Since this board used to be Health and Fitness, I hope this is appropriate
Does anyone else suffer from performance anxiety or just not being able to get hard during sex?
I've had sex a few times with different partners, and each time I've either had trouble getting more than a semi-boner or I've just not been able to get hard at all.
Last night was no different, I was basically hard all night when we were out and holding each other and kissing etc, but as soon as it was coming to the actual sex I couldn't get more than a semi-boner.
The times I have gotten hard during sex took like at least 30-45 mins, which is just way too abnormal
Any tips to overcoming this?
>>37258555
You're me.
I've tried to have sex 6 times in the past couple months with 6 different girls. Every time I couldn't stay hard..
Wtf is this
>>37258555
Also adding to this, not op btw
I got semi hard when I had a blow job and it felt fucking good. The moment I stuck my dick in though, i went soft after 3 pumps. I have no idea whats going on.
My long term gf (now exgf) had no problem getting me hard. My dick would be rock hard with her for hours and hours and I could fuck like a champ.
My dick keeps going soft on me now with new girls and it's really demoralizing. None of the girls have sex with me (or try to) after the first failed attempt.
It's in your head.
You're placing too much pressure on yourself to perform well for your partner instead of enjoying the process of having sex yourself.
Of course pleasing your partner is important in good sex, but you also have to enjoy it yourself.
You were hard all night because you were turned on but there was no pressure to actually BE hard.
You lost that erection when you actually NEEDED to be hard.
My advice would be to come to terms with the fact you have difficulty getting and maintaining an erection. Even mentioning it to your partner, if she is understanding, before you start can relieve some pressure off of you.
>>37258555
>>37258785
>>37258836
STOP watching porn! You have conditioned yourself only to get an erection in situations where you are 100% comfortable. Sex for the first time is NEVER 100% comfortable, especially if you have had erection issues in the past. The only escape is to stop jacking it to porn, let your bodies natural horniness take over so you can get aroused again, and recondition yourselves into being able to have sex in less comfortable situations.
Best of luck lads
>>37258555
Viagra is super cheap on the dark net. Grab some, take half before the first couple of times you have sex with a new girl, and when you're comfortable with her stop taking it. Even if you can't get it up, you've already proven that you can and you've already fucked her all night a few times so it won't matter and you'll be able to work through it
>>37258880
Does this mean I can tap as much as I normally do, just without using porn?
>completely drop porn
>stop visiting nsfw boards or any nsfw sites on the internet
>take maca capsules
>take zma
>take horny goat week caps
>cardio every day
>jack off 2 - 3 times a week
>>37258893
fap*
Dont fap sitting down. It cuts the bloodflow to your cock, makes it more erect but only when sitting down. When you fap too often sitting down, you become dependent on this instead of letting it supply blood naturally.
>>37258555
I have the same problem but I can basically blame it all on my first relationship.
>first gf had vaginismus
>every time I tried to put it in she'd shy away or if I managed to actually get it in the pain would be too much for her so after a minute she'd tell me to get out, cry sometimes
>after a while the second she tells me she wants me inside her, boner just dies or I make her suck my dick instead
Which wouldn't bother me now except she continually asked me to help her with it, told her to do kegels and look shit up online to help, didn't do shit then got mad at me for wanting to be able to have normal sex, went full sjw about it. Plus she was a cunt about a bunch of other stuff too.
Now whenever I get hard it has to go in quick or I lose my erection because of that shit. That's why I hate condoms: it's not a sensitivity issue, it's a "Can I find and get this stupid thing on my dick fast enough?"
Doesn't happen when I'm drunk or really relaxed though, it's all mental.
>>37258866
This.
Sex is a mental game. If you're nervous, half of your focus goes to keeping it up, which then turns into consciously maintaining a boner. just relax and try to get more comfortable with your partner.
Don't take any fucking pills. becoming dependent on viagra to maintain an erection can happen even if you don't have ED in the first place
>>37258880
This is true, to combat the comfort thing first I dropped porn, then I started fapping in less comfortable situations:
>start out fapping in garage on concrete floor
>fap in backyard in the prickly bushes
>gym sauna for extreme heat
>walk in freezer at work
>fap underwater in the pool
Once you have mastered the environment you can fuck anywhere, good luck
>>37258880
This is the fucking answer
If you don't have sex much or at all, and the only times you get an erection and pleasure yourself is when you're sitting in front of a computer, chances are when you get around to having sex you won't be able to get an erection, because you're not used to it.
stop watching porn and sitting in front of a computer masturbating
masturbating is natural, using a bright screen with images on it to help you come is not
>>37258893
I had no problem fapping without porn, but YMMV I guess
>>37258555
maybe you like dudes
>had many one night stands and long term girlfriends
>still cum in under a minute if I'm not totally drunk or on drugs
It gets to the point where I don't want to have sex if I'm sober.
>Stop porn
>limit yourself to fapping once a week at MOST
I had the same problem. You're desensitized.
How do you know you're desensitized? You fast forward through porn to get to the "good parts" then when its not immediately enough you look for another video.
>>37259002
This.
Sex is about losing your mind in fuck so you're enjoying it enough to stay hard and managing your breathing so you don't bust too quick.
