>You will be twice as muscular and strong as Arnold in his prime
but...
>You will never again have sex with anyone who weighs less than your 1RM squat
Post answers and your own dark bargains.
>You instantly add 30 kgs to your max OHP
BUT...
>You instantly lose 3 inches of your total height
>>36344473
Hmmm. I'm 6'5". I might be able to afford this one.
>Become a god of aesthetics, comparable to Zyzz
But
>You're diagnosed with stage 10 autism and asperger's
>>36344473
I'm 5'3" already with a 1.5 pl8 OHP. I definitely could see a career in the circus coming my way.
>>36344457
no way. not even close.
>>36344473
either. i'd be 5'11 and i'm not well rounded enough to enter manlet status. i get by because i'm tall but that's it.
>you have your exact goal body (dick size included)
BUT
>you have premature ejaculation
>>36344457
I'd do that, I'm only attracted to children anyway.
Your squat form becomes perfect
But
Sara Piana follows you around and says YUP! after everything you say.
>>36344498
I have death grip anyway. I can't cum from sex unless i've abstained for 2 weeks solid with no porn and no stimulation, full stop. It's bullshit.
>>36344507
>your squat form becomes perfect
I need this in my life
>you get a QT 3.14 10/10 asian gf who is loyal for life
BUT
>you will be skinnyfat your whole life
>>36344498
Jokes on you, I already prematurely ejaculate.
...but seriously, it sucks and it's ruining my confidence.
>>36344498
I've blown after 3 thrusts on a random hookup once. I was embarassed, but I just kept on pounding so she wouldn't know. Took all of my effort, but I got that bitch off with a half chub eventually. I say yes.
>No supplements or roids ever work for you ever again.
But
>Another guy nutting in your ass gives you all the benefits of DNP, tren, anavar, HGH and epo combined with none of the side effects or dose limits
>giving someone else an orgasm (male or female) instantly gives you a quarter lb of lean muscle
>having an orgasm yourself instantly removes 10 lbs of lean muscle
>>36344539
how long does the nutting effect last? will I have to be nutted every time i would usually pin or does it last for a week/cycle etc?
>>36344531
Pass, I'd rather have to work for my gains than be a faggot.
>>36344556
yeah sure using a vibrator on tied up girls is my fetish. i'd do it very often and fuck once every 15 sessions or so.
>>36344564
Only works for a day at a time
>>36344556
I'd do this in a flash. my gf usually has multiple orgasms (2-3) when we fuck, and if i casually finger her more often I get to have an orgasm about every 2 weeks, that should do.
>>36344575
You don't get off that easy. (Heh)
Only orgasms you physically cause. And it has to be a different person each time.
>add as many inches as you want to your biceps and calves
>every girlfriend you will ever have gains 10 lbs for every inch
>>36344457
>you finally start to make it
BUT...
>you must spend 6 hours a day shitposting on a Azerbaijanian sheep-shearing collective
>>36344841
shit, I don't know if I can cut back to 6 hours
>>36344841
lel as if...
>>36344492
sounds like a trade up for everybody here.
>you now have a qt3.14 gf who lifts with you
But...
>you can only do crossfit
>>36344973
>living the dream
>>36344531
This is bad how?
>any barbell you use suddenly weighs nothing, so you get to add 45 lbs to all of your lifts
But
>any time you touch a barbell, the knurling instantly disappears, and any gloves or straps you wear disolve into dust
>>36344973
Where are the negatives?
>>36344624
>implying I'm not going to get a rather skinny girl, add two inches two my biceps and plow a high test girl
Low test retard detected
>>36345009
>two inches
So you're still a skelly, but now your girlfriend is fat?
>>36344995
>he doesn't know about chalk
I'd take it, even if chalk was disqualified. I don't do deads and already hate rows.
>>36345017
Not everyone here started lifting three months ago.
>>36344473
6'3" so I would definitely do this.
>>36344457
jokes on you i can only squat 65lbs ahhaha
Remember, Arnold could squat 545lbs, so that means if you're twice as strong, you couldn't fuck anyone who weighed less than 1090lbs (494kg).
>You will have all the benefits of being on full gear, but without the negative side effects
but...
>Everybody will never believe you're natty, even with proof, and you will never be able to compete in any competition to show how strong you are, and most girls won't want to fuck you
>>36344457
>you will have the body of zyzz and facial aesthetics of your choice - god tier everything, flawless skin, body won't start showing signs of old age until 60 and even then you'll still look amazing
but
>mentally retarded. not a euphemism, ACTUALLY retarded. you can barely manage to make it through a workout without someone reminding you how to lift.
>You can add as many inches to your height as you want
But
>You take those inches from your dick.
>>36345791
does it work the other way around? can you get shorter and longer? tall women turn me on and if i made myself a manlet then theyd all be tall. if they laughed at my height id reveal my wiener and thatd be that
>>36345772
So like a buff and retarded John Stamos
>>36344457
>You get all the benefits of training with roids
BUT
>You have the side effects of training with roids
>>36345791
>5.7' with a 7.5 schlong
It's tempting, but i'd have to pass
>>36344473
>30kg to OHP
>mfw my OHP improves that much every 6 months
>>36346021
enjoy ur cancer from rough roiding
>You become as muscular and strong as zyzz was with no steroids and perfect health
But
>Niggers and shitskins start moving into your area (in larger numbers if they already are)
>>36344507
Your squat should already be perfect
>>36344973
passable? id want to be as fabulous as possible - big hair, massive fur coat, the works. goddamn thatd be nice
>>36345904
So like John Stamos
>>36345942
Id take it because the money gear costs isnt technically a side effect. Youre basically getting free drugs at that point. 100iu HGH bulk inc.
>>36344473
>wanting give up height for something you can do without magic
>>36344841
Too close from home
>>36344575
You'd better double check your math
>>36344497
Kek
>bench goes up 315
>lose 5 inches of heigh
>travel to outerspace for 2 years
>grew 5 inches
>profit
>????
>continued
>>36344498
>>36344841
When do I get my goal body, ideal dick size, and start to make it??
