The Perfect Poop
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
I am in the search of The Perfect Poop. You know what I mean.
The poop that slides out easily, comes out intact, and doesn't make you dirty.
One wipe, and it's done. Two, just to be sure. The paper is cleaner then it always before touching your butt.
We've all had these. It is almost... orgasmic.
These are the little small things that make life worth living.
Unfortunately, they are rare.
All the other dumps either break apart before coming out or they make you dirty. Perhaps even both.
Now, I would like all of my poops to be like The Perfect Poop.
It feels good and it is super fast. I love it.
The question is: How do we get it? What is it that makes 'The Perfect Poop' perfect?
So far, I came up with a few ideas:
Metamucil, a fiber suplement, has been implicated in making poop less dirty.
I also suspect that lowering your consumption of carbohydrates can also help.
So, do you guys know anything about this? Have you done any experiments?
Please share. I need more concrete answers.
Not too much fat lots of fiber insoluble and soluble
metamucil powder does it for me.
Probiotics- yogurt, kefir, fermented foods like kim chi
Fiber- don't just use one kind like Metamucil, look for a variety of different types of insoluble fiber.
Water- drink a ton every day.
>>36990271
Eat a fat ass salad at dinner and have even more vegetables with your entree. I also eat a bowl of plain greek yogurt a couple hours later. My poop flows. Also avoid too much cheese.
>>36990323
Should add I eat low carb
>>36990298
>>36990310
Do you guys think that beans would be a good source of fiber? I heard beans have a shitton of fiber.
>>36990323
Avoid cheese? Any reason why? Is it the fat? The lactose?
Beans? Guys?
Find some good pre workout. I take the best shits after I've taken my pre workout, all the shit in it that gives you energy puts your gut in over drive. Another thing is you've got the perfect shit all wrong, I don't give a fuck how much a have to wipe. The perfect shit feels like you're emptying shit that's been in there for years, it's like you take your normal shit but all the sudden you ass says "hell no I'm comin back for round 2" and you take an even bigger shit. I don't care if I have to get a towel to clean my ass up, nothins better then that empty feeling.
>>36990536
That's not supposed to happen.
That is not the perfect shit.
>>36990564
What? I'm not suppose to shit my brains out? I think your missing my point, you seem really focused on whipping your ass but that's got nothing to do with how good your shit is. I could be constipated for 3 days and push out a big dry log that feels like it's tearing my ass hole apart and not need to whips. Was that perfect shit? Hell no, it felt like I was giving birth to a hippo. A perfect shit should be that feeling you get from having empty bowels.
>>36990595
I have described The Perfect Shit up there. It is not supposed to hurt, but it is not supposed to make you dirty either.
>>36990271
>The poop that slides out easily, comes out intact, and doesn't make you dirty.
>>36990343
Beans are good. I don't know for certain but I never get perfect shits on my bulk, and I'm pretty sure it's all the milk and cheese (usually half a gallon a day).
Go on a soylent diet. I've been on keto fuel for 4 weeks. Nothing but that and maybe salad. Now your body has no surprises when it comes to diet. I take boring ass clean shits all the time.
>>36990271
I recently went on like a 6 day streak of perfect shits, I think it was just a high protein diet for me
OP, what is your native language? Just curious
I wish I could contribute, but alas, these shits are rare for me as well.
how has no one said green peas yet? half a cup is a fuck ton more fibre than pussy ass beans
>>36990271
> Metamucil, a fiber suplement, has been implicated in making poop less dirty.
I'm actually laxative dependent and can't poop without (long story, but basically, big intestinal complications and scarring) and can vouch for Metamucil making me go once a day every day at roughly the same time and giving me the easiest poops of my life.
Fucking keto diet for 8 months tearing up my intestines because I had an diagnosed/undetected problem. I really enjoyed keto, too.
GREEN TEA
I've been drinking 5-8 cups of green tea a day and now I poop every time I eat a normal-sized meal. It's like magic. My intestines are like "oh, more food is coming in! Guess I don't need this old food anymore!"
It's always a huge, smooth, clean shit. Obviously everything I ate earlier that day - nothing being left behind or stuck in my intestines. Doesn't even smell that bad anymore.
Never looking back.
>>36990271
a guy i knew told me he used to rub moisturizing lotion around his anus before he took a shit. says the poos came out nice and smooth, with little to clean up. i dont talk to him anymore.
>>36990951
sounds like he knows his shit
>>36990951
I had to do something like this when I had roids, but I can't comprehend why you'd do this if you didn't have to.
>>36991014
Ur a cheeky kunt you know that?
>>36990271
My guess is limiting dairy is helpful. I've been eating lots of dairy cause newfag bulking and my poops are very smelly and soft leaving lots to wipe up after.
Vegetables, fiber supplements, and protein are probably the key.
>>36990595
>>36990536
this faggot made me laugh so hard
Do people seriously just eat things so they can shit them out? My body recycles it's own waste so I don't have to. No muss, no fuss,
Oh boy, it's one of those threads
>>36990271
Pic related. Put a teaspoon of this in your protein shake every day. Problem solved.
>>36991724
Just being honest
Sup
>>36990343
Cheese is notorious for clogging people up. I find it slows my whole system down.
Every morning I know after my coffee that I'm going to defecate, and then maybe one more time soon after. When I factor in excess cheese, I might not go for the entire day.
A few slices of swiss cheese or feta in a salad won't fuck you up, but munching on a platter of brie or cheddar might do you in.
Dairy on its own won't fuck you up unless you're lactose intolerant. Yogurt is great for your digestive system, while cheese clogs you up. Its like having oil gunk in your engine making it seize up.
I also slow cook a lot of food which makes it so soft and brittle that it passes through the body easily.
>>36992231
I should add that you can really it cheese if you want, just eat a ton of fibre along with it to counter act the constipation.
>>36990271
Alright so I just came back from doing one of these prophesised shits and the only thing I can think of that I did differently today was drink a lot of water, other than that my diet was pretty horrible today. So yea, lots of water, I think I'm at about 2 L
as someone who takes class 3/4 shits on the reg in large form I'll let you in on my typical daily diet:
>breakfast
2 eggs, yogurt, banana, fiber enhanced toast with peanut butter
>lunch
turkey and Swiss on fiber enhanced bread with any vegetables on Han and generous amount of mustard. also a whole bag of premixed salad.
>dinner
Brussel sprouts. a fuck ton. steamed.
chicken breast. pounded, doused in sweet baby rays and baked.
baked beans. Half of a small can.
3-6 light beers.
>>36990622
Actually I agree with the other guy.
I don't care about wiping my ass a few times or even having to take a shower afterwards if nessecary.
I can still remember the best shit I ever did when I was about 15 years old. After I finished I just felt so good that I had to go sit outside for 30 minutes to enjoy the feeling.
>>36990536
>It's like you take your normal shit but all the sudden your ass says "Hell no motherfucker, I'm comin back for round 2." and you take an even bigger shit.
My sides, like my shit, are gone into orbit.
Coffee does it 4 me senpai
Smh senpai desu
