My gf has gained a bit of weight since I met her. pic related is the closest I could find to her body type. It's not very appealing to be completely honest. It's gotten to the point where I have a hard time keeping a boner.
She keeps saying she's fat and that she's a whale. I don't want her to get the idea that I'm okay with her body so I say "aw don't say that" instead of "no sweetie, you're perfect the way you are".
Fitness is something that is very important to me. For the past three years I've been counting everything I eat and hitting the gym 5 times a week. I'm not huge by /fit/'s standards but I'm really happy with my body. Regardless, I know what I'm talking about when it comes to fitness and losing weight. I've planned out and successfully went through multiple bulk/cut cycles.
She started counting her calories (her own decision, she thought I was a freak when she met me) and she keeps going over. She's been doing it for a month and has seen no progress. I told her to weigh herself, and not to pay too much attention to the number at first since it will mostly be water weight. But she said she doesn't own a scale. I told her I could lend her one of mine and she took that as an insult. She started going off about society's standards. How society dictates that women should be trophies and look a certain way, be tall, blonde, blue eyed and slim.
She said that society is harder on women than men. She said men don't have to do shit while women have to do all sorts of shit to appeal to the standard. I told her I didn't agree with that. That a man can't become a lazy fatass and expect women to want him.
I don't want a fat girlfriend. She just doesn't have the right mindset in my opinion. And I find her lazy. She complains that she's doing bad in school but she'll send me pictures of her eating bullshit and watching TV shows all day. I might leave her unless I can find some way of getting through to her about losing weight.
>>36768984
You read my post in 19 seconds? I'm actually impressed
>>36769002
1:19, doh
Well, leave her dude. If you have conflicting lifestyles then why stay?
She might be suffering from depression or something like that. Try to get her out in the sun more, even if it's not like heavy exercise... The sun makes people happy. Have you asked her how happy she is with you?
If she's lazy, she's lazy. It's something that as we get older happens. Less likely for fit inspired people though. It's hard to get motivated. There are a lot of mental blocks.
She might also be forming dysmorphia.
Anyways, I hope I could help out.
Love, femanon.
>>36768964
do you honestly expect us to read all that shit?
>>36768964
She's lazy, give her an ultimatum and if not dump and move on. Some people will never learn.
Only downside is she might decide to get fit at revenge for you dumping her
>>36768964
>wants to know weight
>doesn't own a scale
>insulted when offered to borrow a scale
The fuck kind of logic is that? She's dumb. Dump her. You can break up now, or break up later. I'd just do it now and get it over with.
>>36769051
I actually read all of it and found it to be very interesting desu senpai.
>>36768964
Are you dating a goblin ?
Seriously I've told my gf from the start that if she got fat I'm not sticking around. She is Asian so she always just wants to be stuck thin and always has been, but she finally started going to the gym by since a few weeks. I've been telling her to go exercise every time she complained to me about some body problem consistently for 3 years. You just gotta plant that seed man and hope she'll pick up on it someday. Going to the gym is a big step for people that don't like it but only people that lack self control allow themselves to get fat. If you really can't stand being with a fatty, like me, just be clear and honest about it. She'll change or she won't you'll have your answer either way.
>>36769039
I'll talk about her happiness the next time I see her. Getting sun is also a good point.
>>36769061
I've thought about her using me breaking up with her as motivation to get fit. I mean, it's either I stay with her and she doesn't get fit, or I leave and she does. There's no winning. But honestly it's not something that would really bother me. I already know she would fuck a ton of guys as soon as I leave her and I think I would be okay with that.
>I feel bad about my weight
>Its societys fault
>I try tl lose weight and fail
>Its socoetys fault
Leave her now. Shes fucking stupid and self centered and will not face reality, all big fucking red flags for a long term relationship. Her beimg fat is going to fuck up any kids you have with her.
>>36769099
A goblin as in ugly? She has a cute face. She won't start going to the gym. She sees it as a meat show for douchebags and sluts.
I know I need to be more direct with her when it comes to her weight. But I try to avoid the subject because I know it upsets her.
>>36768964
It really depends on what type of girl she is. Like if she has good genetics, and if she's the type of girl you'd like to have children with, keep her. If you aren't 100% sure you would want her to have your children, even if she was fit and not lazy, then dump her.
If she is pretty much what you want in life in a woman, except she's getting chubby and lazy, then you can fix her. Give her a diet plan, and only keep food in your fridge that is healthy and low fat. Buy weights, and work/run out with her. If she doesn't live with you right now as was implied with her not having her own scale, then get her to move in with you.
Don't put energy into her if you aren't serious about keeping her. If you are serious about keeping her, help her and lead her to fitness. If you aren't serious about her, leave her.
>>36768964
>I don't want her to get the idea that I'm okay with her body so I say "aw don't say that" instead of "no sweetie, you're perfect the way you are".
holy fuck I can't stand this shit
why don't you just fucking say yeah you're getting fat just like you'd do with a friend.
why are love relationships so fucking complicated and full of lies
>>36769099
Yerrow fever
are you actually autistic op?
>>36769039
The sun is a big one OP. get her to do something that isn't being sedentary, after that tell her that regardless of societies opinion she's obviously unhappy with herself, and that if she wants to look better for her own sake that she has to take responsibility and be willing to put in the work necessary for that. Maybe take the opportunity to get her to fully realize how hard you work in order to inspire her.
>>36768964
Bro she's approaching tumblr feminist HAES mode. It's time to drop swiftly. It really annoys me that you can't talk about a girls weight like it's some major taboo. Tell your girlfriend to slim the fuck down or you're leaving.
>>36769361
I've never gotten diagnosed but I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum. All the signs point to it. I didn't start speaking until I was 4, social skills didn't come naturally and I'm on 4chan right now.
>>36768964
> is lazy
> makes excuses
> easily offended over her own inferences than your implications
Fuck I hate this kind of mentality. My fat sister is the same. Does she indulge herself much? Things like bubble baths, manicures, face masks, wine etc. Does she maintain a clean room/house? Does she do any form of exercise, even yoga? Using the seven deadly sins, if she suffers from sloth, pride and gluttony - Fucking. Leave. My sister is honest to god a terrible person once she passes the "I don't know you well so I'll be sweet and nice" stage.
(Her getting easily offended is a pride thing and is a mechanism to defend it)
Sit her down and be honest with her dude.
Tell her it's not attractive to be fat, and that you can't see yourself with someone you're not attracted to.
This is not being a douchebag, or an asshole, this is you being honest with what you want in your relationship, and taking a step to make sure that you're getting as much out of the relationship as you're giving. If she's not willing to even listen to you, you should do yourself a favor and part ways.
We live in a society where we (as men) are constantly told that it's not okay to want a skinny girlfriend, or to tell your wife to lose weight, but I think this concept is creating a bunch of unhappy men who are stuck with their fat, slovenly wives. The truth is, is that there is literally nothing wrong with being attracted to women who are a healthy weight, and you shouldn't feel ashamed or shy about that. When you hide how you really feel about this kind of stuff, it's just going to spring up in other areas of the relationship, and constantly cause different issues.
People are so fucking obsessed these days with love as a concept that's "more than skin deep" but that's fucking horseshit. Physical attraction to your partner is one of the absolute most important aspects of a relationship, and once it starts to fade, other things will fall apart too. Sure, you can ask a couple of fat-asses if they're happy with their marriage, and they will probably say "yes", but in my opinion, what a lot of fatties have isn't a marriage so much as it is a partner who they can feed off of through co-dependence and feelings of comfort. Do not stay with this woman if she refuses to change, or you can easily find yourself walking this path.
It's not easy to be truthful, especially considering most of us have grown up in a world where we're told "You're not supposed to talk to a woman about her weight". But it's what you have to do, lest you subject yourself to a life of unhappiness.
Itt: low test faggots
>>36769099
Wow, you're an asshole. Are you seriously this insecure?
Maybe you should try loving her for the person she is instead of being a fucking nigger faggot
>>36770981
Maybe a lazy bitch that gets offended when offered help isn't worth loving.
>>36770981
>loving her for the person she is
I get what you're saying, but I'm just not compatible with fat people. I view being fat as lazy, lacking ambition and not being completely there mentally.
For some people it's great. I have a fat friend who's been with his fat girlfriend for years. They're perfect for each other. The girl is constantly making desserts for the both of them. Food is something that makes them happy. You could argue that they'll die sooner, that they aren't healthy, whatever. The point is they're compatible with each other.
Just today I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come rock climbing with me this week. I ask her every week and tell her there are beginner routes that are basically ladders and that nobody in the climbing community judges. But she told me until she starts working out she doesn't want to go climbing. So I said perfect, we're going to start working out together. I'll get you a program going. And she told me she didn't want to start working out.
Now, I could give a girl a chance if she got a little fat but was "working on it". There's a slim chance she would actually make it but I'd give it a shot anyway. But my girlfriend has accepted that she's fat. She's "okay" with her body and blames society instead of her lack of ambition. I personally find it extremely attractive.
>>36768964
you are dating an actual retard
and soon you'll be dating a fat actual retard
>>36768964
>not wanting a belly gf
>2016
All women will gain weight as they age, sorry brah for your taste in women.
She is just playing typical girl shit games she says "I'm fat and want to lose weight" you're meant to say "no you're not my precious flower you are perfect the way you are" she is happy and goes to eat a tub of butter to celebrate
Best way to respond is stating if that's what she wants to do you will support her. Doesn't buy into the game and makes it her issue
Worst way in her mind tho the most honest is awesome let me set it all up for you - she feels like she is ugly and fat and goes and eats a tub of butter to console herself
>>36768964
I hear where you're coming from. I'm the same way. The only difference is I lay down from the beginning that being fat or lazy is a dealbreaker. It's not something to dance around if you're in any kind of serious relationship.
If she thinks you're being a dick just whip out the good ol fashioned "if you don't have the discipline or desire to take care of your own health, how can I expect you to contribute to this relationship?"
Be prepared to end it right then and there though, but if it gets to that, she wasn't worth the meat around her cock sheath.
>>36771106
>You are wrong
>Settling is wrong
My gf went gluten free for a day, baked gluten free cookies, ate them all and quit the diet the next day. Today she ate a small carrot cake to herself.
She offered me some and I said no im trying to eat healthy and she got mad and took it as an insult
Girls are awful
>>36770971
Lard detected.
Send her my way op. I know how to handle a cow out of control
No, leave her OP. Honestly, I'm really perceptive to this stuff, she sounds exactly like my mother. Now imagine, thirty years down the line an alcoholic troll of a woman lashing out at everyone and everything around her, it's now or later senpai
>>36769283
Imagine you had a friend who was super sensitive about his weight. You can't just tell him haha fatass all the time. It'll damage your friendship. Same with a gf bro
>>36769219
>meat show for douchebags and sluts
How does she feel about you going to the gym then?
>>36771063
>I ask her every week and tell her there are beginner routes that are basically ladders and that nobody in the climbing community judges.
ignoring the rest of your post about a girl you clearly despise, how do you find these beginner routes?
>>36772696
Really? you're completely honest from the start? like if shes not fat or lazy, you still outline that those are dealbreakers?
>>36773159
Yeah. At this point in our lives we're past the hooking up phase and want to settle down so you can just be really businesslike I guess lol. I just have to be tactful about it, and make sure to get the point across that it isn't completely out of shallow reasons. They have redflags too, and my guarantee that I won't turn into a slob works for them too
>>36768964
>doing bad in school
>quoting the starting phases of modern feminist/sjw rhetoric
>doesn't want to be healthy
In real estate you can buy houses for cheap and make them worth more by renovating them.
>sometimes a house has foundation damage
You can almost never fix this in a cost-efficient manner-and even if you can it won't be worth the work because you can likely find properties with equal or better relative values for less work.
In this scenario you are shopping for fixer-uppers as a millionaire.
You're fit. You're disciplined. You're self-aware and searching for understanding. This is more than can be said for your partner-who needs a lot of help.
You can't get through to her. She has to convince herself that she needs to make a change. You giving her an ultimatum would produce a short-term change
>but if she really cared, then she would have already done it for you instead of waiting for you to force her
Leaving is the right thing. Maybe she'll improve herself for the next person.
>>36771063
>I personally find it extremely attractive.
meant to say unattractive
>implying girls with a little bit of a belly arent sexy as fuck
pic related
the problem with them however is that they generally continue to blimp over time. A little belly is awesome but there is definitely a threshold.
>>36769219
Goblin as in shes stealing your gains and wants to eat them all.
>>36773372
>>36773935
This is well past any fucking threshold there might be.
>>36771106
>All women will gain weight as they age,
if they work out and eat right, they won't.
>>36772942
there's a whole range between haha and lying, even saying nothing.
>>36773372
>expecting women to have the same efficacy and ability to take responsibility as men
>>36773708
>Op is secretly high-test and seeking our approval
it's ok man, I have a tumblrina fetish as well - get her to dye her hair and cut it short and get facial piercings.
>>36770971
Wow you're beta as fuck.
If you're not being upfront at the start of a relationship you're just wasting everyone's time.
I did the exact same thing when my gf and I started (now together 7 years). I told her if you cheat on me I'm gone and will simply cut communication. If you get fat I'm not sticking around. I also told her that if I have an habits that particularly grate on her tell me before it becomes and insufferable issue and asked if there were any expectations she had of me.
>>36768964
>She started going off about society's standards. How society dictates that women should be trophies and look a certain way, be tall, blonde, blue eyed and slim.
>She said that society is harder on women than men. She said men don't have to do shit while women have to do all sorts of shit to appeal to the standard
I'm telling you right now that someone or some website is feeding her this bullshit and the fact that she's bringing it up to you means that she's internalizing it. She's starting to see herself as a victim of society and not as someone who can change their bad habits to be happier overall.
You have two ways to deal with this:
1. Hard nip in the bud. Next time it comes up, you don't say "aw don't say that". You say "yes, you've gained some weight, and it has affected my attraction to you. I can help you lose it, but you have to want to lose it for yourself first." Then you just let her go ape shit. You're gonna get accused of every variation of sexism there is, and your response should be "ok, still doesn't change how I feel." Hopefully this snaps her out of the woe is me mindset she has and gets her to take the calorie counting seriously.
2. Break up with her. Since she's starting to use the victim language, it means she doesn't see her body as something that can be changed. That means you have to snap her out of that mindset before you can even attempt to help her lose weight. My wife started using the victim language after we were married, so I have to deal with it or lose half my shit. You're not in that position. You can walk away. 3 years is fucking nothing, anon. It's a drop in the bucket in terms of relationships. Get out while you still can.
>>36768964
ok op
i am a liberal sjw and i am telling you to dump her
dont let your emotion cloud your judgment, she is not the person she was when you met her
>>36776877
Spoken like someone who actually goes out. Respect.
>>36776805
Come post back when you're 45-50 and we'll see if you're still shredded AF breh
>>36776879
How did you fix the situation with your wife?
>>36777045
Th-thanks. Seriously though, life isn't as difficult as these faggots convince themselves.
90% of the time I end up "leading" purely by merit that I get the shits with everyone trying to outpolite each other and just real talk or make a decision.
>>36777101
as long as I work out and eat right I see no reason to think I won't be at least a healthy level.
>>36773935
Gross.
>not being a chubby chaser
>not doing your sets and coming home high off test to slam your 3.14 chubby bunny like a freight train
>not completing the symbolic yin/yang of powerful, hard masculinity and soft femininity all day erry day
I shiggly diggly dooty doo-wop
>>36777116
Forcefeeding the redpill.
You have to be quicker on your feet than her and make her realize in her own mind that she's being stupid. It's not as simple as saying "you're stupid" or "you said this. It contradicts that". You have yo restate the two ideas next to each other, their implications, remind her that she said them, and then ask something like "what do you mean/how do you reconcile these statements. Perhaps one is incorrect and you said it because you don't feel well"-
>then you become a salesman
Sell her the idea of changing yourself and taking responsibility. Some of them are too far gone, but this works with women that are in the early stages.
Those further along take legitimate breaking or life changing experiences
>being left
>diagnosed with T2 diabetes
>lots of humiliation from respected source
Even that might not be enough
>>36769068
Plus scales are like 20 fucking dollars how hard is it to just buy one.
>>36774754
>>36777207
>implying either of you low-test faggots would turn that down
>>36777608
>not using the scale at your gym
