My dreams for a Hasbro cinematic universe have been destroyed all because they couldn't make this movie good
I've always wanted to see Jem meet Optimus Prime and help take down Cobra but now something like that will never happen
>>83848105
Is there a Hasbro movie that isn't shit?
>>83848561
Yeah
Your Mom's Box, a feature film
>>83848561
I liked Rise of Cobra.
>inb4 that movie was stupid
A GI Joe movie was stupid? How dare they.
>>83849416
Rise of Cobra was, overall, much more entertaining than Retaliation.
>>83849416
it got it all wrong.
>Baroness is Duke's ex gf who is brainwashed to be evil
>Cobra Commander is Baroness's brother
>Ripcord was annoying as shit.
>>83849456
I didn't really care about the character changes, honestly. I get why super-fans did, but they didn't effect me much and watching Joseph Gordon-Levitt give the absolute best/worst performance of his career made them worth it for me.
>Ripcord was annoying as shit.
That was the least-annoying a Wayans had been in a movie in decades, anon. He was mostly normal.
>>83849520
>Joseph Gordon-Levitt give the absolute best/worst performance of his career made them worth it for me.
Every scene between him and Destro was gold.
>COOBRAAAAA
>Jem crossing over with anything else
How about no. Jem ought to remain pure, untaited by crossover bullshit.
>>83848105
Ouija
>>83849589
This. JGL literally didn't give a single shit about what was going on and I loved it.
Also I have to give props for starting a GI Joe movie with a flashback back to medieval Scotland jsut to explain Destro's mask for no reason at all. That takes some serious balls.
>>83849709
You don't want Eric Raymond to team up with Cobra through a Misfits/Cold Slither team up but then call them a bunch of psychos when he realizes their true motives and have to be saved by Jem and co resulting in tsundere thank yous?
>>83849815
Of in general that whole flashback sequence with Commander's origin that is almost shot like it comes from a more serious movie.
And Destro's face transformation is still my favorite bit
>at last I have joined the clan of the McCullen's
...dude, your face just became metal.
That's Stephen Sommers for you.
>>83849907
Sommers is a solid director when he doesn't crawl too far up his own ass, like Van Helsing. He can deliver good blockbuster entertainment, which is exactly what I wanted from a GI Joe movie and it's what I got.
But I'll take Rise of Cobra over Retaliation any day. That movie is bizarrely self-serious and ull for no good reason, and it basically doesn't wake up until the last 15 minutes when all the good GI Joe parts you want to see finally happen. Chu's direction is just too sterile and airless for my tastes, and replacing the original cast with a bored The Rock and a bunch of CW-tier nobodies killed any sense of drama.
The best parts of Retaliation were the five minutes Jonathan Pryce were on-screen, who had clearly taken over for JGL in the "clearly doesn't give one iota of a fuck about what's going on." Whatever movie he was in the entire time seemed way better then the one I was actually watching.
>>83848105
you have to admit, that movie was truly, truly outrageous
Just pretend it still is, like the old cartoon universe.
>>83848105
How the fuck does Chu keep getting work?
>>83849416
My only problem with Rise of Cobra is that they made Baroness a TRAGIC VICTIM.
>>83850366
Completely agree about Retaliation.
For me the best part of that was the ending plans and England getting with a space bullet.
And hey, quit complaining. At least you GOT a movie Inhumanoids has been dead for decades.
>>83850786
That was stupid, but Sienna was literally perfect casting physically. No accent obviously, but she looked like she walked right out of the cartoon. And before that turn she was fun in the role.
And muh wayfoo Rachel Nichols was Scarlett, so that was nice.
>>83850830
Oh man, when the ending comes and it's all that bullshit(Cobra banners on the white house, tungsten rod space cannons blowing the fuck out of England, President Zartan playing a game of Nuke Chicken, The Rock getting into a Gun-Kata fight with Titus Pullo) it finally becomes the movie I wanted.
But everything before that was just so goddamn dull. Even the silent ninja sequence had no weight to it at all, it was a great idea fucked up by the empty direction.
>>83850889
Patiently waiting for Visionaries and Dino Riders here.
>>83849439
>Rise of Cobra was, overall, much more entertaining than Retaliation.
Retaliation was better by virtue of not having the fucking accelerator suits.
>>83849709
>Jem ought to remain pure, untaited by crossover bullshit.
D'Compose from Inhumanoids cameoed in an episode.
Hector Ramirez from GI Joe was also in an episode.
It was tainted by crossovers from the beginning.
>>83851094
Dino Riders is Mattel.
But good news, they're making a movie to try and copy Transformers.
>>83851153
The accelerator suits were awesome m8. They were in one sequence and then got shelved, the exact kind of extended toy commercial GI Joe could become.
I guess I think of GI Joe as the cartoon first. My perspective on the show was watching the VHS of the animated movie a thousand times as a kid, I was never introduced to the comics until way later. Hama did some great work and it's clearly objectively better then the cartoon, but that's still not my first thought when I think of Joe. So the fact that Sommers made a live-action version of the cartoon was perfect for me. The fact that it was fucking retarded and brazenly childish was fine for me.
I totally get why the comic fans hated it though. It is a uniquely moronic movie, and if you aren't a fan of ultra-ham acting the performances are going to make you want to drink bleach.
>>83851285
Dino Riders-Barbie Cinematic Universe?
>>83851539
Sure, why not.
Throw in Mighty Max and.....
The fuck else does Mattel even have?
Monster High. You know, that toy line that absolutely dominates the fashion doll market.
>>83848105
Read the comics instead.
>>83852098
Naw
They should've made Jem an over the top 80s comedy homage like Kung Fury, with Outrun music and overly 80s shit like leotards and cocaine
>>83854183
This. Jem only works as a period piece.
>>83854183
That would have made sense. Instead it was set in the modern era with teenagers on Youtube. Why market it to that demographic when they don't know or care about Jem.
>>83854236
Imagine Tina Fey making a new Mean Girls type of movie, with a bunch of Disney stars taking the piss. Music composed by Dan Terminus, Perturbator, Com Truise, Miami Nights 1984, Lazerhawk etc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8FYYCI8MW8
>>83849416
fuck yeah. Rise of Cobra is pure goofy fun - which is what Sommers is good at doing. Retaliation felt like a dull action movie. Rise of Cobra embraced the goofiness of the world.
