Ok.. How the fuck do I stop this shit from constantly happening?
WIPE
I
P
E
you learn to wipe your ass properly you fucking disgusting manchild
wiping
>>35497893
Lifting plug.
>>35497897
>>35497900
>>35497901
>implying this doesn't happen from farting all day
>>35497893
yeah man always spit on the last couple of wipes to clean dat hole.
Use your regular toilet paper to wipe up, and then finish off with some baby wipes.
>>35497893
suicide
No joke I switched to some of those moist cottonelle wipes. It works great, but use them with regular toilet paper.
>always use butt wipes and toilet paper
>always squeaky clean before leaving bathroom
>this still happens
>tfw trying to hide it from my girlfriend
>"no dear, I'll do all our laundry, don't worry about it"
>>35497893
Pampers wet wipes are cheap as fuck and are like having a tiny little elf lick your asshole clean. Stop wiping your ass with shitty toilet paper and wipe like a civilized human.
>>35498025
>take butt wipe
>wrap around finger
>relax sphincter
>stick it in half an inch
>clean inside
>>35497893
depends
>>35497893
Install a bidet. Should only happen again if you shit yourself. If this happens regularly get a lifting plug no homo familia
If you fart, this is going to happen sometimes. Stop farting, basic hygiene and you're good.
use baby wipes
if your undies get stained over time from that, switch to black colored undies
>>35498046
This is the way to go if you're a mongrel/savage in a land that doesn't use bidets.
DESIGNATED
>>35498012
same
>>35497995
Or you know, use babby wipes. TP wont do 100%
Only shit before taking showers and take two showers per day.
I haven't wiped in years to be honest.
>>35498517
SHITTING
>>35498544
PANTS
>>35497893
>All these disgusting wipers
Do you guys seriously not clean your asses with soap and water every time you shit?
It feels good living in a place where hygiene is taught while you grow up.
>>35497893
>Doesn't have a bidet after every shit
How filthy
>>35498095
>>35497956
What kind of fucking diet do you fags have that you leave skidmarks when you fart?
What the fuck I let one rip every other hour but I never have skidmarks like that.
Do you guys eat half a package of butter every day or what
>>35497893
use a bidet you dirty animal
>>35498046
putting a finger uo in your ass instead of using a bidet...
you are so gay
>>35497893
this is one reason why we use toilet paper pajeet
Quit the energy drinks anon.
>>35497893
You filthy americans should civilize already.
>>35498095
>Stop farting
Is this really possible?
diapers
I always workout without underwear, shit feels gross when it soaks sweat and starts clinging to your balls
stop having gay anal sex, you cock apparatus. maybe not having a 7 incher up your poop hole every day will let your anus go back to being tight enough to not let shit leak through
Live by this:
Shit before you shower.
>>35497893
You either got it or you don't. It ruined a guy at works life. We stopped calling him his name and would just shout " Hey Shit Stain", even the guy who filled the vending machines would call him "Shit Stain"
>>35497893
One to wipe one to shine my darling.
Also do give your behind particular care when showering. You know, get a handfull of soap and go to town on your crack. Wash it like the English queen will be drinking tea out of there later that day
>>35498009
>>and all the other same suggestions
>not just getting dank toilet paper that can be wetted
>>35497893
Wipe better.
>>35499506
I take more than 7 inches several times a week and I don't leave disgusting skid marks like OP. Oh, and no homo, of course.
>>35499677
Kek
/fit/ ladies and gentlemen
Wipe properly and for fuck sake, wash your ass. No one is going to wash your ass for you.
>>35497956
If you wipe properly, no amount of farting will leave a skid. That's straight up shitting your pants, not farting.
Buy it at your local pharmacy. Pricey, but you just need a dab or two. Clean that butthole man.
Baby wipes are bad for our sewers faggots. Bidets don't get all the sticky/mud Poo of your butt (I know, I have one).
Vaseline also works. It picks up all the poop inside it's oily gooiness AND allows you to wipe like a beast without turning your asshole raw.
>>35498623
This.
OP - use toilet paper and then a wet wipe. Or plan to shower after.
Oxygen bleach (dilute hydrogen peroxide) gets rid of stains like that well. Just soak your clothes in the wash for an hour or so and then do a cycle and it should come out clean.
Fucking hell mate, how fucking old are you that you cant even wipe your arse ??
Wipe till clean then use wet wipes you utter cunt
>>35497956
>implying that does happen from farting
you fucking goon
>>35497893
all these people telling you to wipe
wash your ass when you shower you disgusting fool
>implying wet wipes work with that fucking hair on my anus
>implying I want my mom to see those literally shitty wipes in the bin since you can't flush them
>implying we can afford a toilet with a bidet
>>35497893
Suggestions:
>Shave your asshole
>Wipe
>Shit before you shower if possible
>Wear black underwear (microfiber)
>Not adjusting when you shower to match when you shit
>Not spreading your asscheeks and letting a stream of hot water massage your anus
>Not doing this after edge fapping so that it causes you to cum
No homo
>>35499857
>I want my mom to see
oh for fuck's sake
>>35499867
>Shave your asshole
naw man, read this https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/35274458.html
>>35499824
This so much. OP just wash your ass crack while showering.
>>35499938
Just try, it feels nice and clean. Your farts are louder, but you'll develop the right technique in no time. Don't worry so much.
>>35497893
Anon had his time of the month? Just stick a tampon in there sweety
>>35497893
Wipe once dry, once wet, once dry. Works perfectly every time.
>>35497893
Shave your ass hair, despite your wiping it's getting caught up there, so its coming off on your underwear
>>35497893
>>35497893
Bidet, or go into the shower and wash it. It takes like 2 minutes.
>>35500183
What's that?
Fertility doll?
>>35499677
You're good. It's only gay if you push back
>>35498011
underrated post
>>35499937
Come on man, that shit's nasty.
Wipe?
>>35497893
shower every day and stop scratching your asshole
>>35500245
Lifting plug
>>35497893
poo in the loo
>>35497893
Just use a toilet brush geez
>>35497893
Change your diet. Stop eating inflammatory foods.
Happens to me if I eat chicken, dairy or pork.
>>35498086
Don't forget to spread your ass cheeks as far a possible while yelling "I'm European! I'm European!"
>>35499936
I shit like 4 or 5 times a day. I'm not gonna shower after each one.
>>35497893
>2016
>not using unscented squat plug
>>35499506
> gay anal sex
Okay anon :DDDD
So this means I can have my gf fuck me with her strap-on and this won't be an issue? :DDD Or put a finger or too up my boipussi? :DD
Seriously, learn about how sex fucking works, you turbo autist.
>>35497900
>>35500256
>>35500946
>>35500965
>>35500981
Underrated.
>>35501006
See a doctor, please.
Wipe with wet wipes man
Even if you didn't do the doo doo. Just go to the toilet and wipe
>>35497893
Wash your ass and stick a pinkie in your ass to clean the walls around exit, faggot. Not only will you have a clean asshole, but your ass won't smell and you won't have to worry about shit stains any more.
you are sweating from your arse, there is a medical term for this
just use the shit as lube and your ready to go
>>35497893
Wet wipes are ok but if you are having leakage then put a wad of tp pressed against your hole and leave it there for an hour.
>>35497893
stop scratching your ass and wipe?
>>35497893
Squat plugs.
>>35497893
Try wiping your ass, dummy.
>>35497893
take a shower after the deed.
wiping never gets the job done after a wet shit.
manpon son.
take some toilet paper fold in half stick in ass crack.
Do you ever scratch n sniff then go back for seconds ?
>>35499064
You have to crab walk from your toilet just to get your bum clean
>>35497893
Psylium husk 4 scoops a day
If you are serious, perhaps consider panty liners. Girls use them when they have discharge or might be getting close to their period.
http://ask.metafilter.com/173016/How-can-I-prevent-myself-from-getting-skid-marks-in-my-underwear
"Also, take psyllium fiber. I'll spare mefi the details, but suffice it to say regular intake of psyllium has rendered wiping almost a formality in my life.
I like the kind from Trader Joe's. I hear Metamucil is fine, but I don't need the added sugar in my diet. Whatever kind you get, give it a couple weeks before deciding it it helps. Also, drink lots of water with it."
How are your shits? I have hemoroids and I tried baby wipes and everything and would make sure my ass was squeaky clean after a shit, even shower 75% of the time then 2 hours later I'd have crazy itching scratch my ass and it'd smell like shit. I'd go to the bathroom and wipe and it'd be covered in shit somehow. Pretty sure I had leftover shit goo that wasn't coming out because I hadn't had a solid turd in around a year. I do 4 scoops of metamucil a day now and literally wiping is almost unnecessary, my poops are all great solid lofts and no more skid marks/hemroid itching.
Lifting plugs are the way to go for me.
OP, i've had this issue for awhile as well. I discovered that it's mainly dairy that gives me that. Also helped with my bloating. Funny thing is that despite me drinking strictly lactose free milk, I still had those issues.
Try drinking only water for a few days and see if it helps.
>>35497893
Mmm i love dirty discharge stained panties. How old are you OP? :)
>>35499064
Get on my level, pleb
>>35501825
>cleans ass once every 2+ days
>thinks his diet is the cause of his skidmarks
I honestly thought we were all joking when we're saying
>wash your ass and wipe properly you animal
But do people actually not wash their ass?
>>35497893
Learn to wipe you fat fuck
>>35498095
i never get this from farting
Wipe front to back to avoid a dirty asshole.
>>35498046
>>35499857
>hair on my anus
Join us in the civilized world and shave your ass hole anon
>>35497893
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q
Get one of these
>>35498046
Fucking this, get a French boyfriend to clean the inside of your asses out you filthy filthy American slobs. Sacre BLEU
>>35504022
I got one of these as a 'gag' gift for xmas but goddamn senpai I don't think I can go back to shitting like a regular person again. You sit on there and crap basically falls out your butthole.
I have found that it also increases dingleberry production by at least 42%, so please wipe well.
Drill ur hole with toilet paper not just the outside
>>35498009
The other way around. Start with wet wipe, then dry with dry tp
>>35498579
You're some kind of asian autist aren't you
>>35503980
I do, can't get it all. Might have to use cream.
>>35502166
>2016
>Still haven't got one of these nor ever seen one irl
Once I buy a home I'm buying one of those so I can actually say I live in a 1st World country.
>>35504129
this senpai desu
>>35497893
Stop stimulating your G spot by holding your shit in.
>>35497955
shushushushushu
the sound of my laugh
>>35504049
shushu
>>35497893
It's about the amount and quality of fat in your diet. If you eat a lot of pizza, fries, chips and dogfood-quality burgers and/or tacos, you get these kinds of shits.
>>35504129
>drill your hole
>drill
lol im taking this one back to reddit
>>35500991
Burst out laughing on bus
>>35499793
if baby wipes are bad for our sewers why did god evolve flush-able baby wipes?
Am I the only one who sometimes wipes their ass like a thousand times and there's still shit on the paper, and then I just give up and say fuckit.
>>35498046
Exactly. You can even push with the sphincter first to make sure there's none left in there. Push to open up, then relax for a greater spread. Use your other hand to pull on one cheek and bend over forward a little. Also, make sure to buy a second trimmer dedicated to shaving out your ass / pubic hair. I recommend Wahl. I was going to include this technique in my book.
>>35504022
That commercial went a minute too long
>>35501759
At least my bum is ACTUALLY CLEAN fucker.
Every time I shit, I go to the shower and I wash my ass, crotch and dick (I'm there, might as well wash other parts).
Imagine this:
I take a bunch of shit and spread on your arms.
You wouldn't only give it a wipe and go to work.
You also wouldn't just use some water to clean your shit covered arm.
YOU WOULD USE WATER AND SOAP, AND WASH THAT SHIT OFF, you would be smelling your arms to see if there is as much as a little resemblance of the smell of shit.
Treat your asshole just like that, you won't be shitting your pants anyome, you disgusting fuck.
>>35504076
just flows out of you.
>>35498623
This just about covers everything I was going to say.
>>35497893
unscrew your toilet seat, throw it in the trash where it belongs, and learn to shit like a real man by squatting over the bowl.
Wipe your fucking ass you disgusting social degenerate
>>35497893
anon
>>35498036
Pics of tiny little elf.
>>35498564
Hahaha
>>35499857
>I want my mom to see those literally shitty wipes in the bin
Good post
Also, she's your mother. And always will be. You've shat directly onto her before many a time.
>>35511021
Doesn't mean she likes seeing the shit of her grown-up son.
>>35501018
please, PLEASE, do not stick a lava lamp up your ass
Use bidet
>>35501467
Anal leakage.
>>35499857
>You can't flush them
???
>>35513137
there are some wipes you can flush, but some of them you're not supposed to
>>35513137
Well usually they're not supposed to be flushed. Have yet to come across ones you can.
>>35506273
>I was going to include this technique in my book.
???
