today i ate a whole bag of marshmallows like a fat fuck
Like?
>>36756498
Who the fuck eats just marshmallows? They're supposed to be part of something - hot chocolate, smores. Not the entreé, main course and dessert.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
>>36756517
yes.
like.
i'm 5'9", 145 pounds, and trying to get down to 140
>>36756498
On friday I had 5 guys burgers
On saturday I got drunk, and had a 20 chick mcnugget meal with a large fries and oreo mcflurry, then right after I had a pizza bread at Boston Pizza
On sunday I ate pizza and gummy bears, got weed, smoked it, and got another 20 piece chicken mcnugget meal with the same sides
on Monday, I had a large panago pizza with a root beer, a bowl of ben an jerrys, and some oreo cookies
Today is my first day back from the cheat weekend. Feeling good and strong. Also gained 7lbs and still have abs. You jelly?
I've eaten under 1000kcal in the past three days because I'm a depressed fuck
>>36756498
I just "cheated" on a cut. and by "cheated" I mean two sticks on ice-cream and some grapes for a nice 1k calories.
fortunately I am 6'5'' with a BMR of 2000, an work out 6 weeks a week, but today's cut is pretty much gone
>when you lift and eat like a land whale but your genetics got your back
today i fapped with lube 3 hours before lifting and my lifts are total shit
but i had the strongest orgasm ever, fucking lube it's awesome
>>36756688
hold the fap until after lifting
>go to gym
>good workout
>go home
>have lunch
>take a shower
>have a good edging jerk session
>cum buckets
I do an ABxABx routine so I usually save it for after my B day. Today is x and I'm already horny as fuck.
I've missed legs day. The last 3 weeks.
>>36756667
This is a great feel.
>>36756897
i couldn't anon, i was alone at home and after lifting i'm with people that would listen to the lube squishy sounds
I quit deadlifting because they were making me hate lifting and i was stalling on everything anyway. Now i feel better and my all my lifts are going up again. Shit is draining
>>36756601
Fat fuck
leg day is just upper body + standing calf raises
>>36756601
>you jelly
No but you are jigglypuff
>>36756991
Kek
>>36756976
>fat fuck
6'0 185lbs 9% bf
And this morning when I woke up, rock solid tight abs.
Could you ever say that about yourself? After a weekend like that? I have, quite literally, god tier genetics.
In fact, from 18-21, I would eat like shit every fucking day. Breads, white pastas, butter, processed shit, and I still had veins, a core, and definition.
Stay jelly. Cuck
I got sick with a bad cold and haven't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks
>>36757058
>almost sick for 2 weeks
That means you aren't eating healthy.
It should never take more than a couple days to heal a cold if you're eating your fruits and veggies.
>>36756626
Lol I wish I ate less, I just eat my feelings when I'm depressed
>>36757068
That's part of the sin. I was only sickfor like 4 days
I made another mayonaisse sandwich for lunch ;_;
>>36757077
>never going to make it
>>36756498
I spent $120 to fuck an asian backpage escort a few weeks ago. I have a large benis (6" around, 7.5" long), and I didn't give her a chance to warm up before I started really hitting it hard. She started squealing a lot (like in pain) but I figured at the time that was just asian-girl squealing, and I figured I'd paid my money for the ride, I wasn't going to step off now.
When I was done she literally ran to the bathroom locked the door. I dressed and left, and I'm pretty sure she was crying in there. I've been wanting to talk about it for a while, it's eating me up.
Did I rape her? Should I just fuck backpage girls who can actually speak English so I avoid communication errors? I feel bad.
>>36757101
I wouldn't be able to live with myself senpai.
>>36757101
It's not rape if you paid for it! But it's still illegal
>>36756667
who /black/ here?
I have not had a single calorie for 25 hours and I'm about to go pick up 8 fried empanadas...pls stop me.
>>36757101
i got a boner
>>36757101
I don't know why she didn't tell you to stop, even with a language barrier it'd be pretty obvious. Could have just been her first time with that size or she felt too scared to say no.
I wouldn't worry about it.
>>36756991
>>36756909
Same here except I just do seated calf raises.
I've started wearing sweatpants at the gym + muscle shirt so everyone thinks my whole body is swole.
>>36757101
>fucked an escort
>Did I rape her?
Are you kidding me? You paid her right?
If you didn't pay her all I would say is you committed theft.
>>36757213
She didn't push me off or anything, but she was obviously in some pain. I left her an extra $20 on the dresser, I just felt bad the second after I popped.
>>36757155
Fuck off nigger
>>36757141
SoCal cops have waaaaay more shit to worry about upper-middle class white kids fucking backpage chinks.
>>36757181
Wtf is empanadas
>>36757243
ha ha ha ha, nice one man ;^)
>>36757243
>being edgy on 4chan
>>36757243
PORCH MONKEYS OFF MY BOARD REEEEE
I've never asked a girl out
I only eat twice a day
I occasionally do cardio
I accidentally tricked my cousin into doing crossfit
>>36757228
>I left her an extra $20 on the dresser
kek you got played
I ate dinner twice and ended up 300 kcal over my daily limit
>but it fit my macros
Forgive me, father for I have sinned. It has been 2 weeks since my last confession.
I only swam for 28 minutes instead of 30 today. My shoulders and arms were sore from yesterday, so I couldn't keep going.
Feeling weak afterwards, I picked up Panda Express as my post workout meal. I tried to offset it by having half the meal be steamed veggies, but I still feel ashamed.
How many Hail Zyzz's must I do?
>>36756635
two sticks like from a tree?
>>36757345
you have to do my last two digits as pushups reps
>>36757545
C-can't I just self-flagellate? Tomorrow is Push day ;_;
>>36757565
you have to do my last digit as no fap weeks
>>36757574
Yes, father. Praise Zyzz
Currently 22 years old. Going to school, working, and raising a 5 year old full time.
I missed the gym yesterday because I just had to relax and unwind. Drank some god tier finnish vodka and ordered an extra large meat lovers pizza from dominos. Felt bad man.
>>36757574
>>36757593
i feeling grateful today so my last digit is the number of nofap days you will have to bring to god
>>36756564
You're fucking retarded.
Also, check these dubs
>>36757597
Last four digits is how many steps you take today
>>36757001
>tfw roasted beyond recognition
>>36757611
oh baby
i was 1000 calories short today and instead of preparing more food i just ordered a big fucking dominoes pizza
there's actual good pizza around here too i just wanted something soft and safe
>>36757030
Why is the law of thermodynamics hard for retards like you to understand?
>>36756564
Fresh off the boat from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You've got no reputation here, you've got no name, you've got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.
>>36757030
Post pic. No that i dont believe you but id like to see
>>36757680
Fresh meme
Also, check these dubs
>>36757611
>>36757744
fuck 0ff with the dubs shit
>>36757787
Fresh off the boat from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You've got no reputation here, you've got no name, you've got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on 4chan by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is 4chan. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.
>>36757805
>>36757680
please dont try to force this shit
>>36757663
This x 1000. Every time someone claims they eat soooo much food and never gain weight, it's hilarious because it just outs them as a complete retard that can't count calories and is perma-skelly. It's almost sad.
>>36757680
>>36757805
Meme revivalism? Nice. I remember this one. Say something mean about Tinytrip's parents next.
I just ate a peanut butter sandwich. So fucked :/
>>36757680
What did that roastie say
Today I hit a new PR on my squats and then celebrated by eating a huge bean and cheese burrito, 2 cups beans, 1 cup shredded cheese, salsa and a 12" flour tortilla, it was awesome
>>36757826
>all calories are used by the body the same
>>36756498
I ate my own shit the other day.
>>36757078
mayo soup man
I'm 6'3" 160 lbs. and I'm not flexible enough to squat.
I can get low enough but can't keep my heels on the ground.
JUST
>Ate 7 cookies on Sunday.
>Skipped gym today to finish big school project.
Jesus fuck it was worth it. Have to eat light this week though. Just hit my protein goal for the day and I'm broke. Came home from work had one chicken breast and like a pound of carrots.
Should probably go for a run to drive a nail into this cheat meal.
I love clean eating. I really do. But once in a while I want chocolate and sugar.
>>36757925
>7 cookies
>bad
what kind of cookies were they?
>>36757912
Well you tried we will always remember you as the guy who really made an attempt good job
I kept tidy with food the whole day, and then slam! cheese and ham sandwich, meatball, and 2 pieces of chocolate... I feel like disgusting piece of fat shit with no discipline and self control, because I am exactly that
>>36757069
Don't worry, I did a 180 and am eating my feelings right now
>>36757941
kek
any advice though?
>>36757912
do you have proper lifting shoes? Ones with a slight heel?
I'm seriously considering getting something from the vending machine next to me
Pls help
I skipped my workout today because I decided to eat a big bowl of fat free greek yogurt+granola+strawberries for breakfast. It was tasty but thanks to the yogurt my ass has been a firehose the last 3 hours. Guess I'm fully fucked on the dairy front :(
>>36756498
Benchpress me father for I have sinned
>ate a fuck ton if dominos
>got wasted last Friday
>haven't been stretching and pulled a back muscle
Is there any way to atone ?
>>36757999
What is it with American dairy that's so poisonous.
Never had this problem in any of the countries I've lived in.
>>36757520
like 2 units from a box of 9 pieces of Haagen Dazs that you buy at a a Costco. English is my third language.
update: just had a "personal pizza"
>Status: Not going to make it
>CONFIRMED
>>36757934
Not like Oreos. Like the type of cookies you buy a Costco in a clamshell type package. I don't want to know how many calories are in those fuckers. Could have easily been 300 calories a cookie. I don't know how the fuck cookies are so calorie dense.
>>36758019
not sure but it fucks me up too
>always had horrible acne
>cut milk out of diet
>it subsides for years
>got a whey protein powder
>have it for about a week
>face explodes with deep, large painful acne
>>36758128
oh those fuckers
the chocolate chip ones are good as fuck but >150 calories/cookie
>me being able to eat a couple
>pick one
>>36757101
Honestly, you should feel a little bad, and you should fuck partners who can communicate to you. She might have been scared to lose her job if she asked you to go easy. She might have bene terrified that she'd get a bad rap, and then just took it because it'd be easier to take it than to lose business because she was in pain.
Just... be careful okay? Next time be more mindful. You don't get to demean your barber just because you're paying for a haircut.
>>36757101
If you really feel fucked up over this anon maybe you can try and get i contact with her and apologize and shit. Make sure she's okay.
>>36757101
> I have a large benis (6" around, 7.5" long)
>big
I ate some pizza and chicken wings this weekend and had a glass of full-sugar Pepsi. The day after I had some pad thai that I didn't really want. The day after I had super thick ramen. I smoked weed every day this last week and put off my research paper until today. The deadline is Thursday night.
I have a house guest that keeps ordering in instead of letting me cook and part of that is this bangin weed she gets too :c I can't burn calories at the gym because I'm crippled. At least I'm starting physical therapy...
>>36757101
Is this backpage.com viral marketing?
I skipped off on some glute ham raises because some qt was behind me and I had to let one rip. Or two. Fuck.
had a milkshake and burger this weekend. I feel like shit.
>>36758261
this is kind of cute for some reason. one time i was at the gym in the squat rack, and the guy behind me wasn't wearing underwear and popped an enormous boner and didn't move. ur sacrifice is appreciated by /fit/ grills everywhere
>>36757290
>know you will regret eating something shitty
>eat it anyway
why cant i get past this
>>36756498
Just gave this little girl a swirly
There is a pizza on its way to my house right now
Forgive me for my sins
>>36758348
my son you have been forgiven
go now and consume thy pizza and make many gains
I didn't eat anything today because I want to get drunk tonight without feeling as bad.
>>36758334
So jelly
>>36758367
bruh
its not the same
having some chips to munch on is so much better
i was gonna get a thing of captain morgan for tonight but i just got couple cans of beer instead
I skipped the gym and two classes today to hook up with a qt from tinder who attends a nearby school.
>it was leg day
>after we fucked we just watched movies all day in bed
It was rainy and I hadn't gotten laid in a few weeks.
>>36756498
I gained 5 pounds of fat, do to eating fried junk food and peanut butter bread this whole week.
Work out hard, and eat clean all day. As soon as the sun goes down, I consume copious amounts of alcohol and binge eat right before passing out. When will I learn?
>>36758407
You got gobbled up by a gains goblin
Purge now or forever be consumed
>>36758455
But anon
>she works at a GNC
>she will become my gain train to discount town
>>36758455
Kek. And that's why 70% of fit are virgins
>>36756635
>an work out 6 weeks a week
fuck I wish I could stop time to work out
>>36756498
I ate a baby ruth but I'm on a bulk so it's cool
............ r-r-right
>>36757101
goddammit /fit/, I just found a cute ts escort and I kinda want to hit them up, but I don't want this to happen to me.
>>36756498
Ate 2 pizzas, beef ribs and coke. To be fair, it was a goodbye party to a coworker. Still. I wanna be held.
>>36758603
I got fucked by a ts the other day and it was great. Dunno what this guy's problem is.
>>36758649
he probably wasn't interested in getting fucked, more like just light dom, but he didn't convey that correctly apparently.
>>36758603
>not posting pics
>>36758674
>>36756498
i jerk off twice a day
I have a 5 pound bag of gummy bears in my desk at work. I am weak.
>>36758690
nevermind, sorry i asked.
>>36758603
That was the funniest shit I've read in a long time lol
>>36756688
Get a fleshlight bruv, The lady lager's the cheepest of them on amazon and it's nice.
>>36756498
I ate an entire jar of peanut butter, felt so ashamed of myself that I tried to make myself puke. Was unsuccessful. Started cutting after that.
>>36758811
I would say you're lying but those double dubs convince me otherwise.
I refuse to track my calories
Yeah, I know I sin, but if I'm bulking or whatever, does it even matter? I don't even have enough of an appetite to eat maintenance some days, so I just try to overcome on days I do feel hungry.
How to deal with erratic eating schedule?
>>36758221
I'm a human, so yes, that is a large dick.
>>36756498
I had one slice of pizza earlier and a starbucks Caramel Latte
>shoulda drank black coffee
>pizza was free lunch
>>36758844
Double dubs x2.
He IS lying
The dubs have spoken
>had alcohol lastnight
>devoured 250g of bacon at midnight
>woke up with stomach pains
i learnt my lesson
>>36759025
SUMMERBULK 2016!
>>36756498
I went on a bender this weekend with a handful of my best friends who I hadn't seen in quite a while.
>smoked weed
>drank a few dozen beers
>ate pizza for dinner both nights
>mexican for breakfast and lunch both saturday and sunday
>endless amounts of snyder's spicy and honey mustard pretzels
>pad thai for dinner sunday night
>probably a pack of cigarettes
>mfw it only took starving myself and drinking tons of water on monday to feel better and get back to normal weight
>>36757912
Did you remember to put your squat plug in?
>>36761300
your so fucked cunt lol, you think one day no food + water is going to wash all them calories away
>>36756498
I don't like lifting, I just do it to look, feel and be strong.
I haven't lifted in a actual good workout in a couple weeks. I blame it on me resetting my sleep schedule and having fucked up hormones from being nocturnal but we all know that effort is the problem here.
>>36757680
You tell them, senpai!
Ate about 2k over my calorie intake for the day
Feels bad man
forgive me /fit/
>keep failing at my cut
>go great for a few days, then binge
>lifts are stalling
>lifts have actually been stalling for the past 2 months
>have been on a pussy rampage for the past year or so
>fuck em, dump em, rinse repeat
>started to get oneitis for a qt3.14 yoga nerd after only fucking her twice
>bitch is being distant
ffs
>>36757787
You're just salty that you were off by one
>>36756601
>You jelly?
No, are you thinking about eating me too?
I used hook grip and straps on my last set of deads today.
I also didnt progress with The Press
I also didnt do rows and substituted them with pullups because I cant feel rows for shit and I was tired from diddlys.
I will make up for it by going to the gym tomorrow (rest day) and do an hour cardio and dips/ pull ups till failure. Will this exonerate me?
>tfw halfway through a 500ml tub of ice cream
DESIGNATED
Ate a almond butter pastry and half a brioche after trying really hard to eat healthy today. Now binging and can't stop eating shit
>>36765750
STOP. STOP now. Just stop. I know binge eating is a slippery slope so you've just got to stop . fuck all that well everything's ruined I already ate like a fat ass may as well continue attitude. Don't do it. Just stop
>>36756498
I counted calories for my last cheat meal.
Not huge or anything, but I feel like this could be slippery slope-ish on the way to OCD.
I think im going to have to teach myself how to eat at maintenance.
ate far too much waffles today and will continue to do so tomorrow
>>36756897
Fap before the shower so the nasty, sweaty smell will be down the drain.
Post-workout fap is the best.
>>36757680
Best copypasta.
>>36758179
>backp
I usually don't fuck my barber.
I stopped going to the gym for 8 months after I broke a bone and got a little hooked on painkillers. I also gained like 20lbs in fat and I'm borderline obese
>almost done weaning myself off pills so I can go back
>tfw opiates supposedly tank natural test levels so I'm gonna be starting out worse off than I was last year
>>36769402
start eating healthy right now instead of waiting.
also hope you get clean off those opiates. i fuck around with a good bunch of drugs here and there but opiates scare me, i think i'd get hooked too easily. :/
>>36756498
My names Klaus and I killed two teenagers
Two teenagers
I was hammered on bourbon as I took the turn
then ditched the car as my passenger burned
Oh, wait.
I killed three teenagers
three teenagers
I killed three teenagers
Don't tell anyone.
>>36756601
I know that feel
Last Friday I set myself back a shit ton.
I got drunk off 13 beers, ate chips while I was drinking, then I ordered a large pizza to myself with a pop. Then in the morning I had the biggest hangover and went to get a massive McDonalds breakfest. 2 orders of hotcakes, 2 sausage mcmuffins and 2 hashbrowns. Then I didn't eat for the rest of the day
Be careful when you drink lads. It can fuck you up for more than 1 day.
>>36769521
I've been drinking nothing but water, coffee, & ginger ale and eating mostly clean every day but I think I'm not eating enough.
I haven't been keeping strict count of my calories or macros so I know that's part of it.
>>36769586
get on it, bud. best of luck to ya.
when sucking my bf's dick I didn't swallow his cum
that wasted protein :^(
