women & weight
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
Why are women so sensitive (compared to men) when it comes to their weight?
So I got in a serious fight with my fiancee last night. First off, she's in PMS, that is important and, well, I probably should've waited or be more tactic.
I workout 5 days a week, I'm nothing special but I try to give my best, I'm one step above otter mode. Unlike me, she works in shifts, so working out is more difficult for her, not to mention she lacks discipline to begin with.
Anywho, for the last 3 months, a few times a week, I suggested that she should go to the gym (she did plan to go-with her best friend, but dropped that eventually). Last night I directly told her she should shed off some stomach fat and indirectly told her she'll get fat (by my assessment, she's closing the threshold of becoming a chubby; she should lose cca 7kg). Needles to say, she totally flipped out, started yelling, said she knows she gained weight, but how dare I call her fat etc. She was mad as fuck and even threw engagement ring at me and said if I ever mention something like that again it's over between us. Not only that, but this morning, still mad as hell, she told me that now she intentionally won't work out and to go fuck my self.
And now, not only did I hurt her, but I achieved a counter-effect. Fucking hell…
What say you /fit/?
You're young, don't waste your life with a stupid marriage.
Her last point gives you the answer: trash her. She's gaining weight, you propose to solve the problem, but she gets mad. She doesn't care that much about you or being attractive to you. I say leave her, if you get married she'll get even fatter and divorce costs too much.
You can still do it anon. She just wants to hook up with a beta guy to secure her future life.
Honestly if she'd threaten to leave you over that, then what makes you think she isn't gonna leave you or cheat on you when you're married and something starts to not go her way? She lacks commitment, which, is entirely what a marriage is.
Ditch the whale. She's obvs not good wife material if she throws that big of a tantrum over you being concerned about her health. Not to mention the ring she threw at you which means your relationship with her isn't that important in her mind
>>34955060
Dump that fat whale and become a sickcunt, find some woman who appreciates all the work you put into your body and does the same for you.
Stop being with a human that is below your league just for the sake of marriage.
>>34955131
This desu senpai
Also is not something exclusive of woman op, I'm very concerned and insecure about my weight because as a child I used to be ashamed about it by grandma and parents, I still love you anyway abuelita
>>34955060
I've done this before.
talk to her once more and calmly tell her that her health is really important to you.
Make it Crystal Clear. Literally say, "you're very important to me, but I just don't see myself building a solid future with someone who lacks the discipline to do something as simple as being healthy and exercising regularly."
Tell her that you'll help in any way you can, but if she wont do something as easy as going to the gym, then it's over.
Never raise your voice or you'll end up losing your high ground.
>>34955060
If she's willing to break off your engagement just because you pointed out something you are concerned about, then maybe you need to rethink how serious your relationship is.
Also consider how important it is to you for the two of you to stay in shape together. If it isn't alright with you for her to put on weight, maybe you need to find a partner with values more similar to yours.
Of course, it might just be a bad time for her, and jobs don't last forever. Maybe if she changes work schedules she can get in a better routine.
Just some stuff to think about but this sounds like a red flag OP
>>34955131
Yeah, except it's not like that and it's never that easy or black&white.
Besides; 7 years together, I moved to another city for her etc. I love her. And I'm not THAT young, I'm 31. I know I'm young, but still, y'know?
True that I invested time in her and should be weary of certain signs.
I mean, fuck it; wearing the ring doesn't give you permission to neglect yourself...
it's not just about her weight. it's about overall health, longevity, willpower, and willingness to put in effort.
my gf is attractive but could improve a lot physically if she were to get more active. same shit as always: "oh, i'm just so busy. i don't have time. i'll start during break/after the semester/in a few months. i'm not feeling well." all the while i'm at the gym 4/week and she loves my body. i want to imagine that because she appreciates the effort i put into looking good that she would do the same for me but that's not the case apparently. that same sort of reasoning bleeds into our sex life too.
the outburst is childish. willingness to throw away the relationship over an argument is childish. top it all off that you're losing attraction to her? consider your options and evaluate if this is a deal breaker for you.
>>34955195
It's better to date a girl who already lifts rather than trying to change your fiancee which won't work.
She'll see working out as a chore to lose some weight, not as a life-changing hobby.
go to her when her pms is gone, ask her if theres something she wants to apologise about. if she rages dump.
>>34955244
>ask her if theres something she wants to apologise about
kek, you've never dealt with a woman before.
>>34955243
>better
you mean easier. but if you really like the girl then you might as well try.
>>34955195
>>34955212
Anons, I've tried similar things, telling her info on nutrition and diet, asking her to workout with me on several occasions, telling her that it would benefit her on more that one way: she's very tired after work-desk job (lack of exercise) , somewhat easily catches colds (lack of proper nutrition & exercise) etc.
I've tried beating around the bush.
But I made a mistake of telling her directly while she's PMSing. Oh boy, Hell's gate opened.
I think this picture sums it all up
Why the fuck do people sign themselves up for life with someone that doesn't work on themselves?
Jesus fucking christ I swear some peoples lives just end at marriage.
>>34955271
This
Dude, so much this
>>34955221
>7 years together
Sounds like you're too pussy to bail out on Ursula since you're trying to rationalize it to yourself, so why don't you go buy her some eclairs and beg for her to take you back.
Good luck, porkmeister.
>>34955271
clearly youve never asserted your dominance over a woman.
if shes unruly like most women she will flip, then he can proceed with the dump like every sane person suggested. or theres the rare chance shes willing to submit to OP if hes enough of a sikkunt. if shes willing to apologise, then turn into kind and nurturing bf who will take her to the gym and show her the ropes. reward her like the bitch she is, classic conditioning mang.
Break up with her.
When she accuses you of breaking up with her because she gained weight (lel) just calmly explain to her that it isn't the reason you are breaking up with her.
Tell her the reason you are breaking up with her because she threatened to end the relationship and that you believe once one partner does that, it is already over.
Because, well.. It is. If she is using the relationship as some sort of emotional bargaining chip to get what she wants then she obviously thinks she is the power holder in the relationship. She thinks her threatening to take it away from you will force you to act how she wants you to act.
That, and the fact that she obviously doesn't care enough about you to look her best for you. She would rather you unconditionally find her physically attractive no matter what she looks like. Rather than trying to actually be good looking enough to be with you.
Sorry anon. But you have no choice now. It will only get worse from here.
Just focus on getting thick,solid,tight for summer 2016 and see what better fish you can catch. This is an opportunity you should not let pass you by.
>>34955271
It's clear that you haven't. Internet can lie, bro.
>>34955345
This. Take it from someone who didn't do this. Once she threatens to leave you to get her way it's all downhill from there. She doesn't respect you or value your relationship as much as you do, and she absolutely never will. No amount of love will ever change that.
You say you're 31. Now imagine trying to hold on for another fee years, but it falls apart because she doesn't respect you and you finally get fed up with it. Then you'll be even older.
>>34955305
Then dump her.
It looks like you have your mind made up, and you're only here to validate your decision.
So there you go.
Yeah, i was with you until the part about throwing your engagement ring. Sriously, this sounds like the start of an abusive relationship. She is gonna balloon up after you marry her and by that point is gonna cost you half your net worth to get rid of her. Man if my girl even disrespected our relationship like that i would kick her to the curb no questions asked.
So unless she comes to YOU with an apology for overrating, or if this is a common occurrence. GET THE FUCK OUT
Your lady sounds kinda lazy imo. I've been on the other side of the fence. My bf told me I was too underweight/skinny. I was upset yeah, but I told him I would go to the gym and start eating healthy. And you know what? I did.
Of course I find out he's cheating on me a month later and leaves me for another. I'm still going to the gym though for about 4 months now so I guess it's helpful in the long run anyway. It was a nice wake up call.
ITT
People telling OP to "ditch the bitch" at the first sign of trouble.
Raise your hands, who here was or is in the same situation as he? Long term relationship 5+ years, engaged or married?
They're sensitive about their weight because they know they caused it. It's a direct representation of the effort they've put into becoming a better person. When men fuck up, they'll usually own up to it. Less so now than in the past. When women fuck up, they'll usually find somebody else to point the finger at. I have seen several women make mistakes and then point the finger at somebody else.
>>34955430
Hamplanet detected
Saying "Tell me I'm overweight again and I'll leave you!" is a HUGE red flag. OP needs to resolve this immediately or jump ship; it's never gonna get better on its own
>>34955409
I'm not trying to dump her, I'm looking for a serious advice on how to make her work out.
>>34955424
Sheeeiiiitttt. You'll find a man for you. Keep up the good work
>>34955060
Now is your perfect chance. Call off the wedding. Irreconcilable differences. Consider yourself lucky. I married this type of nutcase.
>>34955430
I was in a 6 year relationship almost got married. I agree with the people that say leave her. Once a woman threatens to leave it means she's thought about it before more than once. She's a time bomb now and no one knows when shell blow
>>34955060
HIGH TEST
>I
G
>H
T
>E
S
>T
>>34955430
Sunken cost fallacy m8
He's not even married yet. I've seen people move on from 10+ year relationships and divorces
>>34955438
It's like this pic >>34955305
>>34955430
If she's refusing to do this to make him happy, then it's only downhill from here. He should talk it out with her, but it sounds like they don't want the same thing out of their relationship, and that can lead to a lot of issues down the road.
>>34955464
bruh, speak about her health/weight again in a week or so. don't attack her but be firm about how important it is to you. if she won't budge or throws a fit again then you really need to consider your future with someone like this.
>>34955464
As much as you would like to believe otherwise, the only one that can truly make her work out is her.
She's using your marriage as leverage against you and getting fat out of spite towards you trying to enable her to improve as a person.
Do you think these problems will disappear when you get married?
They're going to magnify, if she uses threats of breaking the relationship to get what she wants and you let her win it won't stop there, she'll go to it for every disagreement.
Why are you asking for marriage advice on 4chan?
>>34955488
Pretty much.This idea that women have that genetics determine your body is killing them. They think that they can't change, so the man must accept them as they are. Except they can change, they're just choosing not to, and it's going to create a generation of unhappy husbands who are no longer attracted to their wives.
>>34955060
I have a pretty low standard for shitty behavior and argument in a relationship, so I'd take this as a big red flag.
Every 'big kid' problem that you'll have to face will be a team effort between you and your future wife. Do you really want to tackle a $500 000 mortgage and raise a family alongside a woman who holds the relationship hostage for shit like this? I don't buy the period excuse; you don't get to act like a child for a quarter of every month because your pussy's leaking.
>>34955521
Yeah, that's a mistake
The last comment she made was dumb, not sure out of sheer anger or just she is childish.
Since you don't seem to want to dump her you gotta kinda push her in the right direction. First thing you gotta do is apologize- yeah I know you'll lose the dominance but it'll get you what you want.
Then discuss about her health and make up some bs story about how a colleague around her weight and build just got diagnosed with diabetes or something. Tell her you fear for her health cause of this.
Then do the whole supportive bullshit. Take her to the gym, train her to lift, and mould her into a healthier person. Her defensiveness makes me think she knows she is fat she just doesn't want the dude who's cock she sucks to say it.
Good luck mate
>>34955559
This. Tell her to grow the fuck up. It's you and your wife versus the rest of the world someday. Pick a partner that'll be helpful, not detrimental.
>>34955586
do not do this, she is not a child, she is someone you are planning to marry
OP here, not to mention, she isn't speaking with me since last night.
>>34955424
The gym and new habits will definetely help you find someone even better.
Honestly, I have to agree with Ditch the bitch. Spent 4 years with my ex. A lot of the same behaviors OP is experiencing, threated me with break ups and taking breaks n what not. Guess what, first time in the 4 years I threatened to dump her cause her behavior - and the next day we did. It was at that moment she lost dominance in the relationship. She no longer had a puppet and guess what. I lost 60 lbs and realized how much stress our relationship had. In turn I banged big tittied bitches her itty bitties could never satisfy. Always other fish in the sea. Our relationship was emotionally damaging because of her own insecurities. Demanded I eat healthy and then ask me take her out for fast food.
Ditch the bitch!
>>34955596
The quints of truth
>>34955586
I did apologized, several times, even bought her a cactus (she loves those).
The thing is, I asked her on several occasions to work out with me (I work out at home) but she always gave me "I dislike weight lifting, I'm more up for aerobic and stuff like that" excuse.
>OP asks for advice
>/fit/ gives advice
>OP ignores advice
what is the point of this thread?
More of a woman's value is tied to her looks than a man's is. That's why they're more sensitive about such things.
>>34955559
Honestly this. Why do people keep getting married when either one or both people in the relationship are absolute babies?
>"I can't have an honest conversation or argument with this person, better get married and spend the rest of my life with this, what could go wrong"
Real good stuff right here.
>>34955430
m8 if you can't talk to you girlfriend/fiancée/wife about something as silly as her weight without her flipping her shit and threatening to leave you, there's something very, very wrong.
Been together with my gf for 4 years now and we can talk about anything. Granted, my gf is far more rational than most girls but being able to communicate is one of the fundamentals in a relationship, don't ya think?
>>34955683
Explains the divorce rate.
>>34955557
Kek
>>34955559
Nail on the head lad
>>34955060
The vast majority of women are extremely insecure, and are far more insecure than they will ever let on. When you suggest working out, or mention that she is gaining weight, she doesn't hear a sincere expression of concern or a reasonable suggestion of mutually beneficial self-improvement.
In her mind all she hears is: "You're fat. You don't try at all. I want you to have to try. You're also fat." The issue is, that if she IS fat, she already tells her this sort of thing like 100 times a day in her head.
So you're just reminding her of her short comings, short comings that she's been playing in her head all day that she just wants to shut up.
It's like if you had a song stuck in your head all day that you can't stand and you feel like you're about to kill yourself, and then your girlfriend came up to you, started singing said song loudly and out of tune, and then also said "By the way you're a faggot, and you have a tiny dick."
>>34955771
Why would you want a relationship with such a woman? There are so many of them that aren't fucked in the head like that.
>>34955817
I agree completely, anon.
I'm just answering OPs question
>>34955060
>She was mad as fuck and even threw engagement ring at me and said if I ever mention something like that again it's over between us.
Time to call her bluff man, keep the ring and say it's over.
>she told me that now she intentionally won't work out
lol, nice, now it's your fault. absolves herself of any responsibility.
Seriously, man, she's acting all pissed off and self-righteous and will continue to push it unless you call her bluff and actually leave her at which point she'll either panic/apologize/promise to change or let you go, in which case you won't be stuck married to a girl who will inevitably turn into a fat cow.
>>34955060
if your fiance gives you ultimatums and tells you to go fuck yourself then i'd find someone else. everyone is so desperate to make relationships work. she's just one girl you happened to stick with. she's not special. there's 3.5 billion women in the planet. find a new one.
>>34955060
Dude, women are not themselves when PMSing. Just wait for another week and talk about it again.
>>34955221
just because you spent x time with someone doesn't mean you should keep going. relationships take effort and if both people aren't putting in effort then you need to rethink what's going on. I've been with my wife almost 8 years now and she puts in as much effort as i do into our marriage. you don't have to bail out over an argument but it is a sign of things to come
>lacks discipline
I'm gonna save you a lifetime of suffering op. Break up now while she's only your fiance and the most damage she'll do is take the ring and tell all your friends you're a dog.
She has to want to lose weight for herself. She doesn't which means she'll only get fat. On top of this, women don't even need to do much to stay in the standard of beauty. Just don't be a cow. She doesn't have to think about abs and biceps and pecs and height and muscle insertions. Just don't be fat by eating less and MAYBE exercise to speed it up.
She's a lost cause mate. Break it off before you're contractually obligated to give her half your things and pay child support on the kids and strokes out of you.
look for a woman that has enough self-respect to workout for herself. you make a very bad catch if you have to teach her something so essential.
>>34955195
>as simple as
Calling it now that she claims it's hard because she's a woman and blah blah. She'll try for a week while sneaking junk then complain that it didn't work because of her genetics.
Yeah, the thing is most of us (women) are sensitive when it comes to weight talk.. We usually don't take it as a genuine concern or advice, we take it as "OMG he just called me fat".
I had a similar problem with my boyfriend. My reaction wasn't as extreme as hers but it was also pretty bad. I took it as him calling me ugly, not as him trying to help me. What got me moving and saved the problem was that he sat down with me again and told me to just give him 20min to explain and be quiet in the meanwhile. He told me that it was not about him not finding me attractive, but it was about him wanting me to feel better (since he could tell i didn't feel good in my own skin), about me being healthy and about us doing things together. He said he was willing to help me any way i needed to to make me feel more comfortable about going to the gym and was also willing to look up things i could do to make this more fun for me.
That sort of put things in perspective and I actually listened. I started going to the gym with him and at first it was super uncomfortable for me. You have to realise that women feel super insecure about going to the gym when they first start out. So you will need to put some effort into making her feel as comfortable as possible.
Well i ended up loving the gym and in the past 5 months have changed my attitude and my body completely. Good luck:)
>>34955771
>women are insane
That's all I'm getting from this.
>>34955060
It sounds like there's problems here that go deeper than the weight issue. Basically this girl doesn't respect you or care about your opinion and she hopes to use emotional abuse and threats of leaving to keep you in line. I'd say postpone this wedding at the least.
>>34955162
This tbqh senpai
Don't break up with her yet OP. Feed her fatty foods and ugly her up. Then cheat on her. And finally, find someone to replace her. You don't leave a job before finding a new one do you?
My experience is that getting a women who doesn't exercise often to do so more often requires you going with them to the gym or working out together.
Issue is real life can fuck this up like in your situation. Also women in general seem to do better with "positive" criticism when men tend to react better to more direct criticism. So maybe try to word it better, and use incentives like date nights or shit.
Or pick up something you don't like to do that she does in return she has to do the same.
>>34955915
Men are not themselves when they're drunk. Is it a valid excuse for being a shitty person while being drunk? You always can stop yourself for saying shitty things, no matter what state of mind you are, methinks.
>>34955638
Wow, you fucking apologized?! Look coming from someone who was in a 7 year relationship with someone who sounds exactly like your girl. And now I'm divorced and in a happy relationship with my current girl for a year now.
You fucked up by apoligizing and now she thinks she has power over you which means she doesn't respect you and will only get worse. She won't work out, no matter what you fucking say or do. If you marry her, it will be the worst mistake you've ever made and will regret it in the future. She might even end up cheating on you and get fatter because AGAIN she doesn't respect you.
You might be scared of leaving because of the investment you made, I know how you feel because I went through that, but leaving her was the best decision I ever made in my life and you will find someone. Shit I found my current girl within a couple months.
So stop being a beta faggot and ducking dump her. Man the fuck up and leave her ass. I promise you. In a couple months maybe even weeks you will realize that you made the right choice and be much happier than you are now.
She sounds like a child. I had the same problem with my ex, she started putting on weight and it was my fault when I pointed it out. Then she bitched all the time when I didn't want to fuck her as much as I used to and started leading thirsty betas on in an attempt to make me jealous/herself feel desirable. I would postpone your wedding at the very least OP. That shit is a liability. You want to tie your finances and your potential children to somebody like that? Take a step back imo. I know it's hard, it took me way too long to break up with mine because I still loved her a lot.
>>34955887
It's not that easy to call that bluff-I moved to another city for her and am currently employed. We're living together in her house, I'm at serious disadvantage
>now it's your fault. absolves herself of any responsibility
fucking true, thanks man
>>34955981
If the eight gain and laziness continue 'till wedding (cca a year from now) I'm done with her
>>34956126
>requires you going with them to the gym or working out together.
>better with "positive" criticism when men tend to react better to more direct criticism
>use incentives like date nights
Why do they have to make it so difficult? Can't they just do what's obviously the best thing?
>tfw not gay
>>34955060
>engaged
>already getting fat
lel
how can people that are so concerned about their weight be fat?
i don't get it
>>34956334
>If the eight gain and laziness continue 'till wedding (cca a year from now) I'm done with her
Spoiler alert: They will
At least next time if she throws the ring at you, keep it so you can sell it for money. I doubt you're getting it back after dumping her.
>>34956039
Thanks, like I said, I asked her quite a few times to work out with me, at home, but she "doesn't like weight lifting"
I mean, what the fuck?
>>34955131
This. It almost happened to me so I broke it off. She started gaining weight FAST near the end.
>>34956371
This. If she throws it back at you, it no longer counts as a gift so you can rightfully sell it. Maybe record it somehow in case she tries to claim you stole it.
>she gets angry and tosses the ring at you
>leave the house
>text and ask "do you not want the ring anymore"
Basically get her to admit in writing that she willingly gave it away.
Move on with your life. There are 4 billion women on the planet. You could fill a small city with the ones that meet even your most ludicrous standards.
>7kg
Tell that whale it's over
>>34955430
7 year relationship. She said idk if it'll work out when I laughed at some sick 4 Chen post and I said ok bye
get rid of the fatty
>>34955221
No no nonono nigger, YOU didn't invest shit. SHE did. Its her ifucking funeral. She;s getting old and fat, so she sure as fuck should keep in shape to keep you around, at least as long as it takes to enslave you with the threat of alimony and divorce rape.
The fact that she doesn't even bother to try means she has less respect for you than she would for a dog. If you don't dumpher, you're a dumbass.
>>34955424
My god what a pathetic piece of shit he was
Into the trash she goes
>>34955600
Is she 12? Wait no. I talk to my cousins who are this age about this shit and they are way more mature
>>34955162
All of my this. Say this to her and then leave her.
>>34955271
I hate this meme. Women act like they think they should based off tv shows and other forms of media.
Attitude is not necessary ever and if a person cant handle herself on pms then she should just junp off a bridge.
>>34955424
baby thinking about your hurtin makes me hurt
>>34955915
>>34955060
>>34955305
Absolutely not true, many women act like pms is the big shit and a bloody vagina gives them the right to act like nasty poochies. They KNOW they're overreacting or doing wrong, but they just don't care because they have an excuse.
source: I have a vagina and 4 sisters.
quads get
>>34956696
Way OFF. Fuck you
>>34955343
>reward her like the bitch she is, classic conditioning mang
kek
does anyone else get off on doing shit like this? i made a gf quit smoking once and felt like a baws. another gf i told to stop drinking so much and she did it.
funny thing is that once they gave in and did what i told them all the time i lost interest in them completely.
am i sick brehs?
>>34956688
Fucking this, my ex-fiance was the fucking master of that crap. She even agreed with me on that point, but still fucking did it. I ended up dumping her ass and taing back the muthafucking ring, cause I'm a cheap bastard towards crazy dumb bitches.
A week later she was riding some other guys cock, so I know I dodged a bullet there. MArriage is for retards.
>>34956745
Double dubs confirm. Witnessed and checked
>>34955060
That's not your fiancee OP, that's the future recipient of your alimony checks.
>>3495635
Most inexperienced people need guidance in support. If you look at health and fitness as a lifestyle you need to place rewards down the path of learning.
Eventually the true rewards of living healthily will be imprinted on her.
This works in almost every facet of life, especially in early childcare. Treats are given for acting good, but over time most children learn that acting good has its own merits outside of external rewards, like respect from others.
Or in prison where acting well is rewarded with shorter sentences and more privileges, the aim is to get them to act good outside of prison.
I could make examples all day.
TLDR; people respond to rewards, but overtime they will most likely see the merits of a healthy lifestyle without needing external reward.
Th
>>34955305
Women do not respond to logic they are emotionally driven and fickle depending on hormonal fluctuations and must be treated like children...dumb children
>>34956688
>>34956767
checked
>>34956736
Bettering people and moving on... sick? I'd say you're basically Jesus
That's a bad sign.
If women are invested in you they don't act like that when you offer advice that they're sensitive to.
Give up before it gets ugly anon.
Give up now.
>>34955060
>She was mad as fuck and even threw engagement ring at me and said if I ever mention something like that again it's over between us
sounds like a good catch you should marry her
christ how do adults manage to be such babies
>>34956837
Women are humans like you and me. if their upbringing was bad they're most likely end up as entitled little shits. It applys to guys too.
>>34956989
Beats me
>>34955060
Brother... a fiancee throwing a ring at you, threatening you against bringing up a certain topic, disrespecting your wishes, and telling you to go fuck yourself is grounds to call off the engagement.
A few critical tips regarding the next few years of your life:
• Don't go through with the marriage because you don't want to admit to your family and friends that you made a mistake. Just admit to yourself that it wouldn't be appropriate to spend the rest of your life with this woman and start to make moves.
• Don't try to demonize her when you break it off. Just say the two of you clearly don't see eye to eye and it isn't going to work out. Ultimately, the problem isn't that she's getting fat, it's that she doesn't have an appropriate way of dealing with conflict. This will doubtlessly come up again, perhaps with less vitriol, but still.
• She'll try to apologize and say she'll make changes and stuff. Say that's all great but that you'd still like to call off the wedding. Ask her to move out and cut off the sex (if you two were cohabitants). This will allow you to clear your mind and assess if she's really making changes/worth it.
Hope this helps.
ITT we see the real reason Western civilization will one day collapse like a fucking dead star...
Spoiled vagina madness.
Go gay my brahs. While you still can.
>>34955060
Girl is OPs pick cute as fuck, would snuggle
>>34955060
>So I got in a serious fight with my fiancee
>fiancee
^^First mistake
>First off, she's in PMS, that is important
If she can't control herself dump her. When I'm in a bad mood I still don't lose my shit at people for no reason.
>she lacks discipline to begin with
dump
>she should lose cca 7kg
She's fat, not on the threshold. And not 'chubby'
>she knows she gained weight, but how dare I call her fat
This is where you tell her to fuck off
>threw engagement ring at me and said if I ever mention something like that again it's over between us.
Dump her
>she told me that now she intentionally won't work out and to go fuck my self.
Dump
>>34955638
No fucking way you apologized after doing nothing wrong, holy shit you must be like the lowest tier of the betas or something.
>>34957116
op listen to this man
>>34955060
Lol go ahead and ruin your life with a fat woman who takes herself too seriously and yet not serious enough
>>34955638
WHAT THE FUCK
WHAT THE FUCK
APOLOGIZING FOR FUCKING NOTHING IT WASNT EVEN YOUR MISTAKE WHAT THE ACTUCAL FUASDFJSÖDFJSDFSÄFJ GODDAMNIT YOU FUCKING BETA
APOLOGIZING RUINED EVERYHTING AND EVERY SLIGHT CHANCE OF SUCCESS
>>34955638
PLS FORGIVE ME HERE I EVEN BOUGHT YOU A CACTUS :)
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIDIDIEDIEDIEDIE
>>34956334
Just let her get fat then while you fool around with Staceys on the side. It sounds like you guys have different work schedules, so this leaves you with plenty of opportunity to cheat on that roastie in her own house
>>34957130
>>34957161
>>34957170
I understand why you would think that, but it wasn't "beta-style" , it was merely extending the peace offer first. The fact she didn't accept that is another matter and the fact she's giving me the silent treatment is again another.
This childish shit is just plain stupid.
Kali Yuga
You know, it takes strength to swallow your pride, not weakness. I would be easy as fuck to act like her and throw back a tantrum. I'm better than that.
>>34957265
The fuck man??
I'd never do that, you break up like a man, you don't fuck behind her back in her own house.
That's some reincarnated-as-a-maggot tier of bad karma
neat, a nice thread to post this in!!1
>>34957299
I completely agree with them. It is the current year, after all.
>>34957273
> I'm better than that.
Then leave her you fucking idiot, you are not an enlightened being because you aplogised for doing nothing wrong, you are a moron spoiling the attitude of a woman who doesn's respect you at all, post ater post I realize that you deserve her.
>>34957273
>I'm better than that.
Weird thing to say considering you have literally zero self-respect
>>34955221
>31
So? You have until 40ish before you're fucked and you are still valuable to society up until 51 at which point your done for. Even then focus your career and just be a guy in their 40's fucking rolling in who cash pick who they want as at that point every 29+ woman is gagging for stability and will do anything to bag you.
Women are worthless to society past 32 if they haven't established their career and / or had kids. Why? The entire fucking media/health/clothing/anything industry is practically geared around 13-30 year old women. At that age pregnancy becomes a legit health issue because of the strain on the body. Even other women at this point start to turn on unmarried childless women because they abandon them socially - you know to tend to their families and progress their careers whilst most men won't settle down with a single woman aged 32+ because a) Chances are they won't have their own kids with them and b) It's a massive financial burden to take on.
Sorry OP but your wife-to-be sounds like a divorce in 5 years. Saying "I won't do anything about it" is her exerting control over you by dictating that you have to be attracted to her 'just because' you should really evaluate the relation ship and see if she tries exerting similar control on your life (what you can and can't do) as well as your spending.
I told my GF that I was worried because we were both gaining weight and it could really start to impact us in the long run, luckily she listened and we eat healthier and train 3 times a week at our respective gyms (mine at work, her at university). She's also taken up running and she and I are doing events like Wolf-Runs etc. It's help us socially, emotionally and physically. Had we continued to get fat together? Like fuck we'd be happy.
>>34957273
>it was merely extending the peace offer first
More like extending your balls on a plate. By apologizing you admit that you were wrong and she was right. It sets a precedent that this sort of behavior is acceptable.
>You know, it takes strength to swallow your pride, not weakness
What the fuck does this even mean? Pride in what? I'm honestly starting to think you've been brainwashed by your girl.
OP you shouldn't breakup with her, you should breakup with yourself.. aka kill yourself. because you've already lost life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DggAXSv53Qc
this video will help you OP.
Femanon who lifts/does cardio on the reg. I wish I could say you've got hope left op, but my female friends who didn't stick with working out (all of them) are lost causes. They'll bitch about my diet and workout routine and then get pissy if I ask if they'd want to come with. Women are sensitive as it is, but during pms it's a shitshow. If she really makes you happy I'd love to think you'd move past her physical appeal but fuck, if I was in your position I wouldn't.
Best advice: wait till she's post-pms and sit down and have a calm conversation with her about it. Emphasize how you want her to be healthy. If you mention weight loss you're gonna be fucked, so keep quiet about that with the knowledge that if she commits she'll lose weight anyways.
>>34955173
Not that I don't agree with all you said but the 'concerned about her health' argument always bothers me. Of course it's one of the reasons she, or any women for that matter, should watch her weight but you should be honest that the main reason is that you have someone attractive to stick your dick in. Which is a completely legit argument if you take care of your self as well.
>>34955060
grill here, dump that bitch and find yourself a girl who is always down to improve herself
>>34955060
I see monthly alimony payments in your immediate future.
shes already getting fat and you aren't even married yet? And she is acting like this? you are crazy, why the hell would you want to get married to a beast like this, or get married at all in this day and age?
Call her bluff and say okay, engagement is off. She will come running to you and apologizing and will promise to do anything you ask her to at that point. Works every time whenever a woman gives you an ultimatum, turn it around and give her one right back.
>>34955326
the funny black man is right.
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into.
Holy shit man if you cant see the NUMEROUS red flags in how shes acting youre a moron who deserves this treatment.
>7 years and engaged and she acts like this
Youre too much of a pussy to walk away from a fat, controlling cunt.
The only answer is to bail and find someone better you tremendous faggot.
>>34956373
There's actually nothing wrong with disliking weightlifting; there are far more perks to it for a man than a women. My girlfriend has asked me to go to salsa with her but I have no interest in it, despite there being clear perks (increased balance, learning rhythm, a fun form of exercise, time spent together etc.) You can't force someone to have the same interests as you, which may be a bigger part of relationships for you than you actually realise.
Dump her
>>34957417
>>34957465
Maybe you're right.
I just tried talking to her, saying she's acting as I offered her heroin on multiple occasions and not to work out with me.
Her reaction?
She doesn't listen, like a broken record, she repeats same shit about me butchering her brain with my constant "nagging" about exercising.
I swear to god, if I win lottery-which I play regularly-I'll give her 10% and leave
>>34957481
thanks man
>>34957551
>>34957556
lol
>>34957739
Nice! Would bang. No offense
>>34958327
*as if I offered her H
>>34958327
Why 10% , the fuck is wrong with you??-you may ask.
I owe her that much. I wont go into details atm
>>34956924
Thanks for acknowledging flimflam, I didn't want to be the one to have to say it.
>Date standard issue thundercunt child-woman
>Maybe I should submit to her abusive behavior
>Man up and give her money n rings too
This is what North America actually believes
As with every post like this ever, he will ignore all the advice given here, get married, fuck up his life, have kids and then get divorced and 5 years from now realize "damn I should've listened"
Move along everyone, nothing to see here.
>>34955638
Top lel
OP why would you be such a pussy?
>>34957052
>Women are humans like you and me.
Lel
OP here, thanks for all the advice. To some I'll adhere, to some not. I'm not gonna break the engagements, but I'll be on the lookout
Over & out
>>34955060
10/10 female reaction.
I'm married with two kids, im 8 years into this life sentence.
Stay single until you meet a girl you actually can work out with and I promise you'll have a long,happy productive life.
My cowife stopped trying as soon as we said I do and I'm still going. Now i cant talk to women without it being a major fucking deal.
>>34958894
>disappointingly ironic picture
>>34958894
Hahaha have a nice life.
>>34955060
Talk to her and tell her how you feel about what she does. That way she.ll feel guilty and think she's a horrible person and try to be better.
But her first answer is something you should worry about. Who the fuck acts like an emotionally neglected child in his mid 20s?..
>>34955345
This.
>>34955060
The only reason I don't see the point of telling people point-blank that they need to lose weight is because they'll never stick with it if they aren't self-motivated.
And they probably already know that they're fat, anyway.
>>34958894
Yeah youre basically fucked man
>>34955638
I'm so fucking mad right now OP.
stop being a fucking bitch. take your balls out of her purse and LEAVE
>>34955060
I assume you love her, but from a purely cold, logical standpoint, she's going to get fat at some point. she needs to lose 7kg now, in 5 years it will be 27kg.
the fact that she gets so pissy over it is a red flag, she's insecure about it but too lazy to do anything about it.
>>34958380
Why 10%? The fuck is wrong with you?? Give her 5% and leave the humanity behind.
>>34958894
Another one bites the dust guys.
>>34955060
Op, you're retarded.
You were given good advice itt.... Don't have children, at least think of what broken humans they'll be from parents like your beta ass and child mom.
>>34955060
LOW TEST BETA DETECTED
>threw engagement ring at me and said if I ever mention something like that again it's over between us
I'd say that's a major red flag and you should probably end the relationship.
She sounds like she's not very committed to you if she's willing to throw away the relationship on something so stupid.
Also, both partners in a relationship need to give 100% in order for it to work out. It sounds like she's not willing to do anything that you would like her to.
My husband told me if I ever get fat he'd leave me, which is perfectly reasonable. I wouldn't be the same attractive person that he first met.
I gained some weight when I lived in Texas a year and a half ago, and I lost all of it plus a bit extra just from not eating like a fucking pig. (Several small meals throughout the day)
It really wasn't that hard.
>tl;dr: Dump that bitch OP, it sounds like she's not committed to you or the relationship.
>>34955060
Prenup.
/thread
>>34959327
^ thisx10
>>34955221
I see this logic and it's actually prevalent in many facets of human life. Example being in the gambling world when you're already down an X amount of money. You'd hear inexperienced and illogical people say "I'm already X money down, i can probably go a few more rounds, I've come this far.." Instead of cutting their losses immediately in hopes of salvaging what's left(btw every one of these types of people ends up losing regrettable amounts of money and are in worse shape than when they could've stopped). Now let me ask you something. You've lost 8 years, do you want to lose more? Do you want to lose all that money in a messy vindictive divorce that we all know you'd get literally fucked in? Don't be a degenerate gambler who can't cut his losses because his perception of "in too deep" is irrational... Don't be a fucking idiot
Honestly ignore the r/relationships tier advice itt (inb4 redditor).
What you need to do is wait til she has calmed down then approach her and tell her there is a talk you guys need to have. There are two issues that the two of you clearly need to sort out after reading this, the first is that you care for her and want her to be healthy. You need to be able to communicate that without getting your dick bitten off, as is your role as her partner. You need to address this with her so she properly understands the way she acted unfairly towards you. The second issue is that if she is using the continuation as leverage or a threat, its obvious the relationship isn't as important to her as it is to you. If she would throw it all away over something stupid like that then how do you expect to live with her for the rest of your life. Imo you need to talk with her about how much it all really means to her, and if she admits she was just on edge and overreacting you need to make it clear that its not okay to ever use your entire relationship as a petty threat. Basically sit down and have some rational discourse with her about what went down and the nature of your relationship, but be sure to make it clear you won't stand for anymore shit like this. You're a man not her plaything to be emotionally bullied into compliance.
Oh and if I didn't make it clear you should initially be apologetic about upsetting her feelings (note not about what you said cause its true) in order to set it right before you launch into the discussion
>>34955638
No wonder she held the relationship hostage over something as silly as her weight. Because you're a total fucking bitch and she has all the power. Oh man, I actually thought some of this advice would hit you, you're too far gone. Enjoy your divorce in a few years when she takes everything, loser.
>>34955188
> find some woman who appreciates all the work you put into your body and does the same for you
in other words, find a nice manlet boyfriend here on /fit/
>>34955231
>my gf is attractive but could improve a lot physically if she were to get more active
that made me realize that in 4 years of relationship I got my gf to me more disciplined with her diet than myself and she is now on SL and loving it
we're all gonna make it brah
>>34956058
Not that anon, but he has a point. They're not insane. Very few of them are actually fucked in the head. They are however, extremely insecure. It's a shitty generalization, but it's true. What separates the good women from the bad is their ability to overcome their insecurities.
Genuinely confident women are rare.
Fake it til you make it women aren't as good but they are more common, and still great.
I'm insecure, but I'll change for the sake of the relationship women are okay.
I need affirmation women are bad. OP, please reflect on the other aspects of you relationship. Which type of woman is your fiance? Not going to the gym is a huge red flag man.
>>34955195
>but I just don't see myself building a solid future with someone who lacks the discipline to do something as simple as being healthy and exercising regularly
Being condescending to your lover
Nice
Romantic
>>34959555
nice post
>>34955195
this
say shit like you are still beautiful, and you will always be beautiful, but it would be better for us for both of us to be healthy together
and say she isn't even fat, she is just really close to becoming one, and even then, she won't be that fat, just slightly chubby, which is ok, but it is better for her to avoid that, since it is easier now, shit like that
>>34955060
Well women are judged more on their appearance, it can be a bigger issue. Also the severity of the PMS varies wildly from woman to woman.
It sounds like it was something she's already painfully aware of and it's a "sore spot" but for one reason or another she hasn't gotten around to doing anything about it. However, this guilt and the knowledge that she should do more and should stop the weight-gain probably gnaws at her, fueled further by the fact that you manage to work out 5 times a week and stay in shape. And then when the man she loves (I hope) actually points out that babe you're turning not-hot (something she's probably, again, already aware and afraid of) it can be a really hurtful remark. Especially if it's phrased harshly, sounding like an order or a demand.
I'd chalk a lot of that up to the PMS. Maybe talk about it, don't back down on the "you need to lose weight" but sugarcoat the hell out of it, apologise for the blunt phrasing if you must but not the sentiment itself, claim you're only interested in her well-being and happiness and besides she herself has said that she "should" start dieting and exercising (I hope she has) so you were just trying to give her a push you thought she needed yada yada I did it out of love, something like that. Then try to have a general discussion about her attitudes to weight and discussing it in a relationship and how she feels is a proper way to bring things up etc.
Do this talk when she's not PMSing.
But, if she's completely unable to admit she overreacted a bit, apologise even vaguely for the tantrum and admit she should lose weight, re-assess your relationship with her.
In general, touchy subjects that are already a big source of guilt and self-loathing should be approached carefully and with tact, since they can trigger a FUCK YOU YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT defense response. A better approach would be to pose them questions and get them to say "I need to do x" themselves first.
>>34955274
>you mean easier. but if you really like the girl then you might as well try.
He's right though.
I've been dating the same chick for the last 8-9 years.
In that entire time I've never convinced her to lift with me.
And it's not because she doesn't want to be healthier, or wants to lose weight and look good. It's because she sees it as a chore to do when instead she could just eat a little less and sit on the couch all night after work.
I gave up trying to get her in the gym and I either say shit to fuck with her or ignore her when she starts complaining about gaining weight or feeling weak.
>>34955060
Dump that bitch.
Take ring, cash it iin, buy new bike and fuck butches on it.
Alternatively do not say a single word to her for a week.
Shell break down crying for your manly arms
>>34955221
That's the prime age for males annon!
Market value only goes up from here
>>34955430
>at the first sign of trouble.
Uhhh, anon, a female threatening to break off a long term engagement because you get in an argument that isn't about you sucking dick and pawning all her belongings for crack is much more than just "the first sign of trouble".
I've been in an LTR for 9 years, and we plan to get married once I finish school (on GI Bill).
If she threw an engagement ring at me because I asked her to go to the gym with me, I'd walk away in a heart beat.
I learned the first time I stuck my dick in crazy and turned it into an LTR.
>>34955424
I wish you luck on your journey femanon
>>34955060
She's a total bitch. I'm a nurse, I work shifts too. I still work out several times a week.
>>34958894
I'll never understand how a man can let himself get this keked. It's not even about being some dominant red piller or some shit, it's just about not being tossed around by your wife. Jesus fuck. I would never let a women even scream at me, I don't fucking either, so why should she.
>>34955521
This thread contains many responses that are well thought out and formulated with information being the main goal. It's a serious topic and people are giving legitimate answers.
>>34960861
this. my best friend is a nurse.. she has a kid & husband, says the shifts make it EASIER to workout as she has 3 days off
Well thanks guys this thread has given me a lot of information. I don't have a girlfriend, never had one, but this thread has given me a lot of information on how to deal with a relationship. There's this girl I'm interested in and I'll know what to look out for.
>>34955060
>I directly told her she should shed off some stomach fat
You're fucking crazy, dude. Not only is that not something you say to a girl it proves you never even read the sticky. What a retard.
>>34955060
In the future. Do a Pavlovian trick and give her oral after her workout shower. She may not notice. But her brain will
>>34955060
Women are very emotional. She feels very bad, but give her time to calm down. I mean, if you love her.
>>34961263
This probably is irrelevant because OP mentioned he has been with her for seven years>>34955221
When a relationship lasts for a long time You end up knowing each other so well they do, in a sense, become a part of you.
Saying shit like this to each other (should) become irrelevant. You're not saying these things to a stranger, after all.
>>34959852
>Being condescending to your lover
this. You're all such fucking autismos who don't know how to find a quality girl in the first place, and secondly, lack any and all tact and think of her as a vagina whose sole purpose is to look hot all the time
>>34961693
Sorry about the format. I'm stoned.
/fit/grill here.
DUMP THE WHALE. Things will only get worse from here. If she can't even take care of herself now, what about pregnancy?
>>34955638
you deserve the manipulative cunt you got mate... sorry
>>34955771
>It's like if you had a song stuck in your head all day that you can't stand and you feel like you're about to kill yourself
>about to kill yourself
>because of a song
woah, you are exaggerating right?
>>34955638
you dun goof'd.
*drives away*
>>34957299
someone needs to make these persons of vapidity realise that
>2016
>paying attention to the media
>shiggy
>>34955060
She sounds like a really close minded lady. If what you told her didn't made her think over night and next morning she is still being mad at YOU for her lack of discipline then she's pretty close minded. Sucks to be engaged with someone who cannot handle truth.
>>34955060
Dump her man you shouldn't be stuck with her. That's like attaching yourself to something that WANTS TO MAKE YOU MISERABLE. Literally she just said that by saying she won't work out.
>>34955060
>the person who is supposed to be my last sexual partner is finding me less attractive.
>I should become even less attractive out of spite.
Bail out while you still can.
>>34962015
Women can cheat. They're allowed to because they're opressed.
>>34957052
Entitled shits have nothing to do with women being emotionally driven and men coming from a logical mind set. Lrn2rdi gcomprehenshun
>>34955060
Women are irrational so you can't tell them the truth. Tell them they'll be more awake or feel better emotionally (which is true) if they do some exercise. Because women naturally live longer then men, the health argument doesn't work.
>>34962032
When a man cheats it's because he's a shit person and it's a dirty moment. When a woman cheats she's missing a connection and she has needs, it's the man's fault.
Or so society would have you believe.
>>34962417
Really? My perception of society's opinion is
>If a man cheats it's the norm - he's horny and she's not satisfying him completely
> If a woman cheats she's a slut and should be ashamed.
So the complete opposite. The lesson here is to never give a fuck what other people think.
>>34955060
If she was at ALL concerned about the relationship long term she wouldn't be holding a grudge
I can understand lashing out in the moment because your feelings are hurt, but threatening to leave you and STILL being mad the next day?
Shes not thinking about you having to wipe her ass when she gets too big to do it herself, shes not thinking about how the weight will affect your childrens health should you choose to have any, shes not thinking about being able to enjoy retirement with you.
If she was serious about the relationship she would be thinking about those things. I think about them all the time and its getting me off my ass and doing something about it. I want to be a beautiful bride for my beloved, I want to be an interactive and playful mother to my healthy kids, and I want to be a strong partner for my mate for the decades to come.
Shes a fucking selfish cunt and thats all there is to it.
