![door-kick-in-home-invasion[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/GMXXzSB.jpg "door-kick-in-home-invasion[1].jpg")
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*CRASH*
That's all it takes for a burglar to break into your house with the intent to rob and kill you. How will your gains save you?
I unholster my firearm and eliminate the threat.
>>35121652
I benchpress in his face with my fists, clean and press him up, squat down, use my hipe drive and throw him through the roof, he ded
>>35121652
You could say that to any one of these boards, (bar /k/) and you'd get the same answer.
Shit post.
Saged.
this is why we should all vote trump for president because 2nd amendment
that way we can just use a gun and not waste our gains on robbers
>>35121674
>Implying Trump won't sell all personal possessions to China immediately after being elected
>>35121652
By helping me hold this sumbitch up and control the recoil long enough to get all my rounds into center mass before he hits the ground.
8 ROUNDS OF FREEDOM
PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
BITCH
>>35121652
my gains are supposed to save me from permavirginity, not burglars
>>35121652
post meme's
>>35121652
>How will your gains save you?
lol, more like
>How can someone with no gains kick in my door?
>>35121652
>throw my creatine monohydrate into his eyes, blinding him temporarily
>slide my foam roller towards him making him trip and fall down
>use my shake-weight to knock him unconscious
>post on latest scooby video and on /fit/ for further instructions
>go back down to check on robber
>realize he escaped
>pick up hairs that fell of off his head due to creatine abuse
>take those to the police station and ask for a dna test
>they run the results through their database and find the thief
![e41[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/t2in8pQ.png "e41[1].png")
>>35121691
"KILL"
"ALL"
"NORMIES"
That's all it takes for a pepe to break into your basement with the intent to take your dank memes. How will your gains save you?
>>35121652
Grab my loaded Glock 17 and turn him inside out.
>>35121669
This is the right answer.
>>35121652
I would run out naked with a boner, clutching a dildo in my right hand and a bottle of industrial grade machine lube in my left.
I would then proceed to lock eyes with the burglar and say in my sexy voice "I've been waiting for you"
Then bum the life out of him.
>>35121745
I bring my gf which I got because of my gains with me. He immediately drops spaghetti and is defenseless.
>>35121728
delete this
This is a blast from past OP
Thanks
>burglar breaking down door
>I tactically open all the gas lines
>after he gets 15 feet into house I light match
>house explodes and take out half the block since I have over 300lbs of black powder stockpiled in the walls in case shit hits the fan
>George Zimmerman sheds one manly tear
do the thing from that one scooby vs ripptoe comic
>ghastly protein fart clouds the entire room
>light match
>look into burglar's eyes defiantly
>"feel the burn"
i don't have a shit wooden door with a single lock
i am safe in my home
>>35121652
*BOOM*
*BOOM*
*CRASH*
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
>>35121652
can´t kill a skeleton like me
the tide has turned...
Joke's on you, I'm homeless
>>35121652
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOPMlIIg_38
>>35121999
genius !!!!!
>>35121652
> 2015
> living in a house
> not having titanium door
do you even lift?
>>35121652
pepper spray him, then I unleash my katana skills and cut him down the middle. Sheath my sword and turn away as the gratuitous blood spray envelopes the room in red. I smirk, tip my sombrero, and i say, "Looks like he couldn't keep it together."
Then I continue to watch SuperNatural on netflix with my mom.
>>35121652
THE SOUND OF MY HEART, THE BEAT GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND
>He'll most likely be black
>blacks are known to have low intelligence
>he'll find my home gym
>will try to steal my barbell
>ends up deadlifting with bad form
>takes a trip to snap city
>I call the police
>>35121652
Jump out of bed and run 5k to the police station faster than the nigger can get in and out of my house. After arrest, tell nigger to read the sticky
By commanding my 2 Belgian shepherds to tear him apart limb from limb while I smoke a cigarette
>>35121652
>having weak glass in the door
>having weak door in general
Amerikeks lmao
Trying kicking the door in an actual developed country, you'll only hurt your leg
>>35124005
I like you.
>>35121673
not true
>burglar breaks into house
>immediately hit by the foulest stench he has ever encountered
>has to restrain himself from vomiting
>curious he turns on his flashlight
>dozens of open 2 liter bottles everywhere
>all filled with urine or ejaculate
>everything is a mess
>in a rush so as to escape the smell the burglar looks through the house trying to find valuables
>every single room is a disaster, the bathroom resembling a scene from a horror movie
>nothing of value to be found
>the only thing that looks to be reasonably cared for is a glass display case filled with scores of figures of japanese cartoon characters
>even some of these appear to be covered in a yellowish crust
>upset at having wasted your time in such a shit hole you try to find the owner
>noise coming from the basement
>open the door and quietly take a few steps down
>smell somehow intensifies
>as if fecal matter procreated with a corpse
>look to see the only functioning light in the house
>its coming from a computer that looks like it is from 1997
>in front of it is a severely obese man
>he is only wearing underwear
>terribly stained underwear
>he is breathing loudly as he hurriedly clicks away at his keyboard
>the only thing the burglar can see on the screen is a crudely drawn frog
>surrounding the man is an assortment of the cheapest, offbrand, junk food available on the market
>death would be too merciful for this man
>burglar leaves the house, reevaluating his life choices
robbing /r9k/ would be a fruitless endeavor
>>35124012
>developed country
>worried about your door being kicked in
>>35121652
>grab the cavalry sabre or the kukri in the spare room on my way to the stairs
or if i'm downstairs for some reason
>creep into the garage and grab one of the hatchets
the blades are heirlooms but they're still fucking vicious, none of this replica shit. burglars in the UK don't have firearms anyway, at most they'll have a crowbar or a knife. maybe if i'd done something to piss off the local gangsters i'd be worried about a guy with a gun, but i haven't so i'm not.
every guy i know with a firearms license has their gun cabinet in their bedroom anyway, for this exact reason
>>35124249
>kukri
>kekri
>kekery
End urself Aussie slime ;^)
>>35121652
i kill him in test rage
All my gains are because I train for boxing
If he comes in through the front, I have time to grab my 12g, my nagant, or my glock 22.
If he tries to jump my fence to come in through the back door my boxer and German Shepherd will have his throat open before he realizes how badly he fucked up.
Grab him by the penis and kiss him on the lips to assert dominance
45lb chrome weight bar to the fucking face
>>35121652
You got it wrong idiot, I exist to save my gains from burglars. They can take my life but never my gains.
I unleash the kinetic chain of energy in his throat
Your burglar should consider doing SS+GOMAD
My art collection is the most valuable thing in the house, and I doubt they could fence it.
What are they going to steal my laptop? wew lad
Someone post the image of "burglar thought he was going to be raped" already.
>>35121652
"hey robber bitch, wanna watch mlp?"
>"kinda"
If dubs, I proceed to lose my virginity
My country has moved on from cardboard doors and plastic walls about 50 years ago, so the best a burglar's gonna get himself with *boom*boom*crash* is a concussion.
>>35121652
Use gains to hold up heavy rifle of PTRS design. Is best idea.
>>35121652
my door is always open. my granfather is the local capobastone so none dare to get in. we are super chill family tho
my house did get broken into
dude didn't know I was home
confronted him and he left
basically said 'what the fuck do you think you're doing, fuck off' and he left lol
>>35121652
Unsheath my katana, teleport behind him and behead him with one swing of my blade, resheath my blade, tip red velvet trillby and say with a smirk "Nothing personnel, kid."
>>35121652
I have a loaded gun next to me. I lift for aesthetics only
