Dad! Your hand is jammed in the toaster!Favourite SImpsons joke thread?
>"Hey, this emergency exit is only painted on!"
every fox joke
>>83527108
https://frinkiac.com/
>>83527146
Well sir, I won't bore you with the deatils of our miraculous escape...
>>83527232
Ah yes, that crippled irishman!
>>83527232
$pringfield was a goldmine of quality jokes
>Not I,the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords
> The Soviet Union? I thought you guys disbanded.
> Yes, that's what we WANTED you to think. AHAHAHAHAHA!
>>83527108
Best Treehouse of Horror episode.
"STUPID BUG YOU GO SQUISH"!
>>Sir! They fired their general at us!
>>Then we'll fire back!
*Men grab their general*
>>NO! I mean, fire back with a torpedo
is it about my cube?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WSU4R-Rgt0
Always made my brother and I laugh.
It being on it's 300th season is probably the best joke at this point.
>>83528764
>I think he's talking to you
Also I can't take the movie Cape Fear anymore thanks to this episode
Another day, another box of stolen pens.
"Give me the drugs Lisa."
>>83529808
I don't have the same hate boner /co/ has for Lisa but this episode was great.
Also the shot of Maggie in the pet carrier made me laugh.
"Attempted murder," now honestly, did they ever give anyone a Nobel prize for "attempted chemistry?"
Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to alive.
>>83529828
It's one of my favorite episodes
Yes.
Maybe not the best but I still laughed
>try the new Shrek-Berry Blast! When you buy it you get a coupon for 10% off any Shrek movie except the first two!
>>83527861
I never got why some people at NHC say Simpson Tide felt like a Scully episode. The absurdity of its humour was more inline with the rest of the 3G episodes, having very much a Critic vibe to it. And Homer never once acted like a jerkass in the episode, nor did the episode feel mean spirited in the slightest.
THIS IS NED FLANDERS MY FRIEND
I'm Ned Flanders and I wear the saaame stupid sweater evvvery day and --
THE SPRINGFIELD RIVER!
>>83527108
>Hand in the toaster
>Best gag
>Not
>DAD! IT'S IN THERE AGAIN!
>What are you bringing back for dinner?
>If you're good, pizza. If you're bad...poison.
Don't know if its my all time favorite but god damn it gets me every time
>>83529847
The man has a point. You don't go to jail for attempted piracy or attempted jaywalking
The Aurora Borealis?
At this time of day?
In this part of the country?
Localized ENTIRELY in your kitchen?
>yes
May I see?
>Uh, no
>>83530617
>What if one of us is good and one of us is bad?
>Poison Pizza
>I'm not making two stops
HEY MR. PRIME MINISTER!!!
ANDY!!!!!
Marge: Homer that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me again.
Homer: That's not the way she tells it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLww3KpLEoo&list=LLqDiCwriioj-kgzgTUXJGgQ&index=11
>>83530658
Would anyone happen to have the wallpaper of this?
![The.Simpsons.S08E25.INTERNAL.DVDRip.XviD-TOPAZ.avi_snapshot_04.20_[2016.06.06_06.32.24].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/bvradME.jpg "The.Simpsons.S08E25.INTERNAL.DVDRip.XviD-TOPAZ.avi_snapshot_04.20_[2016.06.06_06.32.24].jpg")
>Just ask this scientitian!
>Uh...
He can't be the Hulk! I'm the Hulk!
urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh.
Come on, damn it! Change!
I really did it once.
I TOLD YOU TO SHAVE THOSE SIDEBURNS!
>>83530045
I still say Yes like this whenever I get the opportunity.
>What country is this car from?
>Eeeeh, it doesn't exist anymore
>Come on! Put it in 'H'!
>>83530869
YOU KNOW WHO'D BE PERFECT FOR THAT BATMOBILE?
THE THING!
>So you admit you grabbed her sweet can.
>No, Mr. Simpson! Don't take your anger out on me! No Mr. Simpson NOOOOOO!
Hehehehe, look at this country! U-R-Gay.
>>83530971
Are you nuts? The Thing fits in there perfectly.
Look. He's fitting right now.
You broke my Batmobile!
Broke? Or made it better?
>"These were the Generals last words before he was shot in the back"
>Homer? There's a man here who thinks he can help you.
Batman?
>No, he's a scientist.
Batman's a scientist.
>It's not Batman!
>>83530821
I've saved too much from this site.
>Something was lacking... call it... heart
>No hussle either skip!
How much of a kissass they made daryl strawberrie was fucking hilarious
>Am I so out of touch.
>No, its the Children who are wrong.
4chan in a nutshell.png
>>83531012
This one slays me every time.
>>83529847
The, Bart. The.
>Hop in.
>I'll catch you beer baron...
>Noooo yooouuu woooon't
>Yes. I will.
>D'oooooh.
AW COME ON! LEAVE TOWN!
>>83531012
"You could call 'em Whitey Whackers!"
Hello, Mr... Kurns. I bad want. Money now. Me sick.
>Oooh, he card reads good.
The unrepentant shitting on the British always gets me.
>Awwwwww the Denver Broncos
Did they just retcon the fact that Homer owns denver or do you think he just sold the team for super cheap or lost them in a poker game?
>>83531194
>Simpsons
>continuity
>>83527108
>Hmm, fabulous house, well behaved kids, sisters in law dead, luxury sedan. Woohoo! I hit the jackpot! Marge Dear, would you kindly pass me a donut?
>Donut? Whats a Donut?
>AAAAAAAAAAH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
>Hmm, its raining again
>>83531194
In the comics, Homer traded them to Moe to pay off part of his bar tab.
Yes, he got straight-up robbed.
"Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle we form a mighty faggot!"
>>83531229
>You...went into outer space. YOU.
>>83531194
It was a joke, anon.
>>83531275
I don't remember that overlay
>>83531176
Amen to that.
Also Everything with this dentist is gold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0To2SKnSDUo
Meow-Meow-Meow Meow Meow-Meow Meow-Meow Meow-Meow
>>83531333
>That's right.
>I think things I'd never say
>>83531275
Gotta be honest, when I saw this episode live It really struck me as a...new low. I think that the last 7 or 8 seasons are soooo much better than say 14-19
>>83531357
The original airing didn't have the definition pop up.
>That elephant ate my entire platoon
>>83531357
Didn't say it was a great episode, but it was a fantastic line.
D I ET
>Well well well, Steve Sax from New York City. I heard some guy got killed from New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't happen to know anything about that now would ya Steve?
There's hundreds of unsolved murders in New York city!
>You're just digging yourself in deeper, pal.
>>83531373
Are you telling me that reruns have to explain the joke?
>Look at how he accuses me! And at my own trial, no less!
-Here are your messages: "You have thirty minutes to move your car." "You have ten minutes." "Your car has been impounded." "Your car has been crushed into a cube." "You have thirty minutes to move your cube."
[Phone Rings]
-Y'ello, Mr. Burns Office?
-Is it about my cube?
The timing in this one is perfect
>>83531451
To prevent ignorant people from getting offended.
Like people who'd get upset at "niggardly"
>>83531404
>The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan "Up with Mini-skirts!". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed "Charlie" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can't get the spices right!
The delivery on that speech is the best thing ever.
>>83531435
>Ken Griffey's grotesquely swollen jaw!
>Steve Sax and his run in with the law!
Another great line from a fairly crap episode.
>>83531404
>>83531494
I miss Vietnam flashback Skinner.
>>83531539
Were talkin Homer, Ozzy and the Straw!
>>83531540
>a fairly crap episode.
What?
It was great.
>>83531554
I haven't watched the Simpsons for like 10 years.
Have they made him a Gulf War 1 vet now or something?
>>83531540
>>83531573
>Barneys movie had heart
>But football in the groin had a football in the groin
>>83531559
>Wade Boggs gets lost in an unknown dimension
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>nonsensical equation floats by
>Neat!
>[takes photo]
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>83531261
Damn, poor moe.
>>83531573
To be perfectly honest I loved it. But I know that it copped a torrent of hate at the time because of its crossover nature.
>>83531587
No, they just stopped making Skinner PTSD jokes altogether. Around season 12 I think.
>>83531605
>Get me Steven Spielberg!
>He's unavailable.
>Then get me his non-union Mexican equivalent!
>>83531559
The guy floating through dimensions gets me every goddamn time.
>Is it about my cube?
>>83531653
"Schindler es bueno, Señor Burns es el diablo."
>>83531653
>Senor Spielbergo
>>83531554
>C'mon Skinner. Get 'em. Get 'em.
> art style change never ever
>>83531622
>Wade Boggs
That was Ozzie Smith, Boggs got knocked out at Moe's.
>Pitt the Elder.
tfw summer
>>83531709
I literally have no memory of this.
Episode?
>Maaaarrrge?
>Yes Homey? Do doo doodoo dodo do doo do
>THAT'S IT! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to Clown College!
>I don't think any of us expected him to say that.
>>83531757
Burn that seat.
>>83531748
The boy who knew too much
>>83531261
Homer, or Moe?
>>83531740
>Oh crap! I shouldn't have said he was our customer.
>Oh crap! I shouldn't have said it was a secret
>Oh crap! I definitely shouldn't have said it was illegal.
>>83531748
Deleted scene from "The boy who knew too much"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCAUF_ee3xg
>>83531793
Huh. I must have seen that episode a dozen times.
Somehow that part has slipped my mind.
>Chowdah.
>>83531732
>Pitt the Elder.
LORD PALMERSTON!
>>83531815
Deleted?
So it wasn't aired?
>>83531839
Not on Fox at least. I know some channels like Adult Swim show the deleted scenes.
>>83531869
That explains it.
Funny scene but I can understand why they'd delete it
>>83531830
You would be amazed how much this shows up when studying British History.
>>83531903
I don't even know who those guys are.
>>83531920
One is the greatest British prime minister of all time and one is not
>>83531903
It should be a rule that if the debate reaches that point it shall be settled by fisticuffs.
Anytime Homer has a conversation with his brain or his brain just peaces out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ibBDB2OFr8
>>83531931
Hmmm. Well one is called Elder, but old people aren't inherently better. The other is called Lord, but lords don't always make good leaders either. Based purely on the name, and my almost complete lack of knowledge of Prime Ministers, I'm going with Pitt the Elder.
>Are you saying Boo or Boourns?I was saying Boourns
oh no! My brains!
>>83531573
I thought it was an alright episode, but I have an irrational hatred for it due to overplaying.
I swear there was a period of about 2 months straight when I was in high school that I'd see that episode on TV at least 3 times a week.
>>83531787
Kill...wealthy...dowager.
Pretty much all of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LSIsy6YEXQ
The doll's trying to kill me and the toaster's been laughin' at me!
>>83531815
too on the nose, editor was in the right
>>83530658
The whole sequence was pure gold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLww3KpLEoo
And as for you, I don't know who you are but I'm sure YOU'RE a jerk!
>>83532361
Love that episode
>Diddly ding dong CRAP
>>83531692
"We both made weapons for the Nazis, but mine worked goddamnit!"
>>83532373
>I have had sexual relations with your spouse or significant other
>Now THAT'S therapy!
>>83532462
>Ned Flanders. I mock your value system. You also appear foolish in the eyes of others.
>>83531798
>Ohhh, it's too hot out.
>>83532477
>Why are the animals always the first to know?
>Don't touch anything?
>I'LL TOUCH WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!
>>83532539
I still get a kick out of the idea that Homer fucked up fixing a toaster so bad he invented a Time Machine.
Hilarious
>DENTAL PLAN
>>83532586
LISA NEEDS BRACES
>>83532567
This scene always kills me. Only Homer could make this happen
>>83532567
>rolling a critical fail.gif
>Oh, I'll take you as my plus one Mr. Burns.
>Just as soon as we discover a cure for seventeen stab wounds! What's the word guys?
>Well, we've got it up to twelve!
>Ok Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
...I don't know.
>>83532567
Its a shame gif related gets stolen a lot in newer cartoons.
"Congratulations, Simpson. You just fell for our sting and won yourself three months detention. There's no such thing as Scotchtoberfest!"
"There's not? Ya used me, Skinner! Ya used me!"
>>83530990
It's sad that they predicted how reporting would become.
>>83531275
>people get mad at the word faggot
>they eventually have to put in the overlay
Come on, people, context clues! He's talking about twigs, and being together. Even if you didn't know, you could infer "faggot" meant "group of twigs" at least.
>>83530044
That's a quality barrow.
>>83533189
Reporting has always been like that.
>>83531518
I'm talkin' Hoooomerrrrrr
Ozzie and the Straw!
>>83531830
You tell 'em, Barn.
Pfft, Pitt the Elder.
>>83527108
Probably this one. It's so simple and stupid but I love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzSgzHu4Q5g
>>83533531
I hear that guy's ASS has its own congressmanď
>>83531151
IT'S KURNS STUPID
>>83530895
DON'T BRING HOME ANY MORE OLD CRUTCHES!
>>83533797
>tfw talking to people you barely know and one of them makes a simpson classics reference and ur the only one to get it
>>83532736
I never quite understood the whole "detention sting". Why would bart get detention over something that happened outside of school grounds on a Sunday?
>>83532539
It's raining again.
>>83533231
I don't think the outrage brigade is too bright
>>83531903
I keep getting Pitt the Elder and Pliny the Elder mixed up.
>>83531124
is it d'ooooh or woooon't, I've seen it captioned both ways
>I want to be loved
>okay...but uh....I'll need some beer
>>83531484
nobody uses niggardly unless they're trying to rile someone up.
![306722[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/5tgMjZB.jpg "306722[1].jpg")
>>83530127
FLANDERS TO GOD, FLANDERS TO GOD
GET OFF YOUR CLOUD AND SAVE MY TODD!
>>83530990
Dramatisation:maynothavehappened
>>83533474
LORD PALMERSTON
>>83531991
Are you TRYING to get me to punch you?
![729044[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Bm6Dj9N.jpg "729044[1].jpg")
>>83530719
Not
>Cartoons don't have to make sense
>>83528764
What is Clinton doing in the painting?
>>83531540
>Fairly crap episode
Hi Mr. Groening
![1102517[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/1As7pDe.jpg "1102517[1].jpg")
>Homer doesn't say "B'oh!", he says..."D'oh!"
That Maggie though
>>83534518
>What's the president at that time's painting doing in a government building?
![800799[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/h6GgWZc.jpg "800799[1].jpg")
>>83531183
You stupid monkey
>>83531931
Palmerston underrated. Commissioned the forts in my city, and cleaned up the Scutari hospital in Crimea, unlike Nightingale.
>>83527316
WHO'LL PROVIDE FOR ME LITTLE ONES
>>83534558
No look at his right arm.
>>83531404
>>83531333
It's
>Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.
HEYBARTDOYOUWANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK?
I absolutely love the short, throwaway jokes the old Simpsons used to use often.
Often no more than 10 seconds spent on set-up and payoff. Even a miss wasn't a loss but the hits were just too good.
>>83532675
Great idea, Bart
>>83534603
He's just practicing his strokes, that's all.
>>83531275
4chan community ethos.jpg
>Hey, that's not a dummy!
>>83535987
>ISIS releases a new execution video.jpg
>Any luck, Krusty?
>Nah - That guy's giving it away for free!
>And now, the Crazy Old Man Dancers!
>Old gray mare she, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be
>>83536018
>>83536040
Best episode in the whole series, 10/10 jokes every moment
>>83536084
OH NO
BETTE MIDLER
>>83536136
http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/snitch18.mp3
>>83536060
>Average round of space station 13
This whole scene. I still sing this to myself.
>"I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan A to chimpanzee, oh you'll never make a monkey out of me!"
>>83536136
>>83536154
it's spelled with an E?
I had no idea
>>83536247
I wasn't sure if Midler was D or T and had to google it.
>>83536234
OH MY GOD!
I WAS WRONG!
It was Earth...all along.
You've finally made a monkey out of me...
>Welcome to the Krusty Komedy Klassic
>KKK? oh boy
>>83529847
>I shall send you to Heaven, before I send you to Hell
>>83531018
It was the follow up where he starts covering up all of the DC titles that killed me.
>>83531554
We all do, Anon
>>83536234
I didn't get the fish jokes until recently
>You have my con-diddily-olences
>I'm sorry, I'm nervous, didn't mean any disrespect
>>83531423
How could I forget about this one
>>83532373
>The only case YOU ever got to the bottom of was a case of MALLOWMARS!
That line is the single funniest one in the entire show.
>>83531277
You never been?
>>83531540
>crap episode
Couldn't be anymore wrong.
>>83531018
That scene says so much about Stan's career at Marvel of being a "credit stealing snake oil salesman" that it's frankly kind of unsettling
>>83536530
I think it was a Richard Gere joke. Big long time rumour/joke he did the whole gerbil up the ass thing.
>>83530869
This is most cringe moment in Simpsons for me.especially in translation on TV they replaced Hulk for King Kong for some reason
>>83537527
Translations can get weird.
In French Homer's voice is deep and kinda throaty. The opposite of his English one.
The rest of the cast sound mostly the same, but Homer's is just so weird in French
>Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, it'd eat you and everyone you care about.
Every. Fucking. Time.
I blame the music.
>>83530468
One of the best stupid jokes from the show.
>>83527108
A very underrated one (because the episode is awful) is in the curfew episode, when lou aims the light at the kids and scares chief wiggum, not because of the whole situation; just because how lou laughs silently at the end.
"Mountain Dew or Crab Juice."
"Bleck! Ew! Jeeze!"
"One crab juice."
>>83531194
>Simpsons making fun of pre-Davis Broncos
>Mattingly being soft
>Strawberry being an asshole
>Lisa the Greek predictions
Simpson's sports references were on point back then.
>>83530045
An under-appreciated one from Classic Simpsons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zvhw9BSURGg
>>83530719
It's shameful to admit this to myself as a Simpsons-fan but what episode was this?
>>83540380
IIRC, it's the beginning to 'Bart's Elephant'
>>83538591
It's "I'll take a crab juice."
Dies for the ballet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLXOpxDR5kI
>>83538753
Really? Me and my friends say yes like that all the time
>watched most of the simpson episodes out of pure boredom because one of the channels on my tv does nothing but that
>people posting these jokes
>can't laugh at any of them except maybe 2 or 3
>>83529808
In Castilian (EU Spanish) they actually translated the joke to "The cocaine, Lisa". I think it´s even more hilarious that way.
>>83536530
>I thought you said he was dead.
>No, I said he sleeps with the fishes.
>>83530833
TESTING
Favourite Simpsons joke?
>>83530869
>>83531018
>>83536400
Was this the only good post-S9 guest star?
>>83533189
>predicted
Nah, there was a lot of scaremongering about that in the 90's.
>>83531012
This is a black day for baseball.
>>83541603
Alan Moore was in that Zombie Simpsons episode.
>tfw BIG SHOES TO FILL
>>83541903
I just got the double entendre.
He's Whitey Ford
>I hope you know you're sponsoring a celebration of a murderous pirate.
>A pirate?! Well, that's hardly the image we want for Long John Silver's!
>Lisa, before you go, would you like to hear a song?
>Wow, that’d be great!
>Okay, take it Apu!
>I’m Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club man, I hope I will enjoy my show!
>Um, conflicted
>Too bad, you already signed the deal!
>Actually, he hasn't.
>Well, we highly value your input...
>Until you sign the deal.
It's too simple to even count as a joke, but it makes me laugh.
>>83532643
fifteen actually
>>83536154
>I'll get you for this Midleeeeeerrrrr
>car explodes off cliff
>*Gasp* Oh my God!
>What is it?
>Tramampoline! Trampampoline!
>He said what now?
>Please don't bring back any more old crutches!
>>83544717
That half second of them moving and hitting the tree is what makes this.
