Despair.
I don't really know what to feel or do anymore.
I'd suicide but I worry too much for what might be waiting for me once I'm dead.
Long story short:
>6'1" Dutch guy, brown hair green eyes
>4 months lifting, nothing impressive
>21 years old
>dad died almost 3 years ago now (27th will be the anniversary)
>moved out since his death with my best friend
>after a year we had a huge irreperable falling out and he has cut all contact.
>live in perpetual limbo now, above the store owned by my mom (so all the annoyances of having a mom to nag at you with none of the benefits, rent, cook for myself, clean etc)
>im in a class way below my skill level and age range
>i'm failing that because I lack the motivation to go (never learn abything and its a 20km drive)
>girls constantly rejecting me
>employers constantly rejecting me
>no one cares for me or loves me. I always have to initiate a conversation with everyone
>not enough motivation to hang my washed clothes or go to the gym or eat healthy anymore
What the fuck do /fit/ I'm losing it
Thinking of committing a crime so prison can take care of me so I won't have to
What should i do I need help
>no replies
Story of my life lol
I know how you feel, you might be exaggerating it though.
>>37404100
no real advice here but I feel for you man. things will get better with time. If you are feeling real desperate go join the army or learn a trade there
>>37404100
>in a class below my skill level
>still fail
Okay then
>>37404100
want some1 to care for you? go to gym find gymbro then ask him to spot for you and hell care for you for that 30 to 1 mins of your life
Maybe go somewhere east? Idk, ukraine, romania, poland? But not to any of those tourist resorts.
>>37404100
How about you stop being a little bitch and get your life in order, instead of shitposting maymays on the chan?
>muh loneliness
>muh lack of motivation
>muh hardships
Do you think that happiness is something that comes from forces outside of your control or from yourself?
Why do you think it is the responsibility of others to bring you happiness, love, and start conversations with you? What could you do for yourself to bring these qualities to your life?
What brings you happiness in life?
What are your goals in life? If you were to die tomorrow, what would you want to be remembered as?
Before you answer "I don't have any" or "I don't know" take 30 minutes to think about it. Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and seriously think about your life and what you want out of it. You will never find happiness if you do not know what makes you happy and if you do not go do the thing that makes you happy. If you need a friend feel free to shoot me an email sometime. [email protected]
>>37404100
I dunno man, take all that negative shit and frustration and get mad, then lift while mad.
go to class, its not forever just do it and do well.
>no one cares for me or loves me.
besides your family, no thats probably true, fuck em.
Sorry about your dad bro.
>>37404100
I used to be your age and felt the same. I felt like I was getting nowhere and that I wasn't going to do anything with my life.
My advice? Hard work
There's nothing you cannot achieve for yourself if you put the work to it.
Even getting people to like you. Work on your character and most importantly: put your self out of your comfort zones! Only then you will start making difference.
I'm 30 now and I can tell you that things do get better but don't be fooled that things get easier. You have to carry on working hard In order to maintain what you have achieved. At the moment I drive 105km each way to work, everyday! I do this because it's a good opportunity and the money is good too.
Hard work. Put it in and you will be rewarded. I believe in you but you MUST believe in yourself.
>>37404394
Bless you anon.
I'm buying that book now.
>>37404100
>able bodied
>no debilitating mental illness (dementia, schizo, etc.)
>not homeless
>reasonably intelligent
>first world country with welfare system
OP it sounds like you're having a rough time with your father's death, but do not deny for a moment that you have more than enough assets to be productive and live a respectable life. Change your habits, use your time wisely.
>>37404100
I was in pretty much the same situation during college (except for the dad; sorry for your loss)
At least you live in a civilized country, I live in an eastern european shithole working for $80 a month at a dead-end retail job because all those four years at college were worthless.
>>37404100
at least you got dubs
>>37404100
There was a point in time where I considered suicide every day man. I got fired and bills kept piling up. Had a debt of 30 thousand dollars. Girlfriend left me for some randy beta dyel. I broke down one day in my car. I took all that rage and put it into lifting. I have enough fuel to lift for a lifetime. Now my debt is down to 2350 dollars as of this morning. I finished school and am making $40/h I won't be rich on that wage but I sure as hell won't be struggling. I used to eat once a day before that. Then in the afternoon the only thing I could afford to buy was a 50 cent coca cola can from a vending machine at school. Had to save most of my money for rent. I still drink coca cola to remind me of those times man. Work hard and move on.
>>37404100
>small steps
>get a hobby (even if its helping other, as long as you like doing it)
>everybody you dont care about can go fuck themselves
>feel motivated to better yourself
>mama will be proud
>never stop
>>37404100
>Despair
>Suicidal ideation
>Anhedonia
These are all highly diagnostic signs of either Major Depressive Disorder or Bipolar Affect Disorder. You need to see a psychiatrist and tell him these symptoms.
The Netherlands has mandatory health insurance. See your GP first for a referral. A psychiatrist is obligated to give you an ICD-10 code, which health insurance will cover.
You're not an American, with means your psychiatric care is neither a shambles nor a scam (DSM is a load of shit). You don't have any reason not to approach this like a mature adult and make use of the resources available to you. This is about as practically useful advice as you're gonna get, so if you decide to whine on the internet instead of putting it into action, you have yourself to blame.
t. manic depressive
>>37404783
listen to this man
>>37404362
Fail because of mandatory presence.
Which is hard to keep up because of no motivation.
>>37404370
My one rep max isn't spot worthy
>>37404387
To do what, slav squats?
>>37404388
I am watching my life as a trainwreck in motion without the ability to do anything about it.
>>37404394
If I died people would pretend to care for a week and then forget about me entirely. Nothing I can think of makes me "happy". Vidya bores me. Gym sucks the soul out of me. Youtube kills time without me feeling any emotion. I'm probably not gonna mail you but I might. Don't know why though.
>>37404405
I'm not even mad. I'm embarrassed for my life. Lol, my family doesn't give a shit about me.
>>37404413
>just BEE urself (but change urself 1st)
Good advice breh.
>>37404437
My mom literally said to me "it's been 3 years get over it".
Fucking hell man.
>>37404473
Just put that on my tombstone then senpai.
>>37404523
40 an hour is fucking ridiculous I consider that rich I got rejected for a €7 an hour horeca job just fucking kill me man
>>37404783
I'll look into it but where to start? Who do I consult first?
I just bought a PS1 with games from my childhood. I'm gonna play them to0night and go tpop bed early. Tomorrow morning school til 12 then I have weekend. Wish me luck brehs.
Steroids
>>37405169
caffine?
>>37404100
Do something that'll get you noticed, find someone to love and fill that emotional void. Your problems won't be fixed unless you find motivation and it sounds like you've already tried everything else.
>gf meme
>>37405169
>I'll look into it but where to start? Who do I consult first?
Huisarts neger. Ze hebben altijd wel een huispsycholoog waarmee je wat gesprekken kan boeken en op basis daarvan kan doorverwijzen naar een meer gespecialiseerde afdeling van een ggz-instelling.
t. depressieve angsstoornislijer die binnenkort naar Yulius gaat
>>37405169
>>37405322
Was just about to say. If you are seeing/will see a psychologist, then they will refer you. But if your tell your huisarts about these symptoms, especially despair and suicidal ideation, he might send you straight to a psychiatrist (or psychiatric clinic where applicable).
Just book the soonest appointment with the psychologist and mention the "long story short" to either, it's got more than enough information.
>Despair.
>I don't really know what to feel or do anymore.
>I'd suicide but I worry too much for what might be waiting for me once I'm dead.
>i'm failing that because I lack the motivation to go (never learn abything and its a 20km drive)
>not enough motivation to hang my washed clothes or go to the gym or eat healthy anymore
>>37404100
Man the fuck up and realize that sometimes life fucking sucks. only betas and faggots run away from their problems. It's only going to get better if you make it better faggot
>>37404783
what should I do if I'm a Ameribro and I feel like OP
I can't afford to see a doctor.
>>37405593
bump
what do
>>37405586
This
>>37405593
>>37405641
I don't know what you do in the States if you don't have health insurance. Is there not a public health system at all? I have put people through to mental hospitals in the South African public health system, so I'm sure you could manage something in the US... if the government isn't literally letting people die in the streets
>>37405586
>>37405656
>Man the fuck up
>jus b urself
Don't expect me to pick you up when you stumble. With an attitude like that, you can stay where you land.
This problem was solved thousand of years ago, you know what you need to do. If you can't do it then find a way to change your life. It seems like you already know must of the problems. Also stop being a little bitch boy.
>>37404394
Today I was feeling really suicidal, you made my day a bit brighter. Thank you
>>37404100
Met zelfmoord of de gevangenis schiet je niets op man. Zelf ook een hoop shit meegemaakt de laatste jaren en ik weet hoe je je voelt, I've been there.
Blijf aan jezelf werken en na verloop van tijd wordt dat gevoel dat je nu hebt stukken minder. Life goes on man. Zie het zo; het kan alleen maar beter worden als je aan de bodem zit.
By blaming others you surrender your ability to change your life. You are responsible for everything that happens in your life. For disasters such as your father passing you are not responsible for his death but for how you react to it.
Personal responsibility is the great liberator. The sooner you take full responsibility for your life, the sooner you can work towards a better life. Remember: it doesn't matter where you came from, it only matters where you're going
>>37404100
Je bent godverdomme een watje. Grijp jezelf bij de kraag en doe wat je moet doen. 21 jaren jong, de helft op het hbo begint op die leeftijd en op mijn masteropleiding ben ik de zowat de jongste (bijna 24). Niet zeiken maar doen
Murder a money-lender and her retard sister then confess your sins to a whore
>>37407176
It makes me happy to know I brightened your day.
Feel free to email me if you're ever feeling down Anon, I'l always be routing for you.
