My kindergartner need to do a science project for school. The topic is "invention."
Anyone have any good suggestions?
Volcano
>>930566
Thank you for your suggestion, but the topic is Invention....
>>930567
>he hasn't read the bible.
Quantum transporter
>>930565
The fuck? When I was in kindergarten all we did was play with toys and outside all day long.
Electromagnetic shrink ray.
>>930565
>>930585
It's a different world, my friend.
Make a volcano. And bring it to School every time they ask for a stupid assignment. Remember grades dont matter until highs jool, and then only if you're going to college.
>>930565
Cool clock Ahmed!
Solar panel on a house (cardboard box)
Panel charges a small 12v battery in the "back yard"
House has lights on a switch powered by battery
Throw in a freedom garden and you're demonstrating some critical thinking and creativity.
>>930592
post the one with the rock
>>930652
OP here,
nice, thanks Anon!!!
>>930565
Get a box of Alca Seltzer and put it in a hot water bottle/douche bag, shove it up the teachers ass and take pictures.
Tesla verses Edison
>>930592
This
dress the kid in a full on burkha for extra credits.
>>930565
Finger box. Dragon dildos. Painted pallet wood. Shipping container tree house or underground shelter. Ravebikes.
U pick.
>>930565
No they don't. There's not a school in the world that expects 4-5 year old children do projects of any kind. They play and listen to stories. That's it.
>>930592
I THINK OPS KID IS WHITE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT DO THIS!!!
THE POOR WHITE CHILD WILL BE GUNNED DOWN BY CAMPUS SECURITY BEFORE SHE/HE EVEN REACHES THE DOORS!
sideways hoverboard
or invent a computer processor and solder it and stuff
>>930741
not sure what backward country you are from but here in the northeast of good ol' US of A, we believe in superior kids.
>>930921
In the UK, we have projects like this for tots, although it's more an assessment of parenting / parent cooperation than the child's ability.
OP is demonstrating his willingness / ability to help his child - good dad!
>>930921
>superior kids.
>not qualified for a job flipping burgers, putting a bolt in at a factory, or to plan their own finances after 12 years of education. Significant percentage is functionally illiterate.
U-s-a u-s-a
>>930965
I'll have you know they lead the world in shooting each other to bits.
>>930921
cant tell if trolling or that deluded
>>930565
Ethanol burner under a Sterling engine powered generator, that provides electricity to a small radio.
The innovation of the day is that patents have expiration dates.
Bonus points if something gets set on fire.
>>930565
time machine
>>930565
build a wind turbine with a DC motor
A clock!
>>930565
make a truss bridge with popsicle sticks
>>931027
A lever.
Mechanical engineering is all levers and wheels. Literally simple enough for a child to understand. Give kid a bunch of levers to demonstrate. Make a toy see saw, give them a nut cracker, a pair of pliers, scissors. Levers everywhere.
how about a stick you can break over your knee and it becomes nunchucks?
>>930585
>>930594
Stfu you fuckin fogies
Make a life sized robotic version of Tesla.
Get a plastic bucket a candle and a stout rubber band.
Shoot soundwaves at the candle to blow it out.
Lemon/potato powered clock
Cheap and easy.
One of these mounted facing down on a wooden frame with a tea candle under it to make up draft. Make sure enough space not to burn the thing.
>>930957
Moмo!
make an invisible airplane
>take apart a digital clock
>add some superfluous wiring
>set timer to go off in class
>give child bail money
>>930750
witnessed!
>>931428
did he ever visit the whitehouse?
>>930565
A thorium reactor, she will be praised by all
use a magnetron from a microwave oven to remotely power a fluorescent bulb
make sure she doesn't point it at anything living
>>930568
Underrated post
>>930568
>and on the fourth day God added baking soda
>>930565
OH SHIT CURIOUS GEORGE TO THE MOTHER FUCKING RESCUE.
SAW THIS ON PBS TODAY, IT'LL BE GANGBUSTERS NIGGER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bsKIle7LjQ
>>930741
In Canada we also learn how to make letters at this stage, or at least we did when I went, not too sure what progressive crap their up to now. Probably learning how to speak and make letters of 10 different languages for inclusion and diversity reasons.
Anyway, I remember it as half work, half play. It only lasted for half the day too, which resulted in parents having to worry about finding babysitters for their kids.
>>930565
So do they want them/you to invent something completely new? Or are you just suppose to do some half-fast imitation of something and give a little presentation?
Either way, I think you should post pics of your kid.
>>930565
cook cocaine into crack
>>930565
Get some scrap wood, marbles, string, etc.
Make a little 3-step rube-goldberg device that drops a coin into some makeshift piggy bank.
Your kid can glue and paint and put stickers on it...probably would be a couple hours of fun with your kid.
>>930594
Yeah. Nowadays kids stop doing things in middle schools.
>>930565
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yPnG1cQh90
He should invent a clock like ahmed
>>932354
Do this
>>930741
You're expected to be able to read sight words by the time you enter Kindergarten now. Even when I was a kid we did "science projects" shit like planting seeds and watching them grow. Watching celery change color from food dye. Making play-dough volcanoes and using baking soda and vinegar in them.
As for OP's question. Don't be the cunt parent who does the work for your kid. Ask her what she wants to make. Help her make it. It doesn't matter if she wants to make a unicorn tail braining device, it's not your job to try and convince her to make a working computer. That comes later in life after her childhood is crushed by puberty.
>>932354
Fuckers need to change that battery.
I used to use an AM radio as a bug detector. Basically same principal but no calculator. The radio will pick up the EM emissions from the electronic devices.
>>932956
>>I used to use an AM radio as a bug detector.
What the hell kind of life do you lead that you used an AM radio to check for bugs. If you are really concerned about bugs, wouldn't you invest in a device dedicated to that purpose?
>>932957
He needs pic related.
You could create a hover board. It is very simple.
>>932954
help her with some magnet stuff, that always is neat. especially the one where you drop a magnet down a copper pipe and the induced current slows its fall.
>>933092
I did a really retarded science project in 11th grade on eddy currents and got an A. Imagine what a kindergartner would get.
>literally dropping neo magnets down a pipe and timing it
>>932957
This was when I was like 10 and had gotten a battery powered radio. I was not actually checking for bugs. I was not and have never been paranoid enough to think someone is actually spying on me.
Dress her in a toga and just have her go around spouting random shit about how democracy is a farce and we need some kind of automonarchtocracy or something of the sort and say she has invented a new kind of government and that plebeians wouldn't understand it because it's higher philosophy.
If anyone says anything, either have her reiterate that they won't understand it even if she explained because they're lower class and stupid, or just have her piss on them like good old Diogenes.
>>930592
Should be called
>freescholarshiptoM.I.T.webm
>Onekidssimpletricktogetanyjob.webm
>>933220
>diogenes
hello /lit/
>automonarchtocracy
this is plato as well
>>932954
Whoah - don't just make whatever your daughter wants - I made my 6yo a wizard's staff that produced smoke and electric shocks.. it all ended in tears.
>>934078
You don't make anything for her. You help her make something. If it involves power tools, you're doing a kindergarten school project wrong.
>>930565
Something that launches a projectile of aome sort at a high speed
A simple invention is a paint brush out of paper. Keep cutting lines with a scissor then fold the paper. It's a very simple and fast invention.
>>932347
Is there any logical reason why you would fucking say that post is underrated? Has anybody expressed any kind of dissatisfaction or criticism at all against it? Are you delusional? Are you reading replies that are nonexistant? Maybe you come from communities with voting systems, but there is literally no way that you could know what other people think of that post you just replied to here. Maybe it's psychological. Maybe it's your own post you're replying to, like a 12 year old fucktard liking his own facebook posts thinking his swelling autism is going unnoticed. Maybe your self esteem depends on you tricking yourself into thinking someone out there thinks your post is worth something. Or maybe you are just a retard, the worst kind of retard, the one who thinks he's smart, the one who thinks he's the only one to have gotten the joke, to have understood the post. Well, guess what, faggot, that post is by no definition underrated so why don't you do the world a favour and go check out what the bottom of your toilet smells like?
>>934132
Overrated past
Make a bomb.
>>930565
A Surfboard with roller skates.
>post picture of little girl
>thread explodes
>>930565
Dildo out of a cigar tube. fill it with angry insects and seal it up.
>>930565
Look up doctor Wizard, an old TV show from the 50s. Good luck
>>934523
4chan in a nutshell
OP here.
Thanks for all the suggestions....finally decided on this instead.
And Audrey thanks you all!
>>935300
>whoring your child on the internet
I know OP is gone but damn did no one really suggest letting your kid do it on her own? The whole point of these kind of exercises is to develop some creative thinking skills and motor skills in the kid. Doesn't matter if it ends up a shit project or not it matters that your kid gets a bit of learning experience from it and learns to think on her own a little more and you fucked that up.
>>935300
Queen of /diy/
>>935369
At my school, we use home projects to assess the parents as much as the kids. OP was right to make the effort.
>>935300
Tell me that isn't actually a picture of your kid
>posting your kid's picture on 4chan
ISHYGDDT
>>935469
OP here.
I post her on other website too and my blog. What's the problem?
>>935729
While /diy is typically amongst the most mature of boards, you must remember that this is still 4chan and things like identifying yourself for no reason, or even providing a vector through which it could be done, are never good ideas.
I hope the best for you and your child, but her picture and name were not relevant to the post. Do let us know how it goes.
>tfw my parents never helped me with any of my projects
>they never showed up to my presentations
>other parents would come up to me, congratulate me, and ask about my parents.
>"they must be very proud of you!"
>Show my parent my prize when they got home from work. Get pizza.
>>935729
Most parents would be bothered by the idea that somebody is masturbating to her right now and he knows where she lives.
>>931020
Nawaz man that's the middle east, we just shoot brown people here.
>>935469
kid is cute
its ok as long as nobody posts it on the peado board
and by that i mean /tv/
>>935368
>>935469
>>935739
>>935834
>Actually believing that that is OP's kid
Those pics are from 2011. She's out of playschool for some time now.
>>935774
What reasonable person would allow themselves to be bothered by something they have no control over?
>>932252
That photo predates the Mad Max movie, but I did think the same thing.
>>935298
That works does?
>>935298
>teaching your daughter how to warm up a wiener
ok anon.
>>932954
>expecting kindergarten age kids to read
Nigga what. Some kids can, but it's not an issue of they can.
My oldest son is 6. When he started school last year he couldn't read, and I remember his teacher making some comment about how it was going to be difficult, and that they really like kids to be reading before they start.
By the end of the year, many of the kids who went to the really structured daycares and whatnot were struggling to complete reading books. My lad had shot to the top of the class for reading, and absolutely loved it. Teach had actually run out of reading books for him and was getting more from other classes.
If you force your kids to tick boxes and have rigid structured learning too early, then they'll hate it and are likely to rail against it the moment you give them an ounce of freedom. Or they'll view things like reading or learning as dull chores, rather than something interesting.
End rant.
>>936181
yes, it will if done properly.
>>930690
how did /b/ get in here
