At last it's happened! I've finally risen! You freed me mortal, from my long prison! As your reward your deep desires, just tell me sir what you require! There is a catch, I cannot lie and those with doubts need not apply. To have your wish I need your gains, so give me that for which you've trained...
>what do you do, /fit/? Do you sacrifice your gains, and if so what for?
>>36403124
Yes, for immortality. This way I can have infinite gains.
Double gains
>>36403171
Id word it "ever lasting adolescence or youth" desu. Don't wanna live forever as an old guy
>>36403185
Desu = it is
If you're going to have a tic, do it right.
>>36403124
I wish for my family to not be a broken dysfunctional mess.
>>36403124
Begone foul creature!
>>36403193
Found the newfag.
>>>/reddit/
>>36403185
>not wanting to be the legendary hermit of the mountain
Wow pleb desu
Infinite wishes.
Seriously guys, it's not rocket science.
>inb4 you can't wish for more wishes
Then I'd wish for the ability to wish for more wishes.
>>36403200
giving two shits about your broken dysfunctional mess family and not fixing your own situation. lawling @ your pigeon brain.
>>36403293
The first would led to positive. The second could lead to an eternal time loop of you asking for infinite wishes, then being transplanted back in time before you asked for more wished, and continue until death.
Remember when you ask a genie for anything you have to be very specific because it is in their nature to trick you when they grant your wish.
>>36403316
Good point.
I may have to consult a lawyer or a politician on this one.
if there's actually no way to get more wishes then hell yeah I'd wish for eternal youth
if nothing "infinite" like that is possible then is just wish for a metric dickass of money so I can train and live however I want
>>36403316
>>36403348
>Need to go through a team of lawyers just to make sure you're not getting fucked over
I thought genies were from the Arabic culture, not Jews?
>>36403348
I would ask for one wish a week until I died, and that my dying wish could be for linear immortality.
I'd wish for dubs.
>>36403371
What if the genie makes you die in a week's time?
>>36403124
make Trump the president of the united states of America
I seem to recall the original lamp Aladdin found was a weaker genie who actually did give him infinite wishes, which he used to ask for food, then he'd sell the plates the food came on for money to buy more food
Then he found a better lamp, then his dumb fuck wife gave it away and then I stopped reading
So be it genie, my gains will return. Give me eternal youth so that I might lift forever
>>36403395
Do they have that kind of power? If so I would ask for the dying wish and become immortal in a linear fashion.
The only wish I have ever really wanted was a wallet with infinite money and anytime I reached inside it would have as much money as I desired. No bulk or anything and only responded to my touch.
>>36403381
Granted, but no one will check them for you.
>>36403413
Granted, he is impeached for voter fraud however
>>36403432
Granted, eternally a toddler
>>36403371
wtf is linear immortality?
>>36403193
> Desu = it is
more like "to be". weebnoob. also word filter much?
>>36403472
Immortality lived in a linear chronological order. Not getting fucked over and being immortal before the Big Bang and having to wait Billions of years for life to form, even though that would be interesting.
>>36403455
>anon wishes for dubs
>genie gets dubs
str8 wishmaster
>>36403532
>That'd be interesting
Nigga you'd be sitting around for billions of years watching dust float around
I get bored in the three seconds it takes for my post to process
>>36403362
You become a baby forever
>>36403568
To experience all of that would truly make you into a god among sentient beings.Omniscience complete.
>>36403193
Immolate yourself plebbitor
>>36403193
And if you actually took Japanese you'd know it's in the right part of the sentence, after the object. Using desu may be a weeb thing to do, but if you're gonna try and be a mega weeb and correct things, at least do it right.
>>36403585
The human mind can't handle a void. It would drive you insane within a matter of hours, if not minutes.
People in dark, sound-proof chambers begin to hallucinate noises and visions within minutes. Years would drive you far beyond your sane limit.
You wouldn't be omniscient, you'd just be a crazy person so disconnected from reality that you couldn't communicate with anyone (or even recognize that they exist, really).
>>36403657
>yfw you realize that homeless guy muttering to himself outside of the liquor store is actually an omniscient being
>>36403657
Lol. This implies you can even begin to comprehend omniscience which you can't. In the world of what if's it would be cool. Watch Lucy, it would be something like that towards the end.
To be a god.
>>36403124
Genie I wish that you'd be my friend
literally how do you not ask for an unlimited supply of wishes, the first one of which is your gains back?
How is this a question?
You sacrifice your gainz and ask in return something you have no possible way of obtaining ever in your life.
Gainz can be achieved again and it gives you the drive to better yourself for that much longer
>>36404425
>Your wish had been granted. You may now make an unlimited number of wishes, none of which will ever come true
Now what?
>>36403455
genie =/= monkey's paw
>>36404510
Monkeys paw is more evil than that. It'd be more like
>Give me eternal youth so that I might lift forever
And then stick you under a weight you can never lift off you so you're stuck there for all eternity
>>36403293
Wish for more genies
>>36403124
Genie turn back into hot vizier pls
Id trade my gains for injury free workouts for the rest of my days
>>36405233
....shit, that's a really good one. I'm on board with that one.
Guys I have an old brass lamp from Turkey and I rubbed it but nothing came out. Was I ripped off?
I wish for 10 more wishes
>>36403366
9/10 kek'd
The power to have any power any time i want that doesnt harm me or my loved ones
>not making the broadest wish that can never go wrong
>>36405382
yeah, faggot, but then you'll have no gains to give away. dumb ass nig, i bet you have a degree in social studies faggot
>>36405369
somebody already rubbed it off. it's called a refractory period
>>36403124
> I wish to have quadruple the amount of gains that you would take from me.
>>36405218
>Lol. This implies you can even begin to comprehend omniscience which you can't. In the world of what if's it would be cool. Watch Lucy, it would be something like that towards the end.
>>>
>Prometheus !!B68Wo9LPHpj 03/16/16(Wed)08:01:24 No.36404056▶
> To be a god.
>>>
>Anonymous 03/16/16(Wed)08:49:11 No.36404416▶
> >>36403124 (OP)
> Genie I wish that you'd be my friend
>>>
>Anonymous 03/16/16(Wed)08:50:20 No.36404425▶>>36404509
> literally how do you not ask for an unlimited supply of wishes, the first one of which is your gains back?
Granted. Now you're on fire.
>>36403124
Give me that boy's hole!
>>36403124
transport me back to when i started so i can do it all again
>>36403124
Bring Macho Man Randy Savage back from the dead and make us friends.
I wish for the ability to grant any wish I may have without becoming an enslaved magical being myself.
>>36404815
No, a monkey paw is not meant to inflict obvious, direct pain. It's to make you regret what you wished for.
It would be like wishing for eternal youth, but in return everyone you know and life dies a premature death far earlier than they otherwise would have lived
>eternal youth
>marry wife
>she dies 3 years later of cancer
>get dog
>dies the next month by getting hit by a far
Stuff like that.
That said, even then immortality already has that cost associated with it. All stories that have someone living well past everyone they knew and loved, being left behind and alone. That was one of the main points in (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED 20 YEAR OLD SHIT) Green Mile, where Paul was granted prolonged life and everyone had long since died, leaving him to rot alone in a nursing home with nothing but Mr Jingles as company.
>>36403293
lol wtf? You don't have two wishes, so what the fuck is the ability to wish for more wishes gonna do if you don't have any wishes?
You're asking for the key to the lock that's blocking the door lock.
>>36405742
Done! You can now grant wishes to the entirety of the human race, and will hear them at all times whenever one is made regardless of where you are.
>>36405758
Just to add, that was also the major plot point in Lord of the Rings, where Arwen was being pressured by Elrond to give up her love of Aragorn as she would live past his last days, and the days of their children, their grand children, etc. - She would be left alone to grieve as her family grows old and dies throughout the ages.
Immortality sucks dick sometimes.
>>36403629
I'm fairly sure desu can just go to the end of any japanese sentence, not necessarily just after the object. Most japanese sentences end in a verb, anyways.
>>36403185
turns you into a baby
>>36405766
BFD. Once the initial wish is granted, I have wish autonomy which allows me to circumvent any nonsense that came from your misunderstanding of my initial wish
>>36405890
The entirety of the human race no longer includes you, since you can now grant wishes.
>>36405938
Then you didn't grant my initial wish since it was for the ability to grant my own wishes, not those of humanity. You suck dick at your job, m80. Not to mention even if that granting holds up, there's no rule that magical beings can't also use their abilities in their own self interest if they aren't caught up in forced servitude.
1. I'd wish for more genies
Since my gain in gone i go to my friend and ask him to wish my gains back
2. Go to my friends house
Make him wish that there is no requirements to make wishes
3. Wish for a time machine that requires no power
4.No side effect of time travel
that means that i can exist throught time with infinite possibilities
5. Predict world events make people think i am a form of a god.
6.Always appear in major events of history
>>36403124
Wish for infinite gains.
Thus infinite wishes.
>>36405771
But even if youre not immortal your loved ones are still gonna die. You'll learn to deal with it in 10 trillion years and then you can start doing whatever you want for the rest of forever. You could even find a way to bring them back and make them immortal too, you've got plenty of time to figure it out
