>be on my run
>keep hearing bells
>look behind me after a while
>there's a gaggle of cats following me
Anyone got any running stories?
Treadmill/gymfags not invited
>>36912187
>be running
>people start running away from me because they think I'm going to attack them
I was running past an abandoned factory in Serbia very early in the morning in summer, looked to the grass verge beside me and saw a huge black dog guarding a white horse
>>36912250
That's what happens when you're black
>>36912187
>Jennifer Connelly
>HNNGGGGGGGGG
>>36912250
You should really stop bringing the knife with you.
>>36912187
>>there's a gaggle of cats following me
ahahahah but why?
Had some random dog bro join me for a mile or so once when I was doing 9 miles. Hope he got back home safely.
>>36913035
>running without some form of self defense
Even in rich white areas that's dumb as fuck
>>36913078
That is so cute.
How do you know he wasn't chasing you doe?
>>36912187
>running stories?
>Running with team.
>Guy calls us fags.
>Catch him at red light.
>Ask him to suck my dick.
>He tries to run me over.
>Punch his driver side mirror off his truck.
>He drives off buttfurious.
>Carry mirror as trophy.
Good times.
>>36912187
>>36913131
kek
>on laptop
>finish 3rd coffee
>for 5 days prior do nothing but whack off to porn and drink coffee and lie in bed
>20 mins after coffee get sudden irrepressible urge to sort out life and feel like it's all coming together
>decide to go for a run, so fucking motivated, my life is going to change
>can't find t shirt so go topless
>1/4 of the way round see my friend who lives across the park's dad unloading his shopping and look at me with poorly concealed bewilderment and condemnation
>make it up the hill and back to my house
>dying of exhaustion
>go lie down
>feel horrible
>don't sort out life
>discover Anya Olsen and spend the next 7 hours downloading 14 of her videos and have 8 or so of her vids up on streaming websites
>beat off
>continue this cycle without the burst of motivation resurfacing as of yet
>>36912187
A couple of dogs chased me yesterday. I outran them
>>36913202
>look at me with poorly concealed bewilderment and condemnation
Fuck that guy.
That look was probably him regretting his mediocre life.
Run shirtless all you want, and don't worry what people think.
>>36913310
>>36913202
Not if you're fat
>>36913314
You won't be if you keep it up.
>>36913322
I'm not him
And I don't run shirtless, in fact I only run after 11pm
>>36913105
Only in America...
>>36913338
>I only run after 11pm
are you a rapist?
>>36913369
no
>at the gym
>running on the treadmill
>keep hearing bells
>look behind me after a while
>there's a gaggle of cats following me
>>36912250
>>36912187
young jennifer connoley is a 10/10 fuckin hell
>>36913131
>be driving
>team of runnerfags nearly get killed by me because they ran across the street when they weren't supposed to cross
>>36912187
>go running at night around my university
>say hello when i run past somebody
>do this every night
>hear that there is some kind of rapist on campus who has been chasing women at night
>sounds dangerous,hope i don't run into him at night!
>one morning campus police knock on my door
>I've been identified as the sexual predator
>dispite not actually doing anything technically wrong, I've "contributed to a sense of unsafeness and stress and put the feelings of security at risk for all women in the school"
>almost expelled for this
>basically any man outside of his dorm after sundown that isn't accompanied by a woman is considered a "threatening figure"
>>36912187
>go to track
>start running
>ex gf comes to track
>We chit chat and then fuck in the woods
The end
>>36914014
This is 2016.
Fuck we have to stop this madness
>>36913349
>implying the burger is wrong
Bring a fucking knife with you everywhere, it only takes one incident for you to be fucking dead and you'll wish you had that knife
>>36913125
>doe
>>36914014
i hope this is a joke
>>36914014
I like to walk fast
This often leads to situations where someone slow is getting in my way
if it's female they always hear me closing in, put their purse on other side, or even just plain stop and turn around to see what's going on, it fucking infuriates me. I'm not breathing heavily or doing any loud sounds, i just walk fast. I'm not interested in your stupid purse or in raping you, get the fuck out my way you slow stupid female.
>>36913349
>Only in America...
at least we're allowed to carry knives with us
>>36913105
You don't need self defense, a real runner uses an attacker as further running motivation.
>>36912250
>see another person
>start sprinting as fast as I can towards them
>running with a womanlet friend of mine
>she finishes the lap before me
>calls me a fat ass
>mfw
>catch up to her
>"Can a fatass do this?"
>grab her and Arnold press her
>slams her on the ground
>walk away
>>36914688
This, or they take out their phone and pretend to talk to someone as I approach and begin to pass by
>be from low income neighborhood
>shootings are popping up, might be little turf wars
>neighbor runner gets stabbed
>mfw i haven't ran in weeks
>mfw i'm a treadmill fag now
>>36913247
Either they were some pretty slow ass dogs or they lost interest.
>>36914770
Lol yes, a fatass actually would be able to do that. Fatass.
>running at night down busy street
>uneven concrete meet toe
>kek, why am I doing a somersault?
>get back up and run quickly from the shame
>be in shower after my run
>keep hearing bells
>look behind me after a while
>there's a gaggle of cats lathering me
>>36915201
>>36912187
>be running
>have several anxiety problems
>a car is trying to run over me
>avoid car and keep running
>same car appears 2 times again with lights out
>realize its a group of undearge kids
Great job idiots, now everytime i run its a fuckin fight with my anxiety problems
>be with all my boys
>looking sexy
>show up at the club with bells on
>later on we're all drunk
>see a guy running
>we decide to chase him
>he speeds up but we keep following
>he stops and turns around looking frightened
>we joke with him and pat him on the back
>"you guys are some cool cats"
>>36914014
I would be so fucking pissed
>muh feelies
>>36912187
God, she's purdy
>>36915201
Lel
>>36915307
Underrated.jpg
>>36915201
+1 upboat
>>36915280
they were driving on the pavement?
Who is this sperm worm?
>>36913314
I don't know, it helped with my confidence when I started.
>Was 380 pure natty you mirin my rolls
>Decide to start losing weight
>Just go out and begin walking
>Lived in country so I only had three neighbors, and could make my track in the front yard
>Decide nobody ever really notices each other, so I might as well go topless
>Months later I've jogged a track into my yard
>I've got color to my skin
>Been moving heavy things around the yard or lifting them, digging holes for posts, rolling tractor tires
>Down to 240
>Neighbors come over one day with the most colorful salad I've ever seen and a gigantic bottle of cold water
>Tell me they've been admiring my dedication and that I'm looking real good - one of their daughters asks me if I'm single
>Start walking around college changing room naked
>High five all the naked older dudes
>Stare down the janitor in my Captain Morgan pose every time he walks in
>My dick's only like 4.5 inches but I intimidate people like it's 12
>Got a bounce to my step and a smile at all times now
>Posture has never been better
Run without the shirt, man. It all starts there.
>>36912187
>Run round this old beaten country road on weekends
>live in NZ, so all the paddocks are just sheep
>First few weeks, all the sheep just shit themselves and run away
>As time goes on, they grow used to me and stop running
>I have a pretty strict routine, go for my run at the same time every week
>Now they line up and wait for me to run past every week
I'm basically their master
>>36915649
Soon you will lead the flock to the promised land.
>>36915641
God speed anon. You are the reason i truly believe we are all gonna make it
>decide to drink coffee an hour before my run
>run at a local track
>a bunch of people use this track
>5 minutes in to run feel like I'm going to shit
>try to finish my run but begin farting
>I farted when I passed the cute girls
>hear them say "that guy just crapped his pants"
>sprint as far away as I can
>look down and see shit all over my leg
Never went back there.
I have to run in a park with now cushy track.
>>36912187
>decide to run for first time in long while.
>running around local lake.
>keep seeing clumps of runners going opposite direction. almost bumping me.
>getting weird stares now
>change directions
>cross a finish line?
i randomly stumbled into a 5k hosted at the local lake.
>>36913035
>not running with a knife
Pleb, everyone knows running with is a knife is faster
>>36914688
This, I partially enjoy it. I like to walk fast and past by people.
>>36913369
can vouch for anon. night runs are the best.
>>36917248
Still a bit slow to call them 'runs', but I've always preferred walking and hiking at night. I've managed to scare the shit out of people (unintentionally) on a number of occasions. I don't normally use a light (I'm near Minneapolis, so it never really gets that dark unless there is bad weather), and have people come up on me and suddenly notice me a freak out slightly. I just say hello and keep moving.
Was doing a night march in a state forest and came across someone who had decided to camp right on the trail. Freaked them out pretty badly when I went by in the dark and all they heard were the footsteps.
>>36917160
dats gr8 anon :D
>>36917282
lol. kindred spirit. climbed mt bierstadt in the middle of the night. step on something soft between the rocks at the summit.
it was a very scared person who had been sleeping up there. oops.
>>36912187
>On HS XC team
>Routine ez day 2.5 mile run
>Some reason have bowel issues like just after starting run
>Hold that shit in for entire thing
>Get back to track after run, absolutely butthurt, but pride intact
>Practice ends. FUCK YES
>walking across field to nearest porta potty not 2 mins later
>shit my shorts in middle of field BUT NO ONE'S AROUND
>CHRISTMAS MIRACLE
>make it to portapotty and spend like half an hour cleaning shit up, collecting shreds of dignity
>tom clancy my sopping smelly ass back to locker room
Also, one time I got stopped by cops who were looking for someone. But not me
Another time,
>running in an Open Space preserve.
>On the way back, dog tired
>Usual route is technically trespassing but right next to my house so like, whatevs, we know most of the people around
>See park ranger in distance near exit.
>Fuck, I don't want to have to turn around and do another few miles because there's no exit without trespassing(and rangers care about that shit).
>Decide to bushwhack to avoid ranger detection while still trespassing, to get out through shortcut.
>Get scratched on bushes and trees and fences and shit, but make it back to main road, so no longer trespassing
>Think I'm safe, 10 mins later, almost at house
>FUCKING RANGER POPS OUT OF NOWHERE WITH HIS GODDAMN TRUCK
>"DID I JUST SEE YOU RUNNING THROUGH THE BUSHES?"
>FUUUUCKKKK
>"Uhhh..."
>Don't want to lie because idk maybe makes shit way worse
>"I like bushwhacking sometimes, y'know..."
>Basically he ended up phoning home and checking for a record or something, found nothing so let me go
Fucking rangers, just lemma get mah damn cardio shitt
>>36912187
>a gaggle of cats
that's a CLOWDER of cats, you illiterate mong
