How to be a man
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
I grew up without a father and I'm sure many of you did too. I never had someone to teach me how be a man during my childhood and I always was the shy niceguy in school.
It took me many years to "learn" and to understand things like for example 3) and 4) in the attached pic.
I'm convinced that many young males today have the same problems, so lets get a thread going where we share advice and help each other become better men.
>>36605557
>how to be a man
Not being called Glenda is a good start
>>36605588
kek I knew someone would come up with that as soon as I saw my name. Bad luck I guess.
>>36605588
go back to mexico, julio
>>36605588
Just do what you do and not give a shit. Don't be emotional and keep working and learning.
I have just the channel for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbGwG7yocXA
>>36605726
I knew this fat girl named janet once, we use to call her janet the planet.
>>36605557
Does anyone have any experiences or thoughts on number 6 about anger and depression? What advice would you give to someone in that situation
>>36605802
It seems like he is viewing in the frame of disassociation, as in depressed people are withdrawing their agency from their negative emotions. In other words, trying to fool themselves into thinking they aren't responsible for what is going on in their world or head. Which a lot of people do. They feel they aren't having a big enough impact on their life, so they resolve to have no impact at all.
>>36605557
My dad was in my life but never really around. So in a way I grew up without a father.
>be kind, don't ever be nice. The original meaning of nice is stupid/foolish.
>pick your friends wisely.
>everything in moderation.
>know how to save money.
>know the difference between thrifty and cheap.
>get your heart broken early. You aren't going to avoid it.
>acquire skills
>be passionate about something
>learn to forgive yourself
>because women construe your excessive emotionality and want as feminine and needy
>without having to deal with your emotional bullshit
SO GO FUCK YOURSELF CUNT. YOU ARE DEAD INSIDE. I DONT WANT YOU.
Hurr never show emotions hurr gotta be a good little stoic robot gotta NEVER LET ANYONE KNOW I care about them as an individual who has inevitably become part of my journey through life and who I will pray for and hold in my heart until I die, no bro, that's for chicks only (THEY CANT HANDLE IT WHEN U DO IT 2 !!!! ;_;)
Yeah, nah, I don't want anything to do with swine so see you later "babe". I'm gonna go be "excessively" emotional.
Narcissistic cunts. Zero empathy. As long as they get to cry on your shoulder. Am I IN SOME KIND OF MOVIE?
Telling me about emotional bullshit. Reddit gold.
brb postironically "crying" in "a" corner about my khv-ity
>>36605775
top kek
>>36605955
I think you lack reading comprehension mate
Tfw, I'm not a Chad name :(
>>36605995
No I don't lack reading comprehension you just expected me to give a counterargument in the traditional sense. Words are what got us in this mess in the first place.
So what's it gonna be? Men aren't allowed to be authentically emotional? Or only when their emotions are completely withered and jaded? Oh it's so cool when a biker gets emotional for 2 minutes isn't it, because he isn't before and after. He's that callous cool guy who showed his "feminine" side for once and that is true masculinity!!!!111
What if I want to cry being a fucking /fa/ggot 24/7? Do I hold back my tears to keep the girl?
I'm sorry but what an idiotic concept. What an idiot concept altogether that I'm supposed to repress anything inside myself that doesn't hurt other people just for a cumdumpster's affection and some mumbled sarcastic "nah I dont really arent not am do cool dude not nah like that bro thats for girls lol naw mean?" every time I can't hold it back anymore. What a life. What a fucking life.
I won't even deny this is how stacies operate. I'm just saying fuck all of you and you will be sorry for what you did to me because I know Jesus is on my side.
>>36606236
>I know Jesus is on my side.
Are you sure about that? I know a guy named Jesus who got deported to the other side of the fence just last week.
>>36606236
If you want the girl then yes.
If the girl doesn't like you for being a fucking /fa/ggot 24/7 then what do you want her to do? Stay with you because you're """"""""authentic"""""""? That's fucking moronic.
>>36606304
>what do you want her to do? Stay with you because you're """"""""authentic"""""""?
Why so sarcastic?
I don't want her to do anything if she doesn't accept me for who I am, crying watching forrest gump or getting goosebumps listening to aic and yes, telling her she makes me feel happy just to be alive or telling her her behavior yesterday made me feel like shit and not HURR I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS BEHAVIOR 8-|
I'm a sensitive guy. I know I won't get the stacy/karlie/tay with my mindset nor am I interested in a stacy beyond the fuckpuppet ideal inside my head. Good thing there is porn for that.
>>36606420
That's fine then, you're previous post made it seem like you felt you were entitled to a girl putting up with your sensitivities despite her not liking them.
Relationships are two way, you need to find a girl who's content with an emotional guy (which is entirely possible).
>>36605557
>Your impending sense of doom is nothing but emotional residue - there is nothing wrong. Even when something is wrong, nothing is wrong. You deal with problems as they arise, no big deal
The post that keeps on giving
>>36605947
>be kind, dont ever be nice
i learnt that too late
>>36605557
>have a father
>remember spending a lot of time with him until beginning of high school
>he has to travel a lot and work. We could follow him to all of the places he works but we would have to move to different school at every grade level.
Last thing i remember learning from him is how to throw a punch....
>>36606236
>Do I hold back my tears to keep the girl?
If you want to increase your odds of success, yes.
Since you're clearly an autist, think of it this way:
> there is you, you have some sort of value
> doing the right things increases your value
> doing the wrong things decreases your value
> your final value is how you "keep the girl"
Don't want to do the right things? N O P R O B L E M. Just understand that this means the kind of girl you'll get will HAVE to be of a lower quality.
Now, if you're a Chad, this is probably not that big a deal, but the thing is... considering you're already an autist, you're probably fat and ugly AND to top it all off you're doing everything wrong... it's quite possible that not even the hambeasts will want anything to do with you.
And that's fine! There's no problem there. Just be alone, if that's how you want to roll. Just, you know, don't complain that life is unfair when you're the one making all the wrong choices.
>>36605557
I grew up with a father, lots of us did, why didn't you?
>>36607174
because my parents broke up when I was young.
He was there, but as a friend. He's a manchild and when he came visit it felt like my older brother or an older friend came visit. He taught me nothing, all I "learned" was because I had an example of how not to be right in front of me.
>>36606732
It's never too late Travis
>>36605600
Fuck off Julio
>>36605955
Good job proveing his point, molly.
>>36606732
I'm pretty sure I just realized this, though I've learned about it for a while.
I'm probably older than you.
>>36605588
Dank meme breh!
>>36607902
thx bro
>>36606236
>What if I want to cry being a fucking /fa/ggot 24/7?
You shouldn't expect women to find a lot of neediness attractive, they can't replace your mother. I think that's the underlying truth. They want you to replace their father and without realising it I think a lot of men want women to replace their mothers.
>>36605557
>cigarettes stunt emotion growth
What does he mean by this?
>>36605557
I think i might be too nice, at the same time, too rude.
How do you simply just choose a state of mind an keep it until you hit the grave?
If we where to be like this, we would be borne statues and not seek to chisel ourselves through actions we do in daily life, dont you think so?
ITT: pathetic beta males getting emotional about not being allowed to be emotional.
You want to be a man? Follow pic related
>>36606236
Listen man don't try to become someone you're not, you can't drastically change your personality in the long term. Eventually Stacy will figure out it was a a facade. It's more important to find someone who appreciates you for who you are rather than try and force yourself to become a "man." Maybe Stacy won't want to sleep with you if you have a "feminine" personality but meaningless sex with a dumb bitch =! happiness
>>36606732
what's the difference between being nice and kind? genuinely curious
OP I grew up without a father too.
If you want to become a man, figure it out for yourself. There isn't a concrete definition, no right or wrong way.
Develop a set of values, principles, and be confident in them and yourself. You'll do fine.
>>36606236
Anon Imma tell you the secret about bitches. Women fucking hate it if you bring up their exes in a negative manner, doing so seems to push them back towards the people they'd been with in the past. Whereas just talking about them casually or trying to learn about their background and past relationships is completely fine, as long as you do it from a place of respect. Women who aren't invested into a relationship with you will also be scared away by emotional outbursts that include them, or are towards them, but not if you're emotional about something else. I'll give you an example: I once fucked a girl at a party who subsequently fell in love with me when I told her a story about how I almost drowned while surfing in the aftermath of a coastal earthquake. I told it so well I cried, but if they're bitch tears about dumb shit that includes them they'll probs respect you less. I dont get that shit either but then Im also fucking done with relationships.
The secret imo isnt being a bad boy or being cold/emotionally detached, it's about holding your shit and being able to maintain an aire of neutrality in differing situations.
>>36609789
Don't be beta nice and help people to make them like you. Help people if they need the help and deserve it
>>36605955
(You)
>>36609442
Smokers don't know how to cope with stress without smoking
>>36605557
I feel you
Stoicism is the best way for me to become a man
>>36609442
Cigarettes are generally (though not always) a sign of an emotionally immature person, someone who has not grown beyond the 16 year old tough-guy smoker YOLO mentality. I would disagree with the idea that they stunt you emotionally; they are not the cause, but rather a symptom of emotional immaturity. In my experience sluts, idiot dudebros and degenerate neckbeards often smoke. Disrespecting your body in this way is childish.
I think a lot of this is cultural though. I mean, in earlier times everyone just smoked because that was the done thing.
>>36609789
What >>36609865 said and to add to it... Being a nice person, they tend to get walked on and/or taken advantage of. They tend not to stand up for themselves. Generally when a chick says a guy is nice, she can't think of anything else to say about him.
A kind person on the other hand, like Rodney said, help people if they need and deserve it. They aren't looking for anything in return and don't allow themselves to be disrespected.
Just to add on to what I was saying earlier here >>36605947
>learn how to manage expectations, yours and others.
>things that affect people's opinion of you:
>what your friends and family say
>how you act
>how you present yourself
>how clean and kept your car and home are
>it may not be fair but it's true
>first impressions can always be overcome, bad or good.
>be open to new things
>if you can't treat people fairly, treat them with respect
>always try to improve yourself in some way. a little bit in one area affects other areas.
>set goals
>>36605557
Yeah, he shills his book constantly and buy's into holistic bullshit, but this guy's advice on women and business is unparalleled. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQTAVxA4dNBCoPdHhX9nnoQ
>>36605557
There are always exceptions to those rules
The girl I want is in love with the most piss-moaning little bitch of a guy
Always saying how depressed and awful he is to get more attention out of her
And yet he still gets to slay that ass.. It's never easy bros
>>36610430
and here you are moaning on a mongolian basket weaving forum, good job anon
>>36607902
You go girl!
what
