Aggro issues
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness
This is probably the last place I should post this but please be nice. I got raped by another guy and have a serious time dealing with it. Have tried to use exercise and lifting as a way of coping but I'm getting aggro at people at the gym, especially /fit/ men, and I'm worried I'll do something stupid. How can I channel the aggression better into workouts? I also need advice on how to get the buffs off my back when training.
It's all self control nigga.
Ya gotta not be mad about shit that doesn't apply to you.
Story
>>34954409
You probably are taking that feeling of powerlessness and displacing it onto physiques or something.
Go get some therapy. And have faith in yourself. Otherwise, anger management shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLWlBgj0uOc
>>34954784
>>34954849
Any actual advice out there?
>>34954886
I'm already in therapy. Doesn't work. Hence the workout solution.
>>34954893
Overcoming trauma is a deeply personal journey. You will be fine, anon. Don't try fight the pain; let it wash over you. Things are going to suck for a long time, but you will bounce back stronger than before.
All that we can do is encourage you from the sidelines, our help is meaningless. You need to overcome the pain alone.
I love you bro, it's going to work out. Now get out there and heal yourself.
>>34954943
Thanks.
I still need advice though.
>>34954954
How about you go to a fucking psychiatrist intead of people on a Malthusian underwater knitting forum?
I swear to god if this is your attitude towards people who try to help then I hope you get raped again.
>>34954954
What are you looking for? Something fucked up happened to you. You can let it crush you or you can face it and rise above it. Get off 4chan, go to nature and climb a big mountain or run a marathon.
>>34954998
>I swear to god if this is your attitude towards people who try to help then I hope you get raped again.
/fit/ - Firm but Fair
>>34954998
>>34955007
I need advice on how to channel aggression into workouts. Pretty simple.
Maybe 4chan isnt quite the place to try and work through these kinds of problems. Have you thought about looking into therapy?
You could also devote your life to Allah
>>34955039
Have already mentioned that I'm in therapy.
>You could also devote your life to Allah
No thanks.
http://youtu.be/Y_6GBnIC_vk
>>34955025
>implying "channeling aggression into workouts" is just a normal fucking program or something
>implying there's any kind of "advice" for "channeling aggression into workouts"
Here's how you channel your aggression into workouts, anon: You forget about your fucking aggression and you focus on having the most intense, controlled workout you can.
>>34955025
I think the solution is to change your workout to team sports. Team sports channel aggressive urges into non-violent competition, unlike lifting which increases test and strength without any outlet.
>>34955129
Aggression entails a lack of control and focus. There's no place for that in serious weight training, which is all about control and focus. So there's your answer. Feck off.
>>34955025
>hurr anger shomehow makes people lift more
So not only are you an ingrate you're also a retard. Congrtulations. I hope your family has a trust fund for you set up, else you're not going to get anywhere in life.
>>34955129
>You forget about your fucking aggression and you focus on having the most intense, controlled workout you can.
Yes. And I need advice on how to do this. I'm having problems focusing. Even if I can't channel the aggression and have to forget it I need to know how to do this. I can't be the only person on /fit/ with rage issues. There must be someone here who has techniques for this.
>>34955056
Sounds like you just need to stick with the therapy, and tell your therapist about being so angry. It's not a one and done solution either, therapy takes time and it only works if you're honest with yourself.
As a man that was suicidally depressed for years I can tell you to stick with the therapy, and don't hold back anything man. Therapy works.
You're going make it.
>>34955152
>Team sports channel aggressive urges into non-violent competition, unlike lifting which increases test and strength without any outlet.
I can see your point. Is there any sports that gives this without physical contact?
>>34955172
Here you go, anon:
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gunaratana/dp/0861719069
>>34955204
If you begin to control your mind, you can "channel" it any way you want. That book helped me a lot, as did many others. Godspeed.
>>34954409
R u a twink
>>34955172
Just think about your incident when you lift.
How did it feel? What could you smell at the time? What did his voice sound like? How long was his hair? What clothing did he wear? What is he doing now?
>>34955175
Sounds like you fought through some stuff. It's good to hear the positive stories.
I'm having problems with my therapist actually. We have problems communicating. Should I stick to her or should I try to get another one?
>>34954998
>Malthusian underwater knitting forum
Fucking kek
>>34955217
Ok thanks. I'll check it out.
>>34954906
>Doesn't work
Nigger it does work. I'm basically a therapist who has worked with various people who have done the good ol' rapey rapey and have been harpooned.
As for your aggression just stop being a faggot and concentrate on the lift itself. You're not "channeling aggro" into a lift by trying harder, you are being more mindful (I assume you've done mindfulness if yo' in therapy) about the lift being harder. So actually just concentrate on your lifts. Ain't going to solve your problems though, you need to man the fuck up and just accept that therapy is your best way forward and don't resist it.
>>34955197
Soccer and hockey are the most competitive in my experience because tackling is intense, immediate competition over control of the ball. If they're too physical, I recommend something fast-paced and close-range like table tennis.
>>34955404
Hockey might work. I have issues with the physical contact because I can't handle people touching me. At least hockey has good padding so I'll have some distance between me and the other players.
>>34954943
>>34954943
Damn man he got raped by a man ass raped howvthe fuck should it be okay or he should overcone this ? Maybe if he rapes him but that would be more like in fmily guy or so...
If someone raped me when i was younger, i'd either kill him when i'm older and stroger or kill myself. I couldn't let it be, i'd need to get revenge. Anon, you know what to do.
>>34955702
>Anon, you know what to do.
I don't think you should give advice to anyone.
>>34955153
That's not true lad, learning to embrace and control the aggression can definitely help you work harder
Anger != agression
>>34955702
You've seen one too many revenge movies. In reality, it makes nothing better m8, only worse
>>34955785
>it makes nothing better m8, only worse
You've seen too many movies
>>34955702
Agreed.
>>34955716
Pussy.
>>34955773
>learning to embrace and control the aggression can definitely help you work harder
How du you do this? Any advice?
>unironically getting raped
lmaoing @ ur life son
I'm sorry to hear that that happened to you man. You're a survivor, not a victim, don't forget that. Definitely seek help. Let it make you stronger and smarter, don't let it ruin you.
Best of luck.
>>34955855
Thanks.
>>34954943
God damn it. Not that anon but you are very correct. I have daddy abandonment issues I've been running from all my life. You have to face your trauma and shitty emotions. Take the power back and you will learn to accept that you cannot change the past but you can move forward and make positive changes that have a butterfly effect in the universe. I've never been abused or molested so I can't imagine what you re feeling. I do know that feeling of total fucking helplessness and powerless feeling. You lift through the tears bro. Anybody who makes fun of you here is a piece of shit who was touched as a child or has no soul.
You are gonna make it because you want to. Be strong anon. You are never alone no matter how lonely you feel. We got your back, nigger.
>>34955907
Thanks.
>>34955702
Yeah but prison anon where there is more rape and rape revenges.
80% of people that get raped have no one to blame but themselves.
Who you surround yourself with / the company you keep
Where you choose to spend your time
How you behave / How you carry yourself
What you wear / Your habits
Your lifestyle
I have no sympathy for you OP
You sound like a fag. Did you like it?
>>34955977
Let me amend that:
40% lie about being raped
40% are to blame for being raped
20% are actually raped and are innocent and blameless
I've been raped before to, man.
Truly the worst moment of my existence.
And the shittiest game of halo I've ever played
>>34954409
Mate, you need counseling, not working out in a gym full of boofheads.
>>34955977
tsk
Tell the story? How did it happen?
>>34956248
I'd rather not share that on this board. Sorry.
>>34956263
Did he go to jail?
You should try to get raped again so the first time doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore
>>34956311
Not yet.
Tbh if another guy raped me i'd probably kill him afterwards.
>>34956263
why not? because you're the reason why it happened?
>>34956326
So he's not in jail but you still haven't killed him?
Pussy.
Anon, I'll try and give you a serious reply. I've never been raped but did have several pretty traumatic experiences related to sex when I was very young. It's affected me a lot.
What helped me was not running from it. Now, it sounds to me like you're running from it. I tried to bury it. I abused drugs, gaming, music didn't sleep, excelled in college. Anything would do. Basically never let myself rest because then it would catch up with me.
After I realized I was going to kill myself if I kept doing massive amounts of drugs, I cold turkeyed everything. Threw myself into my work. Started running and ran a half marathon. Started lifting weights. Consumed women and broke more hearts than I'd care to admit. I told myself that I'd gotten better because I didn't have any "bad" habits any more, but the drive to escape all of the emotional damage I had was still there and just as strong. I still wasn't accepting it. I was still burying it in incredibly unhealthy amounts of stimulation.
It sounds to me like that's what you're doing now with the gym. I could be wrong, cause I don't know you and I can't infer much about your life from a few sentences.
The only thing that's made me feel "better" is trying to accept everything. If I need to cry, I cry. If I need to get mad, I get mad. If I need to smile, joke about it to myself, sure. My way of dealing with it was to not filter my experience and not bury it. Don't let other things consume you in order to escape. You have to overcome it however you can. That means accepting it fully. If you don't do that, you can't heal fully.
Therapy didn't work for me for a long time, either, but the only reason it didn't work was because I didn't have the capacity to be fully open with my therapist or myself. Massive trauma can make you close up to a massive degree. In my experience, closing up isn't the answer. Mindfulness meditation helps.
All the best, brother.
inb4 lol @ this fag making a serious reply
>>34954892
lold
thanks for sharing
>>34956517
You make sense. It got me thinking a lot. Thanks for this.
>>34956517
I feel you. I, too, had some bad stuff going on, I also have some anger issues to this day, so I'm gonna add something to this post.
My therapy, unlike anon's I'm replaying to, worked on me pretty good, but I had to cope with everything all over again almost each therapy session. But I was determined to go through this and don't look back. I used to take medicine, too, and it also helped me a lot. But everyone is different, do what is best for you.
I finished my therapy, as I felt everything was getting better, and I stopped taking my medicine. It was good for awhile, but I've started to think about my trauma again and now have some agression issues I can't control. Usually, like anon said, letting your emotions go free is okay, I cry when I need to and it usually helps me take off everything from my chest. It happens quite often, but the more I suppress my emotions, the worse it gets.
So my advice is: remember about your emotions, don't suppress them, let them out once in a while. But of course, not by hitting others, that's important
Best wishes, anon!
>>34956923
>not by hitting others, that's important
Yeah I see your point. Guess I need to vent more and see if it helps with the gym aggro. Thanks.
>>34955237
If talking to her isn't helping, maybe see if there is someone else you can talk to. I had a few different therapists. Some tell you what you want to hear, some tell you what they want you to believe and the good ones will listen for a long time before ever really saying anything poignant, but when they do, it's good.
But again as I previously said, unless you are 100% honest and you aren't lying to yourself (which I was at the beginning of my therapy) then you will make progress.
What happened is unbelievably awful and it is completely ok to be angry, but remember that it wasn't the guy doing hack squats behind you. Keep keeping on man.
>>34957076
Thanks. I think I'm going to look for a new one tomorrow.
>>34957109
Allahu ackbar
