>texting grill
>she wants me to come over and fugg
>she thinks I'm a massive player and says "I bet you would be a great fuck"
>tfw virgin
Help me /fit/
>>36515843
Bump
I know that feel
ahahahaha I can relate.
only to the last line though
KNOCK HER THE FUCK OUT
>sugg mah dig X-DDDDD
>>36515843
Jerk off a few times then go fuck her also ask her if she likes fitness then say well your gonna love this fitness dick. Also if you can do the prone pullup thing your good
>>36515871
underrated post
Get her to suck your dikk and then fuck her sideways. Oh, and condoms are for faggots.
>>36515843
How did you meet her? Tinder? Ever saw each other before?
>>36515904
At a club/bar
>>36515910
Tell me how to talk to girls at a bar. Aren't they always in groups? I don't feel like approaching a group yet.
You're probably screwed bro. My first time was hella awkward and I couldn't make her cum. It takes a little while to find your rhythm and get positioning figured out just right.
Make sure you foreplay her fucking tits off. Get her do worked up that she'll cum from anything. And try to get music on or something. Set the mood. Don't lose your v card in a well lit room to the sound of bed springs squeaking and a young lady being underwhelmed. Because that's what I did.
>>36515843
push downwards and thrust upwards to the left
>>36515915
She was with her friend and they had similar outfits on. Made a comment about them coordinating outfits, they laughed a bit and we talked for another 5 mins. Then went back another 20 mins cause I saw her dancing on the df. She was instantly grinding up on me then we made out. Went from there. I can't talk to girls for shit.
>>36515915
Shoo shoo pussy goblin
>>36515843
Fuck her anyway even if you disappoint her. Be selfish here.
Tell her you're a virgin.
Either she thinks it's cute and gives you the ride of your life or she ditches you and saves you the embarrassment of giving her a terrible fuck.
Win win, m8.
>>36515918
To add to this, pray you don't get anxiety. I was feeling fine but as soon as I came to fug my first time, I had major performance anxiety and went soft within a second and couldn't get it back up.
>>36515935
>dancing
Ugh. I can't do that either, I dint have confidence for that.
I don't even know how to kiss.
>>36515942
It's a win lose for him. Only win win for the girl.
Just have sex with her.
I told my current gf that I hadn't had sex in 3 years. She said that she didn't mind (and was in fact glad that I didn't have many sex partners).
>>36515966
How old are you?
>>36515948
same here, if any bro could give me simple actual advice that would be cool.
I mean, I made out with different girls 2-3 times but I was really drunk each time and I felt like it sucked especially for them dunno really
>>36515982
Left right left right up down up down select start
>>36515982
Take two or three shots of liquor for a confident buzz. Hopefully you do you cardio so that won't cause you whiskey dick.
>>36515971
mid-to-late 20s
>>36515843
don't do it dude! she's trying to take away your one true path to being a wizard! don't let her steal this from you!
I can relate, most girls think I'm this dude who goes around fucking anyone I want. Reality is I'm a virgin whose only hobbies include fitness and jacking off.
Not OP but exact same situation. Need tips pls
>>36515982
It wasn't really dancing. She started grinding up on my crotch. I pulled her to the dance floor and I sort of bobbed a bit to the music with my hands on her sides. Then I turned her around and started making out. She appreciated that I was physical with her.
As for dancing, have some drinks and realise no one is looking at you. Just copy what everyone else is doing and you can't go wrong.
Also I will probs just tell her I am a virgin.
>>36515948
>>36515982
Kiss the bottom lip (where your buttom lip is below hers while the top lip of yours is pressing half her entire top lip. And bite gently as fuck and pull lightly on the bottom lip.
Instant turn on for girls.
>I get told im a great kisser with every new girl.
Feels great to hear this shit everytime.
Its all in her head. If she thinks youll be a great fuck, then she will enjoy it. Remember:
>men have knobs
>women have fannies
>pop knob in fanny
>>36516043
Tel her you've never been with a woman, that way you sound a bit more experienced but you're not lying
>>36516048
That's all? Just your upper above her lower and your lower under her lower? I don't get it. Do you just stop in that position?
>>36516063
No da fuck, thats just a tip to being a good kisser, look up videos if you really are a handless virgin kisser. Itll do you more good than harm. Litteraly the only way to really practice is with the real thing so mentally prepare yourself for embarrassing sloppy kisses if you suck on it.
>Try not to salivate too much
>>36516053
Tell her you only been with guys and never experienced how real pussy is. Shell take over and ride you till u cum buckets inside.
>>36515936
Kek
>>36515843
Alright OP, a simple pointers, you can practice with your hand or something.
>1. TEASE TEASE TEASE
This is literally the golden number 1 of sex, especially if you're a virgin. Have discipline. Don't get greedy and ram your hand in her panties, or try to get your dick inside her hand/mouth/pussy. You're just "having a good time" and you're putting ideas in her head. Slowly slide your hand inside her panties and cup it over her pussy, pretend to kiss her then when you're an inch away from her mouth, grab her hair, pull her head back and kiss her neck, when you're kissing her tits, grab one nipple between your teeth and slooooowly, slooooowly, as SLOWLY as possible, pull it back, bit by bit, with a grin. Kiss her abs, kiss her sides, kiss her legs, kiss her thighs, kiss around her pussy, breathe on her clit, but don't go down on her, instead, lean over her and kiss her instead. Do things like that.
Make her WANT the things you want by dangling them in front of her. If you aren't in control and you're fucking going nuts with lust inside, PRETEND you're in control. Being a good fuck isn't "knowing a lot of moves" or having a natural talent, it's literally making a woman want something so fucking badly that when you give it to her, she'll think it's the best she's ever felt. You can create that need... but... now we come to point 2. in the next post.
>>36515843
>>36516097
2. WOMEN ARE LIKE CATS
Yeah, you read that right. Ever pet a cat or a dog, and noticed that when they like something, they'll brush their heads/body against your hand? They'll show you exactly the spot they like and just go nuts, sometimes you don't even have to move your hand anymore and they'll just do it themselves.
Women are EXACTLY like that. Watch how her body responds to your touch (and obviously, most importantly when that touch is around/in her pussy, tits, ass and neck). She will show you what she wants (so you can withhold it from her and tease her) and what she likes (so you can keep doing it at that speed/angle). When a woman says "just like that", don't speed up, don't go harder, keep doing EXACTLY what you're doing.
Women are really easy to read in bed if you don't get greedy and try to get off yourself. When you give them what they want the most, you'll feel like a sex god. That's only the beginning: they will give it back to you
>>36515843
>>36516107
>3. HOLD HER BACK
Be in control. When she tries to take your cock out, let her undo your pants, but pull back your hips. When you take off her shirt, don't take it off all the way, but when it's around her arms, wrap it around and restrain her, kiss her romantically, passionately.
Being in control in sex doesn't mean using her to get off and do whatever you want, being in control means you dictate what happens, because you're kind of like a fucking conductor of sex. You decide when she gets to touch your cock or not, and this is a bit different than teasing. You just don't let her instantly gets what she wants, she will have to use her femininity to get what she wants.
For a woman, nothing is hotter than SEDUCING a man. And whether you HAVE that control or not, it doesn't matter. She will feel 100000x better about conquering the right to touch your cock than if you greedily shove it in her hands.
It's the same with cum. If you cum in 5 minutes flat a woman is like "that's it?", but if you fuck for an hour, it won't matter how, it won't matter where, it won't matter how much, your orgasm will please the girl more than it will please you because she'll feel accomplished in her sexuality, in getting that cum out of you finally after all that time.
>>36515843
Use a condom. Take stims.
Endurance up, time to cum up x infinity. After 20 minutes of full hard on pounding tell her to suck your dick for a bit.
Then, condom off and slam it till you come.
Doggie while touching clit/nips works.
So does missionary sorta gliding over her to touch the clit.
Or just so hard and deep you'll hit her cervix. Which can be enjoyable but it's... Individual.
When fingering try hitting the g-spot with 2 fingers by making a come here motion with them while inside.
You'd be pressing upward to her skin. Outside, not inside.
>>36515843
>>36516112
>4. TECHNIQUE
This one is short, because it just requires experience, but I can tell you this. There are two types of fucking you should focus on: hips and body.
Either you hold your body still, or close to hers, and smoothly move your hips. You're not thrusting, but sliding in and out of her. It's like one, long, stretched out feeling, it's very intimate and sensual and even if you don't have much experience fucking, it'll feel good to a woman. But don't drag it out. Now, I'll tie this one in with nr.1 because you can use this so well to tease. When you're about to fuck her, don't stick it in, rub your cock up and down her pussy first, get her wetter and wetter, pretend you're going in but pull back in the last second.
When you DO go in, just go in with the tip, veeeery very gently and slowly. Pull out slowly, then go in about 1cm deeper, pull out slowly, 1cm deeper, etc. It's like one, big, flowing movement. You don't start and stop, you just hold your body still and let your hips flow your cock back and forth. You can speed this up, slow it down, etc. Now, once you've got this going, what will feel GREAT to a woman is a different fucking technique: body thrusts.
Imagine you're sensually sliding in and out, she's running her hands over your body, you're kissing her, she's softly moaning and enjoying your cock inside her, her pussy is extremely wet, you can slide easily in and out. Then, out of nowhere, you SLAM your cock inside her. You hold it in, you look at her, you grin, you pull out very slowly, and then BAM. You ram it in again.
>>36515843
>>36516119
Again, you pull out slowly, then RAM. Each time you do it a little bit faster, you build it up, until you're throwing most of your body against her, slamming your cock inside. You don't try to hurt her, you keep paying attention to what she's doing, how she responds (for instance she can fuck you back with her own hips, make sure you pay attention to that and time your thrusts when she pushes her hips against you). You change it up again with some slow fucking, another position, etc.
For now, focus on these two (along with some fingering, pussy licking, kissing, getting your cock sucked, etc.) and different positions. When you get more experience, you'll get a better feel for different fucking methods.
Good luck OP
>>36516119
Do u really think anyone is reading all this shit?
Just jam it in and jizz in her, then she will keep u around incase u knocked her up
>>36516097
>>36516107
>>36516112
reading this turned me on family
>>36516075
Those videos are shit man, please help a bro out. I just want to get my dick wet
>>36516112
>conductor of sex
>mfw
>>36516051
Ima putin my knob in her fanny
>>36515942
Fuck this, avoid
>>36516155
>>36515915
I have the inside scoop on this..
Tl;dr you absolutely can pull one away from the group to bingo bango HOWEVER the point of the group is so they can make sure you're "not a creep" and that their friend is making a "good" decision.
Anywho that's what I've been told. In reality it's probably a mutual slut shaming tactic. They all want dick but want to avoid being slut shamed more. Women..
A guy told me to wear an open black shirt and a white t-shirt. I don't have a white one that's washed for tomorrow. Is a red one with white text on it fine or should I just button up my shirt?
>>36516226
I'll have an inside scoop of your mum's pussy
>>36516125
>>36516119
>>36516112
>>36516097
Thanks so much bro. Really appreciate you typing that out.
>>36516081
This
>>36516143
Another tip is neck/shoulder kissing. Bitches love that shit. When they say they got goosebumps, it means your doing it right. Ever left a hicky on a girl before?
>>36516284
What does the text say? Don't wear some autistic shit if you're trying to be a suave bastard. On my first date with my current gf, I wore some clean and crisp dark jeans with light fading in the front (dat contrast) with a black button up shirt that had the top two buttons open exposing just a bit of the OD green T-shirt I was wearing under it. And to top it off, I went out and spent $75 on a pair of nice leather shoes. Soft bottom black timberland business casual, comfortable as your mother's titties and they can be made even better with a can of shoe polish and 15 minutes of your time. Andy Duphrane didn't know shit, people look at your shoes all the time and you will be judged on them consciously or not. Also, don't be afraid to show case your gains subtlety. If you have a nice chest, find a way to make it stand out a bit, nice ass, wear some straight leg jeans that cup that fucker.
>>36516591
Also, if you're a hairy man ape, try to clean that shit up. No one wants to see your Taco meat puffing up from your collar
>>36516591
>>36516518
Just met this girl. She said she's really sensitive on her neck- means she will love it right?
Also another tip is pulling back first and faking a kiss. She'll feel deprived and will initiate the following kiss
>>36516712
Gentle light kisses with 1 second depressions into the skin is what you gona need to do, think of it like kissing a dead body farewell, you keep your lips on the skin for a second gently pressing on it with a light suction as you pull away slow (enough to make a soft kiss sound).
>>36515843
You would be a surpise, Women like that.
>>36515871
hahahah
>>36515871
>>36516143
Practice with your mum, if not then your dog/cat.
>>36516654
>wearing a jersey to a date
Lmao
>>36516968
>bar that you go with a bro to hit on girls
>date
What.
>>36516097
>>36516107
>>36516112
suprisingly decent sex tips coming from 4chan and /fit/ in particular. someone should cap this for future "im a virgin, wat do?" threads
>>36516986
You know, most virgins have problems getting a girl to the point where they want to fuck. Hell, most fail to talk to a girl.
>Guys, I need to reload my gun, how do I do this?
>Just pull the trigger to shoot!
>>36516996
people dont make posts on /fit/ asking how to talk to girls. thats an /adv/ question (unless theyre asking in a feels thread). people come to fit when theyre in a situation like op where they know theyre close and need advice on how to actually fuck something without seeming like a virgin. this is like a weekly thread.
>>36516591
You wore a t-shirt underneith a black shirt(let alone a colored one)? if anything is autistic it is this.
>>36515843
fuck her you idiot. Who gives a fuck what she thinks afterwords, you got it in. My first time I could cum, dick got soft, and I didn't even fucking care because losing your virginity is such a huge relief. SHE EVEN APOLOGIZED for not being able to make me finish.
>>36517116
couldn't cum*
>>36515843
Just say you haven't had sex in a long time or something it worked for me
>>36516968
>I wore a basketball jersey on a fuck day.
>She ended up the one wearing it at the end of the day.
You can keep your pleb-tier collar shirts Anon.
>>36517103
Fuck you, it was cold and I still had a bit of a gut at the time. The shirt was tucked in to help contain my jiggles
>>36517103
What else am I supposed to wear? Just a shirt?
>>36515871
>>36516712
>think of it like kissing a dead body farewell
Shit man what're you doing
>>36515871
unexpected lel
>>36515918
Literally just finger her while kissing/feeling her up a bit, it's worked every time so far for me. Also you'll have to get a feel for when youre going too fast/slow or doing something way retarded, but I have faith in you anons :)
>>36516031
So 29?
>>36516097
>>36516107
>>36516112
>>36516119
breddy guud. Thanks for the writing
>>36516048
>>36516048
Show is your tricks. Actually I kinda care more for being a good kisser than a good lover somehow
>>36515871
Kekd
>>36515871
dw, we're all gonna make it
>>36516107
Women are like cats. And all the following was amazing. Yes yes yes.
-a girl
>>36515843
You are a great fuck, op
Believe.jpg
>>36516284
No. Your clothes should not advertise for anything or be graphic in any way. Don't wear a button up either, you're trying too hard. Just wear a nice, fitted tshirt. V neck if possible, Zara, h&m, sometimes the men's forever21 section. Honestly, my husband looks the sexiest when he's just wearing jeans and a muscle t. Buttons are too hard to undo in the heat of the moment anyways and you already said you're a virgin so the less struggle the better. But those long paragraphs of advice, do all that. If you do anything else these posts say then you're sinking your own ship.
>>36515843
help with what? you won, it's over
>>36516654
Def avoid
>>36518154
Not same guy, but a good tip when kissing is to eventually slide your hand up the back of her neck and grab her hair/cup back of head.
Makes kiss escalate in hotness
J COLE has a song for you
>>36515843
Just fuck her like you want to. If you nut instantly be completely unapologetic. Shit happens. But don't you dare apologize or be insecure about it. Play it off as no big deal and it won't be one
well you're not going to make her cum.
but literally just trying can make her be impressed.
just finger her for a while whilst making out with her. its not very hard at all. girls pussies are insanely sensitive so if you just finger fuck her for a while she'll be satisfied with the foreplay
than just have her get on top and ride you, you literally dont have to move or it will mess up their rhythm
>>36515948
>dancing
Always had anxiety, afraid everyone was looking judging, here is what helped me
>shots
I worry less with a buzz
>remember that no one is paying much attention
They are either worried about themselves or paying attention to the music
>Bob your knees and do reloads from video games, esp sci fi ones
This helped me a lot because I was so busy thinking about stupid ones to do ald loling at myself that it looks like I'm having genuine fun dancing when I'm really just meeming and enjoying getting away with it
Fav reloads include overheating plasma weps from halo, rocket launchers, and the gleuon gun from half-life
just go do it. get some experience under ya belt.
>>36515878
>then say well your gonna love this fitness dick.
wot
>>36516097
>>36516107
>>36516112
>>36516119
>>36516125
Excellent job at keeping it real and not just talking about abstract stuff like 'relax and just b urself xd'
Thanks
This thread. Having huge problems not laughing out loud, holy fuck guys. I love yall
>>36515948
Look up dance tutorials on YouTube and dance, record youself, dance infront of a mirror. Dancing in clubs isn't hard at all, you don't need fancy moves, you just need good rythm. However you'll never get good at it if you don't practice. If you aren't often going out you'll have to practice at home.
Looking at live music clips to see how the singer's gestures and repeat it when you hear the song in the club
>>36518725
>>36515948
>implying anyone besides black people and brasilian/french people can dance anyway
You dance because you wanna dance not because it's "the right thing to do"
>go out with girl from work
>we pass by a group of girls that the girl knows
>they chat a few words and the girl moves on; I'm still standing there
>one of the girl asks if she's seen me before but I didn't think that the question was directed at me but it was about me
>just look at them and say no
>move on
Did they wanted to fuck? I'm pretty much a shut-in, so it's impossible for them to have seen me before.
>>36516784
>think of it like kissing a dead body farewell
...anon...
>>36515999
spit my milk
>>36516143
Bonus tip: while kissing her neck/ clavicle go up higher and nibble on her ear lobe/ hotly breathe into her ear.
That is one of my best go to moves for breaking the dams that hold back the pussy flood
>>36519363
you never know if you never try.
But if I were you I'd quit that " I GOTTA HAVE SEX" mentality. Jerk off if you must but actually enjoying a girls company by just playfully going along with the flow is much more rewarding.
>>36519724
>Bonus tip: while kissing her neck/ clavicle go up higher and nibble on her ear lobe/ hotly breathe into her ear.
This. I did this with a new girl and said something really stupid like
>doesn't it make everything sound hot when I talk like this
She moaned but still
>fuck this post-modern meta talk
>>36515932
>push downwards and thrust upwards to the left
>>36516048
This but dont bite gently, girls like it when you make them bleed that's why they eject their ovaries once a month.
>>36515843
You're not complaining. You're bragging.
>>36516097
>>36516107
>>36516112
>>36516119
>>36516125
Capped the advice if anyone was interested
>In college
>Virgin
>Everybody thinks I have a huge dick even though nobody has seen it and I haven't said anything like that
>I don't deny it
>mfw only 7 inches
>>36516518
I love this too, when a girl is a good kisser and licks my neck up and down that makes me feel so relaxed and cozy that I want to just lay down and sleep.
Kissed a lot, made out quite some times too but still virgin because I want to lose my v-card to a girl I feel is worth it aswell. Should I just fuck any bitch that's into me if she is decent looking so I get better at it and more relaxed when I find a good woman
>>36516226
http://www.girlschase.com/content/5-essential-insights-how-meet-girls-groups
>>36516125
>>36516119
>>36516112
>>36516107
>>36516097
Great shit but this really doesn't work when you're inexperienced, I mean some of it you can pull off, but a girl will know anyway that you're either virgin or not the guy you're trying to be, just do some of it, and add more each time
>>36515878
>well your gonna love this fitness dick
lmao
>>36515878
>>36522225
He fucked it up. The line is "You're gonna love fitness dick in you/your mouth".
>>36515871
A good hardy internal laugh on that one anon, thank you.
>>36516654
you can either say you're a gladiator fan or an MF DOOM fan
>>36515843
read up on eating pussy.
give her a back massage for a while for foreplay. you pretty much can't fuck that up. after you have her hips grinding forward, you can start touching her clit. if she's into it, get down there and eat it. eating pussy is literally the easiest thing to do, and it's literally the best way to be a good lay
>>36523554
>eating pussy is literally the easiest thing to do
You'd be surprised how many dudes suck at it.
>>36515871
>>36521976
You are quite a bit larger than average.
>>36518154
I got a life too Anon, i cant be your coach.
>unless you videochat me while u fuck her
Kek.
>>36515843
>text back: "actually i'm a virgin so you're gonna have to show me the ropes"
>fuck
>no longer a virgin
>never have this problem again
>>36521925
awesome
>Have a pretty face/great long hair but 15-20%BF 6'2 170lbs 23 y/o
>Get told i have very pretty eyes and beautiful hair almost daily by women at work
>Sometimes girls just look at me without saying anything or greet me with a really warm smile and upbeat "hey!"
>"Take your sweetheart out anon!" for valentines day a few weeks back while leaving work
>Girls start touching my back and arms to get my attention more instead of calling my name since i started lifting (7 months in)
>Never even held hands with a grill, total kissless virgin
Don't even fucking care (i do care), all i want to do i make money at my shitty dead end job and work out every other day. I've also put over 500 hours into black desert online since it's release 2 weeks ago.
>>36524577
How did you manage to put 500 hours into a 336 hour time frame?
>>36524604
early access 3 weeks my bad. Got in a week over the plebs
>>36515843
Pop 10mg Cialis. God mode vag destroying g bones. Highly recommended.
>>36516112
>>36516107
>>36516097
Literally gayest hing I have ever read
>>36523565
Lick the alphabet - RiP Sam Kinison.
>>36516137
Gimme a hug man
>>36515843
How do I not give off the player-vibe? I'm just some hyper-anxious forever alone sperg who likes to take care of hself and can't shut up but I've been told I look like a player by different girls on multiple occasions and I think they mean it as a compliment but it never fails to make me uncomfortable. Idk I think the idea that someone else has this whole persona about who I am and what I'm like when they couldn't possibly know those things is unsettling.
Even just thinking about having to interact with and care for a whole other person with their own individual thoughts and feelings and history on any kind of consistent basis sounds absolutely exhausting and overwhelming, especially since I can barely deal with the shit going on with me for more than 5min without distracting myself with the next useless masturbatory experience.
Damn my shit is all over the place I wish I could unfuck it somehow or maybe just slip into a coma that'd be okay I guess
>>36526433
>How do I not give off the player-vibe? I'm just some hyper-anxious forever alone sperg
I don't think you have to worry about giving off the player vibe. You'll be giving off plenty sperg vibe.
>>36526456
That's what I'm saying though, if only they could know about my autism immediately, then it'll save us all the hassle of them finding out later and the can just not talk to me in the first place cause everyone's just gonna end up disappointed anyway. It's like even when I make an ass of myself and spaghetti all over the place they just think it's endearing. I just want to be left alone without anyone elses expectations. I would let myself go if I wasn't so vain, and even there it's like fuck there isn't shit to be vain about here anyway
>>36515843
just go pound her go with the flow nigga. honestly if she is basically presenting you with pussy and you fuck that up you should seriously consider taking your life
go and be a great fuck you stupid goddamn champ
>>36523660
For you
>>36515878
>your gonna love this fitness dick
fucking lost it
>>36526433
I feel ya, people tell me i look like a rapper and i fuck sluts.
I cried like 8 times when i watched dragon ball though.
I cried when i watched Interstellar.
Also virgin.
>>36515878
Kek
>>36527759
>I cried when i watched dragon ball
>I cried when i watched Interstellar
>>36527822
Brah what am i supposed to say. My parents raised me this way and Disney Movies were my most favourite.
When you see me in a public i look like a jacked fuccboi, so i atleast i got that
>>36523669
someone watched the Black Mirror christmas special.
Just bust a nut and leave... Solves your virgin problem then.
>>36524724
virgin detected
>>36527759
Interstellar reduced me to sobbing pile of shit. What an amazing movie
>>36516954
Kek
>>36516112
>>36516097
>>36516107
Nonvirgin here. This is exactly what I do. (although I figured it out intuitively). If you are in a relationship, its always good to switch roles sometimes and let her lead and tease and whatnot.
>>36515843
Hey, gotta lose the v card sometime.
The only thing that can make you better at sex, is having sex.
t. virgin.
>>36515843
Read 'Sex God Method'
>>36529788
is it legit? Anyone can confirm?
>>36515871
>the virgin feel when
>>36515878
>your gonna love this fitness dick
This turns on the female
>>36515843
FAP 4 HOURS BEFOREHAND
YOU WONT CUM DURING SEX
>HAD THE SAME THING
and its not that hard as it looks
do the easy stances
let her lay on her stomach
u go ape mode from the top
easy fucking shit
>>36515932
Tfw when I don't even know whether this is a meme.
>>36518609
>do reloads from video games
I keked so hard. I don't usually kek
>>36529637
The only people that interstellar was bad are autists
>>36516097
>>36516107
>>36516112
This is all true, beta fuckboys and virgins take note
Sceario 1
>you're way too excited
Slow down. Just slow down. Don't be afraid to change positions if you're gonna bust one. If you don't know what to do, tell her to get on top.
Scenario 2
>you're not nearly as excited as you thought you'd be
Pretend you are. Literally fake it until you make it. The more excited she thinks you are, the more excited she will be, which will then make you actually more excited.
>>36531526
bretty gud advice familia.
>>36515871
9/10
>>36531573
Is this on r/4chan yet?
>>36531573
>>36531709
it's not that funny really.
> The more excited she thinks you are, the more excited she will be
Somehow I still got this notion in my head that guys always have to be the cool ones who never flinch and get too excited. how do I shake this?
>>36532339
There's nothing wrong with being excited as long as you maintain control.
>>36515942
Dude if you say you're a virgin she may not want to fuck, just say you're inexperienced
There should be like a permanent thread for this on /fit/
There should be like a permanent thread for this on /fit/
>>36515843
Say yes and when she gets there ask her to spot you while you do your reps first. Free spot, bud.
>>36515942
Alternatively, if you're as unlucky as me. She will think it's cute, still want to fuck you, and then still expect you're some sort of sex god. Worst sex I'll ever have in my life.
>>36515843
Go for it, when you inevitable fail to satisfy her and cum in 30 seconds don't apologise or say a word about it.
There should be like a permanent thread for this on /fit/
>>36534254
this
lifting won't cure autism
>>36515878
>a shitty pickup line
>fucking that one up as well
>>36516097
>>36516107
>>36516112
>>36516119
>>36516125
>>36533684
also, especially since it will have been your first time, you'll likely be ready to go again after a couple of minutes
>>36529141
>plebbit
Stop taking yourself so seriously and have some fun for once, senpai.
If you're going the straight up savage route like most of us on here, your first fugg isn't supposed to be mind-blowing. It's supposed to be hilarious. Laying some half-assed limp-noodle pipe on a bitch who you got all mixed up thinking you're the God beforehand is funny as shit. Bad sex stories are the most fun ones to share with the lads, hands down.
