You prop the bar on your back and lift it off the rack. You descend, just when you begin to rise up a blinding flash hits you. When you come to, you realize you've been transported into a boxing ring in 1987 and are facing off against Mike Tyson.
How has your lifting prepared you for this moment? What will you do in order to defeat 1987 Mike Tyson?
>>35417273
not in the slightest since boxing is about technique
>>35417273
/fit/ is defenseless
>>35417273
Pull off the plates and chuck them at him, then start laying into him with the bar.
>>35417273
Tell him to lithen up.i dont want no trouble ya hear?
Then protheed to.flexth my trapth and core, shit mythelf while going "wolololololo" at a low growl
If.that doethnt thcare him off i dont know what will
>>35417273
I pretend to go in for a punch towards his face face with my left arm. As he moves to block, I hit him in the neck with my right elbow. As he suffers from the blow, I quickly take a kick at his head. If he remains standing in pain, I then kick at his ankles.
>implying its hard to defeat a boxer
Duck down and punch him in a groin. Disqualified but alive and healthy.
>>35418074
You most likely can't punch hard enough to make Mike Tyson even fucking flinch, he was a heavyweight world champion.
This is what happens to everyone on /fit/
Lying on the floor kicking worked against Ali, I suppose I'd try that.
>>35417273
slip the weights off the bar and start throwing them at him.
>>35417273
PIPE BOMB
I
P
E
B
O
M
B
>>35418147
Only because the rules prohibited striking a downed opponent but didn't count you for being down. Doing that in a boxing match would get the win awarded to the other guy.
>>35418102
Even if he doesn't expect dirty fighting on the ring, his reaction times and pain tolerance are definitely far better than the average person's and most likely better than yours, and ANY martial artist who trained in a decent style for long enough can most likely win against a untrained person his size and age, nevermind a fucking world champion on his prime.
I use my best squat technique to crouch down. With my well trained obliques I spin around rapidly. Using my powerful deltoids and triceps I lift one of the ring ropes with one hand; with the muscles in my back I pull down the other rope. With my muscular calves, glutes, and quadriceps I spring out of the hole I've created and out of the ring, and finally, using my endurance gains I've acquired from dutifully following couch 2 5k, I run the fuck away as far as I can, because there is no way in shit that lifting 3 times a week for a couple hours a day has prepared me to fight Mike Fucking Tyson, the best boxer in human history.
>>35417273
>How has your lifting prepared you for this moment?
tbqh no
>start to hum the outro to cowboy bebop..
>unsheath my 14ft long telescopic fur trimmed versace riot wand
>proceed to place wand into the back pocket of my pants so i look like an RC car
>slowly crouch down into a car shape and hum louder...
>raise my hips up so im on my tip toes and rapidy run my socks on the mat back and forth about 1000 times
>start singing escape the city by crush 40 as i leap forward at mike
>unleash a static shock with the force multiplied by my antennae
>instant KO
there we go faggots it's not fucking hard christ wept salty tears of milk
I'd have to use the secret Joestar family technique.
>>35418102
>punching mike tyson in the groin
>surviving to tell the tale
Pick one
>>35418885
ill pick surviving to tell the tale
>>35417273
I'm an amatuer boxer and I'd be royally fucked. I doubt 95% of /fit/ has ever been in a real fight, let along against another fighter. You're all fucked. There's probably never been a man on 4Chan who could have beat Mike in his prime.
>>35418045
I'm glad to see people are quoting my oc.
I made it
I guess I just cover my ears and hope for the best.
>>35418102
Punching anybody that's pumped up with adrenaline in the dick is only going to make them very, very angry
>>35417273
Lifting does not prepare one for fighting a professional boxer, who even said that? If it did, boxers would squat more often. Lifting can give you different advantages, but it certainly don't prepare you for fighting a boxer.
I bite both fucking ears off that sissy bitch
>>35418915
Pro mma fighter here. If its strict boxing rules i would be fucked. I would atleast try to hit him before he knocks me tfo . If it was mma i would try to stay away from him and attack his legs via kicks. If he did his bullrush which you know he would i would shoot and do whatever it takes to get him to the ground. That wiuld be my best chance anyway. Btw im also a heavyweight weight 240 while im not in the ufc or a huge org im working my way up and actually in talks with bellator
>>35417273
Go up to him, square up
>he starts doing his footwork
>I crack my neck
>I drop to my knees
>"pls don't hurt me"
>he's confused, looks at ref
>pull Tyson's ankle out from under him
>mfw Roman Grecco wrestling for 5 yrs
>proceed to snap his kneecap with mean leg lock
>climb up his body, gouge his eyes out with my thumbs
>3 swifts jabs to his throat
>rack weight
>>35417273
I was born tall enough that he can't reach my ear
>>35419370
>mfw recovering skeleton
>mfw been lifting for less than a month
probably lean into the first punch and hope that if i die it's a quick and painless death.
>>35419370
>implying he couldn't rupture your Lanklet liver
>>35417273
i practice crab maga and am confident that despite his mass advantage i can edge a win from superior technique
86 Iron Mike was the best tho. 28 fucking knockouts in 2 years.
He was amazing.
>>35419454
You can celebrate victory from his undeniable humiliation over breaking his knuckles all over your pulverized face. Surely he will never recover from the shame.
I saw a vid of a guy giving up on a boxing match after punches that didnt even landed well and the other boxer was like "IM REALLY SORRY GUYS,I WANTED TO FIGHT THIS PIECE OF SHIT. IM REALLY DISAPPOINTED'.
that would be me, i'd get my money adn walk from that as soon as possible.
I love mikey
>>35417273
suck his BBC
>>35419150
Shit man respect. What's your name? I'd like to follow you. Try to get that joocy Kimbo Slice fight if bellator signs you.
>>35417273
My strong quads will help me leap directly out of the ring and flee the arena.
Mike knew he how to psychologically read his opponents:
>Most guys were just pretty much intimidated. They lost the fight before they even got hit. I knew the art of skullduggery. I knew how to beat these guys psychologically before I even got in the ring with them.
>I walk around the ring, but I never take my eyes off my opponent. I keep my eyes on him, even if he’s ready and pumped and he can’t wait to get his hands on me as well. I keep my eyes on him. I keep my eyes on him. I keep my eyes on him.
>Then once I see a chink in his armor. BOOM!
And one of his eyes may move and then I know I have him. Then when he comes to the centre of the ring, he still looks at me with his piercing look as if he’s not afraid.
>But he already made that mistake when he looked down for that one-tenth of a second. I knew I had him. He’ll fight hard for the first two or three rounds but I know I really broke his spirit
>>35419150
What does your routine look like atm?
>>35417273
Why would your lifting mean shit? You don't think Tyson lifts?
Im an amateur kickboxer so I'd last all of 3 seconds longer than the rest of you
>>35419150
>Pro MMA "fighter"
the funniest thing about MMA fighters is they all think their "pros" because theyve fought once in a z-league promotion in bumfuck Arkansas because MMA is so inexplicably popular they have amatuer leagues sprouting up in every crevice of the country
The second funniest thing is that they think what they do is "fighting"
>>35419150
>Pro mma fighter here
>240
>4chan
Something's fishy
Tyson is a 5'9" turbomanlet whereas I am 6'1" perfect god race.
I use my superior reach to keep him at bay, land a few jabs each round and win by decision.
>>35420468
>amateur
>pro
Christ you are retarded
>>35420546
Yeah, thats what Im saying, MMA fighters will fight in an unrecorded dungeon and say their pros even if they only made 200$
>>35418146
The follow through on that uppercut is fucking gorgeous
/fit/ is so fucked
I leave the ring and avoid taking a pointless concussion.
double
side control
mount
GnP
armbar
>>35418146
>>35417273
Mike tyson would find me such a pathetic human specimen that he wouldn't even consider for a second that I'm actually someone he's competing with.
I seriously hope none of these replies about any of us beating him are for real.
>>35418913
kek
>>35418102
No. You either drop to the floor, run, or get your face punched in.
Have you seen the videos? Fast punches, even for a trained boxer. He'd hit you twice while you're still thinking about his groin.
I'd stab him in the eye with my needle dick
>>35417273
>Take a shit in the middle of the ring
>Run in circles until the timer runs out.
>>35421544
It depends I guess. I DO have a height and (probably)weight advantage against Tyson but he does have years of experience of being the GOAT (no disrespect to Ali) so in my honest opinion it could go either way.
>>35418915
How long have you been training? How feasible is it for me as a 19 year old dude to become pro?
>>35421666
Nigga was lightning fast:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51090bGcoR8
>>35419454
>>35417273
Run. Just get the fuck out of there and never look back
I'd maybe win if I had a pipebomb
>>35421704
>it could go either way
people like this guy exist
how do you function on a daily basis you fucking autist?
>>35421544
I hope you realize the evolution humans have undergone in the last 30 years. A person from present would pretty easily overpower Tyson and propably match his speed also. And we are not talking about trained individuals such as ourselves. Many of us have had some sort of training in martial arts and the systems have developed too since 1980's. I would say skillwise we'd be on par with Mike.
Considering our strenght advantage I would say Mikey here would be done in a couple of minutes.
>>35421753
> autist
> "muh buzzwords"
If you have a counter-argument then say it you faggot instead of relying on ad-hominems.
>>35421754
B8 m8
>all these replies honestly insinuating that they could beat mike tyson in his prime
>clinch every two seconds
>headbutt him like mad
>ref doesn't call it
>he bites my ear off
>win by DQ
>>35417273
Nigga, I just gained my vision (been completely blind since childhood) and teleported AND travelled back in time.
I think I'll handle Mike Tyson.
>>35422073
I'll put your mother in a straitjacket, you punk-ass white boy. Come here and tell me that, and I'll fuck you in your ass, you punk white boy, you faggot... I'll eat your asshole alive, you bitch... You scared, coward, you're not man enough to fuck with me, you can't last two minutes in my world, bitch. Look at you, scared now, you ho. Scared like a little white pussy, scared of the real man. I'll fuck you till you love me, faggot.
>>35417273
Throw a big bag of white powder at him, climb out the ring and run for ma life
>>35417273
Throw myself down and get count out. Gain fight money and re-think my life. Sell myself and pretend i made up TRX, crossfit and bosu. Make milions, never give a shit or remember i lost to the great one in the ring
>>35422093
>mfw
>>35421704
>this guy
I would use my great footwork to turn 180° and ask the coach to "throw the damn towel".
>>35417273
>ransported into a boxing ring in 1987 and are facing off against Mike Tyson.
You know what? If he was a champion I would get 25% of the prize fund no matter what - even if I lose.
Of course he's gonna KO me. But I will survive for sure and got a lot of money. So nothing to be scared of.
>>35421754
I have a cousin who talks like this about literally every fucking thing. It's ridiculous and you just can't hold a conversation with him because the arrogance is just overwhelming.
I start acting like a referee and try to convince Mike that the actual referee (who is probably more built and skilled) is his actual opponent.
If that fails, I'll rip my ear off, hand it to him and weep in fetal position begging for forgiveness while praying to Zyzz inside my head.
>>35422367
It's legitimate autism spectrum stuff though I'm not sure if that post was bait.
>>35422403
Lmao I'm pretty sure that post was bait, but yeah then my cousin must be on the spectrum. He's also my room mate, so that makes for maximum lulz.
