Hi /fit/.
I'll start off by saying I've posted about this before, and have been a long-time browser and poster of this board. I'm 5'9" (inb4 manlet), 175 and low bodyfat, because of you guys. However, I come to you with another issue. This one is me asking for help from a community that's meant so much to me over the years. It's going to be a little long so bear with me, and if you stay with me till the end, please, any advice you give will be really appreciated. It all started when I was little:
>be me, 7
>play baseball like everybody
>strike out at two outs at during the last inning in the last game of the season
>given participation trophy
>13
>play tackle football
>had one play ever and dropped the ball
>13 again
>wanted to run cross country
>times sucked and I had horrible lung capacity
>13 for the third time
>find my father, who was my best friend and biggest fan, dead in his bed from a heart attack out of nowhere
>14-17
>go to public school where I am bullied
>go to private school where I never found friends
>have lots of acquaintances, no friends
>get no girls
>lift in my spare time because I have nothing else to do
>battle with severe depression over my dad
>want to kill myself
>learn a bit about computers, build them, mess with them, experiment with them, try to learn how to code
>learn some shitty language
>try to teach myself Russian
>fail
>am bad at CoD MWII when everybody at school gets it
>never invited to any Xbox Live parties to play with them
>hardly ever invited to real life parties
>when I do, because life of the party and got as fucked up as possible
>get into college
>lose virginity summer before college
cont.
>go to college
>too loud in the hallways of my dorm
>don't really have anybody I get along with besides a friend from class
>get kicked out of dorm for general rowdiness
>not great grades
>drink a lot to try to sleep because I can't anymore
>get rejected from some fraternities I wanted to be in
>still suck at baseball, football, cross country
>lifts going up, still feel like I look like shit
>sophomore year
>live with class friend
>still don't get many girls
>still suck at those things
>still not learning much in school though get good grades
>junior year
>worst GPA I've ever had
>still not learning anything
>get into the fraternity I wanted to, they appreciate me and accept me
>seen as one of the smartest people they know, though they called me the dumb smart kid because I still acted nuts
>senior year
>live at frat
>have great time
>still not learning anything
>GPA still ass
>get tons of girls
>5th year
>semester one, fail a class
>semester two, finally graduate
>still not learning much
>had internship after school
>learned a lot about my craft
>seemed to have a knack for it
>finish internship, told I would be found a job in my field
>now
>still not very good at anything
>lifts high
>great physique
>graduated with 2.6GPA
>no job
>practitioner of many crafts, master of none
>today
>playing vidya I thought I was good at
>lose
>play more vidya
>still lose
Am I a loser /fit/? I just feel like I'm not good at anything. I feel like I can't learn, like I am destined to be on the wrong side of the winner/loser fence no matter what I do. So, that begs the question that I've asked you guys before. Do I kill myself? Do I admit defeat and end it? I'm out of solutions /fit/. I miss my dad so much and I can't sleep, I feel like my physique is shit, and I'm not very good at anything. I have no fans, nobody rooting for me. I'm alone, except for you guys, which is why I came here. Please, help me.
>>36704891
>>36704819
Now write a 5 sentence summary.
Nice blog, asshat
>>36705010
>>36704948
/fit/ sure isn't what it used to be.
>>36705027
I forgot to add that I'll take that as a yes. See you lads around.
>>36704819
Nice blog, nerd.
>>36704948
All I'm asking is if I should kill myself.
>>36704891
>>36704819
>>36705054
Thanks for the reply.
Stay frosty, /fit/.
>>36705049
No you shouldn't. Why do you want to do that?
>>36705049
>asking this on 4chin
You should get into reading, try meditation too.
Also, have you thought about joining the army? Might help you
