>>83682210
>literally who defunct flipfag magazine

I try to translate
>>83682448
>Once upon a time, in a far far (far) away planet Memer, a battle happneds between Airee Collette (a.k.a. Ogi Bendogi) - a notorious thief and snatcher who is wanted on two continents, and Sheriff Poppy (a.k.a Darth Vord) - the unlucky one who's ordered to capture that criminal. Their feud is very long until the wait is over - the time of their final battle...

>(Maybe it's better as moving text, right? When will attend multimedia)?

>Ogi Bendogi: You will play what you did to Bay-Gon-Jin! You dumped my partner!!!

>What are you saying here? I stoned him with a wooden sandal! Is my fault that if he withdrawn to the toilet and accidentally flushed himself?
>And you have bullsye and it's painful especially I have a sinus!
>Ba! That is stupidity ha!

>Ogi Bendogi: Just!!! Prepare yourself now! This is our last encounter!!!
You're finished, DARTH VORD!

>We just take a shortcut...

>Darth Vord: Alas! My undies!

>Bystander: Ay! How lewd is that one!
>Oh yes! He's fighting without his pants!

>But that's not the true story. Here are the true happenings... (Read the next page)

>>83684363

>>83682453
>Airee Collette: Here it is! As promised to you, the famous Golden Raccoon!

>Airee Collette: Ha! You cannot buy it somehwere else!

>>83682459
>Airee Collette: It is the only one existing in the entire world. It had two others, however they cannot be found. They said that they were supposedly destroyed in the destruction of the Raccoon Palace...
>On the bright side, your grandfather is a great excavator. He found that [Golden Raccoon].
>You're truly lucky and we met. I would plan to sell that in the museum...

>Merchant: Really? And how much you will pawn it to me?

>Airee Collette: Hmmm...
>Because I am a good person, I will give you a discount...
>Say... Ten thousand gold only.

>Merchant: And is you're trying to sell fake? I disbelieve...

That's it for my rough-ish translations.