/co/ gets a lot of Peggy hate threads, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of discussion on what a disgusting slimeball Bill can be. So here's an autistic effortpost to even things out some.
I've recently watched a lot of King of the Hill, and I've compiled some of the gross and sexually deviant things he's done over the course of the series. Since I can't remember every episode and haven't rewatched them all, this isn't even complete, but it is in rough chronological order since I'm looking at an episode list. I'm not even touching the times when he's been pathetic or assholish because then this'd be even longer (though there is some overlap).
Enjoy this pointless trivia, and be grateful every day that, no matter what, your life will (probably) never reach the lows of Bill Dauterive.except for mine, for making this list, but whatever I'm bored
>constantly expresses his desire to fuck Peggy in front of Hank and the entire world (too many instances across the whole series to name)
>seriously considers eating the "corpse" of the whooping crane whole to dispose of the evidence
>begs Peggy to dance with him, then literally sweats all over her
>is undisturbed that the Souphanousinphones may have killed and cooked their pet dog because it tastes so damn good
>then says he might eat one of the guys if they were in a "desert-island situation"
>just hangs out on Hank's property in the dead of night, watching him do stuff
>wears the same shirt every day, might not even wash it regularly or at all
>seems to have a fetish for women wrestling in pudding, also watches women wrestle while eating pudding
>when he's not wearing that one shirt, he wears a bunch of "X days until the Super Bowl" ones at once so he can take one off each day
>generally spills crumbs all over the place while he eats
>watches enough pornography (some of it featuring underage actresses) to have an encyclopedic knowledge of it
>has had foot fungus for years, which is gross enough that Lenore used it against him in the divorce and it drove Leanne back to drink
>fucked Leanne on Hank's lawnmower
>called Luanne his "stepdaughter" for some time after Leanne left him
>took a couch covered in cat piss into his home
>has a rotting plant in his house that seems to have been there a few years
>knowingly eats Ladybird's female dog hormone biscuits
>tried to watch Hank and Peggy fuck
>eats his friends'/neighbors' garbage and shits on their lawns
>replaces rotting plant with skeleton of a Christmas tree every year
>is undisturbed by an iguana pissing all over him
>eats spaghetti off the counter while chugging the jar of tomato sauce
>has erotic dreams about Peggy, some of which involve her spanking him
>turned on by the thought of Peggy having extra testosterone
>apparently knows how Peggy smells
>voluntarily came back after being raped by a dolphin and got raped again
>tried to move in as Bobby's father and Peggy's wife when Hank was out of town for the weekend
>took the Hills' trash into his house for some reason
>shoved some random mice into his mouth while attempting to "save" the cheese they were crawling on
>seems to hate everyone who's in happy relationships or doesn't want to fuck him
>irons his one shirt while standing shirtless in his house
>pretended Peggy's trashed body cast was Peggy and kept it in his house (also had a picture of her in a frame to use as her head)
>often has food stains on his clothes or face
>multiple characters say he smells and has bad breath
>seems turned on by Peggy's foot fetish website
>takes multiple opportunities to hang around Peggy all day for no reason
>had a dream in which he and the guys were standing in the alley naked
>specifically mentions that dream-Hank was wearing tiny plastic underwear but you could still see everything
>says that wasn't even the "weird part" of the dream before getting interrupted
>has accidentally chewed on an old woman's hair, multiple times
>wore a Santa outfit months past Christmas until it became dirty and possibly vomit-stained
>kept Christmas shit on his lawn for the same reason and scared away a woman who was genuinely interested in him
>keeps bags of hair in his house
>pissed in the cooler the guys keep their beers in
>wishes he had a son to kick him in the testicles
>announces to the guys at random that he's horny
>wishes he had a toilet in his living room
>eats ridiculous amounts of food during his most depressed states (ex. Valentine's Day), to the point that he brings spare pants to restaurants
>seemed to have a part in convincing Bobby that he should show up to Joseph's party in a diaper and act like Cupid
>ate the chocolate that Bobby rubbed over his body after pulling it out of the trash
>sticks his hand (which has cuts on it) into the bowl of salsa at someone else's party, then licks it off
>sucks on coins
>his bathroom is apparently really disgusting, to the point that the guys would rather do weird shit like tongue-kiss lizards than shower in it
>eats bananas with the peels
>continues drinking beer even after Hank tells him it's tainted and causes vomiting and diarrhea
>secretly watched Hank and Peggy get naked
>may have a collection of random people's hair
>broke into the Hills' house while they were away and wore Peggy's clothes while pretending to be her (Dale also pretended to be Hank, which might make it more or less weird)
>seemed eager to imitate Peggy being fucked by Hank when he and Dale were making excuses as to why they couldn't answer the cops at the door
>ate a full platter of hotdogs intended for like 10 other people in like a minute because he was hungry and in a rush
>had a dead frog in his car that made it smell awful and kept it there even after finding out about it
>made a vest out of Peggy's underwear
>so desperate for physical contact with women that he plays with the bras on mannequins
>came to Luanne's Bible class to watch her swim in a bikini (not that finding her hot is weird in itself, but the other characters that were there were notable for being the sleazy ones)
>his yard is visibly disgusting, and he has a 3-foot pile of rotting food outside his window
>gave himself lice to get the attention of "the lice lady," then gave the guys lice
>according to Hank, he buries his porn in the Hills' yard, sleeps on Hank's car, steals Ladybird's toys, and once kept a chamber pot in his room
>spits when he talks and farts when he spits
>hangs around the Hills' house often enough that he knows what it smells like and can detect a gas leak
>seemed excited about giving Hank and Peggy mouth-to-mouth
>once got drunk and drank from Ladybird's dog bowl
>tries to color-match clothes to the food stains they could get
>seems to have stolen one of his suits from a corpse
>got drunk and kissed someone under the mistletoe against their will (may have been Hank or Peggy)
>has enough noticeable ear and nose hair that Hank felt he "needed" a trimmer for Christmas
>Hank is his ideal of a perfect woman
>desperate enough for women that he fantasizes about being romantically involved with a football field, if the field had the mind of a woman
>has to be told not to drool and wipe his hands on other people's car seats (he calls this "Church Rules")
>apparently swallows a lot of food whole
>house is literally falling apart in addition to being dirty and barely livable
>enjoys roleplaying as Hank
>has bedbugs
>eats birdseed
>birds seem to frequently flock on and around him
>makes a point of driving behind Peggy, wherever she goes
>saves pictures of the Hills in an album
People hate Peggy because they dont think she is sufficiently punished.
Bill's life is punishment
You just KNOW there's a real life person out there like Bill, and he probably posts on /b/.
>/b/ill.
Goddamn I didn't think it will be that much against bill
>then says he might eat one of the guys if they were in a "desert-island situation"
>seems to have a fetish for women wrestling in pudding, also watches women wrestle while eating pudding
>has erotic dreams about Peggy, some of which involve her spanking him
>seems turned on by Peggy's foot fetish website
>had a dream in which he and the guys were standing in the alley naked
>specifically mentions that dream-Hank was wearing tiny plastic underwear but you could still see everything
>says that wasn't even the "weird part" of the dream before getting interrupted
I got bored of reading at this point but none of these things are wrong/can be helped other than he should keep it to himself. You'd probably eat one of your friends too if you were stuck on an island with no food.
>>82717867
Him announcing those to people who definitely don't want to hear about it is the reason they're included, since all of those were said by him to others rather than just implied.
Otherwise no one would even know.
>>82717598
I think we've all seen people objectively worse than Bill.
