post your exact shower routine including pre and post shower
>>36655965
some of you fags are so autistic. I shower then I towel off and if it's the morning, I put in my contacts brush my teeth and maybe shave. I then go downstairs (because I own a home) and watch fox news and drink coffee and hate minorities. So fucking simple. Just do what I do.
>get wet
>scrub my whole body minus face, dick and anus with vegetable sponge
>wash dick and ass with soap
>wash face with a different soap
>wash hair with shampoo
it takes me 15 minutes to shower
>>36655965
Towel routine
>hair
>chest
>left arm
>right arm
>left leg
>right leg
>back
>crotch
1. Shit
2. Pee
3. Shower (shave in shower if need) - scrub that anus
4. Dry
5. Floss
6. Brush teeth
7. Oral Rinse
8. Lotion
>>36655965
>brush hair before getting into shower
>shampoo hair, rinse
>condition hair, leave it in
>either shave or scrub feet with pumice
>rinse conditioner
>clean body with body wash and loofa
>wash face if needed
>get out
>moisturize face, then body
>>36656194
>Shaving your feet with a pumice
I don't understand how people scrub their ass.
I feel like your sponge/loofa/scrubby/bar of soap/etc would just come out of it covered in/smelling like shit.
Do you keep a separate washing device for your ass? Why would you wash your body and ass with the same thing?
>>36655965
>get in shower
>zone out for like 20 minutes
>apply shampoo
>rinse out shampoo
>get out
i should probably start taking cold showers so i dont zone out so much
In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Check Em
>>36658165
cover your hand in soap and use that.
Take a shit /before/ the shower
Just have water running over me for a few minutes
Wash hair with shampoo
Wash armpits, groin and butt with shower gel and a sponge
Wash face with face wash
Maybe jerk off or pee if I feel like it
Wet shave after shower
Moisturize face
>>36658186
>missing dubs on a board this slow
Newfags, I swear.
>>36658165
You think it would come out covered in shit? Do you not wipe your ass?
I can't believe there are people out there that don't wash their ass. That's basic hygiene.
>>36655965
>take off clothes
>turn shower on
>step in
>rinse hair
>put shampoo in hair
>rinse shampoo out
>put shower gel on hands and wash body
>arm pits, shoulders, arms, chest, back, butt, abs, crotch area, legs.
>take a shit onto my hand and toss it into the bowl
>wash bubbles off
>blast feet with water
>blast dick with water
>keep doing it till i get bored
>get out
>dry
>put clothes on
>>36655980
>contacts
Subhuman filth
My routine is this, except my vision is perfect. I also hate minorities.
>eat, shit, brush, shave (in any order)
>shower
>deodorant
>eye drops
>moisturiser
ideally at least half an hour between shitting and showering, otherwise i get water trapped in my arsehole and it itches all day
>>36655980
>watch fox news
>drink coffee
fucking sheep
>>36658252
>>take a shit onto my hand and toss it into the bowl
Do you actually fucking do this or are you trolling
>>36655965
JUMP OFF TOILET
FLUSH TOILET
TURN ON SHOWERWATER
STAND THERE UNTIL WATER IS COMFY
GETT IN SHOWER
STAND IN COMFY WATER
STARE DOWN AT MY TOES
STARE AT MY PENIS
WASH MY ARMPITS
WASH MY PENIS
WASH MY ASSHOLE
TURN OFF WATER
GET OUT OF SHOWER
>>36656068
>washing your dick with soap
are you actually fucking retarded?
>>36658332
It's the cleanest way. Wiping your ass with dry paper doesn't actually clean your asshole.
Showering cleans your entire body very effectively. Even your angus and hands.
>>36658406
wew lad
>>36658406
you don't need to shit in your hand, though.
Shit in the toilet and then get straight in the shower. No paper involved
>>36658510
The already wet angus makes it come out faster and cleaner though. Less friction.
I guess we all have our own ways though. As long as none of us smell of shit then we're all doing it right.
>>36658551
I mean yeah you are cleaner than the guy earlier in the thread that doesn't wash his ass but shitting into your hand is weird as hell and unnecessary
I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.
>>36658186
I admire your confidence
>>36658551
>>36658593
This is true, shitting in your hand is weird.
>>36658402
I'm not.
what are you? a disgusting filthy nigger?
>undress in bedroom
>grab fresh washcloth
>enter bathroom
>hang washcloth
>turn shower on
>get in
>get body wet
>apply soap under armpits and scrub
>shave armpits
>wet hair
>apply shampoo and scrub
>rinse out shampoo
>apply conditionner
>pour body wash on loofah
>wash body
>rinse body and loofah
>rinse conditionner
>use face wash
>rinse face
>pat face with washcloth
>scrub parts with washcloth and some soap
>scrub ass crack with washcloth
>rinse washcloth and hang to dry
>take hair out of the shower drain
>wash hands with soap
>rinse body and hair one last time
>turn shower off
>pat face with towel
>wrap my hair in said towel
>get out of shower
>dry body with other towel
>clean up my stuff
>exit bathroom
>get dressed
It is as fastidious as it sounds.
>remove clothes
>enter shower
>immediately soap up dick with Dove bar and fap to the thought of this petite QT i used to work with
>ejaculate
>shampoo hair with enviro friendly shampoo
>rinse
>soap up body
>rinse
>wash face with non-comedogenic cleanser
>rinse
>exit shower
>pretend i still love my gf
>shave
>trim eyebrows
>brush teeth
>look down to avoid the mirror
>get in the shower
>body wash
>shampoo
>conditioner
>get out
>avoid the mirror
>dry off legs
>put on sleep clothes (just pants)
>put my towel on the hook
>dry my hair
>put on certain dri
>leave
Hot water masterrace reporting in
>get wet
>if tuesday shampoo hair and let sit
>lather glorious chiseled body in dove sensitive soap
>get pits and taint extra good
>use hand to lather asshole gently massaging my sphincter with my middle finger, careful not to get suds up my bum
>rinse
>shampoo my taint and bum hairs for extra freshness
>wait a minute or two (likely play with my dick a bit)
>rinse of shampooed balls and anus
>enjoy the comfy warmth for a few minutes and get out
>dry everything
>fold underwear into a square and use it as a fan to dry up my anus cavern
>every other day: shave
>get dressed
>jack off
>shit
>get in shower
>spend 15 min contemplating life
>spend 10 minutes thinking over the fact that everyone is going to die.
>7 billion lives to vanish
>shampoo up, later, rinse
>spend 5 minutes laughing at the absurd
>dry off
>go to work
We all gonna make it to the grave
>>36658892
>>use hand to lather asshole gently massaging my sphincter with my middle finger, careful not to get suds up my bum
>>rinse
>>shampoo my taint and bum hairs for extra freshness
> tfw I think of lathering your cheeks with soapy water and pressing myself between you
I didn't ask for this boner.
Make it stop /fit/.
>Step in
>turn on water
>get wet
>start with head
>going down
>use shampoo
>clean head face chest dick butt legs
>wash shampoo off
>step out
>dry
>warm up water
>insert body into shower
>warm water runs down from head to toe
>suppress anxieties and existential feelings
>wash hair
>foaming 3in1 acne facewash
>scrub body with soap head to toe
>moisturizing body wash
>get out of shower fast because almost panic attack
>aloe Vera on arms legs and chest
>feelsgood.jpg
>now I'm calm
>mfw I'm afraid to take showers
Every damn day
>>36658787
Your pubic area and especially your dick skin has a particular ph for normal texture, and scent. Regular soap will wreck that natural ph, and your body will produce more oils to try to bring it back to normal, which will also smell
It isn't the worst thing, but unless you're using soap made for it, it could be better
>>36658252
Kekked.
>>36656098
Towel routine
>crotch
>back
>right leg
>left leg
>right arm
>left arm
>chest
>hair
Floss
Get in shower
Get wet
Shampoo, hair, armpits and ass
Brush teeth
Shave if neccissary
Soap plus luffa everything but hair
Dry off everything
Grab new towel and dry off hair and armpits
Mouth wash
Deodorant
Done
Before I start:
>showering at night
Can you seriously get ANY more pleb? Dirty fucks.
My master race routine:
>wake up
>naked already cuz sleep naked
>wrap towel around waist and walk to bathroom
>turn water on and brush my teeth while it heats up
>begin with shampoo
>proceed with conditioner
>while conditioner is soaking in hair, apply facewash
>wash off conditioner and face wash
>scrub entire body
>rinse with cold water
>dry, apply deodorant
>in this order: boxers, socks, pants, shirt
>proceed to style hair
>apply lotion and cologne
Then I walk out of the door and fuck.
>get undressed
>50 crunches
>get in shower
>wash body with soap
>wash hair
>rinse both
>put in conditioner
>leave in for 4-5 min
>rinse
>dry off
How'd I do lads?
>>36655965
>not taking a dump AFTER the shower
>not dragging a little bit of ass musk to go through the day
>not letting your ass pheromones doing all the work for you
You guys are gay or something?
I generally shower in the afternoons or evenings after work, exercise,or just at the end of the day. I like to be clean when I go to sleep so I'm not rolling around in filth. The duration of my showers is usually 3-5 minutes. My routine is hair first (gravity causes dirty water to flow down) with either light shampoo followed by conditioner or just rinsing with water. I use Shea Butter or Suave. Then face wash, Cetaphil. Then body soap, Ivory bars. I prefer bar soap because it packs well, and liquid soap is too heavily scented. I soap up from my neck to the soles of both feet every time, and in between the toes, underneath the junk, between the cheeks, and the armpits. Every time. Water temperature is mild, I'd say 80-85 F. I rinse, I throw a towel around my head and pat dry, I wrap the towel around the yolk of my neck like a shawl, and pat down the rest of my body. The bathroom door stays open to air out the humidity, the shower curtain is drawn to prevent mold.
Analyze my habits.
>>36655965
>wake up
>immediately run hot shower, inhale steam
>turn water to warm/hot
>rub my body with water getting off any moisturizers put on before bed
>use acne body scrub
>use victorias secret for men body wash if i want to smell good
>hop out, wear a robe until i air dry
>workout at night
>afterwards run a bath putting in maybe epson salt, oatmeal, salt/herb mixture, or nothing
>soak and relax
>maybe soap myself down, rinse off
>pop on another robe, walk around until i air dry
I have short hair and rarely shampoo. If I feel I need it I'll shampoo during a shower once a month. Otherwise I let women wash my hair at the sallon.
>Not one mention so far of pinching your foreskin shut in the shower and peeing till it blows up like a balloon before letting it go everywhere.
I am disappoint
>>36663124
We used to do this to each other in the showers after playing hockey in high school
>undress
>start shower
>pick music
>enter
>wash hair, apply conditioner
>wash body with bar of soap
>rinse soap and conditioner
>wash face with black soap bar
>lather up shaving cream
>apply and shave
>rinse face
>dry off
>apply shave tonic
>wait a few minutes
>apply coconut oil
>make breakfast
>rinse coconut oil, apply moisturizing sunscreen
>apply paste to hair, brush
My skin looks like shit if I miss this just one day.
Do any of you have a heater in the bathroom?
>>36655965
Wet body
Wet hair
Wet face
Scrub hair with fingers
Scrub face
Scrub armpits
Scrub crotch
Basic shower is just a few min, but I usually spend a good 10 minutes letting the water heat or cool me depending on the circumstances.
No shampoo
Soap only if I haven't showered for a while or am extra dirty for some other reason
Body scrubber/exfoliate to remove dead skin periodically
I shave after getting out of the shower.
>>36663124
i'd be afraid of making it burst
>>36663463
>do this to each other
come on man
>>36655965
Wake up
Start hot steam
Shave
Shit
Jump in shower
Scrub skin
Turn water to cold
Soap
Rinse
Dry off
Lotion up
Deo
Cologne
Brush teeth
Get dressed
>>36663882
forgot
Baby powder butt and nuts
Get in shower (water running)
Stand in water for 10-20 secs
*wash hair (only was 1-2 times a week) shampoo rinse followed by conditioner
Face water wash face.
Back to water get lofa and body wash
Wash shoulders, arms, chest, belly, back thighs, puss, then ass.
Shave arm pits (use soap for shaving cream)
*Shave legs (only two 2-3 days a week)
*rinse conditioner on hair day(s)
If it is not a hair day or shave leg day its only 5-8 mins Leg day(s) takes 8-10 and hair day(s) takes 10-15 mins
>Get naked
>Get in the shower
>Turn water on
>Soap myself up
>Let my shit flow freely out of my anus as I let the water run down me
>Use foot to mash it down the drain
>Turn water off
>Exit shower
>Use towel to dry
>get home from work
>coldest water setting
>get naked
>wet head with water without entering
>splash a bit of water on pits and dick
>jump in
>hyperventilate for first 15 secs of shower
>shampoo head
>wash body
>wash head
>get out within 3-4 minutes
>towel up and make dinner
Cold showers wake me the fuck up so I can do some more shit at night, otherwise I just want to conk out after getting home from work.
I haven't had a shower in 2 weeks.
