Dear /fit/izens,
I come to you with a dilemma. I'm a highly functioning alcoholic. This isn't self diagnosed; friends, family and groups have made this fact clear to me. In fact I'm shitfaced as i write this. I have no intentions to stop my behavior as much as everyone around me wants me to.
However, I come to you asking for your honorable guidance. I drink between six and 12 beers per night, recently switching over to highly alcoholic malt beverages and finally to $12 gallons of vodka (low cals, bro) that keep me going for two days maybe.
What can I do to continue this behavior yet rid my body of this excess fat (i.e. beer belly) that I've gained over these last two years. I'm around 200lbs at around 5foot10.
>inb4 fucking manlet
Advice?
>>35610202
Wow. Dude you're not even worth the time to type out a response. You're killing yourself. You already know exactly what you need to do or you'll just end up dead. Looking fit isn't even In the realm of possibility with that level of addiction. Get help.
>How do I change without changing?
lol stop drinking
>>35610235
>How do I get fit without sobering
is what I mean
>>35610202
Crack
deadset, itll get you off the alki at least partially and youll drop weight like a motherfucker. get on it lad. Worst case scenario you go to prison where diet is regimented or die, either situation better than your current one, gl :)
>>35610255
I snort coke and eat adderall regularly
>"Still the Same" by Bob Seger
>>35610243
you can't, stop drinking like some sad fag
>>35610202
Quit drinking
I was in a similar situation about a year ago. Roughly the same stats as you but I normally only had 6 beers a night plus maybe some red wine. You have to realize what you're doing ain't optimal for gains. In saying that:
>work out your TDEE
>subtract your daily booze, ie 850kcal
>use IF to delay first meal at your eating window (ie. at 2pm-8pm)
>eat your remainder calories
>make the meals high in protein and have lots of vegetables
>start drinking and do whatever it is you do drunk
>after drinking consume a lot of water and have some painkillers
>go to bed
>when you wake up have more water, some fruit, take your fish oil and multivimants
>go for your workout (weights or cardio)
>repeat; eat at 2pm etc.
You will lose weight doing this, but as I said it is not optimal as alcohol hinders proton synthesis, increases fat storage [citation needed], and it will make some morning workouts difficult. Good luck.
Switch to GHB
>drinking
>2011+4+1
>ISHYGDDT
>>35610202
Why don't you grow the fuck up.
>>35610228
>>35610235
>>35610243
>>35610255
>>35610275
>>35610296
>>35610317
>>35610326
>>35610374
Why try to reason with a drunk?
>>35610317
Sorry, i'm newto /fit/. Whats TDEE and IF?
>>35610414
S T I C K Y
Work hard
Honestly, I regularly drink a bottle of vodka a night, wake up at 530, work my ass off until 4, buy vodka.
Rinse, repeat.
Look relatively good, remain relatively fit.
>Consuming tons of useless calories
>killing test levels with booze
>not gonna make it ever
>>35610202
>What can I do to continue this behavior
c'mon brah
don't do this to yourself
the reason you indulge yourself in drinking is because you are running away from something
>>35610414
IF: Intermittent fasting. Basically stop eating food at (eg.) 9pm and have your first meal at 2pm, meaning you fast for 15 hours. There's lots of videos on youtube about this. It's not magic it's just a nice way to spread your calories throughout the day.
TDEE: Total daily energy expenditure. It's your BMR (calories needed to be a mouth breather), multiplied by a constant based on your activity level (which the online calculators will ask you). Choose the lowest possible TDEE if you're trying to cut hard or aren't very active.
>>35610448
why are you helping someone who clearly hasn't read the sticky? You're an enabler and should kill yourself.
>>35610458
The sticky's long and hard like the dick in your ass
Thanks to the fits who are responding seriously
>>35610469
so you can't take the time to read for half an hour and understand the basics of nutrition and exercise yet you think you are going to be able to train 3-5 hours a week and have the willpower to change and stick to your diet.
Telling you to read the sticky WAS serious you entitled cunt. Understanding the basics is the necessary foundation upon which you begin to build, if you don't understand the basics but instead rely on anons to spoon feed you bits of information here and there you are never going to make it. The sticky is fucking important you god damn idiot.
>>35610317
Literally any type of pain killer you could possibly be talking about (aspirin, tylenol, ibuprofen, opioids) is fucking terrible for you when absolutely any alcohol is present in the body. It will destroy you exponentially faster than alcohol by itself would. You have to be the least knowledge person I've ever had the pleasure of reading.
>>35610426
>drinks a bottle of vodka a night
>relatively fit
delusion at its best
>>35610481
Im drunk tho, remember?
>>35610487
:^)
>>35610202
mirin' vicious cycle brah
whenever you stop drinking and get /fit/ af is the day you'll realize you won't need to get piss drunk daily
instead ur a fat shit, that drinks to feel less like a fat shit :^)
>>35610496
>hurr durr I'm drunk so spoon feed me fit
you're pathetic in every way
my dad died 4 years ago, liver damage from ~20 years of alcohol abuse.
>mfw getting 450€/month of half-orphan's pension
>>35610487
>[citation needed]
Op here, Ok forget the booze for a moment. What about cigarettes? I smoke a half to a full pack (20) a day. Anybody do the same yet stil maintain cardio like a motherfucker?
>alcohol putdowns x F
Save that shit for once a week max. You'll be amazed with you gains after several weeks with no booze.
>>35610505
I dont think how i look will change how i feel but that is way beyond the point in a very different thread
>>35610202
Please, for yourself, talk to a doctor.
>>35610202
I drink heavily 3-5 times a week. I drink double vodka, water and lime as it has the least impact on my fitness goals.
I know it holds me back but I refuse to sacrifice my social life for the superficial obsession that is health and fitness. I still bench 2 plates, OHP 1 plate for reps and have a decent body and my diet is pretty solid.
Its about balance. You can sustain your lifestyle. You just need to be disciplined and not allow it to make you miss you work outs.
>>35610517
I doubt it. You could always ask the kind degenerates at 420chan.
>>35610507
Whats the fucking point of the board if the sticky answers all questions? Im asking a geniune question concerning my lifestyle vs getting fit. Whats wrong with that?
>>35610533
I did. He said to talk to you guys.
>>35610543
would you build a house without first building a foundation?
would you teach someone how to write without teaching them the alphabet?
would you fill a pool without first installing a lining?
The sticky is important for a reason, you need to understand the basics then you can worry about the rest.
>>35610562
Other's had no problem answering me. And as you can see, i'm a drunk and the sticky just didnt seem as worthwhile as a response from someone who was thinking directly about the issue i put forth in the original post
>>35610597
You strike me as a fuckin joy to be around.
Grow up.
>>35610597
so not only are you a fat pathetic drunk but you're an entitled dumbass too. Just kill yourself already.
Stop drinking if you want to be healthy. if you just want to lose weight, do heroin, at least you dont get seizures from the withdrawls. Its much more expensive tho
>>35610597
A lot of /fit/izens are short tempered manlet narcissists who lack empathy.
I'm off to the gym but my advise would be to get the myfitnesspal app on your phone. It's a neat calorie counting app where you can scan foods to add to your food diary.
>>35610517
>6-12 beers a night
>half to a full pack of cigarettes a day
Seek help
>>35610517
how do you afford this shit btw u fat fuck?
>>35610775
I sell my fat by the pound
Alright, I'm tired of you niggers bumping this thread.
Now on, sage this fucking scrub.
OP, if you don't have the ability to care for yourself, or fucking read even, then just go pass out and continue in your downward spiral you shitposting, drunk, lazy bastard.
How do you do it.
From one /fit/ alcoholic to another;
Look into low carb beer, I drink Pure Blonde Ultra Low Carb, has the most minimal effect on your diet.
Quit fuckin smoking man. Seriously, it's so bad for cardio you have no idea. Just give it a try for a month and see how much it improves your running time/length.
Make sure you drink enough water. Two litres a day. It'll help you out so much and will minimise the negative effects of the drinking.
Finally, prepare to die really young from liver failure, liver cirrhosis or one of the many other diseases that come from excess drinking.
