>ITT: discuss personal improvement, life goals, tips and what whatnot
>thread music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAbzlj3nf4E
Sup guys
well it's saturday night and... I wish I wouldn't be in front of my computer right now. I'm sure deep down, a lot of you fitizens will feel the same way. Yet here I am on /fit/, because I've been in cocoon mode for the last 4 months or so, and I'm about to come out. 2015 was a shit year to be honest. A girl I had feelings for passed away in april and... well, let's just say I fell really hard. I spent all of my summer drinking/getting high in front of my computer and contemplated suicide. Here I was on top of a 10-story building, thinking whether or not I should jump down... that's how low I got and from that moment, I decided I would spend the rest of my life being a social human being that's constantly learning and improving himself.
Life is a gift. Life is short. We are literally NOTHING in the universe. Our daily stress and drama are ultimately... absolutely irrelevant.
Your main goal, as a human being on this planet, is to be happy, and not end up at 88 years-old on your death bed thinking ''man... I wish I could start all over again, I missed up on life''
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnqsN2MniF4
So anyway, in the last 4 months I've managed to:
>break the chains from alcoholism
>stopped smoking weed
>practice being a more social person through small talk with strangers
>get in shape
>quit playing videogames
what's left is:
>quitting cigarettes (tomorrow is day one)
>cleaning up my room to make it more female-friendly and clean
>greatly reducing the time I spend on /fit/ and in front of my computer
Once I get those monkeys off my back, I'll be able to use most of my free time for social activities, reading, taking courses, travelling and improving myself. The key is to expose yourself as much as possible. There's no way you're gonna meet people (and grills) if you spend so much time inside doing jackshit.
Go Vegan. srs
Anyway, here's some recommended reading:
Hero Living by Rudy Reyes
The selected works of Johann Wolf von Goethe
Mastery by Robert Greene
Models by Mark Manson
here's some dyel pua dude that delivers a great motivational speech to step out of your comfort zone and improve your social skills with girls (30min long)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Z7HwmSX92ZY
>pasta from a few weeks ago
To be fair, I'm a 6'1" blue-eyed blonde guy, so that probably colors what I'm telling you. But I made the leap from years of kissless celibacy in college to getting ass on the regular now,
so maybe this helps a bit.
First, focus on yourself. Doesn't mean go cocoonmode, just that you dedicate yourself to building a solid base. Get in shape. Clean up your house. Get your education or career on track.
Ideally, get some wheels - a pickup and a motorcycle if you can afford it, but a shitty 1990 civic is better than nothing. Basically just eliminate the most important weaknesses.
Second, get a social hobby or two. Your WoW guild doesn't count. Join a frisbee team, a hiking club, or something similar. Coed is preferable but not required;
you're here to make some bros right now, so don't get distracted by women. The goal here is to get used to loosening up and relaxing in a social context, and to make some regular friends.
Start hanging out before and after the events - show up early and chat, stop for drinks with some of the group after events. You're probably years behind in developing your social skills,
but that's completely fine - you don't have to dominate the scene, just focus on being a good listener and being the guy people like to talk to and hang around,
maybe contribute a little to the conversation.
Give that about three months to get comfortable, then start seeing people more socially. You are now ready to start putting in effort with girls. PUA offers one really good piece of advice here -
if you're afraid to approach a girl, or you make excuses about "not right this second, just need an opportunity", then you need to go out and deliberately get rejected by 100 girls.
Sack up and deal with it. I promise, you're basically numb to rejection after the fiftieth one, but the pain of cowardice never stops. Go out with some guys to a bar and get shot down.
If they have tips, listen.
>>35154455
>2/2
A lot of Chads aren't so hot. Some I've known are manlets, ass-ugly with pug noses, or have the unfocused gaze of a lifelong stoner. They still pull plenty of pussy, because they don't get hung up
and make excuses. They fear their own cowardice more than they fear awkwardness and rejection. They rely on the strength of their bros and their own confidence to succeed.
We aren't all created equal, so it comes harder for some than others. While you're whining about Fair and Inner Beauty, Chad is fucking your oneitis. So stop whining about it.
Once you've overcome your cowardice, get some female friends from your social group to help you revamp your wardrobe.
Chicks love to play dressup; it's their second-favorite thing after playing matchmaker. So you've got one or two female friends helping you fix your wardrobe, and they are off limits,
but they have friends who are single. Get them to set you up. Dates are fine, but I prefer group social environments. The risk that the new girl will prefer one of the other guys is,
in my experience, outweighed by the way you will outrank her in the social hierarchy simply by being there with friends you know well. If you can't take that, set up a blind date.
You'll probably have to go through ten or more before you can handle a first date without spaghetti, deal with it, Chad did it ten years ago which is why he seems so much better now.
Keep it casual. Meet the new girls for drinks somewhere. Wander around the area. Don't be afraid to touch her. Don't push for commitment. Amuse yourself first,
she'll be happier to feed off your positive emotions than to watch you dance to entertain her. Acting like she's gf material is too much pressure, don't do it.
You get good at dating surprisingly fast. Then you get good at hookups. And then, backwards but true, after that you start to get good at meeting girls. And then you're Chad.
36 year old NEET. Goals at the start of the year were
>Get fit (In progress)
>Get a job (In progress)
>Get my drivers licence (done)
>Get a gf (In progress)
Going slowly but I feel like I'm improving my life a little each day
>>35154462
>>35154455
this is legit
www.arcitea.com
Is a nice SIG guide
Yo guys pretty good book here "The Power of habits", its about how habits are formed, and how we react under stress to break down on the habits we are trying to build. I would recommend reading it.
Actually I think im going to read the book again, its been a while since ive read it.
Its in MOBI format, although i prefer epub to read on my iphone.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_7PfOSBMv7lc2FLanE3Y003ZTA/view?pli=1
What are you thinking about the red pill and MRA things.
For myself I like to stay bluepilled until my oneitis disappoints me.
>>35154499
good job man keep up the work! Im trying to get my academics back on track. The biggest issue im having is wasting time with friends. Its really costing me a lot of time.
Lately when ive been hanging out with them, i notice that they really just have interest in whatever it is they are doing. They dont seem to have any dreams or aspirations outside of playing Nazi Zombies, or getting high. Its a bit frustrating, because its rubbing off on myself.
Shit i just realized it when i was typing up all that shit up there. Fuck those guys, they are just gonna get stuck there, doing the same shit over and over again. I got shit to do brah.
move out of my parents
lose virginity
in this order, unfortunately. I fucking hate both of these things, especially at this laughable age (late 20s)
I'm a Slovakian studying in UK. In Slovakia I have a huge amount of social connections and friends, I am outgoing and meet new people quite often etc etc, but in UK I know like five people and half of them are my flatmates and I am unable to get new friends.
I even joined some societies and I casually talk with people there and in uni but I can't find anyone whom I would consider as a friend or even a gf material.
wat do?
>>35154437
its the holidays and i have nothing going on except gyming. i want to do something other than play vidya all day but i dont know what else to do. help me /fit
>>35155752
Read books?
Go out with your friends?
Go skying?
Go ice-skating?
You guys should consider doing some volunteer work
>>35154437
good post good thread.
>>35154447
i tried vegan but it didnt have the great health benefits i was expecting
>>35154437
I don't let girls that I haven't got serious with into my head. Those bitches start gaming some serious shit. Keep it cool as Ice. And raise my charisma and personality.
Also started nofap. It does cure laziness.
>>35155772
i feel like people who take up volunteering only do it so they can talk about it and it gives people false sense of selflessness.
>>35155813
Any guys got some rationalamountoffap routines?
like, once a week?
>>35155874
I thought that too, mate
I'm not the guy you replied to
But I did it in the end, to build my character, add to experience and I ended up getting a wealth of knowledge from it.
Hell, it's even a good thing to add to your CV
Sure you can be humble about it, but in the end it does show selflessness
>Self-improvement general (SIG)
Just leave 4chan
>>35156037
this
>>35156090
why not?
>>35156110
not the anon but I often get good advice here, some good keks, movie/music/books recommendations etc.
What I would want to do is spend less time on 4chan, not leave it altogether
>>35155765
i-i dont have alot of friends anon
>>35155546
>not staying with parents and saving 100% of your salary
>moving out, and busting your ass working just to get by and survive
lol k
Stay poor.
Answer these, your answers can be as short as a sentence or as long as a novel. The more you put in, the more you'll get out, but answering the whole list in any capacity will change your fucking lives:
>What is your plan to start deserving what you want from life?
>What’s the #1 area that you haven’t evolved and changed as quickly as you should have?
>What is the difference that you have noticed between rich friends and poor friends?
>What is the #1 area that you have taken a lottery/sit-and-wait approach? What was the result? What is your new sculpture plan?
>What is one specific instance you were helpless and in hindsight what would you have done differently?
>What are two things that you have not integrated well in your life?
>What has been your biggest excuse for not reading, and what book reading pace are you going to commit to?
>What area are you not tough in, and what is 1 thing you can do to toughen up?
>What is an area that you have under invested in?
>What is an example of you going beyond confidence into delusion and arrogance?
>How are you going to proceed with knowledge?
>Take a person that comes to mind that is critical to your endeavors, what is their weird factor, 0% - 100%? What is your weird factor, 0% - 100%?
>How are you going to deal with the insecure people in your life?
>What is an example of a long-term goal you had for health or wealth or love or happiness that should have been done much quicker?
>What is something you can start impatiently right now and how are you going to break it into bite size chunks?
>What is an example of a time when you should have been listening to people but didn’t?
>What is an example of a time when you listened to people that you shouldn’t have?
First things first: GET THE FUCK OFF 4CHAN AND STOP COMING BACK. IF IT IS PART OF YOUR ROUTINE, REPLACE IT WITH SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE.
Now you're on the right path.
Godspeed
>>35155513
>https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B_7PfOSBMv7lc2FLanE3Y003ZTA/view?pli=1
hi thanks very much for this. although i found a pdf on google which is easier to access.
>>35156178
well, that was rather hard hitting. just filled this out in notepad. time to cut out some of the bullshit and live a scary life i suppose.
>>35155735
Just get joocey
Learn English fluently and don't be entitled
Which uni?
>>35156362
My English is more or less fluent, but I feel intimidated by the amount of native speakers that I have to interact with.
Aberdeen, shitty expensive city where nothing really happens
>>35156345
Well done. You've advanced past your past failings 100% in a matter of minutes, you've got a new awareness that will push you to new heights.
Day 1 might be scary.
Day 2 is inspiring.
Day 7 is fun as fuck.
Day 30, you'll wonder how those molehills ever looked like mountains to you. You will wonder and just not know.
Day 60, you're fucking unstoppable and something else completely. As if your very essence has changed into something more. Something better.
That list of questions took a long time and a lot of money to come in to, but has been effective to everyone who's completed it since. I've been waiting to share. Thanks for listening.
>>35156419
thank you anon
>>35156419
Any more you can offer I would be very grateful
>>35156503
Check out Tim Grover, Bernie Roth, Shawn Achor, Charlie Munger, Tai Lopez and Sean Stephenson's works. That's the essential list right fucking there. Napoleon Hill too, but I'd assume anybody wanting to improve their life has already read Think and Grow Rich.
Look at YouTube videos and torrents...
If this thread is up still tonight, I'll throw in some more of the questions. I'm busy now and have to get off 4chunz.
Since we 're on /fit/ and we 're all lifting and hitting the gym :
Don't ever let the gym take up your whole life. I can't put enough emphasis on that. You need to keep things in balance and constantly take things into perspective.
You are NOT a professional athlete. You are NOT making a living right now out of lifting and you probably won't. I won't tell you exactly how to live your life, but your priorities should be on your carrer, family, interpersonal relationships and your free time hobbies should come afterwards.
Are you willing to live a life of mediocrity, with a job you hate but you only do just to get by? With no real friends? Without a loving family? Grow up old and alone? And eventually regret for everything while lying in your death bed?
Was it really worth it? Was it really worth it not going on holidays just to not miss workouts and meals? Was it really worth it not eating that delicious meal your mom made for that special occasion?
I'm not saying you should a lazy person who makes up excuses. You can actually have a graet career, a great family, great friends and being great in your fitness endeavours too.
Do a basic strength training program, not only it will be the most efficient way to train in terms of time management but for results too. Lift heavy 3-4 times a week so you can have a really flexible schedule. Have an unexpected appointment? You still have a lot of room to schedule your week a bit differently in order not to miss your workout. Ditch the meme clean eating trends, follow flexible dieting. Eat healthy on a regular basis when alone and enjoy anything you 'd like with friends and family while hitting your macro goals, it's really not that hard to do. Want to go on holiday? Take a deload/off week. You 're most likely gonna benefit instead of go backwards if you 've been training hard for the past 6-10 weeks and it will give you a psychological break too. (1/2)
>>35156744
(2/2) And actually study lifting. Read SS, read books about programming, learn about anatomy, biomechanics, movements and how to perfect them, read some studies. That's where the real knowledge is, not in this Ethiopian panties exchange forum. Doing all the above will get you miles ahead of broscientists while you still have a great and fullfilling life.
The fitness community is TOXIC. The earlier you realize this the better. Cause you better stay away from it. Leave it and never ever come back to it.
It promotes an unhealthy body image, obsessions about nutritions and lifting and it's all done for the money. People become frustrated and sad because they don't get the results they expect because the fitness community feeds the crowd with unrealistic physiques, that were made with a combination of steroids, top tier genetics, years of training and a life and job revolving around their body and their training. Bodybuilding is unhealthy, physically and phychologically equally. A vain, narcissistric endeavour, with so many sacrifices just to have a good body.
Set your priorities straight. Aim for lifting to be a positive influence in your life, not a negative one. Do it for its actual health benefits, for the calming effects and because you like it.
I need to know how to stop being chronically lazy. Over the last few years or so, I've degraded to pretty much spending each and every day sitting at my computer doing nothing. Even when I force myself to not play games or browse 4chan I'm barely any more productive. It's screwing up my university grades and I'll be fucked if I don't change.
Could anyone please give me some tips?
>>35157059
step by step
step 1: figure out the steps
>>35157119
Ah, must have missed that post. I'll give it a read.
Whenever I've tried to sort myself out I always end up reverting to my old ways after about two days at most. I guess habit building and discipline is what I need.
thank you brahs
I fucking love those threads
>>35156744
>You are NOT a professional athlete
You have a really good point. But everytime i hear someone saying "You are not a special snowflake" to someone else, i think about what would be IF the guy is a special snowflake. Now that he got told, he isnt one he may never show his "real" talents.
Like "Dude you are already 20, dont start the violin" and in reality the guy would be a fucking pro, but doesnt start now.
But now i want to seek some advice:
>Turned 21 2 days ago
>working for a temp agency and make very little money(Banker)
>Going to school on saturday so i can go to college (No HS Diploma but yuropoor)
>Almost every day i want to kill myself
>sometimes i get a little bit off hope and start to feel better
How do i get out of this negativity. I want to be happy. But i dont know how. I always feel like im never going to get to my goals and should just stop. But then i think, the day im stopping to approach my goals is the day i die.
How do i get happy?
I dont want to take more meds.
>>35157342
you don't really seem to have issues that would justify wanting to kill yourself, are you sure about the meds?
>>35157342
If you are feeling very negative you should try to self reflect on what things you want to change in your life.
Youll realize that some parts are also connected and that if you remove one deficit you may be able to solve another problem.
I have no idea what the english term for this is (cause im just some social worker from germany) but basically you choose important categories in your life. Things that are important to you, for example:
Occupation and career
Health and fitness
>relationship and love
friends
Free time and hobby
finance and money
self improvement
spirtuality
rate all of these with 0-10 and think about your reasons for doing so
Very often people the people i interact with can immediatly make small goals to improve their life. Take it slow and easy. Youre 21 and a lot of people arent nearly as self sufficient as you sound.
>>35157391
I have ADHD and already take meds.
Yeah i know what you mean.
I have a gf, a nice car, my own apartment, my parents love me and are always there for me.
But i have pretty high goals and high standards for myself (Worst mistake ever in my life, was to take a IQ test. I scored pretty good and now i feel dumb everytime, i dont understand something the first time)
Also its pretty depressing to get manhandled at your job like a little bitch.
Got a 1 Year contract after my apprenticeship.
Now i have a 1 year contract at a temp.
My new bank wants to save some more costs and is already firing people, so it doesnt look bright for me.
At some point i just wanted to join the french foreign legion so i can get away from my life and start something new. But since i have asthma, i can forget that too.
>>35157453
Nice bro. Im also from germany.
Meinst du einfach Prioritäten setzen? Ich bin manchmal einfach nur Müde und will nicht mehr. Das ist eigentlich ein richtig dummes Verhalten in meinem Alter, dessen bin ich mir bewusst.
Sorry to the other anons, i dont want to shit up the thread with german.
>finally get qt3.14 aryan gf
I thought i was in a good mental health but damn my mind is so fucked up. I get jealous, insecure, anxious and drama over the smallest things
how do i fix this before i lose her?
Hey cunts
How do I stop having a tiny waist?
I have a 29" waist and 37" hips.
I want to stop looking like a girl.
>pic related, somewhat similar to my hip to waist ratio
>>35157487
I know that feel.
Everytime you get jealous etc. just think about how stupid it is and that you got totally no reason too. Or if you want to start drama, just remember that you are happy.
About the anxiety or the insecurity. What helped me alot is the following (Random girls tho)
>See a hot girl I want to talk too
>Instantly get insecure and think she will laugh at me
>Form a picture of me fucking her/her ass hardcore
Then i could only grin and laugh and the insecurity went away.
>>35157499
Work on your obliques.
>>35155735
sorry dude but sometimes its just because you are different because you were raised in another country.
look at any high ranking social group in the country, whether its guys, girls or a mix, they will probably have no one who isn't from the UK. brits are actually strangely xenophobic and kinds racist. foreigners are laughed at a little here and seen as kind of comical. if you act 'foreign' or have a strong foreign accent then you may find it quite hard.
>>35155958
>volunteering
did that for a while in high school. ironing and tagging clothes, it was fucking boring as shit. never again.
>>35157499
damn bb
pls be in london
>>35157499
Do movements where your obliques have to carry weight, like deadlifts.
>>35155735
A former Slovak on /fit/? Wew. Where you from brah? (aký kraj/mesto)
>>35157548
>>35157607
sorry bb
>>35157609
thanks goys
>>35157456
>>35157480
Having priorities is very important. From what youve written so far it sounds like youre a motivated powerhouse and your achievements at your age are very impressive i have to say.
It seems like your love life and family is already doing fine, but you dont get a lot of recognition in your workplace. Especcially for men it is very important that there is respect for each other at work.
Im not sure if i understand your position completely but it seems like youre currently in a job that looks like a dead end to you? Do you know any other places you could work at that arent too far away? Working in a "non toxic" environment could be a life goal for you possibly and if you continue writing appilcations you might just get a decent job.
It also sounds like you might be burning out (aka male depression). Since i would rather not diagnose actually important shit online maybe you could try finding a male psychologist/social worker/whatever that you can talkto about your potential problems and aspirations. Im not a big fan of meds either and talking works better quite often imo.(also no side effects kek)
>>35157623
Bratislava.
Not really former, planning to return after I get my degree.
co ty?
>>35157647
Ružomberok. Good luck with your degree. Try going out with your friends more often you'll surely meet grills there.
Godspeed
>>35157499
Hit your lats and back harder. Otherwise go trapmode.
>>35157059
Go running you lazy fuck. I used to spend all day in bed. Up at 4 pm, bed at 6 am. Porn, laptop, movies and repeat. Now, I'm employed full time and workout in gym about 3 or 4x a week and cardio for 2 days with a rest day in between. You can do it but you have to start somewhere.
>>35155887
Personally for me as much as I want friday and saturday, as long as the sun is down.
I don't go out one weekends and I'm at uni so it saves me time from fapping 7 days a week and allows me to feel "recharged" for a week since sunday is my rest day (thanks god).
I do it late because if I do it in the middle of the day I get lazy.
This is coming from someone who usually edges 3 times a day so if I can do it you can too.
If you go out weekends maybe alter it.
>>35155874
I only plan on volunteering for better credentials for grad school. There are no unselfish motives behind me volunteering and there's nothing wrong with that
>>35156817
where can I read actual studies? any website?
>>35159883
Search Alan Aragon and Lyle McDonald
any good advice/videos/books etc on how to stop mumbling and stuttering and start speaking like a normal person instead?
srs
>>35162145
If you want to speak clear, loud and understandable, you have literally speak clear, loud and understandable.
Take some poems or any text and place where you are on your own.
Speak the text loud slow and clear out. More than you even would when speaking to a person.
Train this and apply it to real life.
I wanna get swimming but my local pool has all lanes occupied by slowfags during its lane swimming hours, what do brehs? Should I just go to the gym instead?
>Diagnosed w/ asperger's at 32
>explains failings in almost everything
>want to change
>don't know how or if it's even possible at my age.
I wouldn't even know where to start.
Desperate need for advice guys.
>24 years old
>good job
>gf for 6 years wants to move in together, we have finally both got good jobs ams finishe degrees
>dont want to
>want to break up and meet other girls
Is it too late to re enter the dating pool /fit/?
Are all the nice girls my age taken?
>>35162627
>Are all the nice girls my age taken?
no, definitely not.
try being 30+ like me. it sucks, though even for me there's a pretty large pool of girls online.
How do I even stay focused when there are so many distractions around me?
I only need to do the following
>lift
>eat a lot
>study a lot
>sleep
And I need to do less of
>fapping
>procrastinating
>wasting time on the Internet
But it's so hard brehs... I can't not fap sometimes I'm so weak willed
My lifting is sorted, however my eating could be better
>>35162681
where are you trying to study? the only way I could study was going to the library. sitting at home was a disaster.
>>35162627
if you've been together for 6 years already why fuck it up? I can't tell whether you're considering breaking up because you don't get on well with her or because you have this crazy idea that you should first experience dating other girls but if you do it you might really regret it
>>35162706
I love ger but i dont feel m actively in love with her.
I dont often want to have sex, go on dates, etc. Id often prefer to do other things with other people or alone. Its complicated, i feel the relationship has run its course. But i still care and love for this person deeply.
>>35162724
I would try to live with her first and see what happens.
That feeling is how most relationships happen, after the first years of being crazy IN LOVE and doing all this romantic shit you eventually still love each other but see each other as more best friends or "partners".
Do what feels right senpai, can't hurt to try the living thing first tho.
>>35162705
Yeah maybe I should start going to the library actually. Good idea friend
>>35162744
Good advice man. Thanks.
Its juts im already 24. I feel if i did try moving in im likely to be 25/26 and by then it will be 8 years and too late to reenter the game
>>35156624
>Tai lopez
Shiggy
>>35154437
"SELF IMPROVEMENT IS MASTURBATION"
TYLER DURDEN
>>35162627
no and no. do it
>>35162838
he talks like anyone can go from homeless to "succesful entrepreneur" in a year which is stupid, I agree. but if you forget he's a millionaire from Hollywood and try to apply his advice to real life situations of an average person his videos become priceless. his book recommendations are even better t b h
>>35162825
I know plenty of freshmen in uni dating men in their mid to late 20s.
Statistically their relationships actually last longer and are happier.
Just saying, a social man who is fit can date for quite a while.
>>35156178
>Take a person that comes to mind that is critical to your endeavors, what is their weird factor, 0%-100%? What is your weird factor, 0% to 100%?
Do you mean a role model for my goals? Or a person who you don't want to be like?
>>35155418
thx brother
>>35154437
Great thread OP
>>35154499
>>35155540
I'm very happy for you guys. Just keep at it.
>>35154437
recently read 'power of now'
Ignoring all the meta-physical/spiritual bullshit; I've found it a really good way to focus on changing perspective and improving my thought patterns on a day to day basis.
Being 'present' and not living in old reruns of history or fantasies of tomorrow has made me less anxious, more in control of my mood/mental state
>>35164374
Is there a reason to ignore all the meta physics? I'm on the opposite spectrum, i enjoy reading into it.
