Meanwhile, in ye olde /fit/...
>hath hoisted many o'year
>still have not aquired a fair maiden
Hold me bretheren
>>35659896
>2016
>lifting for fuck pigs
Despair not, my bretheren. For we shall upon a time come, wherein we all have it made.
>>35659896
>Starting Sword and Gallon Of Ale A Day
>Searching for a maiden
>Not realizing that the sun is the truest maiden of them all
Praise it
>>35660712
Maidens cometh and go with great frequency. The sun will rise and fall for eternity. Praise.
>>35659896
>late 1098, sieging city of Maarat
>Cold as fuark
>No food, ate horses two weeks ago
>Eat pagans for mad gains
Spring of 1099, thousands of swole-saders push through heathen ranks in stylized armor with 5% decorating helms and shields. Gainz increase with victories, as the dead are eaten for protien.
![1452529076589[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/qTZZ9ZL.jpg "1452529076589[1].jpg")
>>35659896
Do not be such despaired cunts brethren, for Ye Olde Scoobius Maximus is always watching
>tfw born into royal blood
>tfw my body fat complements my vast wealth
>tfw arranged to be married to a 9/10 qt3.14 virgin girl
>tfw my favourite uncle is taking me to the fields to pelt toiling manlets with rocks tomorrow
>>35660787
>ITT: Tales from gentry who bare false witness
>>35659896
> year of our lord, Charles VII, 1453
> take the hand of a buxom wench in holy matrimony
> return from the Battle of Castillion to seek solace from defeat in the comforts of home
> blindsided to find that my maiden thought I had perished
> taken up with the tavern keep
> has given the bastard 2 sons
> mfw
>>35660712
420 praise it
>my brothers and my kin
>be wary of the ways of witch and saracen
>for if your natty card you turn in
>you will follow the path of zyzz and be lost to the world of men
>>35659896
Yesterday I was high on lsd and pulled out my $50 Pakistani steel one handed shit sword and sharpened and started swinging it around. Found new, underdeveloped muscles. Proceeded to swing sword and jab for like 6 hours. Am now going to start lifting for battle effectiveness.
