Planet fatness
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
I thought they were just memes, but it's true it's all true.
Brothers Gf got a job at planet fitness today was her first day.
Says they have 2 tootsie roll buckets and the whales were upset asking why there were no purple tootsie rolls in them today (they ran out). She was also taught how to use the lunk alarm and was show how to correct people who are trying to get gains and making sounds while working out (because it's not that kind of gym).
Anyone else have stories they're like to share about this "gym"
>>36561152
What's the sound rule like? I can understand a ban on those fags who turn into the Incredible Hulk on a simple bar curl, but how about people in the middle of heavy lifts like bench press or squats.
>>36561253
>heavy lifts
>planet fitness
you're not supposed to do that there
idk why people who are serious even sign up there they should know better
>>36561152
Lunk alarm?
>>36561253
>I can understand a ban on those fags who turn into the Incredible Hulk on a simple bar curl
fuck off. it's a gym. if turning into the incredible hulk on curls makes my training more fun and lets me get an additional rep I'll do that.
>>36561273
>idk why people who are serious even sign up there they should know better
do serious people really sign up there?
>go to Dothan, AL to pick up client from work with flat tire
>drive past PF on way there
>rolling tracker tires from one side of parking lot to another
>pass on way back
>6 of them per tire are hopping around on tire flat on ground, on top of the tire while chanting
The fuck is going on in there gyms?
she said it was an middle aged guy benching and he was kinda grunting so he was told to stop then he stated doing it louder mockingly and was told it he did it anymore he would be kicked out.
Lunk Alarm is a alarm they sound if someone drops weights or is making to much noise, there's YouTube videos showing it.
>>36561253
Planet fitness doesn't have barbells
>>36561320
...do you mean tractor tires?
>>36561294
>please validate me while I'm in the gym guys please please please look at me guys
Honestly not sure if you're memeing me or not, but if you have to consciously vocalize while you're lifting when you otherwise wouldn't then you're being an attention whore fag
Was on a smiths machine
>>36561340
Yeah, phone ate tractor and replaced it with flat for some reason.
>>36561381
That is a legit exercise and I am genuinely surprised that a PF would have that available. Was there a crossfit or strongman gym in the same parking lot?
>>36561333
Some do, most don't
It's ya usually only 3 or 4 strongmen jump on the tire at once and chant tho they had 6.
>>36561320
Sounds like some kind of weird ritual.
>>36561449
Automotive necromancy
>>36561427
at my sisters gym they told her they are getting rid of them in all franchises.
It makes a HUGE difference in insurance costs and their ideal client doesnt show and forgets the monthly charge anyways.
>>36561352
you're a complete autist. other people might be different from you yet be allowed to have fun. until you understand that you are no better than planet fitness.
>>36561409
THey were not flipping them, they were walking them from one side of the parking lot to the other, with like 4 people touching the tire at a time.
When we came back and it was laid down, they had several people standing on top of the tire, with their hands on one another shoulders. They would then hop forward, keeping contact with the other people on the tire.
Honestly looked like shit aliens who hung out in a gym though normal humans do.
I went to a planet fitness and signed up for a membership because it was the closest gym in my area and I really needed to shed a few extra pounds
I go home for a while and change into my workout clothes, take some pre workout and arrive back at the gym
It just so happened to be pizza night the day I signed up
>Alright, I don't really like pizza anyways I'm just going to work out and ignore it
>Place is pretty packed but not like a normal gym with cardio bunnies and people actually dedicated to working out
> Whales. Whales everywhere.
> Thier faces covered in Lil Ceasers hot n ready pizza grease loudly and obnoxiously laughing and talking with mouthfuls of food
This is going to be a long few hours
Saddened and further fueled with motivation from having to look at thier hopelessly obese bodies and the fact that they're gorging on pizza. At a gym. I go to an empty treadmill and get set up and I shit you not, the equipment was fucking covered in pizza grease
> I move on to the next machine beside it and I inspect it before setting up this time, and it's the same shit; fucking pizza grease.
I have more horror stories of the time I was there if anyone wants to hear
>>36561488
I saw a group of ladies crabwalking around the freeweight section of my moms ymca. Personal trainers are the worst.
>>36561501
I'm curious
http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2014/12/17/371463435/episode-590-the-planet-money-workout
Reposting great podcast on Planet Fitness business plans and construction.
tl;dr:
>build gyms that look like bars or resturaunts
>charge low prices to encourage a lack of investment in personal fitness and allow people to feel good about maintaining a gym membership
>focus on individuals who will come very erratically, cutting down on equipment and facilities maintenance
>>36561532
upboat
>>36561152
>2 tootsie roll buckets
the one i went to while traveling had a huge NO JUDGMENT TEE HEE sign on the tootsie roll buckets
>>36561294
Kill yourself.
>>36561532
>>36561310
Actually they have a great business model - their target audience is those who would sign up, pay a monthly fee, and never go
It's pretty smart
>>36561561
GOMAD, son!
Drink the half&half too.
>>36561562
Unfortunately that's what I did. I signed up 2 years ago and I went exactly twice. Biggest waste of money...
I'm not part of a more expensive gym and have gone every week, 3 to 5 times depending on what's going on in my life.
>>36561352
Wtf? Validating? Its a known fact that screaming releases testosterone which gives extra strength to lift an extra rep or two after failure.
Wait, was that a bait?
>>36561152
I have been there a while, more because there is not affordable gym near me besides PF. ($10/month or $80/month).
My only two complaints are the barbells and dumbbells only go to 60 lbs and more importantly they only have Smith Machines, which are dogshit.
Also I never go on pizza day.
>>36561501
i'd like to hear them no matter how boring
>>36561152
This place is brilliant. Attracts the overweight masses by banning anyone who is there to succeed and doles out a low cost subscription based plan that sits in fatties account statement month after month sucking it's 15 or so a month plus fees plus amenities plus whatever. Then on top of that if anyone actually makes progress they stop them with free candy and pizza....at a gym. It's like setting up a liquor store next to a populat AA meting place. it's crazy.
I honestly might start going there do to the fact I only use the gym at the college I go to and the summer hours are shit and I work midnights 4 nights a week and the other 3 I could go at like 3 in the morning for some extra work.
>>36561612
Sauce?
From then on, I decided to avoid going to the gym when I knew there would be a pizza night so I would plan my workouts accordingly
>Go on a Friday around 9pm because I love working out at night when it's not as crowded
>Wearing loose shorts and moderately loose t shirt because mid summer
>There are a few regulars who are usually always here, let's call them Crisco, Starbucks, and "Tadder", since that's what they actually called her
>All three over 350lbs with Tadder being the "smallest" (in stature but certainly not in width) of the bunch
>All three obnoxiously loud assholes, the kind that talk loudly about other people and gossip even if that person is within hearing distance
>Starbucks appears to be the leader of the pod, always carrying the largest, most sugary, calorie ridden drink available from Starbucks with her (I once actually saw her take out maple fucking syrup from her bag, and squirt most of the bottle in whatever the fuck she was already drinking)
>Crisco is the largest, easily over 400lbs at about 5'7" also the dumbest and has a nasty habit of "flirting" with anything that looks her way, cellulite so bad in the yoga shorts she wears that are stretched beyond capacity to sheerness, that it literally pokes out like an overfilled trashbag
>Every day I have to walk by them to get to the treadmill part of the gym
>Every fucking day they make some smart ass comment about me as I walk passed
>Did I mention Starbucks was best friends with the manager?
>Can't do anything about it because the next gym is 25 miles away and closes at 9pm every day
>fml
>But this day, they actually confronted me instead of mumbling shit
>Starbucks: "You've been here for a month now and it doesn't look like you've lost any weight. Cardio doesn't work, you're wasting your time."
>mfw the bitch actually pulls this shit
>mfw all she does is sit around and talk to her buddies and drink maple syrup
>mfw I have no face
Smile politely and walk to my machine
Pt1/?
>>36561955
Go nigger.
>>36561561
tfw no whole milk at my gym. I wish I had a great gym like this to support the dirty bulk
>>36561955
>>Starbucks: "You've been here for a month now and it doesn't look like you've lost any weight. Cardio doesn't work, you're wasting your time."
>>mfw the bitch actually pulls this shit
why are they at the gym then?
I know this girl who used to work out there. She said that she was told to stop stretching the way she did because it was "too professional" and that other people are not that flexible.
>>36561955
Follow God's edict and put fecal matter in the complimentary pizzas.
Everyone will learn from the experience
>>36562080
ahahaha what the fuck- seriously?
>>36561955
>>Go on a Friday around 9pm because I love working out at night when it's not as crowded
same
>>36561955
When the fuck are we getting the next part anon?
>>36561955
Beta pussy detected
What stopped you from confronting her? Your low test? Do you even have balls?
So what if manager kicks you out, you can run on the street, you dont need treadmill anyway.
>>36561152
I don't really have a frame of reference to make fun of this place. It's my first gym.
I only go in the mornings on monday, so I've never borne witness to the pizza. In the afternoon it turns into a tanning salon with a gym stapled on the side.
The handicap shower in the locker room is what really baffles me though.
>>36561955
Be me at 15lbs down since I started a month and a half ago
I'm happy with my progress, get compliments from family members and friends
no gym buddy so doing this by myself
>Hatred for Starbucks and the pod squad actually fueling workouts
>All is well
Not for long
>See Pod squad giving me looks
>The usual
>Nice lady working the night shift walks up to me as I'm doing my miles listening to music
>"I've got a complaint that you've been making rude comments about some of our members"
>Wut
>See smirk spread across Starbucks's greasy, more pig-like than human, face
>"Here at planet fitness we promote a friendly environment and behavior like this can and will result in the suspension of your membership here."
>You've got to be fucking kidding me
>Be polite to lady trying to explain that I have not said one word to anyone since I first started coming to that gym
>She isn't having it because her job is on the line
No one crosses Starbucks
>Give in, apologise and say it won't happen again
>Finish workout in half the time
>Plot sweet, sweet revenge
>>36562109
Not fucking with you, unfortunately.
>>36562172
Sorry man, I'm doing this on mobile
Why do grunters grunt in front of other men?
>>36562232
>admitting guilt to something that never happened
You've already lost.
>>36562232
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? GO FULL NIGGER ON HER
>>36562322
Have you ever benched more than 1.5x your bodyweight or deadlifted 2-2.5 times? I personally hiss push push push but honestly I have no control because I care less about the noise coming out of my mouth than getting that weight up.
>mfw Crunch uses their pricing model and even their slogan while actually being a decent gym
>>36562349
For what purpose?
>>36562367
>purpose
You are being dominated and buttfucked by a pig.
Do it for justice, do it for yourself.
>>36562367
Pride?
I would call the closest corporate office and say:
>"Pardon me but there is a group of very aggressive women that openly mock fat men at my gym, and they seem to know management. They constantly berate my body and shame me. There are no other gym options and I have nowhere left to turn. Please help me!
I guarantee you will be compensated and it will trickle down. Or if you do not want to make the effort just put in a bad yelp review of what you just wrote.
>>36561805
DBZ
>>36562080
Cause deep stretching, much like deep squatting is oppressive and the human body isn't really made to handle it anyway, you could tear something.
>>36561488
>they had several people standing on top of the tire, with their hands on one another shoulders. They would then hop forward, keeping contact with the other people on the tire.
sounds like a good way to get injured, if I'm picturing it right
>>36562232
You should push one of them onto their backs. They won't have the body nor the constitution to be able to get back up
I guess southern ones are better, we can deadlift at night, squat, on the Smith machine, make fun of the fatties and talk shit about trannies going in the women's bathroom, pretty chill. The only problem is the gym friend I made there wants to get me into crossfit and mma
While we wait for >>36562232, I may as well share my one experience going to the gym, courtesy of my mother who's deluxe membership lets her bring in a guest free of charge.
>The tootsie rolls are real.
>The gym was 80% treadmills and elliptical.
>Almost no one in the vast cardio section was sub-20% bf.
>Hop on leg press machine. A guy immediately asks how long I'll be.
>Say awhile, but he can work in. He says no, but asks if he can use some 45s.
>I need them but I'm a lil bitch so I let him take some anyways.
>The place had 3 benches, in a HUGE fucking gym, 3 benches. And only one set of every fucking dumbbell.
>The benches were always in use. Always.
>No towels, and the place was a sauna.
>Throughout the entire workout, you get men asking if you're using all your 45s.
Because there's no plate rack. Just a few loose 45s out in the wild that are in great demand and in little quantity.
>This is a poorer area so there's some legit jacked dudes. I guess they can't afford better. Sad.
>Drinking fountain is on the other side of the gym, as far away from the weights as it possibly could be.
>Wasn't a problem for me but in general, they should have a smith machine and they didn't.
>Constant fear of setting off the lunk alarm.
>Their bars were fucking sandpaper designed to shred your hands as much as possible. They legitimately hate you if you're in weights.
>Never again.
>>36561561
carbs and whole milk, gotta eat big to get big CMON
>>36561485
If your idea of "fun" is grunting while curling. You're most likely an attention whore and think everyone is mirin. Nope just wondering when your dumb ass is leaving the gym because your some teenaged cringe worthy fag from your attire to the way you curl a 30lb weight.
Treadmill or elliptical? I'm new to this cardio thing.
>>36562232
O shit. Dis white boi gon shoot up a gym
>>36562278
You ask and you shall receive
Pissed the fuck off at what has just happened to me, my post workout bliss has been ruined and has now been replaced with thoughts of the most evil, demented torture I could possibly place on Starbucks and the pod squad
I come up with a brilliant plan
>Walk into gym on pizza night
>More crowded than a designated shitting street in India after a curry festival
>Perfect
>Arrive at my machine and bask in the happiness that the thoughts of the shit that's about to go down bring me
>Hear a scream
Its Starbucks
I work at the same Starbucks she orders her drinks from.
For weeks I've been shitting on baking paper, rolling it out really thin, and drying it out in my backyard in the summer sun
>I live in the south, not very many neighbors and the smell of cow and animal shit always hanging around in the air so the smell wasn't very noticeable
The shit would then break easily into a weird kind of dry shit clod that was easily broken down into smaller pieces like mud that had dried into a hard but brittle dirt
I would take the shit that I've collected and ground up into a finer not too powdery but not too chunky mixture, and I'd give it to a buddy of mine that works the shift right after mine
>She always comes in treating him like shit, asking for it to be made with eight fucking pumps of Carmel, five pumps of creamer and with extra whipped cream on top
>He's been dumping small amounts of shit dirt into Starbucks's Java chip frappuchinos for weeks now
>I smile as the screams get louder and more disturbed
>"THERES A PIECE OF SHIT IN MY FRAPPUCHINO!!!"
>I am consumed with the indescribable feeling of pure elation as the realisation of what I've just pulled off hits me
This time my buddy put an entire shit log of mine into her drink
>She dropped her drink on the floor and ran outside bawling
>Her humiliation in front of a gym full of 50+ people
>Her ingesting my shit for weeks up until now
>I continued my work out in peace
>>36562654
Thank you anon, I can now go to the gym in peace.
I use to live by one in the Midwest that was full of negros. I actually really liked it there because you aren't going to say no to a bunch of hulked up blacks when they want to do heavy lifting so they never banned it.
>>36562654
How the fugg did she not smell the poo.
Damn
>>36562654
>things that happened
>>36562671
I'm sorry for the wait; just know there's someone out there, maybe in a gym near you, that won't take any shit.
Someone out there that dishes it instead
>>36561320
I got arrested in Dothan. Fuck Dothan
The one near my place is decent. It has free bench there. The pizza meme also true. I rarely heard the lunk arlam. Tons of cardio machine, like shit ton of them.
>>36562723
We salute you
>>36562706
You don't have to believe my story man, hell, I don't know if I'd believe it if I hadn't have orchestrated the entire thing, but there is nothing sweeter than seeing someone you hate drink your shit for weeks.
Why do they have tootsie roll buckets? I am honestly curious about how they justify that. What is the reasoning?
>>36562687
It was added to her drink in small enough amounts, blended in just the right way, and by the time it had dried out completely in the sun, it had lost most of its smell
>>36562654
Well, the payoff happened, but I'm still here.
Got any more stories? You can make one up if you want to, I'll believe it anyway :D
Posted that shit to imgur too god damn good not to share.
>>36562778
Something something treat yourself for doing well
>>36562778
I'll sometimes pop one in when I walk in
it's the whole sugar boost idea
I've seen people grab handfuls though
also, my dad watched a guy eating slices of pizza in the locker room after a workout
humanity is sad
>>36562915
Oh, I've got shitloads of stories left man; I just need to take a shower and I'll be back to tell as many as I can before the thread dies
>It wasn't just that one incident that sent me over the edge. I'm not an easily angered person and I don't usually hold a grudge, but goddamn it, they treated me like the shit Starbucks ate in the end.
>>36562778
To keep the permafats permafat so that they keep their membership.
>>36562761
How did your Starbucks not get in a world of trouble?
>>36562654
Thank you, i can now rest well.
>>36561561
Japanese aren't allowed into planet fitness because the staff are scared of them harpooning their members.
>>36562654
Show shit with timestamp
>>36562654
10/10
>>36561501
More stories please
>>36561485
Spotted the skinny weak bitch faggot level 10.
>>36563068
FUCK YOU WHAAAALE! FUCK YOU DOLPHIIIIN!
>>36561532
Makes sense kinda. I don't know why it "costs" the gym money when I go there. If they're going to be open anyway, why would me coming and doing curls cost them money? Depreciation of the dumbbells through usage?
>>36561532
>we find out the price of a gym where everybody comes all the time
>500 per month
>500
>PER MONTH
honest to god, that's just as big of a fucking scam. fucking 6000 a year in disposable income, buy a fucking home gym.
holy fuck to be quite h with you my f.
good link though, thanks anon.
>>36563220
I have returned and I'll be writing stories of Starbucks and the pod squad until I get too tired, then it's off to bed for me
I'll return again some day, maybe sometime again this week or so but this won't be the last of me
>>36563482
You are making a bored security guard very happy anon. May gains and qt3.14s come your way.
>>36563482
Got a shit-eating grin on my face from these stories
>>36563465
Yeah my jaw dropped to the fucking floor when I heard that price.
When I live near LAX in SoCal I used to drive through Manhattan Beach, a small insanely expensive place to live because every home is basically beach view others beach front, gorgeous beach.
Anyway, there was a tiny gym, looked amazing from the outside, and you could see the ocean from the weight room, their price was 299 which I thought of course is insane but if you live there you have cash to burn.
But 500, 500?! How the fuck can these people dedicate that much time to the gym and make that much money to afford it, it's insane!
>>36562756
Where the hell did you find six pl8s at a planet fitness??
>>36563677
Probably brought them from home.
>>36563677
He brings his own
>>36563039
Pt4/?
Its time the gf finally moved in with me and it's been a rough week of moving things back and fourth from her house to mine
We've been on a weight loss journey together, although we could never really be there for each other in person because she lived so far away
She's actually taken up fitness like I have
>feelsgoodman.jpg
She landed a second shift job pretty quick at this desperate convinience store so she normally works out in the daytime around 5pm or so just before she goes to work
It's finally the weekend and she's off so we head to the gym for our first work out together since she moved in
>Walk through the door and immediately I know tonight isn't going to end well
>Crisco is dressed in this pair of yoga leggings, nearly audibly crying from the stress her amorphous blob of a lower half is putting on them
>Stretched so tight they're sheer
>Literal, LITERAL fupa so big that her pants are tucked under it, they HAVE to be, the waistband of the yoga pants could not contain all of the stomach that was hanging down so it had to be fucking draped over it
>Tight tank top just barely long enough to cover the very edge of the bottom of her fupa that said, and I quote, "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me"
>The pod squad shifted their greasy gaze from me for once, but only to stare down the gf
>gf told me she felt uncomfortable
>Feel like beta faggot regardless of who I really am because I can't do anything about it without making the time I come here, even more hellish
>"Just ignore them and let's get our workouts over with, what are they going to do, eat us?"
>She giggles and I feel better about the situation
>Get her started, she's on the treadmill beside me going at a good pace and I get settled in, put my earphones in and listen to music
>Put of the corner of my eye I see something huge moving my way
>Is it a black rhinoceros back from critical endangerment?
>No, of course not, it's Crisco and she's brought someone with her
>>36563868
Jesus this shit reads like fiction. Continue pls
>>36563868
I don't even care if this is real or not. This shit is hilarious
>>36561253
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1wBzEurxSjk
>>36562610
Are you fat? Then bike or rowing machine. Otherwise it doesn't matter, cardio is cardio. I quite like the ellipticals because I have a bad back and moving my arms helps a bit.
>>36561152
>been there for a couple of months
>don't give a shit about what other people do or don't
>concentrate in my work out
>smile as I realize I'm getting closer to my goal.
the FIN
>>36561561
Joke's on them, this would be great for my bulking out of auschwitz.
Do you even PODAD (pile of doughnuts a day)?
>>36564056
>auschwitz.
how did you let that happen on the first place?
>>36561805
Could just be bro science, but when I took martial arts we were taught to "kiyap" as it gives an emphasis to the push, stemming from your core which is were strength comes from
>>36563868
MOOOOOOR
>>36561253
>heavy lifts
They limit they weights you can lift.
Let's be perfectly clear on something. PLANET FITNESS IS LITERALLY NOT EVEN A GYM. IT'S A PLACE WHERE FAT PEOPLE GO TO CONVINCE THEMSELVES THEY'RE "WORKING OUT" WITHOUT HAVING TO ACTUALLY WORK OUT. IT'S A SCAM COMPANY, NOTHING MORE.
I dunno man.. if I was underweight and was working out.. Id hit up PF.. because of the free food. Why the hell not?
Are you forced to eat it inside the gym.. or can you take like half a pie and walk out and eat at home?
>>36563868
Type faster nigger
>>36562654
Yea what a bunch of bullshit haha not even somewhat believable story there bud
>>36562590
>lunk alarm
can someone please explain what the heck this is
>>36564210
If you grunt too hard at the gym, lift heavy weights, drop weights or otherwise look "judgemental" or oppressive, some faggot at the reception will sound a fucking air raid alarm. Nobody tells you anything or comes up to you, the alarm just howls and that's it. You are expected to feel shame, embarrassment, etc. SJW passive agressiveness at its finest.
>>36562654
not believing any of it.
>>36564210
You're getting judged in a judgement free Zone for judging
>>36562761
This could kill someone... learn about fecal poisoning.. your story is shit, and you should feel bad for wasting everyone's time. You could have told us the truth.. those fat fucks told you to stop making gainz and used their power to influence management... you bowed down to the hambone.
>>36562654
Amazing story...but am I seriously to believe that whalelord didn't go straight to starbux and find the manager and ride his fucking ass until she got a million dollar payout?
She has evidence, witnesses, that should have been headline news...
>>36563868
man hurry up its been like an hour
>>36564210
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eAj08nAFP4
>>36562654
so obviously fake and not even clever
>>36563068
>>36564323
>Mfw
That was fucking great.
I had heard about this thing but I've only actually been in a Planet Fitness like three times. (Chubby qt wanted to lose weight in January, enlisted my help, she couldn't stick to a routine but made up for it with horizontal cardio.) It's kind of fucking creepy.
Does the "judgment free zone" not see the irony in demonizing a passion for fitness?
Also that looks like a lawsuit waiting to happen, inciting a panic and all that. Moment someone gets startled and eats shit on a treadmill PF is getting sued.
I remember them having zero barbells, and just a bunch of smith machines. Wtf?
Is PF just a business that caters to people who like the idea of getting in shape without actually putting work in?
>ERMAGERD Anon you're looking great, what's your secret, I go to the gym every week day, just like you, and I've been doing this acai garlic lemon grass cleanse...
Why don't normies understand that there's a big difference between fucking around on a treadmill for 20 minutes and fucking around with machines for an additional 40 Mon-Fri whilst still eating terrible, and living off of literally nothing but legumes, produce, and fish and doing an hour on the elliptical before a PPL routine Mon-Fri?
I try to explain how muscle groups work and what calories are and they just get that vacant stare in their eyes. Like the moment I mention "effort" or "self control" people lose all interest.
Fuck. Sorry for ranting. It's just people ask me how I went from Bobby Bitch-tits to SUPLEX CITY, I tell them literally how, and they just go off on a tangent about how it would be impossible for them.
>>36564323
Kek, sounds like the firealarm of my small hometown
>>36564480
PF is a scam for fatties. They feel they are losing weight just because they have a gym membership. Those who actually bother to go there gorge themselves on food. Then they check the weights, see that nothing has changed and renew their membership.
Need I say that PF is owned by a bunch of heebs?
>>36564510
>check their weight
self-fix
>>36561152
I started browsing /fit/ about 2 months ago, and I genuinely believed the name of the brand was "Planet Fatness" until a week ago.
>Am I retarded?
>>36564510
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMN1vLa1O1w
>gorge themselves on food
For real. The tootsie rolls, pizza, and donuts aren't myths.
The aforementioned QT got all hurt when I told her to pass on pizza one of the days we went.
>"But why anon"
>"Because when every day is cheat day, you're only cheating yourself. We're not here to eat, we're here to lift."
It's criminal what PF does; make no mistake, losing weight is HARD. Like I said I went from Seth Rogen bod to Tom Hardy bod and it was extremely difficult, this place literally scams people out of their money then sets them up to fail.
There should be a law that prohibits fitness establishments from selling or distributing processed food products.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbK3wWpWNto
Planet FatMess: Literally a cult
>>36561273
-training for a marathon and don't want to run outside
-be le granny or gramps and just wanna not go to shit
-have home gym but still want cardio and tanning beds etc
-have home gym but want to be mired women in their 40s
-have a thing for sweaty fattys
-second gym bc cant always make it to main gym
plenty of reasons to join PF
>>36564592
>tanning beds
Are you a faggot, a guido, a retard, or all three?
>>36561652
>my only complaint are that the barbells and dumbbells go up to 60lbs
>the barbells go to 60lbs
>that's not even close to lmao1pl8
How do you do anything? I couldn't even OHP with that weight
>>36564592
>training for a marathon and don't want to run outside
This. Where I live it gets very cold.
I have an Olympic bench at home for my chest, arms, and back. I go to PF to do cardio, abs, and to get checked out by qts while I lift.
>>36564592
If you're training for a marathon on a treadmill, you're setting yourself up to get fucked.
>>36561612
>Its a known fact that
No it isn't you fucking mongrel.
Take a look at for example tennis, the women will moan and groan every strike, the men are silent and focused.
>>36563868
FUCK YOU ANON
WHY DID YOU HAVEVTO GET BANNED I READ THIS INBETWEEN SETS AND FORGOT I WAS WORKING OUT ITS BEEN 47 MINUTES OF MY TIME!
My muscle fibres have lost their twitch activation and now I'm going to have to stretch to warm up again.
>>36565151
He got banned?
>>36562602
I grunt at home alone, how is that for attention?
>>36561955
dying to see where this is going
also capthcawas pick all pies and apparently pizza pies are pies
>>36563465
Yeah, that was bullshit. I KIND OF understand the whole idea that idiots subsidize the rest of the people that go to the gym, but a "small" gym in NYC shouldn't cost 500/month. And they're going to be assholes about whether or not you go there every day ("Does Putin take a day off? He's pretty busy. You're not busier than Putin"). What a fucking ripoff.
>>36566190
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGCB6Mii0bc
>>36566124
It's-a-pizza-pie! 4chan captchas can be dumb as shit sometimes.
>>36564510
I feel like scam is wrong word
they attract people who wont make it anyways
but they could make it
Im sure somwhere there is a word for this
>>36564680
some people live in places where if you run outside your setting yourself up to get fucked by tyrone
>>36561152
>>36561501
>be a europoor
>never heard of this gym before
This is fucking hilarious guys. Pizza nights? Lunk alarms?
I can't even be mad at a business model that aims to part dumb fat people from their money.
>>36566291
check out the commercials where they show "normal gyms" its AMHAZING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4JFU6_ZYS8
they even have a distopian gym choose your own adventure video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1TgyF7fb8g
>>36561275
Alarm that goes off if you're lifting too heavy or making noise or whatever
>two years ago, just started lifting
>totally scrawny, DYEL mode
>we're talking no chest and 13 inch biceps
>doing bench press with 50lb. dumbbells
>absolutely brutal for me at the time, I'm grimacing and grunting
>finished two of my sets when some PF employee approaches me
>"Could you dial the macho man stuff down? You're intimidating some of the other members."
>"Okayyy.."
>look at my surroundings, at the others, and wonder who could possibly be intimidated by my scrawny self
I whipped myself into shape in 3 months and left for another gym.
>>36566347
>we're not a gym
Well at least they're honest about it. Also Dimitri is a pretty cool guy eh can bend steel and doesn't afraid of propaganda marketing aimed to pat you on the back for your retarded insecurities.
Real question though, why do women find it so hard to be motivated, rather then scared off, when faced with other physically fit women.
Like the fit women in that first video were just THERE. they weren't laughing at the protag or showing off. They were just physically attractive and in the same place and suddenly protag is super intimidated. wtf?
>>36566609
I honstly dont know
PF muted me on their videos for saying id love to work out at the dystopian gym btw
>>36563068
top kek
>>36563068
ACE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzNLaT5_wv0
atleast that "gym" is more serious about working out thatn any ymca ive ever been to.
I wish I could believe this meme but I went to one which was actually decent. I never saw any landwhales, sure like other people were saying its mostly cardio machines but the weights weren't barren either..never heard the lunk alarm once. Granted there weren't too many people there at any given time tho.This was in Garner, NC.
>>36561561
hahahaha is this for real?
fucking amerifats
>>36565047
That's because the men who play tennis are faggots
>>36566233
Tempting someone into the abyss?
Entrapment?
>>36566978
>Tempting someone into the abyss
I like it
>>36566700
I'm starting to think PF is just fucking with all of us
dubs decides what slogan I put on a tshirt to wear during pizza night at PF
>>36566700
those are the hands of a fatty
>>36566700
What in the ever living fuck did I just watch...
Anyway, I joined lifetime fitness a few weeks ago and have already seen improvements in my life. Gonna hit their new squat racks tonight I think. Never skip leg day.
>>36566700
>>36567091
Those whale hands
>>36567078
CHOOSE DEATH
>>36567078
Pizza is for the weak-willed
>>36561152
my 59 year old slightly over weight mom just signed up for PF. Never been to one but think it's prob the perfect gym for someone like mummy.
>>36567078
I mated with pizza
ask me how
>>36567078
PEE A SLICE OF PEEZA
>>36567078
Ill eat you out like a all you can eat pizza buffet
>>36566443
omg its true... I just watched some of their commercials. This makes me sad for humanity
>>36567078
Planet Fatness with pizza slices as the T's
>>36567078
"COMMIT TO THE BULK"
go in, lift hard, and eat a whole pizza
>>36566950
They're still more manly than some faggot crying for attention while curling.
What's the matter? Daddy wouldn't hold you?
>>36567078
>I left my hot body at home
>>36567078
>gut buster
And then a picture of a pizza slice bursting put of your stomach like a xenomorph from the alien movies.
>>36567078
"I'm into fitness
Fitness whole pizza in my mouth"
Stolen straight from the cringefest that is imgur/reddit.
>>36567400
you win m80. I'll start work on the tshirt
The one near me was filled with nothing but old people and shit eating teanagers who only did curls. I regret ever going there with the mindset of "its cheap but its probably just as good as any other gym"
>>36562654
Too fake to be funny :(
>>36561506
>crabwalking
I got to a gym that specialises in powerlifting, and the last time I was there two women were crabwalking up and down the astroturf sled track.
What it in aid of?
>>36567422
Can't wait mate. Get lots of pictures.
>>36566233
removing unproductive idiots from gyms where people actually exercise?
>>36562654
Ok anon, you had us for awhile but even muscle heads are stupid enough to believe that shit.
Your buddy must have been fired.
People don't just let that go.
>>36566244
>your setting yourself up to get fucked by tyrone
I laughed way harder with this than I care to admit.
>>36562228
People in wheelchairs or crutches often use the gym for an upper-body workout, or an upper-body free-weights, lower-body machine routine, depending on whether their legs are inoperative, or just damaged. They still shouldn't stand unsupported on a slick surface for longer than three minutes though.
>>36563455
You use the water, dirty the showers, walk on the carpet, occasionally drop weights on a 5xF day. They have to hire more than a single employee for each shift, an actual janitor to pick up after people, etc.
>>36564680
Can't run on ice. Can't stop for winter. Thus, treadmill.
>>36562654
I don't believe this for a second but I enjoyed it anyway
>>36569120
This. He fucked over his friend and i would even rat him out if someone set me up like that.
>>36566700
Are those hands supposed to represent me or the announcer?
It's not that bad. Actually I live near Baltimore and the place is always clean as hell. The neighborhood outside sucks. Obviously.
Aren't if you're on fit you should know that it's better to use dumbbells anyway. That area is always free because nobody knows how to use them. The machines(for fags) are always busy. Step your game up. Dumbbells you wanna be fit pussies.
>>36566233
Saying Planet Fitness takes advantage of fat people is like saying Ashley Madison takes advantage of people in failed marriages: even if we accept it as true, their customers are the ones choosing to go there. PF are pretty transparent about the fact that they're aimed at people who care more about feeling good than doing good. I'm really sick of the mentality where the moment a company reaches a certain size their customers are immediately absolved of any responsibility for anything they do. Offering free pizza isn't just some sneaky ploy, it's what these people want. They wouldn't waste money on it if people weren't eating it, and if they weren't offering it they'd go to the pizza place down the street. If you legitimately have a problem with compulsive eating, you'd need to learn to deal with temptation anyway. Barring that, I refuse to believe there are adults in the US who haven't, at some point in their entire lives, been told pizza isn't healthy. Even if they somehow didn't, we live in the internet age. Ignorance is no excuse when it comes to basic shit like this. If you truly cared, you'd do research. The only reasonable explanation for thinking 5 slices of pizza a reasonable "reward" for 20 minutes of light cardio is self delusion, which is no one's fault but the deluded.
If you want to get outraged over something fitness related, go after Chipotle or Whole Foods, companies that outright lie in their advertising
>>36567422
Awaiting the results
>>36570435
Can you elaborate on why you mentioned Chipotle?
>>36570435
It's not that they cater to fatties, it's that they HATE fit people
>>36567400
Ooooooooooohhhhh checked em
>>36570616
They try harder than Subway ever did to pretend to be "healthy fast food" despite often being more calorically dense than McD's. That and promoting a worldview that enshrines scientific illiteracy and ignorance as some kind of virtue ("M-muh chemicals"), which is also my problem with Whole Foods.
>>36570645
They don't hate fit people, they just don't want them there because it reminds their customers they aren't actually doing shit. Again, it's all about catering to people with certain delusions
>>36570704
Oh ok I see what you're saying, they definitely do pander to that view point ad nauseam
>>36570704
The handles of their weights are like sandpaper
They hate /fit/ people, anon
I work out at Planet Fitness. It's not as bad as people make it out to be, but the things that are weird do add up to make the whole experience kind of ridiculous.
The purple and yellow is nauseating. The pizza/bagels/tootsie roll thing exists, but unless you're uncontrollably addicted to food then it's easy to ignore. Who really wants to eat pizza after a workout? I do have a tootsie roll after a workout sometimes, actually. It's like fifteen calories.
The dumbbells stop at like seventy pounds, but I can't do much with that amount of weight yet anyway so it hasn't affected me. Lack of barbells is annoying, but smith machines work in a pinch, despite all the meme-ing against them. They're fine for squats and deadlifts; chest less so but w/e.
Most annoying things are actually the general state of disrepair and shoddiness of the gym and locker rooms, slightly outmoded/suboptimal machines, small stretching area, and generally low population of attractive women (though they do exist, mostly spanish chicks with nice asses).
The thing I hate most is that sometimes the local retard pen (or wherever they keep the retards, I honestly have no idea) brings a bunch of retards to the gym to exercise and they act all retarded on the treadmills which means I have to skip tread that day. Like I mean actual retarded people. They're really noisy and disgusting. Watching them flail and spew and guffaw while they try to keep up with the treadmill on their retard legs is highly disturbing.
I go to planet fitness none of this shit happens and people drop weights often there on chest and arms days. There also a lot of swole people there. I go to one in NYC, leaving around June to go to a gym with a actual bench and heavier weights
>>36570704
This guy gets it more than 90% of the people in this thread.
Planet Fatness isn't outright trying to make people obese, or discourage people from getting fit. They're catering to a specific market that exists in the USA right now; people who want to get fit, but are unwilling to make concrete lifestyle changes. It's a fairly large market these days, since 1) most people are not fit, but want to be fit 2) most people have terrible eating habits 3) most people want instant gratification 4) the fear that if someone is better than you, you should give up.
When you combine those 4 key elements of the typical north American (Canadian included) psyche, you get a prime market where you can put a small amount of overhead down, and make a lot of money by locking people into bad contracts. They're not trying to make these people fat, that's just a side effect of milking them of money.
>>36570961
Where's your tinfoil hat sir
>>36570864
>The thing I hate most is that sometimes the local retard pen (or wherever they keep the retards, I honestly have no idea) brings a bunch of retards to the gym to exercise and they act all retarded on the treadmills which means I have to skip tread that day. Like I mean actual retarded people. They're really noisy and disgusting. Watching them flail and spew and guffaw while they try to keep up with the treadmill on their retard legs is highly disturbing.
Don't be so mean to them, the fact that they're retarded and still manage to do something that the majority of the population refuse to do is pretty amazing.
>>36562654
Dude what the fuck is with you and shitting in starbucks? First there was that story when you pretended to be a girl talking about how you hung out with a group of fatties and eventually slipped your shit in their starbucks and now this load of bullshit.
Putting shit in people's drinks isn't that funny stop making up stories about it. If it were to happen IRL people would lose their jobs and a law suit would certainly happen
>>36570981
>basic economics is a conspiracy theory
>>36570864
>Most annoying things are actually the general state of disrepair and shoddiness of the gym and locker rooms, slightly outmoded/suboptimal machines, small stretching area, and generally low population of attractive women (though they do exist, mostly spanish chicks with nice asses).
This really reinforces what I believe the core business model is. They can let those machines fall into disrepair because 99% of people who go to PF aren't going to give a fuck if some machine doesn't work. This lets them further cut back on basic maintenance costs compared to gyms where all of the equipment gets used regularly.
I would be curious to see what the annual budget is for maintenance for PF, then compare it to a more "serious" gym.
>>36564151
>SCAM COMPANY
tbf, planet fitness isn't ripping anyone off. It's giving fatties exactly what they want. Working out is too hard? Don't work out. People shame you for being fat? Tell them you go to a gym. Planet fitness is right in the middle of that venn diagram
>>36570988
Don't act like the oxygen thiefs have a choice. They are required by law to get some exercise (if they are part of an organisation/day care type thing), shoving them in a large building and setting them loose is the easiest way to do that.
When they came to my gym (they stopped) they always had legit leg strength.
Watching their Velcro KD26's as the only point of contact between them and a fully loaded leg press as they go to depth always made me mire.
In my senior year of highschool, my friends and I signed up for this gym because it was cheap and had a good location.
There was maybe 20 people I've seen the entire time I was there (4 months) consistently working out with anything that wasn't cardio. The bench and squat racks were all guided so I couldn't really bench lol. I maxed out at 205 after 4 months, went to my college gym after not lifting over the summer and couldn't even bench a plate, and I wasn't even going to chest.
It's good if you're a cheap cunt and you're intimidated by bigger people. It was good for me because I was cheap and I got my noob gains and learned form.
>>36571076
>Guided bench
Don't act like you lift.
>>36571098
What, because I called it a guided bench instead of the smith machine, or whatever? I don't know a lot of the technical terms. Suck my dick
>>36571219
No, because smith machines are fucking terrible.
>>36561152
its literally Planet Meme. i refuse to set foot in there no matter how cheap their memberships are.
>>36571219
>Thinks Smith machine is a technical term
You sure sound mad.
Planet Fitness is good enough for John Travolta
>>36571247
And he acknowledged that they are terrible. READ
>>36571411
Holy shit, someone on this board shows basic reading comprehension. Thank you
>>36566124
>pizza pies are pies
And cheeseburgers are sandwiches.
>>36561561
What the fuck.
>>36561532
That whole thing made me mad.
>>36571328
yea so was swordfish.
Terrible argument anon.
I go to planet fitness. I find it superior to my local 24. No tryhards or bros screaming like they are being dominated anally.
Nobody standing next to me while I lift, staring, trying to out lift me in some kind of one man pissing contest.
I go in at like midnight, there's a few other dudes like me, we all lift, help each other, chat, and have a good time. Completely different atmosphere. Since I've been attending PF I actually have made significant gains and can finally say I'm in the 405 club.
That said, they do have a pizza day, and tootsie rolls. Which I find funny. Why be all elitist about it though? People are trying to get fit, so what if we have an advantage, at least they're doing something.
>>36563608
bro im from redondo, the only place i can afford is planet fitness, i want to kill myself because of how bad it is. iv been to 24 hour fitness and holy fuck its like 1000 times better, i can only imagine what that gym in Manhattan was like.
>>36561501
Do tell
>>36570961
This.
>>36570981
This is a retard.
>>36566347
oh god this commercial
>>36561294
fag
>>36561320
That's some Elliott Hulse bullshit.
>>36561352
I can't believe I'm actually saying this in an unironic manner, but do you even lift?
>Fuck it, go the whole hog
Bro?
>>36561359
Pleb-tier
>>36561561
>judgement free zone
HOLY FUCKING SHIT AND I THOUGHT THE WOMEN AT MY CLASS WERE INSECURE WHAT THE FUCK NIGGER
>>36562396
This Nig. It ain't macho, but it's sure-fire success.
>>36570864
N J
J
>>36571462
Very welcome senpai
>>36571469
Pizza pies aren't pies but cheeseburgers actually are a type of sandwich
Are you gonna tell me subs/hoagies/whatever you fucks call Subway's food aren't sandwiches?
>>36561152
signed up a while back since I wanted to start working out and it had a great location but honestly it's fitness trainers are never around and they always run out of fucking paper towels, [spoiler]like the 3 people up at the front desk are doing fucking nothing all day[/spoiler]
also I never have time to work out anyways so I might as well cancel
>>36562747
Why the hell were you in Dothan to start? It's the worst of the worst in this state.
>>36572374
Subs are sandwiches, but nobody but Americans calls a cheeseburger a sandwich.
>>36561352
>be a fag
>call others fag
FUCK YOURSELF LITTLE SHIT
When I push myself hard for last 2 reps on heavy lifts. I really really shout out from instinct. Fucking DYEL you'll never know this better I know off to your faghot club like planet fitness. Fuck you
>>36572472
It is literally made in the exact same way a sandwich is but with different bread.
>>36561501
Wait, wait. They ACTUALLY have a pizza night? I thought that was just some meme. Holy fuck.
It's stuff like this that really scares me into working out more so I can never end up like those people.
>>36572472
what americans call cheeseburgers sandwiches?
>>36566700
I can only imagine how this commercial was made.
>"Alright, so all you do as the announcer is watch this silent video of someone opening yellow and purple eggs."
>"We couldn't get someone to write a script for you, so just improvise. Here's a list of everything that's in the eggs. It's in order, so just make sure you announce what the item is and describe it."
>"Try to sound happy, despite having probably the worst job you'll ever have as an aspiring voiceover actor."
>>36571855
Avenue C fag here, PF is the only affordable gym.
>>36567019
Is that like Indian Dwayne Johnson?
>>36572965
>"Try to sound happy, despite having probably the worst job you'll ever have as an aspiring voiceover actor."
I'm not so sure about that, it was a pretty awful performance even given what we was working with. Then again, maybe they told him to do a shitty job so no one felt threatened by his talent
>>36573495
I'd say he's more a Thai Steve Carrell
