What is the best way top get rid of one's lawn? I've got no interest in maintaining a lawn, nor do I have any interest in paying someone else to do it. Is there a "proper" way to enact a scorched earth policy on my lawn or should a liberal application of ground clear and salt do the trick?
>>1001842
>doeant want grass
stop watering it
get grass killer from the store
dig it up with shovel
piss on it daily. that will kill it
>>1001842
Depends where you live, there's a lot of places that will rip it up for you, and maybe pay.
Don't know what else to say, where I live if you stop watering it, the shit dies in a month.
>>1001861
>stop watering it
Cant really keep it from raining, anon.
>get grass killer from the store
That was already pretty much plan A assuming there wasn't a better way.
>dig it up with shovel
If I wanted to toil in the sun, I'd just mow that shit.
>piss on it daily. that will kill it
already happens since the people I live with are the type to take a 10-minute shit then take a 5 minute shower to rinse off.
>>1001862
Indiana, so not watering it really isn't going to do the job since it will just rain.
>no more ANNOYING CUTTING, TRIMMMING, WEEDING or WATERING
>no more BIRDS, PLANTS, ANIMALS or ANY OF THAT KIND OF SHIT
>no more LOSING YOUR OIL SUMP DRAIN SCREW
>no more GREEN SHIT or NATURE
yes OP weve got you COVERED.
for JUST $15,000 and ONE DAY, see your garden lawn woes vague memories, like, totally.
EZ-CARE LAWNS INC make your troubles some other fuckers problem.
FUCK UP YOUR SHIT, TODAY TOMORROW and for AT LEAST the next three generations.
EZ-CARE INC - because by the time someone has to fix your retarded shit? -you'll be long dead.
>>1001884
Just make sure they slop that shit away from your home so it doesn't flood every time it rains, also make sure you have some place for all the water to drain off to.
>>1001842
salt the earth and put rocks like they do in Arizona.
>>1001842
What kind of sq. Footage u have. U can use diesel fuel to kill a lawn quickly.
>>1001906
It causes the neighbors grass to flood instead.
One way to make enemies with them.
Get astro turf.
>>1001884
What kind of niggerdom is this?
>>1001924
They made an enemy of me when bitched at the city about my lawn so I had to pay the illegals down the street to do it.
>>1001884
Actually, I was thinking more of just dirt and lawn pavers.
>>1001906
All of the houses on my block are on these types of plots where the lawn is like 3 feet above street level so that wouldn't be a problem. Is also one of these reasons I don't want to deal with mowing is because the riding mower will roll if I try to mow the slope with it and the push mower is heavy as shit.
>>1001925
I actually priced out what it would cost to do this back when i worked for menards. The whole yard would need to be ripped up and replaced with crushed limestone, then the turf was about $7.something per square foot so the cost to have this done would have exceeded the value of the house. Granted it would also be a massive increase to the value of the house.
>>1002047
>Granted it would also be a massive increase to the value of the house
No it wouldnt
>>1002047
kill grass
crushed rock
paint green
just like in arizona
>>987971
- be 404 (very) shortly but.
>>1002047
>value-added astroturf
you underground shipping container, and need to landscape the roof? maybe..
otherwise, you must be smoking it - the fuck is wrong with you people anyway, trim a fucking lawn twice a year, Jeesus.
its what Mexicans are for.
>>1002070
The hell kind of mutant grass do you have that doesn't grow 6 inches every time it rains?
![Potager-Urbain[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/HFtumaY.jpg "Potager-Urbain[1].jpg")
Do this with your front yard.
Grow your own food.
>>1002108
not eveyone lives in the midwest with our beautiful fertile soil.
I have to mow twice a week the soil is so rich and the grass grows so fast.
>>1002111
It would just be more upkeep. I'm trying to eliminate as much yard work as possible. Already had the only non-coniferous tree removed back when I had the money to do so in order to eliminate raking and limit the local squirrel population.
>>1001842
Move to a desert. I'd suggest Up style.
>>1002047
Do pavers and raised beds with low maintenance stuff like ornamental grass. A couple japanese maples or something would be nice, too. You really want a yard with nothing but dirt? I totally get your rejection of lawns, but I would find a yard with just dirt depressing as shit.
>>1001861
What he'll hole do you love in where grass dies if you don't water it?
>>1002126
Instead of a garden you throw some wild flower seeds and mulch. Then you can tell people the neglect is on purpose.
>>1002161
I want a yard with little or no upkeep. If I had the money, I would totally use high-quality astroturf and just have my shit look like a putting green all year round.
>>1001842
Diesel
>>1002285
Probably the best bet, though if OP was hardcore, mowing your lawn with a flamethrower is the classier choice
>>1002126
then maybe land ownership isn't for you.
i suggest pissing all your money away renting in a high rise.
Coat your yard in black plastic sheets ? Cook it dead ?
Just stop watering it and burn it or pay some illegals to do it if you are in America since they have a serious problem
>>1001842
>>1001884
lol that guy loved his concrete.
>>1002047
go get a used magnesium deck lawn boy, light as a feather.
If you're motivated enough, you can just cut it into strips, roll it up and sell it
>>1002455
Unless it also fuels, starts, and pushes the mower twice a week, It'd be a waste of time.
>>1002456
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LzhhTLKBV5A
My friend did this a couple years back to grow in a "drought-resistant" garden filled with desert plants.
What he did was cover the entire lawn in black trash bags, which would heat up the lawn beyond livable conditions. Grass is actually quite hardy so even then you have to manually pull out some roots.
But once you've done that, it's all gone.
Then you only really have to worry about your neighbor's lawn growing into yours.
Honestly, I think your best option is an autonomous lawn mower because your lazy ass is just going to drop the property value for your neighborhood.
>>1002469
Incidentally, autonomous lawn mowers are university projects. Go to your local university and see if you can't pay the students to make you one.
Expect it to be in the low 4 figures range because them GPS modules ain't cheap.
>>1002473
>pay the students
By this I mean go to the head of the Computer Engineering department or the Dean of the college and ask what the best course of action is.
>>1001842
For all the effort you are going through, you can just get a cheap riding lawn mower.
It wont be any different than driving your mobility scooter.
>>1002469
I've got no issues with dropping the property values of the neighborhood. The only people withing a few blocks that actually own the home are my immediate next door neighbors; the ones who bitched about the height of my lawn. If their property value drops then thats just a happy accident. If one of the landlords wants to get shitty about it, I'll tell him that if he wants my lawn mowed, then he can pay his most trusted illegal to have it done.
>>1002485
Already have a riding mower, and a push mower. I just have no interest in maintaining or using either of them.
When it comes to the grass, I'm motivated if it is a final solution. If that means I have to cover my lawn in rock salt and gravel, then so be it.
OP, if you lived in my neighborhood and did some lazy shit like this I'd just seed your grass at night. I guarantee you'll give up on removing the new seed and grass before I stop finding enjoyment in you having to work. And if you did some ignorant shit like dump bleach or diesel or whatever I'd send a sample of it and an address to a local or federal agency that loves raping the little guy that's harming the water table. You think paying illegals was bad imagine paying the EPA, who do get involved in little matters such as this.
Not even cause I'd be upset, just because you need something else to do in your free time since you'll have plenty of it without needing to cut grass.
>>1002559
So you're just a lazy cunt then. Why not just lie down and die, that solves everyone's problems
cheap shit aerosol spray degreaser.
Works like a charm!
Also since it sprays a stream you can write words and shit... the only way to remove it would be to rip up the grass or spraypaint it green to hide the offensive stuff.
>>1001842
Guy next to my parents in the SF Bay Area, because of the drought and water use restrictions, mixed up wheelbarrows full of concrete and poured it in lumps on his dying lawn, took him about a week, dad said it looks like a miniature skate park, guy tells my dad he is going to paint it green when he is done
>>1002592
Concrete is definitely an option i was considering. Especially since I would be able to mold in trenches to divert water away from the house. Though I'd have to come to some sort of agreement with the neighbor about his tree. Its just off the property line but I guarantee the roots expand into my side.
Do the trash bag thing like:
>>1002469
or: >>1002456
Then seed with clover. No maintenance greenery.
>>1002323
>>1002469
>>1002597
OP, clear plastic works much better than black, but it has to be stretched really flat. If you can't get really good contact, it's not worth it.
Mow first, as low as you can get, and make sure the lawn isn't covered in clippings.
If you can do all this, you can turn all green and all roots to nothing. Doesn't really dry it, more like it just kind of decomposes.
After that, you gotta figure out how to keep weeds and other stuff trying to grow again.
>>1002597
hmm, that actually doesn't sound like a bad idea. Think some rolled plastic sheeting would work instead of trash bags? i'd prefer something that is easy to work with.
Have you considered selling your property to a real adult and moving into Section 8 housing with the rest of the semi-functionals that can't handle children's chores?
>>1002658
You're that guy with the kid who's missing half of his left foot, aren't you? Fucking degenerate, let kids be kids. The world sucks hard enough for adults already, no sense in starting the misery any earlier than that.
