You have 20 seconds to justify why you aren't taking cold showers, smoking Cuban cigars, going to massage parlors to cheat on your girlfriend, and eating blended raw eggs with spinach every day? Aren't you alpha?
>>35525479
>cold showers
I like hot showers
>smoking cuban cigars
sounds expensive, I am not that into smoking
>massage parlors
sounds expensive
>cheat on your gf
no gf
>eating raw eggs and spinach
well, when I am too lazy to cook them I will pop them raw but no thanks usually
>>35525479
Cold showers after lifting attenuate muscle growth. You're literally killing gainz with your bullshit bro science. excuse me while I find my source
Smoking cigars is legitimately enjoyable.
>>35525551
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1113/JP270570/abstract
>tfw you realize you've been killing your gainz
>muh iron will
I love cold showers and cigars, I'm too alpha to have a gf that would only try to tie me down and raw eggs will give you salmonella and are stupid.
>>35525570
Anything that reduces inflammation has this effect.
>>35525479
>Cold showers
I used to do that, and you are right, I probably should get into that again. It always felt great. I'm not even sure why I quit doing that.
>smoking Cuban cigars
Health? Also addicting myself to things goes against my lifestyle.
>going to massage parlors to cheat on your girlfriend
I love my girlfriend and have no interest in casual sex
>inb4 low test beta
Grow up, manchild
>eating blended raw eggs with spinach every day
Salmonella, plus raw eggs are usually harder to digest making the proteins in them less available for the body. I should probably eat more spinach, that's true.
>salmonella
>not growing your own chickens in your bathroom
>not getting your eggs straight from the chicken's butt and sanitizing them with whisky
>>35525595
back to r/fitness fagtron
>>35525595
Not OP, I don't smoke either. But you're a little beeotch
>>35525479
That's a lot of material to cover in twenty seconds. It probably took me longer than that to type in this response on my phone, explaining to you that twenty seconds won't be enough time to give you an adequate response to your query.
Was there a specific reason to limit us to twenty seconds? It just seems like a rather unfair, arbitrary deadline.
>>35525479
>cold showers
They're pointless
>smoking Cuban cigars
Being healthy is alpha
>going to massage parlors to cheat on your girlfriend
Paying for sex is what betas do
>eating blended raw eggs
Egg proteins are better digested and have a higher biological value when they are cooked
>>35525479
>you have 2 secs OP to prove you aren't a faggot
Time's up
>cold showers
I do
>smoking cuban cigars
I don't smoke
>massage parlors
Sports massage every now and then, but shit's expensive
>cheat on your gf
no gf, and ain't lesbian
>eating raw eggs and spinach
yeah I do this desu but I add soymilk and avocado too. some berries for the flavor.
>>35525479
>cold showers
Its freezing outside, I dont need more cold mang
>cuban cigar
cus cigars are faggy as fuck outside of a proper context, which can be found seldom
>massage parlor
y u pay fordipussy
>raw eggs and spinach
cus im not a nasty fucker
>>35526142
20 seconds is more than enough if you'd have strong fingers, which apparently you don't. May want to reconsider your training regime.
>>35525570
>>35525551
>Cold water immersion is a popular strategy to recover from exercise. However, whether regular cold water immersion influences muscle adaptations to strength training is not well understood.
>not well understood
Really m8? Did you even read your own source?
>Cold showers
But I do take those anon
>Smoking cuban cigars
Why?
>Massage parlors
Gay as fuck
>Cheating
Low selfcontrol or trying to fill the endless hole that is your sexual insecurity?
>Raw eggs with spinach
Learn to fucking cook
>>35525479
because I'm not a troglodyte
>Cuban cigars
If I wanted to look like a fuckwad, I'd go all the way and smoke a pipe like someone who really just doesn't give a fuck.
>being in a relationship with someone you don't like.
This is the dumbest meme. There's nothing more insecure than people who are proud of not loving their spouses. Wow, so masculine.
>alpha
Ugh. Nothing is more embarrassing than people who use alpha unironically. Do you pop your polo shirts too?
>blended raw eggs and spinach
I eat spinach almost everyday, but I'm not in a training montage, so I don't take my egg raw.
I'm so naturally inclined to bring alpha I have to give myself road blocks
>>35525479
>Why don't you take cold showers?
I feel better in the emotional warmth of a shower.
>>35525479
what a load of tryhard bullshit
>>35525479
Why would I do what some random nerd like you considers alpha?
THIS IS YOUR DAILY REMINDER TO PLUG IN YOUR BLENDERS, HEAT UP YOUR FLOTATION TANKS TO SKIN TEMP (35.5*C)
THE WEED HAS BEEN LIT AND IT'S TIME TO SLAM YOUR KALE SHAKES, TAKE A TOKE & MARK OFF YOUR CHECKLIST
TO POP YOUR:
ALPHA BRAIN
SHROOMTECH
KRILL & MCT OIL
PRIMATE CARE PILLS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22GjkJw0WXk <---- HIT PLAY NIGGA
>YOUR FEAR FACTOR THEME SONG ALARM BLASTS THROUGH YOUR HOUSE
>YOU INSTINCTIVELY JUMP INTO YOUR HOMEMADE OCTAGON, FITTED WITH BATTLE-ROPES AND A "WRECKING BALL" STYLE CHIMP KETTLEBELL ACTION COURSE
>AFTER YOUR INTENSE WORKOUT YOU CALL OVER BRIAN REDBAN USING TING BEFORE GETTING INTO YOUR ISOLATION SENSORY DEPRIVATION FLOTATION TANK AND PACKING YOUR MOUTH TO THE BRIM WITH POT BROWNIES FOLLOWED SHORTLY AFTERWARDS BY COCONUT WATER ENEMAS JUST AS THE DMT KICKS IN AS YOU LISTEN TO DUNCAN TRUSSEL AND GRAHAM HANCOCK HYPOTHESIZE THAT THE PYRAMIDS = ALIENS AND THE ARK OF THE COVENANT IS HIDDEN IN UGANDA
DUDE BOOOOM LMAO
DUDE KETTLEBELLS LITERALLY ENCRUSTED WITH WEED AND DUNKED IN MCT OIL AND THROWN OFF BUILDINGS FEAR FACTOR STYLE
>"BRENDAN SCHAUB JUST END IT ALL, I THINK YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FIGHTER AND I HATE YOU, BUT COME BACK ON THE PODCAST SO I CAN BLOW YOU THE FUCK OUT OF THE WATER AGAIN AND REDUCE YOU TO TEARS"
>"BRENDAN "FRASER" "FUCK MY SHIT UP" SCHAUB, JUST TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT. YOUR CAREER IS OVER. IT'S TIME FOR THE SMITH AND WESSON RETIREMENT PLAN"
Joe Rogan, 2015
>YOU ARE NOW PICTURING JOE ROGAN NAKED IN A FLOTATION TANK WITH A MOUTH FULL OF POT BROWNIES TRIPPING
Brought to you by SquareSpace©
cue the hempforce mustard
cold showers are the shit but i don't take them anymore because i put coconut oil in my hair. that shit is impossible to wash out in cold showers.
>>35527497
this is the best post i've ever read on this shitty board.
>>35525479
>going to massage parlors to cheat on your girlfriend
buying a hooker isn't cheating, it's literally the same thing as jacking off but better/more expensive unless you're one of those idiots that likes to kiss and/or go down on hookers
>>35527497
that was fucked what he told schaub, live on the air of all places.
>>35527497
this is the true joe rogan experience
>>35525479
>why you aren't taking cold showers
I do.
>smoking Cuban cigars
I don't like the taste. Disgusting.
>going to massage parlors to cheat on your girlfriend
I live in Germany, we have prostitution. Massage parlors are for massages.
>and eating blended raw eggs with spinach every day
What the fuck? Every day? Get the fuck out of here with this diet.
>Aren't you alpha?
I'm happy. Let other people decide if I'm 'alpha'.
>>35527497
>>35527689
Whichepisode was this? I remember seeing one where Schaub boasts a bit about the $ he's getting from sponsors and Rogan gets butt mad and actually asks Schuab to show him some tax forms and shit. Goes full autist whenever money and ufc are mentioned in the same sentence.
> doing those things just to prove himself to other losers who do those things
> actually thinks those things are signs of being alpha
> being this beta
