I wish...
Mom finds that apartment she's looking for tomorrow.
>>83123768
Granted. After a year or so, she starts getting horrible coughing fits. Finds out the apartment is crawling with some serious type of mold.
I'm sorry, anon.
Monkey paw threads would stop
>>83123893
At this point that would probably kill her.
>>83124013
Granted but now Stephen Universe has two generals that can't be filtered
To have complete and utter omnipotence
>>83124086
Hey I thought there would be a downside.
>>83124091
Granted. You are usurped and killed by other lesser gods.
>>83124013
Monkey paw threads stop, but are replaced by some other shitpost.
The cycle never ends, anon.
I wish I were never born.
I wish I was the magic monkey paw
Wish I could save her...
>>83124163
Granted but you still have your current conscious, only that you are a sperm cell that failed to reach your mothers egg.
The voices in my head would stop screaming whenever I saw her.
>>83124872
Alright.
The voices scream 24/7, and only stop whenever you see her.
>>83124229
You retain your consciousness and awareness as you are reposted again and again, with ever more "clever" ironic shitposts, forever.
>>83123741
to have a healing ability like Wolverine.
I wish for a turkey sandwich... on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and... AND!... I don't want any zombie turkies, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you GOT IT?!
>>83125081
Granted, but you can not eat the turkey sandwich.
i wishmy baby had never die and my to not suicide after that, and no harm to be done to them with any kind of drawback coming form a mythical paw or anything else
fuck you monkey paw i just want them to be fine, i dont care what you do to me
I wish nostalgia tards (Cartoon Network, Star Wars, etc) would just shut the fuck up and learn to accept their new products. Ungrateful cunts
>>83125081
You only get white meat in the sandwich.
That Zach Snyder, joss Whedon, and Brett ratner would die in a car crash
>>83124905
You fucking piece of shit. There is no God. They scream on end. My children can hear it.
>>83125204
granted now shamamalan, lucas and bay are making the same movies they did
>>83125010
Granted. Even the most minor of damage to your cells cause massive cancerous growths to develop. By the end of the month, you will be a living ball od cancer unable to die
>>83125182
Granted, but now they won't shut up about their new products.
>>83125763
So I'm just like all of 4chan then?
>>83125927
>>83123741
For TWO HA'PENNIES
>it's 2006
I wish for a Superman movie where he actually fights someone equal to his power.
And I also want a Justice League movie one day.
>>83126259
can you imagine if someone did a monkey paw thread and then someone said that exact thing?
i could fucking hate that anon for the rest of my lifeand even mail him/her a somme glitter
>>83125081
Sorely disappointed in all of you for not saying "Granted, butthe turkey is a little dry"
>>83123741
Pic related but with the addition that in the likelihood that the monkeys paw or any wish granting entity still manages to generate an outcome that is negative in total the monkey's paw or any wish granting entity will instantly be turned into another wish granting entity that will follow the rules of my claim.
>>83126431
THE TURKEY'S A LITTLE DRY?!
I wishMLPnever happened
>>83124149
>tfw the monkey paw is just real life accelerated
>>83124229
You are forced to grant wishes until you become old and bitter, causing you to twist peoples desires and ruin their lives.
>>83126460
Granted.
But the autism and general social repulsiveness of bronies now infest your favourite fandom
>>83125357
Fuck it, I'm in.
>>83126431
>I'm disappointed in you for not making the most obvious reference that everyone and their grandmother already thought of as soon as they saw that word-for-word quote in >>83125081
>>83126460
But I love Major[/spoiler] LeaguePing-pong!
>>83123741
a new ghostbusters movie
>>83126655
MajorLeaguePing-pong
Now the joke is ruined, well that stinks.
>>83126659
It's your fault
for chilli and sea bass
>>83126792
Someone get this hothead out of here.
This isn't /tv/
>>83125357
I actually think that Micheal Bay has talent, but is more about making commercial success than anything else. Transformers is shit, but I really doubt it's just him on that.
>>83126440
Ok, but the monkey's paw had anthrax on it.
>>83125357
Shamalaman Watchmen. How is it?
>>83126836
I think he does.
He's crude as hell, but sometimes crudeness works.
Have you seen Pain and Gain?
I thought it was pretty good. Granted, I was drunk at the time, but still.
that gays didn't exist and that /sug/ would die forever.
I wish I can enjoy new things…
>>83123741
I WANT AN XBOX!
>>83126933
Granted, you now hate everything you used to love
>>83127220
Can I learn to love things I use to hate?
>>83127189
Why is this so faintly familiar?
>>83126870
Well shit, monkey's paw is truly unbeatable.
>>83127253
Could you have just learned to live new things? Exactly...
>>83124129
>omnipotence
>ursuped
Someone get him a dictionary.
>>83127433
You can have unlimited power but if your'e too dumb to protect yourself, you can still be eliminated.
Omnipotence is not omniscience nor immortality.
>>83123741
I wish that Captain America would be made more interesting than just the cape Jason Borne.
>>83124243
There something you want to talk about anon.
>>83127482
>Omnipotence is not omniscience nor immortality.
It is if you want it to be
>>83127482
om·nip·o·tence
ämˈnipədəns/
noun
noun: omnipotence; plural noun: omnipotences
The quality of having unlimited power.
synonyms: all-powerfulness, almightiness, supremacy, preeminence, supreme power, absolute power, unlimited power; invincibility
>>83124091
Granted but nothing happens as your skepticism erases any proof of change from existence making you think the wish failed. Your subconscious blocks your powers due to this and you live the rest of your life like a normal human unaware of the unlimited power just in your grasp.
I wish I lived in the board-tan universe.
It's the only place I am familiar with.
>>83127255
Fairy Wish Prince by Stamper
>>83127755
Granted.
You are /pol/
>>83127827
Thanks, mate.
I thought I heard his voice when I saw the image
>>83123741
My life wasn't absolute shit and I didn't have the desire to kill myself every time I get out of bed.
I only wish to be happy.
>>83127939
Granted.
But in doing so everyone else's life will be miserable and they'll all blame it on you.
No matter where you go people will hate you and beat you up.
Enjoy.
>>83128061
...how does that make him happy? Does he get erections from taking a beating now?
>>83128081
Probably, I dunno.
I don't care, to be honest.
>>83127841
>implying it's bad
Just few leaves here and there and it's good.
>>83125164
Granted.
I wish for the next big comic book event to upset /co/ in some way.
>>83128972
Granted.
>>83128234
thanks monkey paw, i love youif only it was that easy to get them back
I wish for unlimited wishes in a way that will horribly backfire (or otherwise aggrieve) on me where this also applies to the wishes I will be making as a result of this wish.
>>83123741
I WISH ... that the asshats who come to /co/ just to start threads about how much they hate comics would burst into flames and only burn to the point where skin-grafts would no longer help them.
I wish there were no longer monkey paws to make wishes on.
I'll take whatever consequence as long as they can no longer hurt others...if only...
I wish for 1 billion American dollars to be legally deposited into my bank account and no negative effect can take place until the account hits zero american dollars and zero cents.
>>83125081
Granted, but it has sun dried tomatoes.
>>83130939
Granted. /co/ is now nothing but cartoon generals and live action threads.
