you should move out
Start slipping lard in the food, little takeout goy.
Am I on /r9k/? This is insane..
>>37471806
>It is a fucking joke.
Too right mate, that's like something out of a bizarre sitcom. You need to shit down and have a firm but loving discussion with them about how this is completely not on.
If that doesn't work, get the fuck out of there asap.
If they can't cook, it sounds like you're being forced to in order to stay healthy.
It's a small price to pay I guess, but you should man the fuck up and confront them with your problem instead of whining and bitching on a chinese anime forum
implying this happened
post the chinese takeaway menu
>>37471806
You know how to cook right? Start selling yourself as a caterer for parties and stuff. Then once you get enough money, get the fuck out of that hell hole. Seriously, your family sounds mental.
I have the exact same problem OP
fucking kek
how long until they put you in the shed with an oven and a little slot to put orders in and food out
>>37471806
Either
1. Start paying rent
2. Start enjoying being a little chef boy
>>37471922
Yes because families should be totalitarian dictatorships where people can't respect each other and make compromises.
>>37471806
>they have photoshopped about half a dozen takeaway menus with my face on, for example my dad made a Chinese menu with pictures of me with a yellow fade and slanted eyes
Fucking kek, put lax in their food and when they shit themselves and ask what the fuck is going on, tell them some bullshit that fatties would believe like that they've become gluten intolerant from eating too much home cooked food.
Make large batches on the weekend for the week, they can pick and heat up their own food
>>37471806
Why don't you just teach them how to cook for themselves? Alternatively you could poison them.
>>37471806
I was gonna post about how I walked into the kitchen this morning to cook some eggs, tuna, and oats and found a huge box of donuts from this really good local place. But fuck op your family sounds hilarious.
>>37471936
You live for free you whiny little bitch
>>37471806
You're full of shit, faggot twink.
>>37471806
Give them food poisoning.
Wew lad, this is a fucking sitcom
>>37471806
Sounds like your family has a sense of humour perhaps you could understand if you weren't a robot.
>>37471936
Oh my God, you are /r9k/
Fuck off
>>37471806
HAHAHAHA sounds like they want you to get a job and fuck off
>>37472060
No, I live on my own, but "you don't pay rent therefore you have to do everything your parents say" is a completely fucking stupid philosophy spouted by people incapable of proper relationships with their family.
Post the menu or fuck off
>>37472060
That wasnt OP anon
>>37471890
this
>>37472345
Jesus, I apologise OP, I just read the second half of your greentext. Your family are fucking crazy.
Poison the food.
Take inheritance.
>>37472422
>>37472455
>>37472062
>>37471890
I mean if it really didnt happen, someone somewhere probably had to deal with something like this. People are selfish and dumb... This isn't all that unbelievable
>>37472060
To be fair not everyone lives in a country where you can live on your own by working in a mc donald's, shit, I have a good job and I could only pay the rent, let alone all the shit left to pay for, but hey, let's make the minimum salary so meager yoy HAVE to be married to pull it off!
>>37471806
>start cooking worse meals
>add no salt
>say it's the same as you normally make it
>add disgusting ingrediants
>say it's same as usual
>family stops wanting your food
>?????
>Profit
Holy shit, do you live under the stairs by chance?
>>37471806
Fake and gay
>>37471861
Its summer time. Few .ore months and the kiddos go back to school.
>>37471806
Someone better screencap this shit
I'd do it myself if i wasnt on my phone
>long day after a workout arrive home, take a bite and go to sleep
>around 2-3 am gf gets really horny and wakes me up by sucking my dick like a vacuum
>tired as fuck but cant deny her sex, end up wasting too much time resulting in me going to sleep at 5-6 am
>will to workout in the morning is gone and I feel really fucking wasted in the afternoons
What to do /fit/ I think she secretly wants to kill my gains, plus she gives me candy, buys pizza for dinner and bitches all the time so we can eat out every fucking day leaving her is not an option because she does anal
>>37472470
Once again I'm not the OP.
>>37471889
>Chinese knitting forum*
Fixed
Baked sweet potatoes have high glucemic index
>>37472567
Just enjoy the ride buddy. Eventually all your gains will end up her pooper but that's life
>>37472684
OP said they were part of a meal though. The glycemic load of one food is pretty much irrelevant when eaten as part of a meal. Changes things completely.
This has to be fake, otherwise emancipate yourself from your shitty family and GTFO.
>Using your kid as a cook-slave
wtf mang
Sounds like a good deal for free rent.
>>37471806
pls be real.
This is way too hilarious to be real.
>>37471806
Am I the only one whoes laughing his ass off while recognizing OP's dad as a top-banterman?
>>37473349
That pool is filthy. Barf.
>>37472567
why 2 am she gets horny? why not 9pm?
>>37472489
Go to bed OP.
Post the menu
>>37473932
He busy cooking rice for his senpai
This is kind of cute
It's like a male Cinderella
>>37471806
>>dad 'misplaced' my keys, to get into the house I have to knock and say 'your food is here'
>>37471806
>It is a fucking joke.
it is indeed a joke. quite amusing though. 7/10.
>>37472500
basically this, if you want to make food disgusting, just make sure there is no salt in any of the ingredients, and it will be bland as paper
>>37473025
depends on the cost of living in his area and what he would normally get from a job. For my rent & wage, if I spent more than 30-45 minutes on it each day, it wouldn't be a good deal.
That's about how long it takes me to prep food for myself + do all the cleanup afterwards, but if OP is doing it for several people, then it might take longer.
You are just extra food for them
Do you really think tgey don't stuf their faces with something else and then eat your food afterwards because "it's healthy, anon made it, it surely doesn't add to all the junk we devoured today
>i live with my family
>i dont like it
>rather than move out, i'll complain on fit
lol
Poor in progress/debt college fag here. My dad's a huge fast food junky. Luckily he's not this terrible. I just tell him to get his own food and I'll fix myself something which he hates, but whatever.
post the menus, takeaway man
>>37471806
i think you mean
>>37471806
old copypasta
>>37473349
muh dick
>>37473441
found the fag
it's called enablers OP, and its usually a psychological problem that they do without realising, force of habbit, ect.
My mum never said no growing up, even though she does gym classes 6 times a week and stays healthy, she's chill with buying me litres of sugar milk (ice coffee) at the store, fatty foods, ect.
I lost 26kg this year and I still feel like she's trying to sabotage my sucuess but in a lowkey way that she's just being my mum and doesn't actually want me to get or stay fat.
I've been on nocarb keto for 4 months now and she still says stuff from me from time to time like "your dad is at a business function tonight, just order a pizza for dinner or something'
I dont take it as she doesnt respect my diet or what im doing but she just doesnt think about it that much, or maybe she lowkey wants me to stay fat.
>>37471806
This is so fucking American lmao
>>37475964
sounds brit as fuck man
>take away food
>fish and chips
>>37476010
Yeah you're right, just reread it and he said 'chips' whereas Americans say 'fries'.
>>37471806
I laughed until I cried.10/10
This has the perfect mix of hilarity with believability, so I can never just dismiss it as stupid pasta. Also excellent gradual ramp from completely normal and relatable to the target audience, to insanity. It's like experiences I have had, stretched just a liiittle bit too far.
