>"Oh, what's that, you're doing lowbar "squats" with 405 lbs, or as we Olympic Weight-Lifting gentlesirs prefer to call them: Good-mornings with 180 kilograms?"
>"It is quite the sight, now please observe as I work up to my one-rep max of a mind-blowing sixty kilograms"
>"Oh no good sir, I am in no way "DYEL", for these are actual full squats"
>"Quite indeed good sir; I not only break parallel, but I also abhor the use of crutches like belts and knee sleeves"
>"By this virtue alone, I am stronger than you, for you see, no mindless cretin "power-lifter" can aspire to lift weight as cumbersome as this with equally flawless technique - You quite simply do not have the mental fortitude, as evidenced by you seeking the path of least resistance with your ridiculous "squats", which barely hit parallel"
>"You have no honor."
>unleashing the kinetic chain
>being this butthurt
>implying it's not the fat autistic neckbeards wanting to do powerlifting
>>35094729
>"You have no honor."
>5 inches is the average penis size. I'm not so small when you consider this bit of knowledge. There is no need to be ashamed.
>implying any of this shit matters for the average fit faggot who isn't competing
>not incorporating oly lifting and heavy low bar squatting and heavy high bar squatting into your program
>picking one style over the other because it is more "honorable"
>meme roller
Lmao I remember a few years ago when the ATG SQUAT was the big lifting fad.
None of the fedoras that hyped it on here or anywhere else had an impressive squat and most people I saw couldn't even keep their back straight.
The ATG fanboys never seemed to realize that the only reason Olympic lifters did it was conditioning for their platform Lifts and that they could squat at that angle easily because they wore special shoes.
>I wear basketball shorts to the gym.
>>35094763
Is this the dank new me me?
I don't like since its talking about we*ners, this is a family friendly board.
>fedora threads
>>35094689
Oh shit I know that kid in the OP image. He went to my high school. They used to call him Van Helsing because he walked around with sword in a cane before a teacher took it away
>>35094689
>I inquire sophisticated memes on a asian knitting forum
>I do rows in place of power cleans. T-they're too dangerous! You need an oly coach who has trained Olympians who have gold medals to properly learn to how perform the power clean correctly!
>I let other people work in with me. I'd probably even let them fuck my wife while I watch if they requested it. I'm definitely not a kek though!
Can one of your fedoralords please shitpost the cold shower one where he says he is going to uninstall the hot water? It makes me kek and I haven't seen it in a while
>You can certainly bulk without losing your abs. Abs are made in the kitchen.
>>35094870
>Malaysian pygmy goat rearing forum
>I saw a Patriots fan yesterday and I just lost it. Fucking smug prick. I was eating an outside lunch at this nice little restaurant, and he was sitting eating some fucking salad. Salad. Typical fucking New England fan. He was there with his stupid New England fan wife who of course was eating a fucking salad too. I could tell he thought he was part of the best fans in football. He didn't say anything, but the way that stupid prick was chewing. Jesus Christ. He had a fucking Patriots t-shirt on. I bet you he bought it at the team store like a fucking schmuck. He and the fucking stupid cashier probably had this big self-satisfactory exchange. "I'd like to buy this best t-shirt in football with the best money in football please. I couldn't fucking believe this asshole. He just kept going at this fucking salad like he's king of the world. I just tried to ignore that attention seeking asshat but he just kept at it. Every time I looked away he'd conveniently grab for his water or some fucking passive aggressive bullshit so that it would draw my eyes to him. LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME BEST FAN IN FOOTBALL RIGHT HERE. Jesus. You should have seen his wife. What a bitch. The waitress came by to ask them how their food was and she relayed how fucking satisfied she was in the most smug way possible. This fucking fake-politeness Patriots fans put on is ridiculous. Next thing I know that guy pulls out his phone and starts texting. Are you fucking shitting me? I bet he just had to text his stupid friend all about his fucking salad was almost as good as being in football heaven. I couldn't fucking take it. I told that fucking idiot what a smug fucking retard he was. He was like dude what are you talking about like he didn't fucking know what a prick he was. I fucking tackled him right there. Staff called the cops on me as if I did anything wrong. They are actually going to fucking put me on trial for assault. Fucking pat fans.
>>35094689
The issue that I have with posts like this is that no one in the real world actually makes arguments like this.
Thanks to the internet we think that this is how people behave, but the fact is that it's not at all accurate.
>Carry along with your foolish isolation exercises and restrictive 'clean' dieting. Perhaps women will be drawn to your defined abdominals and rounded shoulders, but I will attract a much more intelligent, perceptive woman who has a taste for a man who can call upon his body to exert lethal amounts of force as one kinetic chain.
>>35094831
>implying its because of their shoes that oly lifters can squat like they do
Kek
>At the gym Nicky helps me get the heavy dumbells up (we do 60 lb DBs) at the beginning of DB shoulder press. And he maintains contact with my arms the whole time and helps me lock them out. I drop them on the ground and high five my boy Nicky after I finish my set. We run that bitch.
>Gym Bully Threads
After beginning Mark Rippetoe's Starting Strength barbell routine, I have seem to encountered many negative side effects that were not mentioned in the book. Mainly, I discovered what seems to be an inverse correlation between squat strength and the efficiency at which I wipe my anus. Before I started the program it took me approximately 5 strokes (this is a rough estimate seeing how I had not begun keeping track until recently) to sufficiently clean my self after a bowel movement. However, after 9 weeks of SS it takes me an average of 8.25 wipes before my toilet paper returns without fecal matter present. My chief hypothesis is that my glutes have hypertrophied to a size that interferes with an objects ability to enter my rectum. This confuses me because homosexuals seem to find a large bottom desirable, and if my hypothesis is valid then big glutes would actually impede anal intercourse. Nevertheless, I have been forced to experiment with different techniques and entry angles to effectively clean myself. However, I worry about going to deep while wiping in fear of stimulating my prostate, enjoying it, and discovering I am in fact a homosexual. If anyone has encountered this problem and created similar hypothesis I would enjoy hearing them.
>My legs are literally logs, they've been classified as a preserved wonder of nature. When I squat I squat the gym. My legs are so big that it's unhealthy, which incidentally stopped the whole HAES movement. I tried legpressing once, broke the machine after I loaded the whole squatrack onto it. I train legs so hard that Sweden invaded Norway just to stop me, Finland cheered for me. When I frontsquat my quads touch my face. When you look up the word legs in the dictionary I come and steal your dictionary and proceed to use it for box-squats. Your parents divorced because your mother saw my legs. My legs have an absolute hardness of 11 on the Mohs scale. I train legs so hard that I had to steal MC hammers wardrobe. Whenever I squat everyone at the gym just give up and leave, because they’ll never get legs like mine. My squats are so deep that I dent the floor. I train legs so hard that I front squat and back squat at the same time. My legs are so powerful that I can’t get out of chairs like a normal person, I always end up jumping. I train legs so hard that I grew a barbell on my back.
>>35094729
What the fuck is the deal with all of the spotters powerlifters have for the squat? Can't they just drop the weigh if necessary?
>>35095121
(cont'd 2/2) Honestly, the best thing I could have ever done for my love life, personality, and wardrobe was to give up squatting. I could squat five plates, ass-to-grass, with a pause. This was before we had terms for this sort of thing, but alone in that dark basement listening to angry metal and hitting those numbers, I felt like the fedora-tipping Le Narwhal Bacon Squat King of the interwebs, because the first fucking thing I did after the workout was get online and brag about it. I was fat, unhealthy, and had severe gastrointestinal problems due to overeating and GOMAD to fuel the squat growth. I lost a fiancee because of it. I had to buy stupid looking baggy pants. Only later did I realize I need to cut this out. A few years later and I could barely squat 300 lbs. I was a size 31 jeans with a ripped body, and was having three-ways with local college chicks and dizzy cocktail waitresses regularly. As I plowed one from behind while she licked the other girl's asshole, I thought to myself how I could have been doing this before, but instead I chose to endure untold pain in a dingy basement alone and make myself fat just so I could post some meaningless numbers online to impress a few equally pathetic neckbeards. In the gym now, I bench almost double bodyweight but my squat is probably pathetic. And I don't really give a shit. I look so much better now.
>>35095126
What? Nicky is just helping him lock out.
>Apart from my hair falling out, I developed an addiction to creatine. I had to have it. 5g a day or I would feel incomplete. I would typically mix the my 'teen' as I called it with water. It was only until a few weeks ago that I realized how addicted I was to creatine. I completely cut it out of my life entirely. Also on a non-related topic, do any of you guys have any tips for increasing the weight on my squat? I have been stalling lately
>>35095101
>Hey buddy I think you dropped this. I thought I smelled some Disney in my gym.
>>35094959
kek, gets me every time
>Since you're going to do them anyway, we might as well discuss the right way to do curls. Curls are performed to train the biceps, a muscle that commands an inordinate amount of attention from far too many people. But that is the nature of things, and who are we to question so fundamental a matter? Effective curls require an awareness of the biceps anatomy and a willingness to diverge from the conventional wisdom regarding technique.
>"Incomplete" protein
>abs
>protein powder
>>35095067
Fuck you I'm not reading that you sperg. One doesn't simply greentext a whole fucking paragraph.
>Oh my notebook? I'm writing a story. I write in it and read it at the gym. The title: "The Strongest Version of Myself".
I hate these fucking threads. They used to be so good, now they're just walls of text.
>I stare into space between lifts and walk from workout to workout in a trancelike state.
>the set up>>35095315
>Calories in, calories out.
>Dildos in, dildos out.
>I arrange the barbell so that it is perpendicular with or parallel to any surrounding straight lines including breaks in the flooring, ceiling structures, walls. I feel that my lift is unbalanced if not.
>I wipe my ass.
>clips on warmup sets
>warm showers
>>35094729
>Oly lifters? You mean weightlifters?
>>35095440
nooooooooooo that one's always The Press
>I wear compression tights to the gym but my drivers license says I'm a male.
>"don't squat too deep, you'll hurt your legs!"
>"training shoulders and back is for idiots"
>"I don't need to watch my sugar or sodium intake."
>weighted dips
>>35095384
>I lift with weight so light that my working sets don't even require clips, but I put them on anyways
>>35095074
seems like you're too old for 4chan then
or maybe just not autistic enough
>>35095105
Hahahahahaha fuck
>>35094834
>I wear compression shorts to the gym because basketball shorts are for mindless apes
>>35094689
Olympic Weightlifting is a highly feminine "sport"
>hip drive
>>35095746
LOL
Fucking classic
>My shorts don't go past my knees.
>>35095305
>sophisticated satire intimidates me
>>35095105
It's a shame the SS board is moderated
>I seed torrents
>Exercise is not a thing we do to fix a problem - it is a thing we must do anyway, a thing without which there will always be problems
