>mfw farting under the blankets
>mfw lifting them over my head
>mfw it smells like Yellowstone national park
>>34975135
Holy fuck
That's where I know that smell from
Omg
Nice find
>>34975135
Lol was just doing this. Nice
>started making really thick protein shakes with oats in them, has the consistency of mud
>mfw it goes out looking the same as when it came in
>>34975135
This whole protien fart thing is a disgusting meme, it literally mean your body can't properly digest the protien you're ingesting, i would say find a better source for protien as well as up your fiber intake, remember guys 25 grams of fiber per day.
>>34975294
Don't you enjoy the smell of a good sulfuric fart straight from the bowels of hell, anon?
>tfw farting every minute
>tfw farting all the fucking time
>>34975294
>protein turns into gas if your body doesn't use it
>>34975223
If you have shit thats the consistency of wet concrete then something else is wrong with your diet. Oats and protein shakes generally give me nice smooth but fairly dry logs that don't require much wiping.
>>34975514
What is lactose intolerance,
">protein turns into gas if your body doesn't use it"
yes i totally said that
>blast some rancid farts in car
>close door quickly
>go into gym
>come back to car
>stench of farts has sunk deep into the air
>turn on heat and inhale deeply
>>34975626
>>34975356
>>34975223
>>34975166
>>34975158
>>34975135
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ombk1-KPg1s
here you go
>>34975135
>tfw my shits are thick as logs
>tfw they just slide out effortlessly
>tfw my farts are silent but deadly
>wake up
>it's cold in the room
>you feel one coming and warming your ass
>you let out a fiery one
>way warmer
feels good
>tfw you have to fart at public events
pic related
>>34975135
>at gym
>doing leg lifts
>farting every 3 reps
>sit on cupped hand
>rip a disgusting fart
>put hand up to nose and smell it
>>34975135
>tfw only drinking protein powder mixed with 1% milk for breakfast now
>tfw haven't shit in 6 days
>tfw still farting all the time
I was kinda worried until I realized that 1/3 of my meals are liquid now
>>34975785
>tfw forgot face
>>34975785
>tfw haven't shit in 6 days
that's really not ok lad. eat some vegetables.
>>34975785
i dont know why i laughed so hard
>>34975785
plz be real
When you do shit, its going to be an religious experience. Pain, Joy, Agony, Relief.
>Back from Uni
>My cut was started a bit early
>So start up a bulk again, adding 1200 calories to what i was the last few weeks
>Eat all my calories in 4 hour window
>Body gets bloated and gets stomach aches
>Go to toilet several times
>I don't shit, just wet my bunghole whilst letting out resonating farts into the toilet bowl
>My sister starts laughing as she can hear this from her room
>I burst into laughter and more farts
>We laugh for about a minute and a half
>I'm in tears and still ripping out these farts
A few hours later at about 11 pm
>Need to shit/fart/wet asshole again
>Let out a huge fart
>Hear the sound of my phone
>My sister has texted me
>I heard that
>You woke me up.
>Burst into uncontrollable laughter
Unfortunately these farts haven't been as ruthless as they have been in the past. Where they stink up a room, and meld to the seat/pants you're sitting-on/wearing.
>>34976773
>meld to the seat/pants you're sitting-on/wearing.
>>34975135
>Doing some promotion job at local pet stores
>Make contact, act friendly, hand out free samples
>Oh God, here come the protein farts
>Can't socialise and stealth-fart at the same time
>Head over to the aquarium displays to vent some gas and quietly leave the area
>Mfw customers start complaining about the smell
>Mfw store clerks start checking the aquariums for dead fish
I rot inside
>>34975785
>powder for breakfast
>not shit in 6 days
DYEL? GTFO of /fit/ child and stick to your loli threads.
>>34976897
not him, but hey man, fuck off from loli threads
> hike in mountains during summer
> stumble often because I am clumsy
> rip ass frequently because high protein intake on cut
> am nicknamed "tripsNfarts" by group
> make sure to walk in front at all times
> screams of horror and disgust from friends
feelsgudman.jpeg
>>34975900
But I do get some veggies. My shits just always seem to be sensitive to volume of food
>shit
>massive farts every time
I have lost the ability to shit quietly
>>34975135
Reading this and holding in all of my laughter. Face is red and eyes watering from the struggle. Coworkers walk by and ask if I'm ok. I have to play it off that I was just broken up about my recent divorce.
>it's easier to fake crying about a clean divorce than trying to explain laughing about protein farts.
