>>37828159

Sometimes friendly people come across as appeasers. Their opinion is worth nothing because they'll often deign to agree with people, even when they feel they shouldn't, just to be liked. What I'm saying is that maybe you're being too friendly?

I'm not suggesting you become an absolute penis either, just keep your mouth shut when you don't agree with somebody and if you feel like you should challenge them, be matter-of-fact about it.

People respect guys who have a spine, but be prepared to tread on somebody's toes at some point. Conflict is unavoidable.

Start taking tren to become an alpha

>>37828159
>I want respect
Do/become something that is to be respected. Respect is earned brah.

This is the reason i started lifting. Everyone at least seems interested in what i have to say and everyone laughs at my jokes even when they are extremely bad.

>>37828350
Thanks anon, i'm not a complete sissy or anything and always (when necessary) debate decisions, but maybe if I become more "firm" when debating people they'll respect what I have to say some more?

>>37828378
I want to change, I know getting /fit/ will help but, if people will treat me the same anyways then maybe I should focus somewhere else first?

It might help if you guys had some more background
>dad abandoned me and my mom
>grew up without a dad so had to learn "man lessons" on my own
>mom doesn't know how to parent she was always angry

/fit/ I need help to become a respected man, I want to lift and be a better person but I can't help but feel people will just see me as a buffed up beta

>>37828159
I can't even imagine how pathetic a male at 5"10 and a WHOPPING 120 pounds is. You need to bulk up son.

Just start with a moderate dose of test later on with tren.

Then change job if necessary.
The change you will be going through will be to fast for the people around you to accept it.

Enjoy brah

>>37828437
Yeah man, just think twice before you say something and keep your integrity sacred. If you don't agree with somebody, don't be a prick, just be clear in your opinion, don't get flustered/emotional and remember that you're challenging somebody because you firmly believe in what you're saying.
If you only half believe what you're saying, then don't pursue the conversation (unless you do it with an open mind) because you'll seem like a juvenile beta who craves debates as self-affirmation.

Speak softly, but carry a big stick and all that.

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>>37828437
Start Lifting.
The urge to change your mindset and attitude will come with the progress and the new lifestyle.
But if you REALLY decide to take this road, then do your future self a gigantic favor and understand what you are going to commence.

>read the sticky
>UNDERSTAND the fucking sticky
>UNDERSTAND all the aspects of lifting and take them seriously
includes learning proper form (it's going to be unpleasant and unstatisfying at first but take the time!!!), counting your calories, planning your meals, keepin track of progress, finding a good routine, etc...

There are so many people 'wasting' YEARS with little to no progress because they have no idea what they are actually doing or they are just not serious and consistent about it (just want to get toned').

also how old are you?

>>37828446
I know it's really because we can't afford to buy much food after all the bills.

>>37828494
Thanks but does test have any negative side-effects?

>>37828621
thanks for the reply anon, is it possible to be outgoing and walk with a big stick though? I know sometimes you have to be able to laugh at yourself, do the guys that get all the girls and respect ever take hits to their image?

>>37828777
I've read the sticky a few times over the past few months, i've been considering lifting on and off for a few month's but recently something happened that made me realise just how little and insignificant I was to the people around me.

I'm 22, and work at a hardware store, they give wonky hours so it's near impossible to ever work out a stable schedule, should I consider a new job?

>>37828159
I generally feel that way about people that don't really have a personality. They don't have any opinions they don't have any hobbies, they're hardly even human beings.

I'm still polite to them but I'd never go out of my way to talk to one, they feel like living zombies.

>>37828159
i was in your position last january except i was 5'10" 115 lbs soaking wet. I had the same problems that you did. It even got so bad that when i was talking to any qt 3.14 all id be thinking was how her arms were bigger than mine. Used to feel like a boy standing in a group of men. oversized hoodies 24x7.
Kept to myself. I was never talked down to but unless it was close friends who had known me for sometime guys would just regard me with indiffrence, i wouldnt be one of the "bros" you know. I was seen as asexual/impotent well because i probably was. I mean ive been told im cute and shit but i have never been hit on outright (also since i kept to myself-> more acquaintances/less friends-> less parties -> less chance of meeting chicks). It just snowballs into every aspect of your life, or thats what i felt.

just turned 23, 160 lbs now and although i have put on weight it doenst feel like it at all. All i see in the mirror is a sickly aushwitz mode disgusting fuck. All i wanted was just to be normal but i guess that was too much to ask for. These days i go through cycles(emotions not test) where i feel like im god looking vs someone who shouldnt see the light of the day and it directly affects my interaction with others.

i still have long ways to go but every pound helps me see myself in better light.

But as you already know being outgoing has no effect on how fit you are. Its just the state of mind but you cant shake it off because of all your insecurities

>>37829093
but yea what you have suspecting so far i.e. people seeing you as less manly etc are true but not to the extent you choose to believe in. Just one day at a time man. the first day i went the gym by myself was probably one of the most daunting tasks for me because it was the getting to the root of all of my insecurities.

You dont need to be the next arnold but you need to get into the rhythm. Skellies like us wont have the same progress compared to fatties because diet is what comes down to the most importing part of getting fit, and me and you have just not been eating as much.

Something that kinda kick started my fitness goals was one of these stupid recoveries: http://i.imgur.com/o7eDqHG.jpg

if a fucking dog could do it so could i. You probably struggle to bench the bar and feel everyone at the gym laughing at you. Brush it off, keep your head high, do miss a workout and fix you diet. Its simple as that

>>37828437
Shit man, OP post and living with a single mom and learning man things on your own? Are you me?

I can relate with everything you said man. One thing that slightly helped was knowing my boundaries, knowing my purpose (this can simply mean day by day or task by task), and not being afraid to say No without an explanation. Also being okay with disagreeing with others, and only speaking when I have something meaningful to say. If I'm not sincerely feeling something I won't say it just to say it.

Everything comes with practice.

>>37829093
>>37829189
Thanks anon I can really relate to this, like almost like your me. I'm scared lifting won't help me at all and i'll just be as pathetic as before, did lifting help your self confidence? I'm intimidated by the gym, but if it will help at all I'll do whatever it takes.

>>37828777
>"I'm having a social problem"
>Read the sticky

Topkek

>>37828159
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/02/12/how-to-be-assertive/

read this

Also hit the gym. It will help with your confidence. It will seem scary the first couple of weeks and you'll feel out of place, but keep at it and you'll grow to love it.

Also observe people you you perceive as confident and assertive i.e. the people who gets listened to etc. Imitate and mimic them. I'm not saying you should become them, but pick up on their social cues, body languages etc. No one became assertive, masculine and confident without first learning from others. Work on it assertiveness as you continue lifting, and over time you'll find yourself in a better position socially.

We're all gonna make it breh.

>>37829247
It does help man. It one way to deal with your frustrations. You can decide to be pathetic and jsut wallow in self pity or you can choose to gett off you butt and do something about it. I just realized when i was high as a motherfucker and staring into the mirror and seeing how i looked like a prepubescent grill, that all my insecurities stemmed from the fact that i was skinny. I mean growing up i was normal, popular, yadda-yadda you know the whole spiel. I was known as the smart guy, the cute guy, the artist and then i hit a growth spurt and while i was smart, cute and artsy I was just known as the skinny guy and was made fun off. I just kinda bagan building a wall around myself, being recluse and a former shell of who i was.

I am trying to to break it down and lifting has been been the fire that is stirring my pot. I am no longer complacent and resigning to be content with who i was.

Lifting does spill into every other area of your life, but its not the fix to all your problems. Like i said in the post before, there are days where i feel like a king and days where i feel like a sack of shit. Its better that feeling like a sack of shit all the time.

it did help me immensely with my confidence (compared to my previous shut in self). I walk with a spring in my step, head high and when i see someone looking at me i know it not a look of of disgust but its a 'mire.

It took me forever to start hitting the gym because id come up with a myriad of excuses.

>>37828159
Your fitness has nothing to do with any of that, it's because you're a young guy who probably has no personality to speak of, or a personality that grates on people's nerves, and they'd really rather not have you around, but there's no valid reason to get rid of you because you (ostensibly) do the job you're paid to do, so you're 'tolerated' and not liked. Welcome to being an adult! Lots of people are going to be indifferent towards you or outright not like you, especially where you work because nobody gets a say in who gets hired other than the boss(es), who hire based on ability to do work, not how well liked you'll be. That's why people get PAID to WORK: It's not usually all that pleasant. Get over it. If you go through life and accumulate as many friends as you have fingers on one or both hands, then you're doing better than many people do. Grow up, get over it, and stop taking everything that happens at work so personally.

>>37829451
"Oh id start on a monday" id say. "Oh i start next month, because i want a clean slate", "Oh ill start once i pick a program" "once i buy some workout clothes""once i gain just a few more pounds""once I ..."

It took me like six months to come to terms that i was being a bitch. I went the gym the next day. I was 22 too. My arms shook trying to bench the fucking bar. But i persevered.

I didnt have lofty goals. i was to be shredded as fuark but i kept it simple, just get to a nornal weight first.

Your body has nothing to with how sociable you are. But its one of those thing that helps you to be sure of yourself so you can be more sociable. but for skellies like us, it could be one of the best things you could do for yourself.

Also lifting is becoming more prevalent so every guy and his mom lifts. Not lifitng only puts you behind the herd.

Pick a shirt, pants/shorts, a water bottle and go to the gym. You dont need to at look anyone. just bench fucking bar, squat the bar and deadlift wiht some 25 pound plates.

>>37828159
You won't ever beat those problems.

I'm in the same boat OP. I'm nice and polite but people walk all over me,

I was raised not to take any shit but as I've gotten older it's only gotten me into trouble, so now I'm overly polite and I constantly let people walk all over me because I'm scared of causing problems for myself.

I used to box, I won fights thinking it would finally get me the respect I deserved but people still think I'm a weak push over because of my attempts to live life as a good man.

These last few months I've really heavily thrown myself into buddhism and tried to make an extra effort not to rise to people, and I quit boxing too. 4 months later and i feel angry today, one of the angriest I've ever been. My work mates are arseholes, my boss at work is a weedy cunt and doesn't respect me but he is a manager so he thinks hes alpha.

For the first time in a long time I snapped earlier, someone said the wrong thing trying to intimidate me and I flipped my shit and let it all loose and scared him off. I fucking hate this world. I try to be a good guy, I don't bully, I try to help people who need help, I try to be there for people who need emotional support, I care about people and all i want is to have friends and have a laugh; but theres something missing in me that won't allow me. I don't know if I'm autistic as fuck or what but theres some connection in me that always makes me the outcast, I never have anything of value to say. I don't fit in with anyone unless I choose to do drugs and I don't want to do that.

I'm at breaking point. I want to go back to boxing and train 6 days a week to fight again because theres is nothing else in life. I will never fit in no matter hard I try, I just need to go back to isolation and occupy my time productively.


I am so fucking angry tonight. Of my few friends in life, I find that the only people I can truly connect with are people on 4chan. What the fuck is wrong with us? Why are we always outcasts?